DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS FROM TWILIGHT. THEY ALL BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER.
EPOV
I woke up the next morning in my own bed and realised that Bella wasn't with me. I was confused as I could have sworn that I fell asleep on the sofa downstairs just after Chris left. And that I was with Bella. So how did I get up here? And where did Bella go? It had been a while since I had woken up and she wasn't there. I felt alone. More so than I had recently. Because she was always there. I knew that I had to learn to live without her, but I didn't want to do that yet. I wanted to savour every moment I had with her.
My mind flicked back to the session yesterday. I had told my family more than I had previously wanted to. I had let them all know exactly how I was feeling, especially after my siblings had "defended" me against Jacob. Well, that was what they had done. They hadn't realised that in doing so they were humiliating me. How could they know they were making me feel that way? I hadn't told them. I had turned to the only defence mechanism I knew. To withdraw and not talk about my problems. Chris had told me in previous sessions that I would need to learn to fight that instinct, as withdrawing in on myself would only cause me to go backwards.
Nothing had been said about my refusing to eat. Something that I was grateful for, as I knew that it would have repercussions if that came out. Repercussions I didn't know if I could deal with.
Thankfully, Chris hadn't seemed upset about the fact that Bella and I were engaged. On the contrary, he seemed happy. Normally, those in my stage of recovery were discouraged from having relationships, from starting them and were encouraged to put a relationship on hold if they were in them. Something about needing to focus on themselves rather than having to focus on maintaining a relationship at the same time. My only conclusion about Chris's behaviour was that he had heard about how Bella had helped me in the clinic. He had seen that she was my rock and that I needed her, for much more than my recovery.
As I was milling over this the bathroom door opened and I looked up to see Bella standing there smiling at me. I instanstly felt better.
"Morning," She said softly, walking over to me and sitting down on the edge of the bed.
"Morning," I whispered.
"How are you feeling?" She asked, taking my hand in hers as I rolled over to face her.
"Confused, mostly." A perplexed look came over her face. "How did I get up here? I could have sworn I fell asleep downstairs."
She grinned at me. She had probably thought that there was something wrong with me. "Emmett carried you up here after you fell asleep." I felt my mouth making a small "oh" shape. "You didn't really think that we were going to let you sleep downstairs did you?" I shrugged and she smiled at me, shaking her head. "Of course not silly." She leaned over and kissed my temple lightly.
"What time is it?" I asked, leaning around to try and see my clock.
"It's, um," She looked at her watch briefly. "8:23AM."
"Shouldn't you be getting ready for school?" I asked raising my eyebrows. She opened her mouth to begin to protest but I stopped her. "Ah. You promised." Her face fell at that, realising that, yes, I did remember the conversation that we had had yesterday before the others got home. "You thought I'd forgotten." She smiled a sly smile at me from underneath her hair and nodded. "Well, I haven't." I twisted myself around so that I was looking up and her directly, she grinned at me and I couldn't help but smile back before I felt my face getting serious. "Seriously you can't miss anymore time off school. You need to go in. You have three weeks left, if that, and that's mostly exams and stuff isn't it." She didn't answer. "Look, you've got to go in. If you don't....I won't kiss you the summer." Her mouth fell open and her eyes narrowed.
"You wouldn't dare."
"Wouldn't I?" I sat up, a smug smile on her face. I had found my leverage. "You forget, I have practise at denying myself what I want and need. And I doubt you have the same restraint." Her face fell even more as she realised that I could very well be serious. She didn't know I was bluffing, but hell, I have one hell of a good poker face.
"Alright." She gave in, just as I knew would. "Can I have a kiss now?" She added in a small voice.
"Only, if you promise that you will go in to school everyday until the summer." I pointed a finger at her and raised my eyebrows at her, expectantly.
"Fine." She huffed. "I'll go in. But I would much rather spend the time with you."
"I know, I want to spend the time with you as well, but your education is important." I pressed, rubbing small circles into the back of her hand. She sighed and clutched my hand with hers. "You have to go in. You can't give up everything for me."
"I don't deserve you." She whispered, not looking at me. "You've come so far. You're so strong and I just feel that....."
"What?"
"That some day soon you're going to realise that you don't need me anymore." She whispered. I could hear the pain coming through in that whisper. "I feel that, you're going to get better and find someone else who's prettier, more intelligent and funnier than I am, and then you're going to move on."
