All characters are Stephenie Meyers. I don't own them I wish I did ;o)

Well this is a continuation of the talk in Bella's room. If you don't remember the previous chapter you may want to read it again for a refresher. Enjoy!

Here is the last little bit from the previous chapter.

"You didn't make me think all those things I was dong. I did all sorts of things Charlie and you would not have thought I would. I was crazy. I was hearing voices every time I did something dangerous. I didn't keep my promise."

"You're alive Bella. What could you have possibly done to endanger yourself that badly?"

"Don't get mad."

"Bella?"

"I jumped off the cliff in LaPush."

"What were you thinking Bella?"

She was quiet for a moment before she spoke. "Of you actually." She said quietly.

"What???" Did I just hear her right? She was thinking of me while jumping off a cliff. This didn't sound good at all.

~munchkin1978



Why?

Chapter 4

I just looked at her. I was at a loss for words. She had promised she'd stay safe and out of trouble when I left. I shouldn't be angry but she'd broken the promise. When I saw the look in her eyes my anger dissipated. It was harder for her when I left. It wasn't what I had expected her to be. She was broken from what Charlie said.

"Bella?"

"I jumped off the cliff so I could hear your voice. I was hearing your voice every time I did something dangerous. I was riding motorcycles, going into dangerous neighbor hoods in Port Angeles. Jessica deemed me crazy then. Anytime I was doing something stupid I would hear you. I would see you behind closed eyes. You were still here with me. Jacob Black saved me that day. That was also the day Harry Clearwater died and the day I put my life into perspective. I got mad and stayed mad." I heard her voice change back to being as sharp as it was moments ago. "I was mad at everything. I was mad that you left, mad that you didn't come back and save me. Mad that my best friend was gone and I had no one to talk to. No one to cry to. I never cried over you. You had taken my whole heart. You didn't leave me with any of it left. I died that day." I watched her stand and the anger resumed in her eyes as she recalled everything. "You took away my heart, leaving me with a body for a shell. I was roaming around like a zombie. For the last four years I've been a zombie. I have no life. I don't go out. I can barely look after myself. All because you took my heart and left me. I want it back. I want my life back. I want to live."

I waited a moment before I spoke. She was mad that I had left her. She wanted her life back. I had no idea she actually felt this way. Charlie had no idea she was this way. "Bella, I'm sorry if I had any idea it would be like this for you."

"Would you have come back? I don't think you would have."

"We can't change the past Bella."

"Right now I want to live my life for Charlie. I can't have anything else. I am asking too much doing that."

"Beside Charlie, what do you want Bella?" I asked quietly.

"What does it matter what I want? I'm not the one that's going to die." I watched her face as the realization hit her. "He's going to die isn't he?" The tears started again as she collapsed into a heap on the floor.

"Bella…"

"Answer my question Edward. He's going to die isn't he?"

I couldn't keep my answer from her. She knew I knew how long he had. I pause a moment longer watching her watching me. "Yes Bella he will."

The sobs broke free and I went to her. Mad or not she shouldn't be alone. I pulled her into my lap and rocked her in my arms. I swallowed the thirst I had when I inhaled her scent. I put it out of my mind and focused on Bella. If I had to be here all night I would. I wasn't going to leave her like this. I couldn't. It wouldn't be like last time.

"Bella shhh love."

She continued crying well into the night. I had to pick her up and wrap her in the blanket that was on her bed. I still made her cold and always would. She finally drifted off to sleep and I didn't dare move from my spot. She was curled into my side as we used to be years ago on this very bed.

I watched her sleep. So peaceful now. Charlie had said she had nightmares. Constant nightmares from the time I left. I whole heartedly had no idea that she would. I knew she had nightmares before but they came back fully when I'd left. I'd never wanted Bella to be hurt with anything I did. Leaving was the worst thing I could have done. I finally realized that.

"I promise you Bella, you will have your heart back."

Bella's eyes fluttered open and she sat straight up not realizing I hadn't left her.

"What are you still doing here?"

"Making sure your okay."

"I'm fine." She uncurled herself from the blanket and stood up. "You didn't have to stay. I do that most nights."

"Bella it's my fault."

"I know it is."

"Let me prove to you I will be here for you."

"What will happen if you have to leave again? I won't do this all over again Edward."

