DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS FROM TWILIGHT. THEY ALL BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER.
Whoo! Another chapter! I had a couple of hours free so I seized the chance to put up another chapter :D
BPOV
"Then what's the matter?" I asked, getting more and more worried by the moment as Charlie looked away from me, placing his hands on his hips and sighing.
"She wants you back, Bells."
"What?" I asked, dumbfounded. Did he just say what I think he'd said. "What did you just say?"
He took a deep breath. "Your Mom wants you back, honey." He sounded apologetic. I looked at his face and I saw that he wore an expression that showed that as well.
"Why?" I didn't trust myself to form a coherent sentence.
He shrugged. "I don't know. She phoned about half an hour ago." He looked at the phone, fleetingly. "I tried to get it out of her, but she said that it was none of my business and that she wanted you back."
"Well," I sat down on one of the chairs at the table, placing my keys on the table in front of me, trying to process what Charlie was telling me. "I won't go."
"It doesn't work that way Bells." He sighed, shaking his head at me. "She still has primary custody of you. You have to go."
I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. The traitorous tears. I didn't know whethe I was crying because I was upset or because I was angry. I think it might have been a possibilty that it was a mixture of both. I looked at the phone, stood up sharply, yanked it off the wall and rammed in Renee's number. I stood there and tapped my foot on the floor while I waited for her to answer.
"Hello?" I heard her greet on the other end of the phone.
"Mom?" I asked angrily. I knew it was her, so I don't know why I asked.
"Bella!" She sounded so happy to hear from me. If only she knew that I was calling to object to her decision. "Oh honey! I'm so glad you called back. I guess Charlie told you the good news."
"Yes," I said, dryly. "He told me the news."
"Honey, you're not excited." She sounded confused. "I would have thought that you would be ecstatic to move back to Phoenix."
"No, Mom, I'm not." I pinched the bridge of my nose between my thumb and forefinger. I looked at Charlie who gave me a pointed look, mimicking my gesture and I shushed him with a wave of my hand. "I want to stay in Forks."
"What?" She sounded shocked. "Why?"
"Because I do." I knew I sounded like a whiny child but I don't care. I needed to stay here. I had no idea what would happen if I left. To me or to Edward. "I want to stay here. I need to stay here, Mom." I began pacing around the kitchen and Charlie took that as his cue to leave. "I'm needed here." I added in a whisper.
"Oh yes," She sounded patronising now. "Charlie told me about the boy you're seeing. Oh Bella. You're not going to stay there for him. I mean, what happens when you go to college? You're going to go to different places and forget all about each other. It's inevitable."
"Edward and I aren't like that Mom." I told her. "I.....I love him, Mom." I whispered.
"Oh, Bella." She sighed. "You're young. It's inevitable that you're going to think that anyone you go out with is love. You'll move on. And so will he. Don't worry about that sweetheart. And," she added in what was supposed to be a flirtatious tone. "There are plenty of young boys around here that are bound to catch your eye."
"No, Mom." I stated. "There is only one person for me. It's only him."
"That's what you think now, but you'll think differently when you're here."
"No!" I stated. "I don't want to go back to Phoenix. I want to stay here!"
"Isabella!" My Mom tried to sound stern. "This is not up for discussion! You can have the summer in Forks, to say a goodbye to your friends but your flight to Phoenix is booked for the twenty-fourth of August. No arguments!"
I sighed angrily into the phone. I had tears streaming down my face now. "I hate you." I whispered and hung up. I didn't care that that was the last thing I had said to her. I wanted her to know that. It wasn't fair. I had decided to move to Forks to give her and Phil some space when they went on their honeymoon and now that she moves back to Phoenix for whatever reason, she wants me back. And she expects me to be happy about it.
I leaned back against the wall and slid down it, wrapping my arms around my knees as I sobbed. How was I going to tell everyone that I had to leave. What about the Cullens? Carlisle and Esme, Alice, Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie. And Edward.
My Edward.
How on earth was I going to tell him? I couldn't even dream of how he would react. He would be heartbroken. He would break down. He would relapse.
And it would be all my fault.
