Disclaimer: Don't live in Arizona. Don't own Twilight, yah dig?
Alsper's ours. Him and his fantabulus ideas.

CBE/Kirmit: (Robs/Alice) So here's Alice. Please no one kill me for this. This is probably the hardest chapter I have ever had to write. I actually cried at one point. And Yes there is more to the James story, K and I finish telling it at a later date. Special thanks to Kristin and Kels for keeping me in good spirits with funny videos and what not. Amanda for getting me drunk after this chapter was finished.

Calin: (Kristin/Jasper) Thanks to everyone's support on the last Chapter, seriously I was ready for flames. I know a LOT of you expressed your concerns about Jazz's custody… well just wait this whole messed up situation is FAR from over. I have to give mad props to my PIC, she went Emo for this and still managed to smile, thus proving how awesome she is (Hello she was mentioned on TLYDF blog for crying out loud!!! Side note: (not related to this story…) Men suck. The. End.

We would like to also give our BIG thanks to Kels our "boomthefuckdone" beta! And once again congrats on your Acceptance into your chosen Uni! That is fuckawesome!

Playlist: Sugarcult – Pretty girl (the way); Simple plan - Save you


Chapter 7. It's The Way.

Pretty girl is suffering, while he confesses everything

Pretty soon she'll figure out what his intentions were about

That's what you get for falling again

You can never get 'em out of your head

It's the way

That he makes you feel

It's the way

That he kisses you

It's the way

That he makes you fall in love

She's beautiful as usual with bruises on her ego and

Her killer instinct tells her to beware of evil men

And that's what you get for falling again

You can never get 'em out of your head

And that's what you get for falling again

You can never get 'em out of your head

It's the way

That he makes you feel

It's the way

That he kisses you

It's the way

That he makes you fall in love

It's the way

That he makes you feel

It's the way

That he kisses you

It's the way

That he makes you fall in love

Love

Pretty girl, pretty girl

Pretty girl is suffering, while he confesses everything

Pretty soon she'll figure out

You can never get 'em out of your head

It's the way

That he makes you cry

It's the way

That he in your mind

It's the way

That he makes you fall in love

It's the way

That he makes you feel

It's the way

That he kisses you

It's the way

That he makes you fall in love

Love

The baseboard in front of me needed to be dusted. I needed to sweep. I couldn't move, the cool stone floor under me seemed to cradle me.

James. For three years I was with James. He was a musician who traveled a lot and I had accepted that. I didn't see him often, but when I did, it was about the sex. I never thought anything about it, I was never close enough to anyone to really talk about it. Maybe if I had been, someone would've told me our relationship was fucked up.

I met him at a club, tall, glorious looking with blond hair that a Pantene model would be envious of. We made out some and went up to his hotel room. Afterwards he asked if he could 'just put it in a little bit' and took my virginity. After that, every few weeks he would be back to see me, I learned everything from him. He bought me roses and candies, he took me out to dinner, and he lavished me with attention. He called me almost every night and would tell me how much he loved me. I thought I loved him, but I didn't feel for him even a quarter of how I felt for Jasper.

I was so fucked in the head that I couldn't even think straight. I heard the door open. Impossible, Edward was gone for another couple of days, I thought.

When it ended. I wrapped myself in a ball, kicking a lock of hair while doing so. I went to the art museum with Edward and some bimbo he was dating at the time. Then I saw James, a ring on his left hand, holding a very obviously pregnant woman loosely around the middle and a child holding his other hand. I walked home after that, hugging myself. Praying that I would be alright. I could feel the tears start to spill down my cheeks. He didn't love me, why would he? My own family didn't even really love me. I was never interested in the same things as everyone else, never had any real friends, girls were always too catty and guys didn't understand my sense of humor.

Except Jasper, he understood. But I would be fucked if he weren't exactly like James. Why did I fall for Jasper? WHY?! I didn't even know him that long! He fucking acted like he hated me for the majority of that time. What the hell was wrong with me? Isn't this shit supposed to be, I dunno, easier the less time it's been?

I saw him with her, the beautiful Latin woman and his voice crept up in the back of my head, "I prefer dark haired beauties." That was definitely what was standing in front of me, he smiled a little at a child in the car and turned to give the woman a hug, I stopped moving forward, just staring, waiting, for what? I had no clue. Then I saw it. They kissed. They kissed. They kissed. I rolled into a tighter ball.

