DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS FROM TWILIGHT. THEY ALL BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER.
BPOV
I couldn't believe what I'd just heard. I thought that Jacob was supposed to be my friend. And aren't friends supposed to support each other no matter what? Not according to Jacob. I get downstairs to be told that Edward and Jacob have gone outside to talk. I thought that that would be a good thing. You know, my best friend and my boyfriend talking, getting to know each other a bit. So I went out to find them, only to hear Jacob calling Edward a fucked up freak!
I lost it.
I completely and utterly lost it.
"Jacob Black!" I shouted, not caring who heard me. How dare he speak to Edward like that? I swear if he causes Edward to go backwards in any way, then I won't be held responsible for my actions. "What the hell is going on here?" I said forcefully, looking between the two of them, walking out onto the porch. I rested my gaze on Jacob, looking for an answer, but it was Edward who spoke, in a forced and harsh tone, that I knew wasn't directed at me. I couldn't help feeling a little hurt by it though.
Edward walked past me, a look of pain and hurt on his face and back into the house. "Ask him." He muttered. I could tell that whatever Jacob had said or done had hurt him. I could also tell that he needed time alone at the moment. He always does when he wears that expression. It was okay. I would give him some time to cool down and sort things out in his own head before I went to see him. I knew that he would go to his room. He wouldn't want to be downstairs at the moment, even if it was his own party. And there was an upside to Edward needing a little time on his own. It gave me time to deal with Jacob.
I turned back to the boy who was supposed to be my best friend. "Well?" I said pointedly, crossing my arms over my chest and staring at him. I had learned how to stare at people from observing Edward and I was finding it incredibly useful at this very moment. I had never thought that I would be using it on one of the only people I thought I could trust in the world. I didn't give out my trust easily and this was a perfect example why. Jacob had just shattered whatever trust I had had in him with a few simple words that had an extremely harsh meaning.
"Well, what?" He asked staring back at me, no sign of remorse for what he had said on his face at all.
"Well what?!" I scoffed. "You know exactly what, Jacob Black! What the hell did you think you were doing?"
"Talking to Edward." He stated simply, mimicking my stance.
"Right," I nodded. "So "talking to Edward" involves insulting him? And on his birthday?" I could believe Jacob. I wanted to believe that he would show some sort of remorse for what he had said but I wasn't holding my breath. Jacob was almost as stubborn as Edward was. I say almost.
He just shrugged. "He's a big boy. He'll get over it."
"You really have no idea do you, Jacob?" I shook my head and glared at him. "Edward is still extremely fragile at the moment. One wrong word could undo all those months of therapy and hard work. And how did you even find out?" He shrugged again. "Not an answer, Jacob." I was getting pissed now. I wanted to know how he had found out and I wanted to know now. And whoever told him is going to pay.
"My dad told me."
"How the hell did your dad find out?" I asked shocked and then it hit me. "Charlie." I growled. After he had promised that he wouldn't tell a single soul, he had gone and told Billy Black, who of course would tell Jacob, who of course wouldn't want me to be with anyone else as I turned him down. I couldn't believe this. I was going to kill Charlie. "Tell me, Jacob," I said, lowering my voice, but keeping the anger in my tone. "Why did you say that to Edward?"
He shrugged again. "I thought he needed to hear it." He looked me straight in the eye when he said that, which made me want to cry. How could he believe that Edward needed to hear something like that, especially since we've spent the last eight months or so, trying to convince him that he's not.
"Why?" I breathed, gritting my teeth. "Why would you think that he needed to hear that?" This was something that could break Edward again. He needed people to support him, not insult him. He needed to be surrounded by people that would help his recovery and not hinder it. Jacob's words could set him back months. I just had to make sure that that didn't happen.
"Because he's no good for you Bells. He needs to realise that, and who better to tell him than me." His tone turned smug as he reached the end of that sentence.
"What on earth are you talking about? What you think that he's what? Stuck-up? Spoilt? Cocky? A player? What, Jacob?" I was losing my temper now.
"He's probably all of those things." Jacob wasn't wavering in his belief that Edward was wrong for me. I couldn't believe that the person who was supposed to be my best friend thought this way about the man I loved.