"Hey," I said sternly, placing a finger underneath her chin and forcing her to look at me. I could see that there were tears in her eyes. I could see that she really believed that I was going to leave her at the first chance I got. I wanted to make sure that there was no way she could ever think that again. "I love you, Bella. I will always need you. To me there is no one better than you. You are the most beautiful, smartest, funniest - well maybe aside from Emmett who's just a walking joke - " I got a small sob like laugh out of her with that one and I smiled slightly. "You really think that I'm going to use you to get better and then toss you aside?" I didn't get an answer, which spoke volumes to me. "There is no way that I could physically leave you even if the time ever came that I would ever want to. I need you Bella. More than anything in the world. I've proven that I can go days without food and drink, but....when I'm not with you, it's like....I ache all over. Like this morning, when I woke up and you weren't there, it felt wrong. I want to wake up with you every morning. Forever. And there's nothing that anyone can do or say that is going to make me change my mind." I took her hand in mine, and kissed each of her knuckles gently. "I love you, Isabella Marie Swan. Forever and always."
"As I love you Edward." She sniffed.
"Where did this come from?" I asked her, tucking her hair behind her ear.
"I don't know." She sniffed and I gave her a tissue. She smiled at me gratefully before she wiped the tears from her eyes and nose. "I guess....I guess it's the fact that you're getting better. And I just didn't know what would happen....especially seeing as I have to leave." Tears began to well up in her eyes again and I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her close to me. "I mean, you are gorgeous." I scoffed at her. "No. Edward you are. I know you don't see it, and I sure as hell don't see why you don't. Most guys who even remotely as good looking as you are players and....I don't know." She looked up at me and smiled. "You. Are. Beautiful." I smiled at her, my non-belief shining through. She huffed knowing that I wasn't going to be believing her anytime soon. "I don't know. Maybe it's just the fear that when I'm away, you're going to find someone better for you and call everything off."
"What? Call of the engagement?" I looked at her, my mouth open and she nodded. "There is no way that will be happening. There is no one out there who is better for me than you. You're....you're like the other half of me Bella. I just don't function without you."
"I feel the same way." She sniffed.
"Then what are you worried about?" I asked as she sat up and looked at me. I took her left hand in mine and ran my thumb over the ring that rested on her third finger. "This." I brought her hand up my my mouth and kissed the ring softly. "Is forever." She gave me a small smile and leaned in to kiss me.
The kiss we shared then had nothing rushed or impatient about it. It was the softest, tenderest kiss. It was filled with love and passion. It was sweet and drawn-out. It was these kind of kisses that blew me away. Yes, every kiss with Bella was phenomenal, but these kisses were the ones that I savoured, the ones that I waited for, that I longed for. It was these kind of kisses that I wanted to share with Bella for the rest of forever. Of course we didn't have forever, but oh, how I wished we could. Her lips moved softly against mine, as if they were made for mine and no others. I knew that no other kisses from anyone else, would ever compare to Bella's. And I didn't plan on sharing a kiss with anyone else. In that kiss, the rest of the world seemed to melt away. There were no others. No schools. No work. Nothing else existed. We were in our own little bubble.
And I didn't want to leave that bubble.
Of course we had to though. As we grudgingly ended the kiss, I rested my forehead against hers. We were both breathing a little harder, due to lack of air, but I didn't care. All I knew was that I had the most beautiful girl in the world. She was sitting on my bed, she had my ring on her finger. I knew it was wrong to claim possession of people. But she was mine. As I was hers.
My Bella.
"I guess I better get going." I nodded and she kisses me softly again before she got up, grabbed her bag and walked out of my room.
I flopped back on my bed and sighed. I knew that she had to leave. That she needed her education. I had been loathe to let her go, even though I knew that she had to. And especially after that kiss I wanted nothing more than to hold her close to me and never let her go again. But if I thought that letting her go to school was painful. That spending eight hours away from her, when I knew when she was coming back and when I was going to see her again, how the hell was I going to cope when she left for Phoenix.
I had a thought then. Maybe I could call Renee, and find out exactly what Jacob had said about me. I wouldn't tell her who it was calling. I would tell her that I was Emmett or something and say that I was worried about me. I didn't know. I'd work it out.
Was I brave enough to call Renee?
Did I want to keep Bella?
The answer to that question was definitely yes, so I resolved that I would at least try to get Renee to tell me what she knew, and why she wanted Bella back in Phoenix. Maybe there was also a chance that I could get Renee to allow Bella to stay. It was a long shot, but it was worth a try, right?
I rolled out of bed and made my way downstairs to get myself some breakfast, before Carlisle or Esme came up and bugged me about it, all the while milling over everything in my mind.
