So this is probably my shortest chapter, but it is probably high up the list of my favorites... I don't really have an author's notes to give for this one, except that my beta is awesome as always.
This chapter is somewhat of a filler, but it gives a lot of insight into what Hermione is feeling.
Hermione Granger's world was falling apart and re-organizing itself while she sat by and watched. Everything she had ever known to be true was suddenly, somehow becoming a lie. Not even in her wildest dreams would she have been able to think up a plot as twisted as this. Those words… those words in those letters had been a bucket of ice cold water being thrown upon her sleeping form. All her studying, all her preparing, all she had worked for, nothing could change what had happened. For the first time since she learned that she was a witch, Hermione Jean Granger felt completely hopeless.
Look at me! I can get perfect marks on every assignment, I can battle Death Eaters, I can do what needs to be done, but… but this, this I am not strong enough for. My whole life has been a lie; who am I now? Am I Hermione Granger, or Hermione Something-the-fuck-else? I don't even know my name now!
Her tears spilled freely from her eyes; she hadn't the energy to hold them back. All she wanted was to rewind the clock; for someone to tell her it was all some sick joke.
She had so much she wanted to forget, so much that it was impossible to turn off her brain. First, there were her parents' deaths. Second, there was the Foote Crow woman from the Gryffindor Estate. Third, she was still, to her knowledge, in a massive fight with Harry. Forth, Ron was still… Ron. And, strangely, fifth, Draco Malfoy was treating her like a human being. He was treating her better than that in fact; he was almost treating her like a… friend. All these thought kept switching through her mind with the first two and, surprisingly, the last one at the forefront.
Why is Draco being so nice to me!? It doesn't make sense… yes, I defended him that other day and said he has actually changed since last year, but could he really have changed that much? It is possible, I suppose… He actually was very sweet to me. I'm surprised he was able to stand my crying; I doubt that neither Harry nor Ron would have been able to do that. Although… he might be used to hearing his mom cry. I can't imagine her being able to cope well knowing that her son killed her husband.
Ugh- Harry and Ron! I bet they are searching the castle for me by now! I wonder why I haven't heard them trying to break through the portrait hole by now… We are fighting, but they must be worried since I've missed an entire day of classes; I've never missed a class before! Being alone with her hyperactive and depressed thoughts was not helping Hermione in the least. With so many truths turning into lies, and lies into truths, in front of her very eyes, she began to question everything. Maybe… maybe they don't care anymore. They've probably just been using me this whole time and I've just been too stupid to notice. They hate me; they never take my side and always make sure their needs come before mine!
Now I'm always going to be alone; when everyone finds out that I'm a Gryffindor it'll be Harry and Ron times a thousand. I'll never be able to trust anyone ever again. I'm going to turn into the old cat lady! I love Crookshanks, but I don't want hundreds of him! Why is all of this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this? My parents aren't who I thought they were, I'm not who I thought I was, my best friends have been using me and were never really my friends, I'll never be able to trust anyone because of who I am, AND I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life!
From her dark pit of sorrow, Hermione heard the voice of an angel calling her back to the light.
"Hermione…" The angel was so close now. If he came any closer, she would be able to touch him. "Hermione, you need to wake up. It's just a dream. Open your eyes."
Her eyes opened to the light and to the silver eyes of her personal angel. "Hi…" He's beautiful. But, an angel shouldn't have that expression on his face. What is it? Terror? Fright? Concern?
"Are you alright? You were screaming bloody murder…" As she became more conscious, her angel's body transformed into Draco's. Everything, that is, except for the eyes. The silver eyes, the ones she had always known to be Draco's, were the eyes of her angel. She focused on his body. He looked as if he had been sleeping; his hair was messy and he was only wearing a pair of silky, green boxers. Sweat covered his muscled chest and his expression, it was concern, showed his worry for her. Concern? Is he concerned about ME!? He must be since nothing else would have drawn Draco, aka the Immaculately Dressed, out of his room as anything but.
"Did… did I sleep all day?" She clearly remembered lying down for a nap after lunch… but her thoughts of everything since then were beyond fuzzy.
"Yes, now can you please tell me if you're alright!?" He snapped at her. Apparently Draco Malfoy does not like to be woken up by screaming women.
"I- well if everything you knew to be true turned out to be a lie would you be alright!?" Why am I so fucking tired!? I slept all day for Merlin's sake!
Draco looked nervous, like he was trying to plan out what he was going to say. "What has turned out to be a lie?"
Shit! "I-I uhh…" What do I say now!? I can't tell him the truth; I don't trust him yet! -Yet!? Why did I say 'yet?' "I… I can't tell you…" His face shifted into a questioning expression. "I-I'm sorry, but I don't trust you enough to tell you that! Just try to forget what I said please."
"Okay." He nodded his head, apparently satisfied. She sighed in relief, having absolutely no clue that he already knew her secret. He stood from the bed and moved to the door before stopping and turning back to her. "Would you like me to stay again?" Her jaw hit the floor. He smirked. "You said you liked the nice me… don't be so surprised."
"I, well… you don't mind?" Hermione bit her bottom lip, praying he would stay with her; he kept the bad dreams away.
Pulling back the covers, he slid in beside her. "I wouldn't have offered if I wasn't willing." Snaking his arm around her shoulder, he placed her head on his chest. "Try to relax now, okay?"
She was already asleep, dreaming of the angel with Draco's eyes.
Yay more cute Draco! Leave me some love in the form of reviews please!
