Bits of this were inspired by the name of an MSG (Michael Schenker Group) song. Let's see who can figure out what song it is :) I have issued a challenge.
Same disclaimer as always, you already know it. Go to the last chapter and all of the same things apply.
And for those of you that were upset at the lack of details in the last chapter, there will be more details of the period of inebriation in this one.
"Where're Ryuzaki and Light-kun and Misa-Misa?"
"Bathroom," Katherine replied to Matsuda vaguely, looking through her tenth list of Kira suspects. "I believe Misa followed Light, and Ryuzaki was feeling a tad bit ill."
"I wonder why…" Aizawa said sarcastically.
Matsuda nervously gulped at Aizawa's comment, but Katherine grinned to herself. Even so, despite how amusing the inebriation period itself had been, this bit of the revenge made her feel bad. She could remember what her first hangover had been like. Lots of migraines, sensitivity to bright light, absolute anger at sounds that were normally only slightly irritating, mood swings, and, of course, lots and lots of retching. She wasn't sure if the nausea or the migraine was worse. It had been quite a while since L had practically dragged Light down the hall and into the bathroom. So, it was only a few minutes later that Light was practically dragging him back out into the main investigation room, Misa following Light closely. L walked with a little bit more of a slump than usual, and rather than sit on the couch in his usual manner, he fell over onto it with a very pained expression on his face, grumbling something that sounded quite a bit like "never drinking coffee again…." Well, after her own first hangover, Katherine had decided not to drink some things ever again, but coffee hadn't been on the list. A few coffee-like beverages, maybe, but not coffee itself.
Despite his previous attitude of accusation, even Aizawa looked slightly amused. The only person who didn't look very amused was Light, who looked slightly nauseated himself now as he sat on the floor, since there was no more room on the couch. Seeing as the chain on the handcuffs wasn't long enough to reach outside of the bathroom and L insisted upon leaving it on as often as possible, Light had likely witnessed L's own nausea taking its toll on him, which probably made him a little queasy. That was perfectly normal for a lot of people, after all. Light looked over to see the rest of the team exchanging looks of amused suspicion.
"Ah… Ryuzaki's not feeling too great, so he's not going to be doing much work today."
"Misa has never seen anyone have this bad of a hangover," Misa said wonderingly.
Ah, ignorance could indeed be bliss. Misa seemed to be completely oblivious to the fact that everyone in the room was attempting to avoid mentioning that what Ryuzaki was experiencing was, in fact, a hangover. Of course, they had been avoiding mentioning it to avoid any questions about it, such as the most inevitable of them, which Aizawa decided to ask first after the laughter ceased.
"Yeah," he said, "but how exactly does that happen without any kind of alcohol?" He looked at Matsuda, who went immediately from amused to terrified. "I think that someone here probably knows."
"I think he spiked his own coffee without anyone knowing it," Katherine interjected.
If he could have spoken without the little axemen in his head attempting to chop their way out through his eyeballs, L would have told her to shut the hell up. Especially since her commentary evoked a giggle of amusement from Misa, the very sound that happened to be the number one leading cause of eardrum bleeding, glass shattering, and the rioting of miniature axemen in peoples' heads. With a noise of frustration blended with pain, he covered his ears with his hands. He wasn't sure if he had ever before been in this much pain in his entire life. He had never even known those godforsaken axemen existed within the boundaries of his skull until this morning. It was absolute agony.
After an explanation of what had really happened ("Well, you see, he did spike his own coffee, he just didn't know it at the time…") and the reasoning behind it ("I'm pretty sure everyone can guess why I did this, and you should all take it as a warning not to fuck around with me."), everyone worked on the Kira case in dead silence. Despite the occasional need to ask questions, everyone kept to themselves for fear of being killed by the hung-over and obviously irritable detective. The one good thing it had done was it had given him a good night of actual sleep, and it appeared that he was probably going to fall asleep again.