I wanted to run up and kick him in the balls, I wanted to turn around and go back to where I had come from. Anything, but stand there and stare. My shoes felt like they were melted to the cement. The beautiful woman got into the car touching Jasper gently, then left. She didn't even look at me. Jasper did. I must have been a sight. I realized I was gaping and could feel tears burning my eyes, I moved my hand to cover my mouth, it obviously wasn't going to close anytime soon. He studied me for a minute looking defeated. Yeah dumb ass you got caught. The words came out of my mouth before I realized what I was saying.

"I can't believe…" my voice broke," I…I…Do you have any idea? Do…" He tried to interject, but I cut him off. "You need to stay the fuck away from me. Don't come near me ever again!" I tried to cry out but I got choked up a little bit, I turned and started to run for my car across the street. I could hear his feet hitting the pavement as he chased after me. Why was he chasing me? I saw what I needed to see, I am not that big of a glutton for punishment. I reached my car, got back in and left him.

Memories are like ghosts, they haunt you. And like ghosts sometimes they come back after a certain period of time. I remembered our first night while I was driving away in the car, everything. I made it to the condo and remembered James. Those memories started to combine and soon I could feel both of their hands all over me. I felt like I was going to be sick, I went to the bathroom.

When I was sure I wasn't going to get sick I stood in front of my mirror looking at myself. Contemplating what I was going to do. I had no idea, then I saw the scissors, "I like dark haired beauties."

I picked them up and grabbed my hair. Fuck it all. I thought as I started to cut, the locks falling to the floor in uneven lengths. Then I saw Jasper standing behind me in the mirror and I collapsed. I sucked in air through my lungs.

I heard someone call my name from the hall, as I started to sob. I just wanted people to leave me alone. The person with the voice found me pretty quickly. I heard her mumble something about Edward before she kneeled beside me. "Alice... honey...?" She fucking knew my name. How the hell was that possible? I turned to look at her.

"Who the fuck are you?" I asked my voice cracking. Not the most polite way of speaking to someone, but I was having some serious heartache here. She rocked back a little so she was crouched.

"I'm Bella... Edward's… umm…girlfriend?" She smiled at me. I rolled my eyes internally. Of course you are. I turned away before responding.

"Edward isn't here." She shifted around me, sweeping my hair with her hands.

"I know that... And I'm not here for him Alice, I'm here cause you don't need to be alone..," She trailed off. I started to cry a little more at this person's random act of kindness. Fuck, you would think I just drank Whiskey the way I'm acting.

I opened up the rest of my broken and bleeding heart. "Why doesn't anyone love me? Why does this shit keep happening to me?" I asked her, in a whisper because I didn't know if I actually wanted her to hear it. She stopped sweeping the hair around me and faced me again.

"That's not true. Edward loves you. Jesus, he thinks the world of you." I scoffed at her, he didn't love me, he loved the fact I was fucking marketable. "What happened Alice?" She asked as if she cared.

"I'm just fucking retarded." I laughed miserably. She waited patiently for more and because I really couldn't stop the damn verbal diarrhea I was having, I did just that. "I fell. Like, hard. Like a dumbass and nothing." I Remembered what Edward had told me I internally flipped him off. "He was right."

"Well, it's apparent you fell." She offered me her hand, "Come on. Let's go talk somewhere." I stared at her, why was she being so nice? I looked into her eyes, deep and brown. There was no judgment in them, a little bit of pain and pity, but no judgment. So I took her hand and she smiled and helped me up off the floor.

"Don't worry, I'm a good listener, I have an emotional tool for a cousin and well... you have met your brother before right?" I laughed a little. Lets see, Edward, stuck so far up his own ass he can't see straight, thinks he's looking out for everyone else, but he's just looking out for himself. Yeah I met him. I nodded.

"I think he has 'Jackass' tattooed somewhere." I replied softly.

"Without going all TMI on you, I won't answer that." She winked at me and I made a face. Gross I really didn't need the mental image. "Kitchen or Living room?" She asked. I looked at her. Depends on your answer missy. I thought.

