Loads of comments to reply to this time, eh? I suppose I'd better get started!
blueness12: Thanks! I suppose it's just because I love writing XD And I'm not going to stop with this story until it's finished. Any story on my list isn't abandoned. I'm on hiatus from a few of them, but I will keep working on them.
ellan54: I suppose it could count :P And L won't kill you, he'll just get a bit mad.
Everyone Like Me: Thanks muchly. Pat and Don are my favorite OC's I've written for in a while.
I Major in Majick: Thanks :) And, not necessarilly everyone. Mostly just Light XD
Divolka: All day? O.O Wow. And thanks for the review! I'm not that great at in depth ones myself.
Volital: Well, he's not as minor now that he's on the task force :D
Sybil Corvax: Thanks! And sorry - I try to do a once a day update but my English and Math classes that are attempting to brutally murder me prevent me from doing so :(
erina destiny: Not quite a fit. And don't worry, he will get annoyed quite a bit XP
Marisol Akyri: He's my favorite too :D he's rather fun to write for. And 'tis possible that they will be, tis possible.
dreamerxofxroses: Yeah, he very well could need it =P
ani-sand: Just a bit, yeah :P I'll be trying to update sooner next time.
HeeHeeHee01: Thanks :) Power reading, love that. I do that all the time. Actually, it was Pat in the second chapter, I think, not Don. :checks: Yeah, it was him. There's been more with Don via cell phone conversations, but Pat's the only one that's been introduced in any face to face interaction. But again, thanks :D
Baytail: Haaa, creeptacular. Nice one, I'll be using that from now on XD
ActionFry: I've been working in advance on the chapter where Wedy comes up. I do that with the important bits. I'm glad you caught up with it, and thanks for the review :)
That's... :counts: 14 reviews!!!!! And currently 107 favoriters, 99 alerters, too many freaking hits, 2 C2 communities, and 297 comments - just three more til 300!!!!!!! This is the most popular any of my fanfics have gotten, and I'm quite happy. Grateful to everyone who's ever commented. Thank yooooooo!!!!!!
Disclaimer: I don't own any Death Note stuff. Well, I own some copies of the manga, just not the rights to them. If the writers came to my house and told me to give them back, I would have to. I understand that fully. I just hope it never happens O.O
Warnings: Computer hacking, noobs, lolcats, Misaworship, vampiric suspicions, Azkelpeddhegger, lack of alcohol in presence of Misa, annoying honoraries.
Quick-sum: In this chapter, we discover that Namikawa is a vampire, Kira is a "noob," according to the opinion of his own computer, and that Misa is a force to be reckoned with when the one reckoning with her lacks alcohol.
It was lucky that Katherine had come downstairs before Misa. She had hurried back upstairs before even saying hello to her friends and before giving L hell for not giving her any heads up that they had arrived to force Misa to take the elevator to the ground floor of the building. She didn't mention that this was to avoid Pat. Misa's main issue was that she remembered the non-Misa-obsessed Pat with whom she had gotten along with rather well upon their first meeting. She didn't know that there was a psychotically obsessed potential stalker of hers in the same building as her. Furthermore, she really didn't need to know.
Katherine sent Misa off downstairs and then headed down to the investigation floor herself by means of stairs. She fully expected to be told off or severely glared at when she arrived there, so it wasn't too big of a surprise when she found Pat standing at the foot of the stairs with his arms crossed, glaring. She crossed her arms and fake-glared back up at him.
"What?" she said. "You really think I was going to let you see Misa when you've turned into her number one stalker?"
"That's what friends are for, isn't it?"
"No, friends are for interventions." Katherine looked around Pat and spotted Don standing behind an empty chair at the monitoring station and examining everything. "Oi, Don!" she called over. He looked up from one of the monitors. "We need to hold an intervention for the Misa addict, how's next week Tuesday sound?"
"Pretty good, I don't believe my new client has any filming scheduled," he said. He hurried over to that side of the investigation room. "Speaking of my new client," he added cheerfully, "I'm off to spend the rest of the day with her. Goodbye."
Katherine walked over towards the monitoring stations, hearing the Pat's reaction echoing behind her: "Burn in hell you son of a bitch!"
"Yeah, as soon as the shoot's over," said Don.
"Get me an autograph first!" Pat added hopefully.