L, who had taken his hands off of his ears, listened vaguely to her explanation. He refrained from scoffing at her reasoning. Sure, it had been wrong of him to make her live with Misa Amane. However, no torture could have been worse than that of a "hangover," not even being forced into the role of Misa's own personal mannequin. She could talk when she had mad axemen attempting to hack their way through her skull….
"But it was funny when he fell over…" Misa said reasonably.
"And when he forgot Light's name," Katherine agreed.
"No it wasn–!" L started to sit up, but fell back down. "Ow…" he said sheepishly, covering his head with his arms. He flinched at the sound of Misa's most sympathetic tones.
"Poor Ryuzaki-san…. Misa told Kat-chan it was mean!"
"Isn't there something we could give him?" Matsuda said.
"Aside from prescription strength pain killers and more alcohol to wash them down with, no," Katherine said. "I doubt caffeine would help the headache, but seeing as he never wants to drink coffee again, that's not a problem."
"I think this is probably the cruelest joke I've ever seen played on anyone…" Aizawa said quietly.
"No," Misa said, "Kat-chan can be really evil when it comes to playing jokes. When Misa and Kat-chan's science class was going to dissect frogs, Kat-chan protested by hiding frog legs in the teacher's salad. And Misa doesn't mean the cooked kind of frog legs," she added, shaking her head.
"That's… disgusting."
"That was absolutely awesome." Katherine laughed. "I'd forgotten about that. The whole class got A's on the project and we didn't even have to cut any poor little frogs open. Of course, I got detention for the next month aside from the A, but that wasn't that big of a deal."
After that, everyone basically remained quiet. They were all still very afraid that their detective friend might turn homicidal if they continued being loud around him. Of course, he did give off the impression of being in far too much pain to be able to kill anyone himself. He was fairly incapable of doing anything. He probably couldn't sit up, he definitely couldn't work, and there was a slight chance he wouldn't be able to make it to the bathroom if he got sick again (although everyone really hoped he was capable of at least that). He was indeed a very pitiful being at the moment, and he probably felt as such.
Katherine couldn't help but wonder if he remembered the previous night. Aside from swearing far more than usual, he had indeed forgotten Light's name and begun referring to him as Kira-kun. After attempting to stand up a few times, he ended up hitting his knee on the table in front of him, then telling "Kira-kun" to kill said table. He had also asked a few inappropriate questions to a few members of the team, mainly Light and Matsuda, since he seemed to find embarrassing them hilarious.
Try as he may, L really couldn't remember anything after the second time he had attempted to stand up. He couldn't even remember what had made him try to do such a stupid thing. He did remember that after that, everything became a lot blurrier and a bit more amusing. He wasn't sure what about the memory… or, at least, attempted memory… was amusing, but it did give off some vague feeling that there had been laughter involved. Naturally there was embarrassment; he had been drunk, after all. Even the word itself was completely unappealing. And its synonyms were just as bad. Drunk, inebriated, intoxicated, blitzed, sloshed, tipsy; it didn't matter what it was. They all sounded horrible. Not quite as bad as Misa's laughter – for which he would have strangled her if he could have moved his arms – but definitely worse than a car horn.
He attempted to open his eyes now. The light in the hotel room seemed brighter than usual. If fact, it seemed dazzlingly bright. Florescent, even. No, worse than that, it was blinding… and it burned. Subconsciously uttering a noise of pain, he closed his eyes tightly, grumbling a list of random swears under his breath as he did so. He crossed his arms over his eyelids and his forehead to block out even the dull, red glow of the back of his eyelids from the little bit of light that could penetrate them whilst they were closed. He fealt his head pressurize even more and throb harder yet in pain. It was ruthless, unrelenting torture like he had never experienced in his life.
And so he decided, Christianity was full of shit with its description of a fiery pit of doom – this had to be hell. No worse torture than this could be real on any plane of existence. Alcoholic beverages were the drinks of Satan and he planned to never go near another one again in his life for fear of being pulled back into this hell. He shifted slightly in an attempt to get comfortable, and his shifting was immediately followed by an either angry or pained voice from someone else in the room.
"R – ouch! – Ryuzaki, could – ow – could you stop kicking me in the head?"