"Do you like Ben and Jerry's Brownie Batter?" I asked her and she looked at me funny. What? It was just a question.

"That's only the best flavor they have!" She exclaimed. I like you already, I thought. I tried to smile at her, my face wasn't cooperating.

"Kitchen." I responded starting to walk in that direction. She nodded at me, and continued the small talk apparently she was better at it than me.

"Seriously, what woman doesn't like chocolate?" I scoffed and threw out the first name that came to mind.

"Edward." She stopped and leaned against the doorframe laughing, clutching her sides as if she might burst. Well I'm glad I can make you laugh, lady. I worked mainly on autopilot, going over to the freezer and taking out two pints, going to the utensil drawer and pulled out two spoons making places up at the bar in front of bar stools. Bella managed to stop laughing at this point and as I started to sit and eat my ice cream she had made her way in and sat next to me on the barstool. I started to really feel sorry for myself at this point and was bordering on really wanting to punch something or just throw the damn ice cream. So I jabbed the ice cream a few times with my spoon.

"So like I said, I'm Bella, and you really need to not abuse Ben and Jerry, they are here to comfort you. Want to tell me about it?" I scoffed and stopped stabbing the ice cream. This girl is funny, but do I want to bear my soul to you? Fuck no. I've done that. See how it ended.

"You're going to think I'm an idiot 'cause I dunno even know how I ended up this bad." Truthfulness. I suck at lies.

"By ending up this bad... you mean, feeling like you can't breathe without hearing that persons voice, like your skies are grey until you see his smile and the way that smile makes his eyes sparkle, and suddenly it was if there was no clouds?" I stared at her as she jabbed her own spoon into the ice cream. Well shit lady I didn't mean to offend you, but you did fucking ask me what was wrong with me, didn't you? She snorted a little, "Yeah have no idea what that's like."

"Sorry. I didn't mean to assume." I told her. She shook her head and smiled a little at me.

"No, don't apologize."

"I tend to assume a lot," Thinking of Jasper, the sex, the weekend, my heart hurt even more. "Tragic character flaw." I finished, looking into her eyes for a minute before looking down again.

She scoffed a little, "Better then lack of coordination." I smirked a little at her. I guess so. I wouldn't be able to live with wearing heels. I'll never understand why, but I felt like I could be honest with her. So I started to talk, hoping that she would understand what I was trying to say.

"What would you say if I told you I thought I was in love once? But I felt something deeper for someone else, someone my brother didn't approve of." She raised an eyebrow at me while taking a bite of her ice cream. "But I went after him anyway because I followed my instincts. 'Cause whenever he hurts, no matter how much he hurts me, I have to make sure he's okay." She promptly took the spoon that she was sucking on out of her mouth.

"Then I would say congratulations, you really are a woman." She smiled. Oooh snarky. I'm liking her more and more. I laughed, she continued. "And that you were fooling yourself. You didn't love the first time.…" She looked into her ice cream, as if she was talking to herself. I stared at her, ready for her to continue at any time. She didn't disappoint. "Okay answer me this....The 'one love'... did you ever feel like you had to know where he was, just to know that he was happy?" I shook my head. I knew he'd come back and that he was happy wherever he was at the moment. I never really put that much time into it.

"And with the guy that Dickward doesn't approve of...did you feel that with him?" I smirked when she called my brother 'Dickward'. I thought I was the only one who gave him names like that. I guess not. I nodded in response to her question about Jasper, even now, my heart was broken and I still just had this desire to make sure he was happy. But I've only known him three weeks. This was insanity.

"But I hardly know him." I argued. She shrugged.

"I hardly know your brother, and I must admit, even I have an unhealthy attraction to him. But it doesn't make the pain any less when he fucks up." I scoffed, I knew my brother well enough to know that he fucked up a lot. And Jasper fucked up too.

"Yeah. He fucks up. He has someone else. How can I love someone who is with someone else?" I asked her, choking up a little. Bella coughed a few times before responding. I don't think she realized I got cheated on, or whatever. I still hadn't figured that out. What the fuck were we?

"Someone else?"

"I saw him kiss her." I whispered as the image popped back into the front of my head. I heard her yell something and she looked pissed as I laid my head on the cold granite of the counter top.