"Yeah. Yeah that's right." I nodded my head, my voice thick with sarcasm. "He's just come out of eight months of intensive therapy because he's cocky. He's still having to undergo therapy because his ego is too big. The Cullens' have a family session planned for two days time because Edward can't leave his credit card alone. How stupid are you Jacob?!" I wasn't going to use his nickname. Not after everything that I had come to realise. "Do you honestly think that any of that is true? Do you know how long its taken us to get Edward to open up just a little bit? The tiniest bit? Do you know how long its taken Edward to build up his confidence?" I waited without getting an answer. "Come on, Jacob! I'm waiting to hear why you thought that someone with an extremely low self-esteem needed to hear the things that you said to him. Huh?"
"He seemed pretty sure of himself tonight?" He snorted. I knew instantly what he was referring to. Edward can seem pretty intimidating when he wants to be. The way he can stare at someone can give him the air of being confident, when really, inside, he's not. I remembered Michael telling me how Edward had shown him his stare before, and I hadn't believed that it could freak someone out that much. That is until I'd seen him use it for real.
I shook my head at him. "You mean the stare?" He looked at me confused, obviously wondering how I could know what he was talking about. "Yeah, I know all about the stare, Jacob. I've seen the effect that it has on people. And let me tell you this now, he is not as confident as that stare makes him seem, and I swear to god, if you've set him back in any way at all....." I didn't need to finish that sentence for him to get my meaning.
"He's no good for you Bells." He whispered, his eyes never leaving my face.
"Don't call me Bells." He looked taken aback. He had always called me Bells and me telling him not to must have been a real kick to the gut. "You lost the privilege of calling me Bells, when you started insulting my boyfriend." He stared at me blankly. "He's been out of hospital for three weeks Jacob. Do you really think that he's over a decade's worth of guilt and self-hatred? How can you even think that?" He shrugged again. "You know, you doing that is going to get really really annoying." I snapped. He didn't seem to care though. "You know what? I don't care what you think. I could care less if you think that he's no good for me, because I know what he has been through. I know what's been going on in his heart, his head and his soul. I just can't believe that you would think that about him, let alone say anything to him. Especially on his birthday. How low can you get, Jacob?" I stood there seething. I couldn't stand this anymore. Jacob wasn't going to believe in Edward any time soon, and I couldn't stand to be away from Edward for much longer, not when there was a good chance that this whole exchange had affected him more than he'd admit to anyone. "You have no idea how he's been feeling over the last ten years. He's been wracked with guilt and pain. So much so that he was willing to starve to death, just to disappear. How can you think that someone like that would have any sort of ego problems? You really have no idea at all, Jacob. I love Edward with my whole being Jacob and if you can't understand that, then......well, I guess that you have no part in my life anymore."
With that I turned on my heel and walked back inside the house. I heard him shout my name, but I ignored him. I wasn't going to answer to him, not when Edward needed me. I had wasted enough time on Jacob already. I had to find Edward. Before he began doubting himself too much, as I knew he would start to do soon.
People were still talking and mingling. I saw Charlie looking at me. He smiled and I shot him a glare, which earned me a confused stare in return. I sent him a look that told him that I knew he had told Billy about Edward. Even though he knew what the look meant, he didn't make any sort of recognition of it. I couldn't see Edward anywhere so I knew that he must have been up in his bedroom, as I knew he would be. I slowly climbed the stairs and walked down the corridor towards his room.
I pressed my ear gently to his door, but couldn't hear anything coming from inside. I slowly turned the handle and opened the door, searching for Edward.
When I saw him, he was sitting on the black leather couch that was in his room. He had his feet tucked underneath him and he had a photo in his hands. As I walked into the room, closing the door behind me, I saw that there was a single tear glistening on his cheek. He looked so sad and alone, just as he had when i first met him. All traces of the strong person he'd become over the last few months had been erased in this moment in time. I knew that those few comments from Jacob, if I didn't do something now, would break him. That was all it took for everything that he'd worked for to come crashing down. He was still so fragile. It broke my heart to see him this way. I couldn't stand it. I wanted to kill Jacob for doing this to him, for bringing him back to this state of mind. But I would deal with Jacob, and my father, later.