"I would if I could feel my legs," L grumbled in response.
"Wh… I can't hear you, you're mumbling."
"Ryuzaki-san says he would if he could feel his legs," Misa's voice replied.
"Wonderful…" Light said with a sigh.
Due to the length of the chain on the handcuffs, it was impossible for him to move away any further. L, however, did not plan on moving at all any time in the near future. Moving may have actually killed him. Though death may have been a relief from this suffering, it probably wouldn't be a very good thing for the Kira case.
L was lucky enough to be over his hangover by that afternoon, which meant that he could work on the case for the rest of the night and stay up by means of coffee with the other container of creamer that hadn't been tainted with. Katherine remained in the main room until after everyone had fallen asleep, and had decided to use up the last bit of her special coffee creamer. L was simply amazed that she wasn't the least bit intoxicated after drinking the rest of it straight, to the point that he had to ask how she could have possibly managed that. She laughed in response to the question.
"With friends like mine, I developed a rather high tolerance after a bit." She smiled. "Although there was a time when I was much like you. By the way, how much do you remember?"
"N… not a lot."
"How likely am I of being Kira?"
"Not… very likely, why?"
"You said there was a thirty-six percent chance that I'm Kira now, you know. You also forgot Light's name for a while and started calling him Kira-kun, but not before asking him the classic question: 'Hey, Light-kun, what was you're name again?' And does your knee hurt?"
"Yes, actually…. Why?"
"That was from when you attempted to stand and you hit your knee on the coffee table in front of you here. You then told 'Kira-kun' to murder the coffee table because it was 'being an ass.' You gave everyone a good laugh."
L flinched slightly. "You're still evil…"
She looked at him for a moment, widening her eyes. "Oh. So you don't like me anymore, then. I see."
She turned her head to look at the wall next to her, grinning as she heard him sigh in exasperation. She closed her eyes at the feeling of his hand on her shoulder, and her grin turned into a simple smile. She had been a little worried that he might be a little angrier at her than she had originally imagined after the side effects of his inebriation took effect. She opened her eyes and looked back over at him.
"I really do apologize, I didn't expect it to be that bad." She rested her head on his shoulder, looking up at him. "You're not too overly mad at me, are you?"
"No," he said, not bothering to look down. "I don't have to get any revenge, either. I'm sure Misa will take care of that well enough."
She sighed, rolling her eyes. "You know, I think I prefer you drunk, it makes you funny in a more goofy and less evil way… although you did get kind of touchy-feely with your man-bitch over there."
"I did what?"
"Well, you did the drunken arm-around-shoulder thing and asked him if he was gay – quite loudly, if I might add– and then before he could answer, you told him that you think Matsuda has a crush on him. No big deal, just made Matsuda turn red, then kind of greenish, and I do think it almost made Yagami-san attempt murder. What's that?" she added, looking at the screen on his laptop. "Apartment building?"
He took a moment to answer. He almost wanted to remember the previous night, but at the same time, he was afraid of remembering it. She might have preferred him drunk, but he was definitely never drinking anything with any sort of alcohol content again….
"Helloo?"
"It's going to be the new headquarters when it's finished," L said, snapping out of his thoughts. "It's very close to being done now, so we should be relocating there by the end of the week. There is already all of the equipment for the Kira case that we will need there. Each floor is a separate apartment, one of which yourself and Misa will be sharing."
"Two bedroom, I'm hoping."
"Yes. There will be cameras monitoring every room in that particular apartment–"
"I'm starting to think Misa was right about you being a pervert…"
"– and you will be given your own key in and out of the room so you can work on the Kira case. Misa will not, as she isn't working on the Kira case herself, but she only needs to call to get out of the apartment and down to the investigation floor."
Katherine poked him in the arm, raising her eyebrows. "How do you plan on transferring my notebook if Light is chained to you?"
"That's quite simple. It is hidden just behind the left side of the table the television in your room is on. You will be in charge of transporting it, and I will again hide it the next time I am given the chance. Until then, you'll just have to refrain from killing any suspects."