Katherine shook her head as she took a seat at her preferred computer. "That poor kid," she said under her breath with a laugh. She then picked up a few papers from next to her computer, all regarding Yotsuba, as she could have guessed they would. She flipped through them quickly, aware no one was paying any attention to her and quite happy for it. Inconspicuously as was possible, she rolled the papers into a cylinder, hit her palm with them once to make sure they were sufficient for what they were about to be used for, and swatted the computer-absorbed detective sitting next to her across the back of his head, nearly causing L to fall out of his seat. His hand flew to his head as he looked over blinkingly.
"That hurt."
"That was for not alerting me that my friends had arrived," she said, letting the papers fall flat again in her hands again and looking at them. "Okay, full names and pictures of all the main suspects, good good." Sensing a prescence behind her, she handed the papers backwards. "You think Namikawa's a vampire?" she asked, tilting her head backwards over her chair to look back at Pat.
"Yeah, also suspect he's Kira," he said, shaking his head and handing the papers back. "Then again," he added in a not-so-quiet whisper, "I also suspect mini-Yagami over there is Kira, so who knows?"
Light glared over from his computer. "I understand English."
"And I understand what your surname is backwards in English, so please keep away," said Pat, crossing his fingers and backing away as though warding off a demonic prescence.
Rolling his eyes, Light went back to his computer. Pat sat down at the empty chair Don had been standing in front of earlier and stared up at the monitors of Misa's empty room with slight annoyance, then decided on allowing the computer in front of him to entertain him for a while. Katherine looked up at the monitors herself for a moment, for no reason in particular except that she had just wondered if she had any Cheez-Its left, before going for her own computer for entertainment.
Five minutes later, she heard the sort of light speed typing that meant only one thing: Pat had hacked into something he definitely wasn't supposed to. She looked over onto his computer screen, which looked suspiciously normal, but he had a word processor file pulled up. She looked up and down the row at this – and saw Light looking particularly perplexed. When she looked back at Pat's computer screen and saw him using the "Ctrl" and "V" buttons on his keyboard to paste KIRA over and over again on the word processer file, she understood instantly. He had hacked into Light's computer and decided to freak him out. However, she didn't say anything, as L had just noticed that Light's computer was acting oddly. That could be interesting.
"Light-kun, what are you doing to your computer?" asked L curiously, watching the word Kira appear repeatedly.
"M – me? – I wasn't doing anything except typing up notes, and it started this.
"Try asking it a question."
"Wh– it's a computer, Ryuzaki."
"I'm aware it's a computer, Light-kun," said L. "I mean type something, not ask out loud."
"What's it doing?" Katherine asked curiously, standing up and walking over. She looked over Light's chair as though genuinely interested. "Oh. Oh. The computer thinks you're Kira, too."
"Did you do this?" he asked suspiciously, looking over his shoulder.
"No, you can look at my computer if you don't believe me!" L did so, and read from her open file.
"'A-z-k-l-p-d-d-h-g-r'?" L read, looking at the computer screen in some bemusement.
"Right. Azkelpeddhegger. It's a code word in case Kira hacks into my computer. Had to develop my own language."
"Is… Na-goo-jee-trayu-ah-hag a code word as well?" asked Pat, glancing at the screen himself.
"Not technically. That's the name of the language," said Katherine. In truth, she had gotten bored with typing notes and began randomly running her fingers across the keyboard to make it look like she was working while she dozed off. It was usually effective, but it seemed it wasn't so much at the moment…
"Then it's not you."
"Ask it who it is," said Katherine.
"If it's spyware, I don't think anyone's going to – what're you doing??"
Katherine had already dragged Light's rolling chair backwards and taken the spot at the front of his computer. She typed in a few random letters, and the KIRA-ing stopped. "All right, that did something." She then typed "Who are you?"
And the reply:
"lYk, ii B teh GoD oF tEh CoMpOOtEr wOrLdZZ! lolz! KIRA iiS NOOBz!!11!!11!!!ELevenenenen!!!!1…2"
Katherine had to refrain from laughing at this for some unknown reason. "Well, there's your answer," said Katherine, just barely managing to keep a straight face as she looked back at Light. "The God of the Computer World thinks you're Kira. And that you're a noob."
Light glared and managed to push her out of the way to type himself: "Are you in the room?"
And the reply, Katherine saw on Pat's computer as she sat down at her own computer, was, "Reply hazy, try again."
The next question was, "Is there a reason you're doing this?"
"Cannot predict now."
"What's the point in this?"
"lolcatz."
"What?"
"You heard me, Imagay. lolcatz."
And at that, Pat opened up an internet browser, typed in the "lolcats" web address in the address bar, and got out of the hacked version of Light's computer and back to his own explorer window. Pat propped his elbow on the desk in front of him, and looked over at L and Light.