"Sorry bad reaction... never really had a heart to heart with a girl before…" I didn't understand why she was sorry. She had nothing to be sorry for. I didn't really know how these things were supposed to go either.

"It's a first for me as well."

"Look at that we popped each other's cherries…" She chuckled, "you think Edward would be jealous?" I laughed into the counter that where I was resting my head.

"Yes, have you met my brother?" I asked her. Still laughing she rubbed my back in a soothing way.

"Touché." She laughed a little more before continuing. "I see you have the great Cullen wit as well. I know what will make you feel better." You do? I looked at her and made an interested sound. She grinned like a devil. "Shopping, makeovers, mani, pedis, and lots of margaritas." She wanted to get me drunk which was not so great for me right now. That was how I ended up in this sad scenario. I laughed a little bit. I could feel the anger rise in me again.

"Is it bad that I really wanna punch him right now?"

"Nope, trust me your not the only one in that department. In fact I'd be happy to take you wherever he is to do it." She said in a definite manner. I shrugged. Punching him was pointless and I knew it.

"Not that it would do anything. Proud son of a bitch, he doesn't even care."

"Oh come on... you know you want to go all "Carrie Underwood" on his ass." She said, biting her lip a little. She looked more excited about beating in his car than I did. I thought about it, taking a bat and beating the hell out of his damn precious SUV. But then I imagined the look of horror on his face once he saw it and I couldn't do that to him anymore. I sighed and closed my eyes, bringing up his eyes half lidded and smoldering in my mind. The way he looked at me when we had sex. I shook my head.

"I do, but I don't want to hurt him."

"Even after he hurt you?" She asked sounding shocked. Yes bitch, do you have hearing problems? My fucking god. I can't fucking hurt him.

"I still....I can't hurt him." I almost said I still loved him. But I had no idea if that's even what it was. I was so fucked up right now I had no idea which way was up. I could see her nodding in the corner of my eye.

"I understand." I knew that if this was Edward's girl than he had most likely met her at Sue's since that's where he went.

"Do you remember me bitch slapping a guy about a week ago? It was a big scene." She nodded her lips pursed.

"Yeah it was interesting...people were more shocked that Whitlock was talking to a female rather then smoking like a chimney outside...what about it?" What, they were shocked he talked to a girl? Really? I was confused. I remembered him eyefucking me. Those eyes. I could see them again, eyefucking me, a smug smile on his face.

"Um, that's the mystery guy. See why I'm an idiot?" I asked. He was a musician. I should've just stayed away. She raised an eyebrow and smirked.

"No honey you aren't an idiot." She seemed to be considering something. "Jasper Whitlock? No shit... how'd you manage that one? I have seen many try and fail. I swear the only thing that matters to that man is the music." I nodded.

"I agree. And really great sex. He seems to like sex a lot." Bella snorted, sounding like a choking sound in her ice cream. My room, my bed. The feelings I got, the stupid candles. "Ass." I said mostly to myself.

"Well then you're the only one that's had a privilege to that cowboy." She bit her lip as if trying to hold in a laugh.

"And obviously the girl he was kissing. She's privileged as well." Anything you want Alice, his voice called in my head. Liar. I shot back.

"Like I said Alice, Many have tired, but he always seems to go home alone." I shrugged still laying my head on the counter.

"All I have to do is piss him off... maybe they've gone about it the wrong way. Have they tried seriously pissing him off?" What. Do. You. Want? He yelled at me in my head, his face inches from mine, his eyes narrowed. You. I thought. I closed my eyes as a tear came out.

"Alice, in the years that I've... hung out at Sue's... Jasper doesn't even spare the other girls a look. He goes in, plays his songs, sits with his family, and goes home. That's it." The first time I saw him, he was watching me sing. His incredible eyes, his lips. The dark hair that flopped a little in his face.

"He looked at me. He smelled me." I laughed at how ridiculous that sounded. She laughed as well.

"Well shit, I don't swing that way and I'd look at you." She nudged my shoulder making me laugh again. "He smelled you?" I laughed again. "What the hell is he a dog or something?" She was almost falling out of her chair laughing. The memory hit me him leaning closer, smelling my hair.