She sighed. "I'll do my best. But I want Kira-face to die for more than one reason. Other than the fact that he's Kira. Considering he's an insufferable little shit that's more worried about the condition his hair is in than the Kira case itself…
"Speaking of Kira, any remote ideas yet on who the newest one might be?"
"No," he said slowly. "It's hard to actually look at it as there being a new Kira when no one else on the team realizes, so if I start to look at it as such, they will assume I know something." L pressed his thumb to his lips. "Working with people who have no idea of what is truly going on is truly irritating. I have to also act like I think Kira didn't change until I can find groundbreaking evidence that proves he did…"
"Have you tried looking for patterns in the killings?"
"There's nothing as far as heart attacks are concerned, it's the same as the old Kira. Just criminals. It's hard to pick out other types of deaths, as you never know if they're natural or caused by a Death Note…."
"Ryuzaki-san?"
L flinched at the sound of that voice next to him that early in the morning. She had called and asked to be let out and he had agreed to it, so it was his fault. However, considering she would have only complained about it to Light later in a very loud and annoying manner, letting her out of her room was the lesser of two evils. Of course, this nuisance was Misa Amane, the dread of all those suffering hangovers, headaches, or hangover induced headaches. Luckily, L had none of the three this morning, which mean she wasn't quite as dreaded as she could have possibly been.
"Kat-chan told me not to do this –"
"You'd probably be smart not to go against her word…"
"Kat-chan wouldn't play tricks on Misa-Misa! She– oh, Misa is getting distracted, she needs to ask Ryuzaki-san a question!"
"Go ahead," L said, half-ignoring her as he checked on the progress of his research headquarters again.
"Does Ryuzaki-san like Kat-chan?"
"We're basically friends. Even if she is the reincarnation of Satan."
"Misa doesn't mean as friends," she pressed on. "Misa-Misa sees Ryuzaki-san looking at Kat-chan all the time."
"Is that so?"
"Is Ryuzaki-san ignoring Misa??"
"No."
"Misa hopes Ryuzaki-san isn't ignoring her, it would be mean to do something like that. So does Ryuzaki-san like Kat-chan?"
"As I said a moment ago, we're friends."
"Misa knows that already! I'm not stupid, you know."
Could've fooled me… was what he thought. He luckily managed to stop himself from saying it.
"I'm aware."
"Misa isn't asking what Ryuzaki-san's and Kat-chan's relationship is right now, Misa is asking Ryuzaki-san what he thinks about Kat-chan."
"I know what you're asking me."
"Then why isn't Ryuzaki-san answering??"
"I'm busy, and you're questions aren't particularly important. I do not engage in those sorts of social relationships, and my job prevents me from doing so anyway."
"Well, does Ryuzaki-san think Kat-chan is pretty?"
It was obvious that Misa wasn't going to leave him alone. L really just wanted her to go away. Her interrogative skills weren't very good, for one thing, and that was utterly nerve-racking. And for another, he wasn't about to give her any information that would cause her to attempt to play the role of Misa Amane the Matchmaker. Her persistence of the subject would only drive him over the borderline between genius and insanity.
"Does he?"
"Misa, try to understand this. I am not personally attracted to people's physical aspects."
"Well, Kat-chan is smart."
"But evil."
"She can be nice!"
"When she's not playing the role of Satan brought to Earth."
"Is Ryuzaki-san mad at Kat-chan?"
"Not particularly."
"Then why is Ryuzaki-san saying such mean things?"
There was only one way to end this quickly. L glanced over at the boy sleeping in a sitting position next to him. Then, L elbowed him hard in the arm, causing him to jump awake. He looked around for a moment, then his eyes widened in terror at the sight of Misa. And, incidentally, the plan had worked. Misa's attention quickly switched to the now awake love of her life. L sighed inwardly in relief. There was one benefit to being chained to the megalomaniac; he was a good decoy when it came to distracting his followers.
To my commenters: You've broken my record! I got 19 comments on the last chapter XD I'm so happy.
I averaged the usual one thousand views, so more happiness!
-hugsforeveryone!-