BPOV
School that day was a complete bore and a blur. I could understand why Edward wanted me to go to school. But it didn't mean that I was happy about having to leave him. I hated leaving him alone. My body ached for him when I wasn't with him. Even if I knew that he was in the next room or on the opposite side of a door or something, my body yearned for him, in a way that I had never felt before.
It was like he was the other half to me, the piece that made me whole and when he wasn't there, it was as though there was a piece missing.
I couldn't help my mind flicking back to that kiss we shared in his room this morning. It was incredible. I lived for kisses like those. Those were the kisses that I waited for, that I longed for. They were the kisses that I poured my heart and soul into, and I could tell that he was the same. It was incredible.
How was I going to live without those kisses?
I really didn't know.
After school finished, I told the Cullens that I had to go home. I told them that Charlie wanted to spend some time with me.
That wasn't what I was doing. Yes, I was going to see Charlie. I needed him for support while I went against everything that I felt was right.
I was going to see Jacob.
I wanted this cleared up completely. I wanted to know what his problem was. I wanted to know what his problem with Edward was. Yes, I got the overprotective best friend routine, but honestly, there were boundaries. Phoning up someone's mother and convincing them to have your best friend move back over a thousand miles because you didn't like her boyf- fiance, I corrected myself. It was going to take a long time to get used to that. Then, attacking said fiance when he was on his own. Those things were definitely over the boundaries of the overprotective best friend routine.
"Charlie?" I called as I walked into the house. His cruiser was outside so I knew that he was home.
"In here Bells." He called from the sitting room. Of course he was in there. I knew exactly what he would look like as well. He would be sat there, in his favourite armchair, beer in one hand, remote in the other watching some form of sports. I dumped my bag and coat in the hallway and walked into the sitting room. Yup, I was right. He was sat there the way I had visioned he would be.
I knew that before I asked him to help me with Jacob, I had to tell him about Edward and I being engaged, because I knew that that was definitely something that was going to come up.
"Dad, can I talk to you?" I asked, tentatively and his face snapped up to meet my gaze. I could tell what was going to through his mind. He probably thought that I was going to tell him that I was pregnant. Well, not yet. I added in my mind, smiling internly. I bit my lip as he looked at me before turning off the TV.
"Sure Bells," He sat forward in his chair as I sat cautiously on the sofa. "What's up?"
"I have something that I need to tell you." He tensed up, his fingers creating dents in the beer can that he was holding.
"Is it to do with Edward?" He asked through a clenched jaw. I nodded tentatively. "That boy! Has he- Are you-?"
"No, Dad." I sighed. "I'm not pregnant." I saw him visibly relax. It was true that my Dad liked Edward. He thought that he was as strong as I did and had openly admitted to me that he admired him for finally facing his problems and getting help. Not that he had a choice but still. He had told me that he thought Edward was strong and deserved the best in life after what he had been through. "Would it be so bad if I was. I mean, you've told me you like Edward."
"Well...." He stammered. "Yes, I like Edward, but I guess, what with the two of you being so young....and I-I-I'd want you to do it properly anyway."
"Properly?"
"W-Well, I'd like to think that-that-that he would be a gentleman and y-y-you know, um, uh, um," He stammered, which caused me to smile.
"Marry me first?" I raised my eyebrows at him and he nodded. "Well, that's kind of what I needed to tell you." I looked up at him again and he looked at me confused. "He did." Charlie's eyes grew wide. "And I said yes." I thought that his eyes were going to pop out of his head.
"Are you serious?" He managed to choke out. I nodded. "When?"
"Monday." I said in a small voice.
"Um.....well ummmm....." I could tell that his brain was on overload. It could have been worse I guess. He could have been shouting and screaming at me. Telling me that I was stupid. "Can I see it?" He meant the ring and I stood up and walked over to him, holding out my hand. He took my hand and looked at the ring. He let out a low whistle when he saw it. I knew that he was impressed with it and I smiled. "It's beautiful, Bells."
"Are you feeling okay?" I asked, placing a hand to his forehead, jokingly.
"Yes," He swatted my hand away.
"Are you sure? I was kind of expecting you to blow up at me. You know, tell me that I'm being stupid and that I'm too young and all that stuff." I sat back down on the sofa.
"Honestly. Yeah, you are young. But...." He took a deep breath as if weighing up what he was going to say. "I've seen how you and Edward are together. You two just....fit...." He made some weird gesture with his hands that I didn't want to ask about. "I know that you're not going to want anyone else Bells. Even though I do think that you're too young, I know that that boy, is the only one that is going to be able to make you happy."
"You're not worried that we're going to turn out like you and Renee?" I asked and he shook his head, slowly.