"What's going on over there?" he asked curiously. "Light having one of his I'm-a-gay issues?"
"What the hell…?" Light said, blinking at the webpage that had appeared on his page.
"Yep, that's the face he gets every time he looks at gay porn," said Katherine.
"Really? Awfully focused."
"Would you shut up?" said Light in annoyance, looking past L at the two of them. "Good God, and I though one was annoying…"
"Who's 'One'?" asked Pat in a mock-curious manner. In return, he received one of Light's Kira glares, which weren't common now that he didn't know he was Kira. Pat blinked a few times and began to back his computer chair away. "Okay. I'll be quiet," he said in a rather small voice. Katherine gave a snort of laughter as she began searching for more information on Yotsuba. She had the slightest feeling that L was regretting having let Pat on the team, just judging by the look he was giving his computer screen.
Sitting on a bench near a movie shoot, leg bouncing up and down in a twitchy manner, Don was looking around furtively for somewhere that might possibly have at least the slightest bit of alcohol. He had gotten into this job thinking Misa couldn't have possibly been any worse than the defective con artist he usually spent all of his time with. What could possibly be worse than a Misa obsessed alcoholic hacker?
He knew now. It was Misa herself that could be worse.
Between having a voice that reached a pitch so high that only dogs could hear it (and they probably still ran from it) and being so insanely hyper, she was enough to make anyone want to pull their hair out. He and Pat had both met her before, shortly after they had all first started their own work on the Kira case, but she hadn't seemed as bad then. That could have possibly been because Don's blood alcohol level was much higher then – the initial introduction had been in a bar.
Today, though, he was insufferably sober and while he had no hangover, Misa had managed to give him a headache worthy of one. The shoot wasn't a long one, and was therefore almost over. He needed either a bar or a liquor store, one or the other. And all he really needed was a beer or two, that would do the trick. If he was forced to wait until he got back to headquarters… that would cause a slight problem. He'd need a lot more than just a few beers at that point.
"Don-kun!!!!!"
Don flinched as Misa came running over, and his hand flew immediately to his forehead, where a sudden twinge of pain had nearly made it explode (or so he thought). When she got there, he stood up. "Is the bloody shoot over yet?" he asked irritably.
"It just ended," she said brightly. "Misa's ready to leave. Is Don-kun ready?"
Don took in a sharp breath of air and managed to refrain from strangling Misa. "Listen," he said in a calm tone that could have been described as nothing short of disturbing. "For the last time – it's not Don-kun, it's not Don-san, and for God's sake, it's not Don-chan. It's just Don. No hyphen, no honorary. Just 'Don'. Do you understand?"
Misa nodded solemnly. "Sorry, Don. Misa didn't mean to offend you."
"All right," he said, starting towards his car parked along the side of the road – he and Misa had taken a cab to the old apartment complex he and Pat had been staying in so he could pick it up. "And do you have to refer to yourself in the third person?"
"Misa usually does. It's a habit," she said, shrugging. "But everyone at the building is used to it, Misa is sure Don will get used to it, too!"
Don got into the driver's side seat of his car and was quite grateful that Misa got into the back. He didn't care if it made him feel like a chauffer anymore. He was too afraid he'd reach over and snap her neck if she chose to sat next to him.
"Need a bloody beer…" he mumbled.
And then a voice came on in his ear. "Impossible. You need to be sober if you're coming back to headquarters to work on the Kira case."
He shook his head in utter confusion and reached up to poke at his ear – then remembered the earpiece he was wearing. It resembled a Bluetooth enough that no one would question it, and it was so insufferably comfortable that he had forgotten it was there.
"Fine," said Don in reply. "I'll make a mental note not to mumble things to myself anymore."
Aside from the earpiece, he was also wearing a bug, as he had agreed to. It was inside the collar of his shirt, and just loud enough to hear even the slightest mumble. Now he was considering tearing it off of his collar and yelling into it in hopes that the raven-haired detective at the other end might go deaf in one ear. This was to help catch Kira – he just had to keep reminding himself of that, it was just to catch Kira, that's all it was for. He had to remain calm in order to keep this job, as it was getting him inside information on the case and helping him work on it. Just… remain… calm.
"Don-kun!"
"It's not 'kun'!"
"Sorry," said Misa. "Why're you talking to yourself?"
"I'm not," he said, trying to hide his annoyance. And still, the words were running over and over in his mind
(the Kira case it's for the Kira case it's for the)
to stop him from reaching back and strangling her. They were on the road again in the severely congested traffic of Tokyo, and Don was looking around for the turn he was supposed to take next. "I'm talking to Ryuzaki back at headquarters. I've been bugged in case I'm not trustworthy for whatever reason."