"Yeah he smelled my hair." I laughed at how ridiculous that was. He fucking smelled my hair. What kind of odd shit is that?

"Did he say why?" We both continued laughing.

"He said I smelled like coconuts."

"Coconuts? …Strange."

"That's what I thought!"

"He's been weird since birth." She laughed and abruptly stopped herself. I tried to remember what she had just said, had she said since birth? "I mean since I've known him." She said quickly. Oh it was probably one of the inside joke things I almost never understand. She shoved in a bite of ice cream and smiled at me. I heard his voice in my head again, raw, southern, deep and husky.

"He told me stuff."

"Like what?"

"He said he felt what I felt too. He said that he always wanted to see me smile…" I could hear him talking to me again. Angry, happy, horny. Maybe I just wasn't good enough. He was just trying 'us' out. I could feel the tears building up in my eyes again. "I am so stupid. I fell for it again." Thinking of James, all my memories were starting to blur together in my head. It was making me dizzy.

"No you're not Alice…" she said gently, rubbing my back. "Remember the night of the slap?" Of course I did. Looking back I should've done one of two things, either not overreacted to the song or not followed him. I nodded to let her know I remembered. "Remember when he went on stage after that?" Duh, lady I followed him after that song 'cause I couldn't ever watch him hurt. I nodded again hoping she would make her point sometime soon. "In all the years I've seen him perform, never once had I see him give himself over to the emotion of the song like he did that night and I noticed that his eyes never left you. He cares about you, Alice. He's just got a jaded past from what I hear from his sister. He doesn't let anyone in because he doesn't want to hurt them the way he's been hurt." I raised my eyebrow at her.

"Yeah well we all have our scars." That seemed to irritate the hell out of her, she pinched the bridge of her nose. My brother usually did that when he was annoyed. Well lady. You invited yourself in.

"Can I tell you something and you promise me you won't kill me?" Whatever, lady. I nodded. "I'm twenty three years old. My name is Isabella Swan, My Father was Charlie Swan…" Why was that name familiar to me? "Samantha Swans brother until she married Thomas Michael Whitlock." My jaw dropped, Jasper's parents. Bella was Jasper's cousin. If I felt like an idiot before, I really felt like one now. I clenched my teeth and sucked in air, trying my best not to throw her ass out of the apartment, remembering that she was my brother's girlfriend. "I've known Jasper for twenty three years and trust me I want to pound his face in right now, But you need me more then he does. He fucked up. But he has some serious shit he's dealing with because of...well... Shit." She started to pick at her nails, she wanted to make excuses for him fine. First she needed to fucking hear why he broke me so goddamned hard.

"You know how I said something about scars?" My voice was low and gruff. She nodded, looking at me in surprise. "The first guy I ever...fucked, I dated him for three years. Three years is a really long time at this age okay? He told me he loved me, how beautiful I was, how special, how fascinating. He was married, he had kids. The entire time I dated him. And now…" Bella's eye got wide for a moment there and then just nodded, as if in agreement. "When I saw him....it brought it back to me." I thought about seeing him with the pretty lady and the little girl. My insides clenched, it was happening all over again. I gave myself to him, as scared as I was I did it. I started to yell, I was so angry with myself for letting it get that far that quickly, him for being a judgmental bastard and her for acting like she cares. "I am not a whore! I am not a fucking princess! Your cousin doesn't know shit about me or my pain or shit I had to deal with growing up. OKAY?!" She looked at me dead in the face.

"And you don't know about him... not trying to piss you off." She raised up her arms in surrender. "Just hear me out." I was so pissed I couldn't see straight. She just kept sticking up for her cousin. Of course she would.

"Jasper, started dating Maria when he was fourteen, they had an on again off again relationship that everyone in the family told him to stay away from." She sighed and mumbled. I raised an eyebrow. So that bitch's name was Maria. Good to know. Seriously I didn't need to hear that Jasper is in love with some whore. "About five years ago, Maria just disappeared without one fucking word to Jasper." Whoa his abandonment issues. There's an answer. The reason he got so pissed when I left in the morning. She wasn't done. "Then six months later she shows up wanting money. Thinking since he's the heir to the Whitlock Ranch, he'd give it to her." Filthy fucking hypocrite! I screamed in my brain, he was the fucking rich bitch! "Well it turns out she was pregnant." What did she just say? I looked at her and she chuckled with a sad smile on her face. "Yeah, Jazz is daddy." What the fuck? Oh my fucking god! He had a fucking kid, that little girl was his? Fuck! I could feel the color drain from my face. I just gaped at her during the rest of the speech. "Only he sees his daughter maybe once a month for a day. Maria is seriously fucked in the head. And from what I understand from Jazz... he was saying good bye to them today." What?