No. I thought angrily. Not my fault. Renee's fault. I wasn't going to call her "Mom" anymore. She was Renee. She didn't deserve for me to call her Mom.
I got up and grabbed my keys from where I'd placed them on the table and was out the door before Charlie could even realise what was happening. I had to get to the Cullens. I had to see Edward. But could I tell him what was wrong? He would know instantly that there was something the matter, but did I have it in me to tell him?
I ran out to my truck, not caring if I tripped and rammed the key into the ignition. I drove as fast as I could in my beat up old truck, silently cursing the fact that it wouldn't go any faster. I just wanted to get to Edward. I was almost in hysterics when pulled up the familiar drive and turned off the ignition. I sat in the cab of my truck for a few minutes, trying to level out my breathing. I couldn't go in there like this. If I did then they would all know that there was something extremely wrong. But then again, they were all so goddamn perceptive nowadays that they would probably be able to tell anyway.
After thinking that I had been sat in my truck for too long I slowly climbed out. There was no doubt that they knew I was back. With the racket my truck made, how could you not hear it coming a mile away. After placing my key in the lock I let myself in slowly, closing the door quietly behind me.
I had removed my shoes and was taking off my jacket when Esme popped her head around the corner, smiling widely at me. Her smile dropped when she saw the expression on my face and her expression became one of concern. "Bella dear," she said, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Is everything okay?"
"Where's Edward?" I whispered.
"He's asleep sweetheart." She answered in a low voice. "He went up to his room just after you left and I'm guessing he fell asleep a little while afterwards. Did you want me to wake him?"
I shook my head vigorously. "No." I gasped. "I need to tell you guys something. I think it would be better for me to tell the rest of the family before Edward finds out. I don't know why, maybe....it'll help him deal with what I have to say. I doubt it'll help but.....I just....."
"Sssh," Esme pulled me into a hug and ran a hand down the back of my head, smoothing down my hair softly. "It's okay sweetheart. It's okay." She continued to smooth down my hair soothingly as I sobbed into her shoulder. "Now," She pulled back slightly, pulling a packet of tissues out of a jacket pocket that I realised must have been Carlisle's and handed me one, taking another one out and wiping away my tears. "Let's go into the living room. Everyone but Edward is in there so you can tell us what you need to." I nodded and she wrapped an arm around my shoulder and we walked slowly into the living room.
"Bellsie!" Emmett cried upon seeing me.
"Sssh!" Esme hushed him and his face fell when he saw that I had been crying. The others turned to look at me and their faces turned to concern when they all saw my expression. Esme led me towards the sofa and we sat down.
"Bella," Rosalie whispered. "What happened? What's wrong?"
"I'll go get Edward," Alice said softly, starting to get up.
"No!" I said a little loudly, shaking my head. "I think that....I think, you all need to hear this before Edward does." She sat back down and the others all turned to face me. Carlisle walked into the kitchen a grave look on his face. He knew that something was wrong even before I had said anything.
"What's wrong Bella?" Jasper asked in a whisper, though you could hear the tension and worry coming through. I could feel it coming off of the whole family in waves. They must have known that this was something huge. Something that would affect them and something that would affect Edward in some way. And that worried them greatly. I hated being the source of any worry, but this time, there was no way to avoid it.
I took a deep breath and looked around at them all. "Charlie got a call from my mom today. That's why I left earlier." They all nodded. "When....when I got home, he told me that, um, that....." I trailed off, not being able to continue. I knew that I had to. That I had to tell them. They deserved to know. They needed to know. "She wants me back." I whispered and I heard a collective gasp come from all of them. I looked at them all and I saw expressions showing varying degrees of anguish on their faces. Emmett and Jasper had masks of anger on their faces. They were trying not to blow up, that much I could see, and they were having a tough time with it as well. Rose and Alice's hands had both flown to their mouths when they gasped. I saw that they both had tears in their eyes, tears that they were trying very hard to keep back.
I looked back at Esme and Carlisle and they both looked as though someone had taken their only child from them. They were devastated. That's the only way I could describe the expressions on their faces.