"No. Yes, I loved your mother, but I can see that it was nothing compared to how you and Edward feel about each other. I mean, you can feel the love radiating off of the two of you."
I smiled at him and launched myself off of the sofa, wrapping my arms around him. "Thank you Daddy!" He chuckled and tentatively put his arms around me.
This was incredible. I had managed to get Charlie to sit down and have a conversationt that lasted more than thirty seconds and I had just managed to tell him that Edward and I were engaged without sustaining any injuries. I resolved to ask him to help me with Jacob today.
"Where is Edward anyway?" He asked as I sat down on the sofa again. "Isn't it customary for the man to be present while telling the father of his fiancee that he's marrying his daughter?" I thought for a moment, while I tried to make sense of that in my head.
"Well, I came straight from school." I took a deep breath. "I wanted to ask you something else as well." He raised his eyebrows at me, expectantly. "I need to get all of this stuff with Jacob sorted, and now. Did you know that he attacked Edward on the beach the other day?" Charlie shook his head, a shocked expression on his face. He hadn't seen Billy and therefore hadn't seen Jacob since the weekend and the Cullens didn't want to make a fuss. Or at least Edward didn't. The rest of the family, were all up for showing the towns what kind of person Jacob really was. I quickly explained to Charlie what had happened at the beach, and the repercussions that it had had for Edward and the rest of the family. He told me that he would help me and we quickly left for La Push.
I knew that it would hurt my dad to be hurting Jacob, as it would hurt Billy in the proccess. But I knew that Charlie's innate sense of right and wrong would win out in this fight. He knew that it was wrong of Jacob to attack Edward in the manner that he had, and there was no way that he was going to stand for it. I knew that it wasn't just because Edward was my fiance that he felt this. He would have felt the same way about anyone. No one deserves to be attacked when they hadn't done anything wrong.
We took the cruiser and the ride was quicker than it would have been in my truck. We spent the journey in silence, which was fine by me as I wanted to sit and mull over what I was going to say to Jacob. I knew that if I didn't get something straight in my head I would just scream at him until my throat was sore, knowing that it wouldn't do any good whatsoever.
We pulled up outside the Black's house and saw that there were two motorcycles there. I knew them to belong to Sam and Embry, two of the guys that lived down here in La Push with Jacob. Why Embry was still hanging with Jacob, I didn't know. He knew what Jacob had done to Edward and the real reasons behind him phoning my mother.
We walked up to the front door and Charlie knocked. After a moment, Billy opened the door, looking slightly strained. His face brightened momentarily at seeing us standing there, before it darkened again when he saw the expressions on our faces.
"Come on in, you two." He said, wheeling himself back to make room for us to make our way past.
"Where's Jacob?" I asked coldly.
"He's out back with Sam and Embry." Billy rubbed a hand over his forehead, dragging it down his face to finish at his chin. "Listen, Bella, he's got Sam and Embry on his case about what happened at the beach right now. Go easy on him. Please."
I shook my head. "Sorry, Billy. I can't do that."
"What exactly has he done to warrant this?" He asked, looking between Charlie and myself.
"Will you explain?" I asked Charlie and he nodded.
"Sure thing, kid." I smiled at him and heard he and Billy start to make their way into the Blacks' front room, as Charlie began to tell Billy what had happened.
I stalked outside, knowing exactly where they would all be. I didn't really need my dad so much now that I knew that Sam and Embry were on Jacob's case as well. I could leave Charlie to explain everything to Billy. I heard raised voices coming from Jacob's shed and I made my way towards it, the voices becoming clearer as I approached.
"You know what, you guys!" I heard Jacob shouting. "I really don't give a shit! He can go and fucking starve if he wants to! In fact, I wish he would!"
"Is that so?" I asked, walking into their line of sight and crossing my arms over my chest, staring him down. "Is that what you really think Jacob?"
Because if it was, there was going to be no way I was going to let up.
He was going to pay.
I don't want to sound like I'm being whiny or anything, but I'm getting a bit discouraged due to the lack of reviews. I mean, that is why I'm writing this story. For you guys and the lack of responses that I've been getting for the last few chapters. It's a bit discouraging. Don't get me wrong I am completely blown away by the amount of reviews that I have for this story, and I never thought that I would get such a repsonse to either of my stories but I feel that they're dwindling a bit. A lack of reviews and responses means that I don't know if you guys like it, if you hate it, in what way you think I can improve it. And all it does is make me feel like people are getting bored or aren't liking the story so much. Even if it's just an "update soon" or something like that, it means that I know people are enjoying the story.
Sorry to sound whiny, but I'm sure that fellow authors out there know what I mean.
Please review.
xx