"Why?!" I demanded, how dare he abandon his daughter!

"I believe he said her words were 'either pay me, keep giving me dick when I want it. Or say good by to Jordan.' Of course the last bit was thrown in after he told her that he was seeing you." She ground her teeth angrily. He told her he was dating me? He had a fucking kid? What the hell? "We don't trust Maria to use the money for Jordan on top of what he pays now, so that was never an option and Jazz... well he's not the kind of man to whore around... so that wasn't an option either." I understood, and his decision broke my heart even worse.

"Doesn't he have rights?" She nodded, looking sad.

"I don't know for how much longer, he said something about seeing a lawyer on Friday." What the fuck was going on in that fucked up head of his?

"Why?"

"He's going to give her up... he thinks its best that she stops being used as a pawn in her mothers games." I could hear her voice break. This was a really fucked up situation. I suddenly felt the need to comfort Jasper again. Something in me clicked though, I couldn't help him. What he was going through was way worse than what I was going through and compared to him I really did look like a spoiled Princess. But wait…

"I...why did he kiss her?" I don't understand. Maybe it was way too complicated for my mind to wrap itself around. She shook her head.

"I can't answer that, only he can." I placed my forehead on the countertop again. You look and act like a princess all the time around him, no wonder he hated you. I thought in my head.

"I can't talk to him." I groaned into the counter, "I really want to beat the hell out of him and hug him and make all his damn pain go away at the same fucking time." She laughed.

"All men we truly care about make us feel that way, do you know how many times I wanted to drive your brother and his precious car off a cliff?" I wondered how long this girl had been dating my brother. I laughed a little, joining in on her joke.

"You know how many times I've wanted to?" She laughed, her brown eyes sparkling.

"How did you put up with him for twenty one years?" I shrugged.

"He's always taken care of me."

"But seriously, the situation with you and Jazz... it'll work its self out." I nodded, thinking about the fact that he must care about me if he told the ice queen to pound the pavement, 'cause he wasn't giving her none while he was with me. I pulled some of my hair over my shoulder to look at it. It looked really uneven. What the fuck was I thinking? I started to cry and laugh at the same time. I couldn't believe I actually did that!

"I cut my hair." She started to laugh and gave me a hug.

"How about we go do girly shit and make fun of stupid celebs." She laughed and I nodded. I started to tidy up the kitchen and she helped me. I began to think about what Jasper was doing, he was essentially giving up his daughter to stay with me. That made me feel like shit.

"I don't know if I can handle this...Jasper being a daddy...if he's gonna give her up 'cause of me. I don't want to live with that." I said to her, getting a rag as she sighed, leaning against the sink.

"All I can say Alice, is if it weren't for you, he wouldn't seen what Maria is doing to their little girl, using her as a pawn to get money." I felt very bad for Jasper's daughter. I remembered what the back of her looked liked like, long curly brown hair. Tall, thin, and her clothes hung on her awkwardly. Her shoes looked like they were in rough shape. That lady didn't take care of Jasper's daughter properly! Thinking about everything she had done. I could feel my blood boil.

"I know I don't know her, but is it alright if I hate her too?" I asked. She chuckled, raising an eyebrow at me.

"By all means. My aunt Sammie is the president of the Maria is a Cunt club, so welcome to the club." She grinned at me. I nodded my head to her, thinking about how my mother hates my brother's cheating ex, Tanya.

"My brother has a girlfriend again...huh." She looked at me curiously and I smiled in return. "Guess I can't make jokes about his secretaries anymore." She snorted in laughter.

"Why not? I do." I laughed. She was cool, nice and funny. My brother better hang on to her or else I'd kick his ass. I hugged her.

"Why do I know we're going to be great friends?"