"But Don seems trustworthy, why would Ryuzaki-san think he isn't?"
"Don't know, ask him when you get back," said Don. He spotted a bar and watched it pass by in the window, then in the rearview mirror, and blinked a few times.
"Ryuzaki-san's a butt."
"That I can agree with fully," Don mumbled, half-glaring down at the collar of his shirt where the bug was so inconspicuously attached. "Bloody dick…"
"You may say whatever you like if it will put you in a well enough mood to work on the Kira case."
Don clenched his hand around the steering wheel and didn't reply. How the hell had Matsuda put up with this for so long? Of course, he hadn't had an insomniac detective who was so out of touch with the real world that it was surprising he hadn't regressed back into a monkey talking in his ear the entire goddamned time…. And he was used to speaking in Japanese. Don still made mistakes occasionally that made Misa do that stupid high-pitched giggly laughing thing that made him want to remove his own eardrums by force.
Within a few extremely long, arduous, high-pitched minutes, Don was pulling into the parking of the headquarters apartment complex. He and Misa got out of the car. She looked at the door (which was still broken from Pat's attempt at "breaking his own record") and blinked a few times. She apparently hadn't noticed it on the way out – she had been more focused on whether or not she had done her makeup right and whether or not she would have to redo it by the time they got to the movie set. Now, though, she looked absolutely bamboozled.
"Did someone break into the headquarters?" she asked. "Ryuzaki-san said it was impenetrable."
"Yeah," said Don, "Pat and I did earlier today."
"Oh, wow, Pat-san and Don-kun – sorry! – Pat and Don must be smart!"
"It wasn't me that did the breaking in," said Don. "I just stayed out of the way. He's the burglar, I'm the con artist."
"Like those two that L hired earlier?" asked Misa.
"Yes, and if you're smart at all," he said quietly, pretending to adjust his collar but actually blocking the small microphone attached there, just in case, "you'll avoid mentioning Wedy's name ever. She and Pat know each other and he's not particularly fond of her. If he happens to be listening to the audio from any surveillance monitor you're on and you mention her, he'll leave Japan as fast as if a lion were chasing him to the airport."
"Oh," she said, nodding. "Misa didn't know, Misa won't say anything."
"Good."
Don hurried on to the elevator and got off as silently at the investigation room as he could so Pat wouldn't happen to turn and notice Misa. It was lucky he didn't. Don had dealt with Misa enough without having to worry about dealing with her biggest fan. He walked over to the two sofas off behind the main chairs in the room and fell onto one face forward.
"Good, you're back." Don ripped the earpiece off of his ear and dropped it on the floor. "You'll be –"
"Bugger off!" he yelled at L, his voice muffled from his face being pressed against the couch cushion. "I just spent the day with Misa Amane, I'm not in any sort of state to be doing any work…"
L blinked owlishly a few times, and then turned back around in his computer chair, looking at Katherine. Katherine shrugged in response. "I told you ya should've let him get a beer."
Pat, who had just switched the monitoring cameras back to Misa and Katherine's flat, looked over. "You have a bottle of Jack Daniels behind the trashcan in the bathroom."
Katherine looked at him, utterly perplexed. He pointed at one of the cameras. She looked – the glint of a square-shaped bottle was just barely visible behind a trashcan. She looked at Pat incredulously. "You could spot a bottle of whiskey from a mile away, couldn't you?" she asked, bemused.
He shrugged. "It's a gift. And I think he could use at least three shots."
Katherine heaved a sigh and stood up from her computer. "All right," she said, "but he'd better get used to Misa pretty damn quick. I'm not giving up any more of it."
Oooohno, the inevitable list of random questions! Run awaaaaaaaaaaaay!
Not really. Read on.
Shall Don ever get used to the Misaness of his new job?
Will Katherine have to saccrifice more of her sacred Jack Daniels stash to get him back into Kira-findind mode in the future?
How many more newspapers will L get whacked across the head with before the investigation ends?
How upset is L about Pat being on the team? (Shall answer my own question: really fucking pissed, but slightly amused by the torture it offers Light. He just chooses not to show the latter of the reactions.)
Will Pat be too afraid to go near Yotsuba at any point in time in the future for fear that the vampire known most commonly as Namikawa might be there?
Will Misa accidently slip up and mention Wedy in front of Pat?
And more importantly, will Don attempt pay Watari to keep alcohol stashed in his room for occasions such as this?
All this and more in some of the chapters at some point in time in the future!!!!!!!!