"When?" Alice gasped out. "Where? Why?" She was beginning to sob now and I moved over to where she was sat and I wrapped my arms around her, my sobs coming in time with hers as I buried my head in her shoulder. I don't know how long we stayed like that but when we broke apart Rosalie and Esme both had tears streaming down their cheeks and Jasper, Emmett and Carlisle were close. I looked around at the people I considered my family and broke down again. My head dropped to my hands and I sobbed, trying not to be too loud as I didn't want to alert Edward to what was happening. I wanted to be a lot calmer when I told him. I had to be calmer.
When I calmed down I wiped my eyes with the tissues that Esme had constantly been handing me.
"Bella, dear." Esme said, her sobs reducing in size to silent tears that streaked her perfect face, ruining her makeup. "Do you know why" I shook my head, not trusting myself to form words. "Where is she now?"
"Phoenix." I replied and more tears made their way to the surface. I wondered how I still had tears to cry. I thought that I would have been all cried out by now, but obviously I was wrong because more and more kept on coming.
"Phoenix?" Jasper whispered disbelieving.
"So far." Rosalie breathed, staring off into space, not seeming to be taking anything in. Like Esme and Alice her gorgeous face and perfect makeup had been ruined by the tear tracks that ran down her face.
"Do you have to go?" Emmett asked in a low voice, which was very uncharacteristic of him. I looked at him and noticed that he had one eye on the stairs, just in case Edward made an appearance. He knew that I wanted to tell Edward on his own, and I didn't want him to find out any other way.
"Yeah." I whispered, fiddling with the tissue in my hands.
"This is so fucked up." Jasper hissed, his hands balling into fists in his lap.
"Jasper! Language!" Carlisle scolded him. Even though he was upset, Carlisle was still able to maintain the air of authority in the house.
"Sorry." Jasper mumbled, looking down at his hands, which were still fists in front of him. He was trying hard to keep himself under control, but like Emmett, he was finding it very hard to do so. They knew what would happen to Edward when he found out.
Edward would most probably revert to his old ways and habits. No matter how much the family tried to be there and understand for him, they just couldn't. He would return to starving himself. He would hide and throw up his food again. He would return to one of the only ways he knew how to get rid of pain immediately, if only temporarily. He would cut, adding to the scars that he already bore. Everything he had worked for over the last eight months would disappear. All of the therapy he had been through. All the tears that had been shed. All the revelations and confessions that had been made. The bearing of secrets. None of that would hold any purpose for him anymore. He would become who he was when I first met him. The lonely, depressed boy that no one really understood or wanted to get to know. But he wouldn't have anyone who was able to save him this time. I wouldn't be able to help him overcome his problems and help him onto the path that would save him this time. I would be in Phoenix, walking my own path of despair and depression, because I knew that that was all that I could look forward to in Phoenix. Lonliness and heartache. I wouldn't be home in Phoenix. It didn't matter where I was in the world, if I was with Edward, I was home. And I knew that on some level, it was the same for Edward. I knew that now. I had saved him as much as he had saved me.
We needed each other.
So many people told us both that we were like two halves of a whole. How we seemed to slot together like two puzzle pieces. That we were perfectly matched together. At first I had not believed what people were saying, but after seeing photpgraphs that people had taken, I began to see what they meant. The way that we were in each others arms. The way each curve and contour of our bodies moulded to accomodate the others. For a lot of people, they had to move their bodies to fit neatly with their partners, but I knew from my time with Edward and from seeing the pictures I had taken with him that there was no effort on either side. It was so natural. We just fit.
And I was going to have to give it up, because Renee decided that she wants me to go and live with her. She wouldn't listen to me when I told her that I wanted to stay here. She always thought that she knew what was best for me, but I knew better, even if she didn't want to admit it. To her, I was the child now. End of story. It didn't matter that I was always the one who had to look after her. The one who would have to sort out her mishaps and endure each week as her hobbies changed. And she has the nerve to treat me like a child.
I stood up slowly and made my way over to the stairs. I walked at a pace that, if seen on television, people would have noted it as slow motion and probably thought that their set was broken. I stopped at the bottom of the stairs and looked at the Cullens. My family. They were my family. They had shown me more love and care than anyone else in the world had ever done. They all shot me small smiles and nodded slightly, giving me the go-ahead and the reassurance of telling Edward.