I walked over to him slowly, not wanting to startle him. He looked up at me with such a lost expression, I couldn't help but move as quickly as I could to his side and squeeze him tightly. I felt him nestle his head into my shoulder and I ran my fingers through his hair with one hand and rubbed comforting circles into his lower back with the other. I knew that both of these techniques calmed him down, so I was hoping that they would have the same effect now.
"Sshhh, baby." I whispered in his ear. "It's okay. It's okay." I didn't say anything else, knowing that it was just my presence that he needed and not my words. I looked down and saw that the photograph he had been looking at was the one that Carlisle had taken of us that day at the clinic. It was Edward and I, and we looked so happy and carefree, hair blowing about in the wind, laughing at whatever was going on outside the frame of the picture. Thinking back I remembered that we were laughing at Emmett being attacked with a Frisbee by Rose and Alice. I wondered why he was looking at this photograph. He didn't believe what Jacob was saying did he? I hoped not. I hoped that he didn't believe that he wasn't good enough for me. If anything I was the one who wasn't good enough for him. He had become so strong over the last eight months and I could kill Jacob right now for taking that away.
It all goes to show just how fragile he still is.
"Hey, love." I cooed in his ear. "It's alright."
"No," He whispered, shaking his head against my shoulder. "He was right."
"No!" I said firmly, pulling back so I could look at him. He looked so hurt and lost and it broke my heart. "He doesn't know what the hell he's talking about."
"Everything he said is true though." He shook his head and I wiped away the tears that were now falling. "I am fucked up and .... I don't deserve you."
"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen!" He cringed at the use of his full name, knowing that I meant business when I used it in situations like these. "You will stop thinking like that right this second." He looked at me with a disbelieving expression. "You are not fucked up! You've just had a difficult past is all. You've had your problems and you're working through them now. Jacob, he doesn't see that. All he sees is the fact that he likes me and yet I am in love with someone who is strong, gorgeous, kind, loving, gentle and quite possibly the best kisser on the planet." He smiled slightly at this.
"So, where is he?" He asked looking at me, seriousness evident in his voice.
"He's sitting right in front of me." I whispered, pressing my lips to his. "Don't listen to anything Jacob Black has to say, alright. If anything, I'm the one that doesn't deserve you." His face twisted into that of shock and I could see that he was about to protest so I placed a my fingers on his lips, which he kissed gently, causing me to smile. "You are so strong Edward, and it breaks my heart to think that he has caused you to doubt yourself in this way. I could honestly kill him right now for acting that way towards you, and I told him that until he comes to accept that you're in my life for good, he has no part in it."
His eyes widened as I dropped my fingers from his mouth. "Bella, you can't just cut him out of your life because of me. That's not fair to either of you." He was shaking his head, not wanting to believe that I'd done it. "I mean, he's your best friend. You can't give that up. Not for me."
"You see," I said, placing a hand on either side of his face, wiping away the tears that were still falling. "This is one of the reasons that I love you so much Edward. You are so selfless." He looked at me solemnly. "Putting your own feelings aside so that I can have Jacob as a friend."
"I guess thats a turn around," He sighed. "Considering that I used to be extremely selfish. Hurting others in hurting myself and not really caring."
"You're not the same person anymore." I whispered, looking into those deep green orbs. "You used to be so lost, so alone. But now.....now you have me and I plan on finding every little last piece of you, and putting you back together."
"But you can't just stop being friends with Jacob because of me." He sighed again, pulling my hands away from his face and taking them in his own.
"Well, you know what? If he can't be accepting of you then, I don't want him as a friend." I stated simply and he shook his head.
"I can't let you do that." He said, his voice low. "I can't let you cut him out of your life like that. I mean, he's your best friend." I sighed, looking at him, to find a look of determination on his face. He wasn't going to let this go was he? "It's like you're giving up your life for me and I can't let you do that. It's not right."
"Oh, Edward, haven't you learned anything, love?" I stood up on my knees, looking him directly in the eye. "You are my life now."
And I pressed my lips to his, tenderly, savouring every moment with my love.
Whoo! Another chapter is up :)
There may be a possibility of having another chapter up before I leave tomorrow.
But if not then remember, that when I do get the chance to post again, it will be in adundance. Just because I can't post doesn't mean I won't be writing out the story as and when I can.
Please review. It will make Edward happy again :)
xxxx