"Cause I'm fuckawesome." She stated rather cockily. I laughed and shrugged.

"I guess so." She laughed some more. Jasper, he needs to take care of his daughter. It was obvious that Lady Death wasn't going to. Jasper couldn't give his daughter up, not for me, not for anyone that was wrong. Maybe if I gave him a push in the right direction, I thought. I could buy her some stuff to show him that I was both okay with his having a daughter and him keeping his daughter.

"What size does she wear?" She gave me an odd look.

"Who?"

"Um…" Fuck what was her name? I was hoping that Bella would just catch on and tell me. No such luck. "Jasper's daughter?" She gave me a knowing smile.

"Jordan Marie Whitlock?" I gave her a half smile, knowing I got caught.

"Yeah." I shrugged.

"Well, she's supposed to be 5T but she's hella taller then she should be, for which I blame Jazz. So I think a seven?" She shrugged. Did no one buy her clothes? I wondered.

"Ok. Thanks." I smiled at her, thanking her for the information. If anything she could grow into it. I almost laughed at myself. I sounded like my mom.

"No problem." She smiled as I turned and walked into my room grabbing a hoodie to cover my horrendous hair and my purse.

"Can we go get my hair fixed first? Jasper can't see me like this." Even thinking about it made me cringe. I didn't want him to know he broke me. I had to be strong, even if it did hurt a little. I came back to her laughing.

"No. I'm gonna make you stay like that until Edward gets back…" Oh my god did she want Edward to kill Jazz? He would do it if he knew. She must have understood the look that was on my face. "Kidding! Lets go!" She stated, grabbing her own purse and I led her out of the condo.

We went to my usual place and sat down waiting, they usually didn't take walk in's, but money talks. And I threatened to make my money walk. They listened and I got my emergency haircut. Bella waited outside while it was done. I could see her talking into her phone, I knew there was probably only two people she could be talking to, my brother or Jazz. I pushed it out of my head, not really wanting to think about it.

"So who's the guy?" Brandon, my usual hairdresser said as he snipped my wet hair. I gave him a small smile in the mirror.

"How do you know there's a guy?" I asked, looking smug and cocking an eyebrow. He cocked an eyebrow in the mirror right back.

"Listen sweets, you've come in here every six weeks for three years. I have done your hair every single time. The last time you did some drastic was over Douche Bag. So honey, cut the crap. It must've been a pretty big deal. You didn't cut your own hair last time." I licked my teeth and pursed my lips lightly.

"Another musician." He nodded giving me a knowing smirk. "He's from Texas." He snorted lightly.

"A home state boy, huh? You know everything's bigger from Texas." Then he winked at me, I chuckled lightly really not wanting to think about Jasper's size.

"He's got these incredible fuck me eyes. And his mouth, my god. I could go on and on about his mouth." Brandon cocked an eyebrow at me and smirked. "But it's more than that. When he holds me it makes me feel like I have a reason for everything. When he kisses me I feel it to my toes. The sex is hot of course." He smirked at me again.

"Honey, I think you could make missionary hot." I laughed at him, "I've seen you devour every issue of Cosmo. You better be good."

"We don't get along all of the time. As a matter of fact he was a one night stand that I bitch slapped about a week ago." He stopped cutting and stared at me in the mirror, confused. "Yeah I know it was fast. I just felt this pull to him. I had to make sure he was okay, and then, then it turned into something more." He resumed fixing my hair.

"So what made you chop all your gorgeous hair off?"

"He kissed his baby's mama." I said stiffly. Brandon stared at me in the mirror again.

"What? Well, honey he is losing out. He's going to regret it someday." Brandon smiled at me reassuringly. I think he already does, I thought in my head.

After about twenty minutes of talking about Brandon's new boy toy my hair was done and styled. It was short and chunky layers, he curled them all out so it looked even more fab. I hugged him and gave him a hefty tip.

I took Bella to my favorite place to get my nails done, we both got rebases on our previously manicured nails. I picked baby blue for my toes and my usual lady, Kim, painted a pink flower on each of my big toes.

Then we went shopping, which had mixed feeling for me. When I closed my eyes I saw the kiss. I couldn't get the image out of my head. Shopping normally calmed me down some. I bought a few things for myself and then I went on my mission, taking Bella along with me as a willing accomplice.

