Maya was shepherded to sickbay when the got back to the Enterprise, where Beverly checked her over and removed the bruises on her arm with a single tingling sweep of an instrument. She was only just allowed to shower and change after this before she was escorted to a debriefing with the Captain, King Bahu and a sharp-spoken Lanthenon woman. Will was there; it was the first time she had seen him since he had spoken to her in the mining yard. Once more in his Starfleet uniform, he looked different and remote.
She gave a full and straightforward account of her experience with the terrorists, and answered their questions concisely, hearing her voice - calm and well-modulated, a little cold - from some distance away. The ringleader, Lady Elbathura, had been found still unconscious but unharmed, and she had been taken into custody on Lanthenon with the other two.
"It's clear from all accounts," said the Lanthenon woman, who seemed to be directing the interview, "that the capture alive of these three very dangerous enemies of our state was almost entirely down to you. I'll certainly be recommending you for an honour."
Eventually, the Captain said that she could go, which was all the reward that Maya wanted. She felt Will following her, and he caught her outside, once the door had closed on the small conference room.
He took hold of her arms, gazing down into her face with tenderness in his eyes. "Are you all right?"
"Will, I've been in much worse situations than that. I'm fine. I need to get some sleep, that's all."
"I'm on duty now - I'll see you for dinner?"
She nodded. She had to speak to him eventually.
"Then we can pick up, maybe, from where we were interrupted," he said with a wide smile, and kissed her lightly.
She let him, feeling nothing; not even embarrassment when the door of the conference room opened and Captain Picard and the King stepped round them.
She lay in the dark, floating, fighting, trying to force herself under the surface of her fatigue. Her limbs ached, a consequence of spending too long locked into another form, and her eyes were stinging. Her body craved sleep but her mind was refusing to let go, because - she knew this, consciously - she was terrified of what was waiting for her.
On Alpha she would have gone to Helena for a sleeping pill.
"Lights," she said, sitting up.
Light had the usual effect of dissolving the surreal painful dimensions of the bed and the surrounding air. It steadied the spinning in her head, and when she got up, though she still felt dull with tiredness, she realised that there was one thing she could resolve immediately.
The Commander was where she first looked for him, in his quarters. He signalled that she could enter, but his living area was empty and he came through from the bedroom, tying on a dressing gown. He had obviously been asleep.
"I'm sorry," said Maya. "I didn't mean to disturb you. I'll come back later."
"No - Maya - come in, sit down. I lost a night's sleep, I was catching up."
Helena appeared at the door, blinking.
Maya didn't sit down. She felt like an intruder, though she tried to ignore that. She had been too easily blown about by her feelings, she thought, in the past few days. She stood in front of them, clutching her arms to herself.
"I've come to ask you if I can be part of your colony," she said. "I know I'm not really one of you - as you said, Commander - but I also know I could make a contribution, if you want me."
"Maya!" said Helena, in concern, coming over to her. "If we want you?"
"When I said that, in the Eagle," said the Commander, "I only meant you shouldn't feel you had to stay, that we'd understand if you didn't want to. Of course you're one of us."
She knew he had meant that, but she was desperate for reassurance and affirmation. "Thank you," she said. "Then I will come with you."
"Then things haven't worked out with Commander Riker," said Helena.
"It's not what I want."
Helena and the Commander exchanged a glance, then he held out his hand to her and shook it. "I'm very glad to have you back on board, Maya. You know that."
"Thank you," she said again, turning to go. She could see in their faces that they were concerned about her, and she wanted to go away and compose herself.
"We're having a base meeting at 1600 hours this afternoon," said the Commander, making her pause. "We don't know yet if enough of the Alphans are going to go for the colony. We'll find out then."
"You have my vote."
"See you there?"
She nodded.
As the door opened to let her out, Tony stepped in. He kept his eyes and head firmly averted from her and she passed by him, trying not to react.
Out in the corridor, she walked along in a dream of misery, hardly conscious of her surroundings until she got back to the safety of her own quarters. There, she sat down and tried to force herself to talk to herself. If she was going to work with Tony to establish the colony as one of the command team, she had to put herself back together again. They couldn't continue to ignore each other; or, if he chose to behave in such an immature way, she would have to become indifferent to it.
Her eye was caught by something familiar lying on the table in the living area. It was her Psychon necklace. She sat down and fingered it, letting the jewelled metal fronds clink gently together, knowing immediately without thinking it through that Tony must have brought it for her.
