Chapter 72
In school girls started talking about prom over the next two weeks. I had tlaked ot Becky and she had confirmed it. Sean was going to College. She was stuck in high school. It would never have worked. And Rainie started talking about the colleges she was thinking of going to. They were all close by. I assumed Paul and her would be going to college together. Starting thier lives out of high school together.
Bennett said nothing about college. Ever.
We were at IHOP. Everytihng was the same except I wasn't taking anything for granted. I tried my best to remember what it was like to be there with him with his, or our, friends. I listened to Jonah's story about how he followed these directions for mapquest and ended up in the city the other day. Which I'm not sure could happen becuase nobody does that. But it was Jonah and it's possible I assume. I talked ot Rainie and helped Bennett fill her in on the details of Sean and Becky breaking up.
When I was just listneing to someone talk I felt my hands move to my neck. My mother had pointed this out ot me. I had been doing it unawarily. She had looked across at me for the billionth time. "Why do oyu play with that chain all of the time?"
I never knew I did. But I could feel my hands pick it up and turn the little chain around in my fingertips. Taking int the thin shape of it. And I listened. Once that was pointed out to me. I notced the look on Bennett's face hwen he saw me playing with it. He'd smile a little. and look away. Knowing I was still wearing it, made him porbably feel like I did having it and forgettign it was there around my neck like a part of me.
We were sitting in his room. My mother was gone. His mother was workign althoguh she's been home a lot. I've seen her more and we;ve become somewha friends. I can't imagine her being his mother. She seems so young always. Like an older sister. But somehow I always feel like he lives alone. Same as me.
He picked up his guitar. The one with the Get Up Kids sticker. He started strumming the chords I recognzed of an acoustic version of "I'll Catch You" he was lsitenign to me talk but I began listening to him. He hadn't done this to drown out what I was saying. But he stopped playing when my voice vanished. "What?" He asked.
"Nothing," I said quickly.
He put down his guitar coming over to me. Sitting down beside me. He leaned in and kissed my temple. "Tell me," He said agaisnt my skin.
My heart started racing. I rolled my eyes. "It's dumb." I said.
He moved his arms around my waist. "Everything you say is awe-inspiring." He said. "I belive every word you say." And he kissed my neck once pulling me agaisnt him. I laughed. He looked at me. Holind me so clsoe to him.
Then he kissed me on the lips. Sending me for a loop. I closed my eyes and kissed him. The jaws of life pulled us apart eventually. But who knew the greatest source of power could be exhaustion.
He turned onto his side lookign at me. Leaning his head onto his hand. "Sneak," He said smiling. "I didn't forget. Tell me why you were acting funny again."
"Acting funny" was something he always noticed. Soemthing I could distract him from. I smiled. My hands resting on my stomach. It was so early and I could fall asleep right now. My heart still speeding. Slipping into the exhaustion my whole body was victimized to. I had only slept with him twice before tonight. My eyes closed. He leaned foreward kissing me again.
I forced my eyes open pullign away laughing a little. "You were palying a Get Up Kids song." I said.
He leaned back smiling a little. "I know." He said. His eyes glowing. His face turned into a fake seriousness. "Don't you like that song?"
I smiled shaking my head. He knew it was my favorite. It reminded me so much of him. That's why. My smiled faded and I turned onto my side looking at him too. I felt the chain slip into my fingertips. I played with it. And he smiled watching me.
Moments like this make my heart speed out of control. I can feel it. Everything I felt towards him jsut multiply. It did every moment. Bit by bit. But there were bursts of it now. Here and there. It hurt most then. And he leaned over and kissed my forehead. Touching my face. Just looking at me. I sighed sitting up, reaching over him. I felt insecure. Raw.
He sighed smiling. He said I was always beautiful to him. But there were parts of me that could never change no matter what. I still had my insecurities aroudn the person who wriggled past all of them in a few conversations. He kissed my forehead again.
Falling in love was always easiest when it was hurting me the most.
A/N: This will be done beofre we hit 80 chapters kids. maybe right aroudn there roughly. I'm sorry this is so long. Review Review Review.
So... I'm basically in my writing best right now. I have this old material I never used. And my mother said somethign really interesting in the car the other day. Which means one thing. *sigh* The first chapter will be up in the next few weeks. I'm waiting for that song to hit me. That's what I wait for before I get seious about a story. Elisa and Bennett have one. It's not the title of this story but they have one. And Rainie and Paul have the song that I titled it after. As well as Christopher Drew and Hannah Jane. I'm pretty close. If you guys are into FueledByRamen bands... well then I'll be digging up Pretty. Odd. soon.