We picked out clothes for Jordan, having no nieces or nephews myself, I actually think I did an okay job. I bought her three dresses that were simple and bought her three pairs of dress sandals to go with to which Bella laughed. Then I found a store that had a pink Beatles shirt and I bought that too. I walked around and bought her some jeans, another shirt, a jacket and sneakers. Then I walked by a Stetson store. I figured if she's anything like her daddy, well she needed one. So Bella and I found a pink one to buy her and had it wrapped up. After my shopping excursion for Jordan I had six bags. Bella just laughed at me.

"Wow you haven't even met Jordy and you seem attached." I laughed a little.

"Well, she's a part of Jasper." I shrugged, showing her how much I cared about her hypocritical cousin. She nodded giving me a half smile.

"That she is, if only she had blond hair to go with those eyes.... at least she doesn't have his fucking mouth." She rolled her eyes, I knew she was talking about Jazz's potty mouth, but I kinda liked his potty mouth.

"Yes well…" I trailed off not sure what to say and shrugged. "I bet she's pretty." I added so I didn't seem like a complete ass.

"She is... Oh! I have a picture want to see?" I nodded as she pulled an old looking picture out of her purse and showed it to me. She has dark curls and bright blue-green eyes, I could Jasper's nose on her face and despite what Bella had said, Jordan did have his mouth.

"Awww....she's adorable." Bella nodded her agreement.

"She is Princess Jordy, that's what Jazz calls her. You should see her door at his house in Texas. It has it painted on there. As soon as he found out it was a girl he did that." She shook her head and laughed a little. I joined in a little, I didn't understand how someone who sounded like he wanted so much to be this child's daddy would give her up so easily. All the information I had gathered swirled in my head. He was giving her up so he can still be with me, he didn't want to sleep with his ex anymore or give her more money. What kind of sick twisted bitch was she? Then I remembered the kiss. He still loved her, that I was sure of, but the reason behind it escaped me.

I needed to let him go so he could figure shit out. I was tired of shit like this happening. I needed to take myself out of the equation. If everything Bella told me was true then I was going to end up hurting him. The thought burned a hole in my stomach and made me want to puke. Before I could lose my nerve I picked up the bags.

"I should go give these to him. Wait here, okay? I don't need you to hate me too." My voice cracked a little. He was going to hate me for leaving, it was the thing he hated the most. Boy did he ever have abandonment issues. Bella raised an eyebrow as if she was going to question what the hell I was doing but seemed to rethink it and nodded her consent.

I saw him standing behind the register, his head in his hands, occasionally rubbing his face with them. Some kid walked up and asked about the new Linkin Park Album, he pointed a finger in the opposite direction from me and I inhaled deeply, preparing my speech in my head. He needed to get his shit together. I couldn't make his decisions for him. You could help, a small voice said, I squashed it quickly.

I rolled my shoulders back and walked towards him, confident in the choice I had made. His eyes flickered to me, when I reached him, he mumbled an apology. I just bit my lower lip. Seriously, why the fuck did he kiss her? I couldn't get over it. I set the bags on the counter in front of him. He looked at them with a bewildered expression, his eyes still avoiding mine.

"Those are for Jordan, Heir Whitlock." His eyes snapped up to meet mine. They were bloodshot and wide, like I had just kneed him in the nuts. "You know what? You are such a fucking hypocrite. At least I worked for my money. And if you think that you're giving up your daughter for her sake you're a fucking liar. You're just being selfish." He opened his mouth to say something, I put a finger up to silence him. I wasn't finished. "Maybe you should figure out a way to take your child from that skank instead of walking away and leaving her to defend herself against mommy dearest."

He looked so dejected that I wanted to reach out and touch him, but I knew I couldn't. I needed to be clear with him. He needed to do the right thing and sometimes the right thing wasn't the easiest. I turned and walked out before I could cry again. Fuck Alice, I thought to myself, when the fuck did you grow up?

I was giving up something and someone I really wanted for his own good. The situation he was in was fucked, but he needed to grow up and figure out what he wanted for himself, he didn't need anyone else's judgment. Once he was on the other side, if he still wanted me, I would be waiting.