She was surprised, and bewildered, by how much it hurt, and how unimportant everything else seemed now. Surviving the death of her father and the destruction of her homeworld, and building a new life from nothing at all, had made her - she had thought - immovably strong. Why should losing Tony eclipse everything, and consume her with a pain she couldn't bear? She still had her other friends, she had an exciting new challenge in the colony, she had a valued place in Alphan society and she knew she had the Commander's love and respect. She laid all these blessings in front of her mentally, and thought how different she was from the poor shattered girl who had found herself stranded in an unknown spaceship, weeping into the arms of two alien strangers who had been at a loss to comfort her.
She shivered and laid down the necklace, and got up to get herself a hot drink from the replicator. There was nothing she could do now, because talking to Tony was impossible. Perhaps, in a few days time, it would not be. All she could do was decide to exercise self-control and be polite to him when she saw him, or try not to care if he ignored her. When they got to the colony, there would be plenty of time to become friends again, even if they could no longer be lovers.
This conclusion encouraged her, and her feelings eased slightly. She was wondering if she ought to have another attempt at getting some sleep when the door signalled, and everything inside her jumped.
Calming herself, she said, "Come in!"
It was Data. "Good morning. May I speak with you?"
Slightly disappointed, slightly relieved, Maya said, "Of course, Data. Come in. I haven't seen you for a while."
Data stepped in, and the door closed behind him. He stood there with an odd indefinable air, as though he were not quite at ease. "I hope you have recovered from your experiences at the hands of the Lanthenon terrorists."
"It wasn't so bad, they were more frightened than we were, I think."
"Nevertheless, I was concerned for your safety."
"I'm fine now. But thank you. Come and sit down."
"Unfortunately, I am on duty. I do not have much time, and should strictly be in engineering at this moment, assisting Mr La Forge. However, following a conversation I had with Dr Crusher, I decided it was important to see you immediately."
"What's the matter, Data, what do you want?" She had the distinct impression that he was disconcerted, as far as he could be.
"I understand that you have terminated your relationship with Mr Verdeschi. Have I been correctly informed?"
"Data - I don't really want to talk about it."
"No, you misunderstand my inquiry, I am not motivated by prurient curiosity, or the desire to communicate gossip to others. I have a genuine reason for wanting to know, and I assure you that I will discuss the matter with nobody."
His pale, slightly golden eyes were calm and earnest. Maya felt more comfortable with Data than with any other man, she thought, especially now. It would be easy to indulge in an outpouring of self-confession, while he listened with quiet interest. She resisted and only said, "Tony and I have split up, yes."
"And is it your intention to enter into a similar relationship with Commander Riker?"
"No. But I haven't told him that yet."
"In that case, I would like to ask you if you would consider doing me the very great honour of becoming my wife."
Maya stared at him. It was one of the few times in her life that she had been struck speechless.
Data paused, and then continued. "You are surprised. I anticipated this reaction. You have possibly thought that, because I am an android, and do not have emotions, I would not have any wish to be married. That is not the case. I have often thought about it, and considered what advantages I could bring to a married partnership, and what advantages such a partnership would bring to me. I have even discussed the matter, on occasion, with Counsellor Troi. For some time now I have hoped that, eventually, I will marry some day. I had imagined it to be a distant event, something that might happen when I had become more fully human. I did not realise that I would meet someone who would turn that hope into an immediate desire."
"Oh, Data," said Maya, unexpectedly moved.
"As a husband, I could offer you companionship, friendship, and sexual gratification. I have told you that I am not without previous experience of relationships and, though that experience has not been extensive, the two women with whom I have had sexual intercourse both expressed themselves satisfied by it. I was programmed with some abilities and techniques, and I can learn many more. I cannot, of course, impregnate you. But if you wish to be inseminated by some other means, I would be proud, and happy, to be a father to your children."
Maya recovered her self-possession. "Data, you'll be a wonderful husband, and a father, to someone. That someone can't be me, I'm sorry."
He blinked - she would have thought expressionless, except that he always had the same expression, a curious, blank, intelligent look. "Have I expressed myself badly?"
"No, you expressed yourself very well, and I'm flattered. That kind of marriage wouldn't be right for me, that's all, and because of that, I wouldn't be right for you."
Data inclined his head. "I appreciate your honesty."
She took his hands and kissed him, on the lips, curious. His mouth was warm. Data responded and kissed her back, properly, with surprising sensitivity.
For half a second she thought about those two woman who had enjoyed having sex with Data, and realised that it was probably a very good way of getting pleasure without the dangers of emotion. What she had foolishly, and wrongly, expected from Will.
She put the momentary temptation firmly aside, and stood back. It was never that simple.
"If at any time in the future you reconsider my proposal," said Data, in parting, "please contact me. My feelings, as I have none, will not have changed."