"We won't have to." I paused, sitting up with her standing before me. "I never stopped loving you Bella. I want you. I want only you." There I finally said it out loud. I wanted her to trust that.

"Edward stop it. You better go."

"No Bella. I'm not leaving." Damn it. This wasn't the way I wanted this to go but I didn't have a choice. I stood up before she could blink and whisked her off her feet and kissed her. Not just a peck on the lips. A kiss that she could remember always. "I want you Bella. I will always want you. I don't want to be apart anymore." I kissed her again as she fought me. Her arms didn't do any damage to me and after the fourth and fifth swing and well into the second kiss she relaxed and I set her down on her feet. I let her pull back to get some air and she watched me. I wasn't going to move until her decision was made. What she did next surprised me and caught me off guard.

She took a piece of my hair and swept it from my face and kissed me back. She wanted this. I could feel and hear her heart beating a million miles a minute through her chest. It wasn't full of hate. It wasn't full of anger. It was beating like she had never lost her hear. I pulled her close and she curled into my arms.

"Thank you." She told me quietly.

"For what my love."

"For giving me my heart back."

I smiled and kissed the top of her head. I held her close until she moved. I didn't make any movements till she moved towards the door. I stepped out of the line of sight just incase and waited for Bella to come back. I could hear her checking on Charlie, then going for a human minute. She came back in and sat on the bed.

"Is he okay?"

"For right now Bella."

"How long?"

"It's not for sure Bella."

"How long Edward." Her eyes were pleading for any information she could have.

"Bella…" I didn't want to confirm it for her. I didn't want to see her upset anymore than she already was.

"How long does he have Edward?"

"A few weeks maybe more." I'd said too much. The tears started to fall again. "Bella don't be sad. He knows this."

"He's my father Edward."

"I know that."

"I should have spent more time with him." She gasped. "I should have stayed in Forks. I should have stayed here like he wanted me too. He let me go." She paused with another gasp. "Wait…."

"Wait what?" Her train of thoughts were baffling me. She was bouncing around all over the place. I'd never seen her do it before.

"He knew from years ago. He knew from years ago and he let me go."

She was crying harder as her thoughts centered on her last train of thoughts. I hated seeing her like this. I shouldn't have told her, but I'm not keeping things from her. I am not keeping anymore secrets.

"Bella love, Carlisle and I are doing everything we can for Charlie. I wouldn't have it any other way." I told her calmly.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do Edward. How can I handle two lives when I can barely look after my own."

"Let Carlisle and I do that for you. Let us worry about helping Charlie and making him better. You just be there for him. That is all he wants. He wants his time with you."

I stepped up to her and held her close. She didn't pull back. She wasn't angry anymore. She was drained. Emotionally drained. I couldn't believe how many tears came out of her. I knew human females would cry like this but only for a little while. I knew Bella was hurt. She was hurting beyond what I could fix for her. I knew I was part of that hurt. She would take a long time to get over it, and I would take just as long to make it up to her.

She finally calmed and went to have another human minute. She came back with a freshly washed face and her hair in a ponytail. I had always liked her chocolate brown hair down so I cold play with it when we were in high school. I liked it up in a ponytail now too.

"Someone is dying to see you."

"Edward?" She looked at me as if I had grew a second head.

"Sorry Bella, not that way. She has wanted to see you I should say."

"Who?"

I listened for Alice. She was waiting by the front door. Alice had seen me with Bella and her questions probably before I did. She was about to ring the bell when I picked up her thoughts.

'Edward I know you're in there with her. I want to see her. It's my turn. I want to see my friend'

"Bella go to the front door and open it." I said smiling to myself. I wasn't going to keep Alice away from what she wanted much longer.

"Why? What is going on Edward?"

"You'll see."

I didn't tell her. I should have, but it wouldn't matter in a few minutes. I stood back as Bella and I reached the bottom step and she reached for the door. She opened it after undoing the locks and Alice bounced through in all her pixie glory.

"Bella I've missed you so much."

"Alice…."


Well what did you think?

I like this chapter a lot. Bella got what she wanted out and got want she wanted back. How do you like my version of just an EPOV perspective? Still have Wednesdays off. Hopefully I will be able to do a lot more in the coming weeks. But my son is going to speech pathologist every other Wednesday and I am keeping him home from daycare. Please read and review. Let me know what you think!

~munchkin1978~