I needed to tell him. I needed to be brave. I didn't know how he was going to take this, so I had to be prepared for anything. For any reaction.
As I approached his door, I felt myself shaking. I needed to calm myself before I spoke to him. He would know that something was wrong. He always did. But I would not give him to opportunity to know before I've even walked through his door.
Opening the door, I saw him curled up in a fetal position on his bed. His face was so serene and peacful. I didn't want to wake him. It hurt to have to think of this beautiful, peacful face in any kind of pain at all. I wanted to hope that he would be okay, but in my heart I knew better. It had taken a lot of people a lot of time to make me realise that he did need me. And I needed him. He was my other half and soon I was going to be over sixteen hundred miles away from him.
I walked over to the side of his bed and crumpled on the floor. I wanted to cry, more than I had downstairs, but I knew that I couldn't. If I started now and he woke up, he would instantly know that something was really really wrong, and would get himself worked up over it. I couldn't do that. I couldn't have him worry or stress out more than he had to. I would hold it together for him.
I hated Renee. She knew that I was happy here now. She realised that it was because of Edward. But she didn't know how much I was in love with him. You would have thought that with her relationship with Phil, she would understand. But obviously she didn't. There was no way that she could understand. What I feel for Edward, it's ...... undescribable. When I kiss him, it's like I've slipped in and out of heaven. There is no other way to describe it. The only way I feel whole is to have him there, close to me, my skin touching him. I yearned for it.
I yearned for him.
And he was mine.
He began to stir and I couldn't help but smile. He looked so innocent and pure. So childlike. There was no evidence of the things he had been through, of the thoughts travelled through his head for most of the day, of the internal struggle that he had to live everyday.
Opening his eyes, he smiled at me sleepily and I grinned back at him.
"Now that's a nice way to wake up." He mumbled, reaching out and pulling me onto the bed next to him.
I settled my head on his chest and sighed, closing my eyes, listening to his heartbeat. Ah, that beautiful heartbeat. It had a slight murmur, but that was probably a result of the heart attack he had suffered. I smiled to myself as I listened. "Good nap?" I asked him and he chuckled slightly.
"Yeah," He sighed as he began running his fingers through my hair. "It was actually. What did Charlie want?"
I sighed and sat up, looking him in the eye. I clasped my hand in his and began rubbing small circles on the back of his hand with my thumb. "I need to talk to you about that." His brow furrowed in confusion.
"What's wrong, Bella?" Shit. He knew that there was something wrong. This boy is too perceptive for his own good. He was always so in tune with how I was feeling. Normally, I loved the fact that someone knew me so much, to the point where they knew something was wrong the instant they walked in the room. But at the moment, I wished that he wasn't. If he wasn't then I may have been able to drag this out for a little longer, but I couldn't. I couldn't lie to him. It would only hurt him more when he found out the truth. I love him too much to hurt him more than I was about to.
I sighed and looked him straight in the eye. "Renee called." I breathed.
"Is everything okay?" He asked, his voice full of concern. I shook my head as I felt the traitorous tears welling up in my eyes. I looked down at our intertwined hands. They fit so well so together. Like they themselves were made for each other. Looking at them, I saw they matched perfectly. Pale and slender. Made for each other. "Love, what's wrong? It can't be that bad." He placed his free hand on my cheek and lifted my face up so I had to look at him. "Tell me. Maybe I can help." He whispered.
I shook my head again. "You can't." I whispered softly, just loud enough to hear.
"What's wrong?" He sounded really worried now. I could see the conern in his eyes and etched in his expression.
I sighed deeply, blinking a couple of times before looking at him. I couldn't bring myself to speak out loud so I settled for a whisper knowing that he would be able to hear me at such a close proximity.
"She wants me back."
Carpe diem. As they say.
Don't hate me, but I don't know when I'll be able to get another chapter up. There may be a very good chance that you have to wait until Sunday for another update. I will try to get another one up before then, but I can't make any promises.
Bit of angst in there, but hey, like isn't all smiles.
Some people have been requesting it and I can tell you that next chapter is back to Edward. It just felt right to have these couple from Bella's POV.
Reviews please :D You know how I love them
xxx
