COPYRIGHT NOTE: I don't own Pokemon / Pocket Monsters. There are several other comical references made in this story. I don't own John Carpenter's Halloween, or Mission Impossible.
COMMENTS: First, thanks to all who reviewed Chapter 1! I'm happy that people are interested in this story after all. Much more sugar-high-Ash-cuteness is ahead!
FYI: Oh, and to anyone who noticed – yes, I did change this story's timeframe from Season 12 to Season 10, for reasons you'll eventually read about. Fear not, the Pokeshippy misadventures of Ash and Dawn's sugar cabinet are 100% intact! I just felt this story worked better in Season 10 than 12 (all because of a certain Pokemon cameo in this chapter). Enjoy!
* With Sugar On Top *
Aiselne Phoenix
Chapter Two
"Ow!" Misty shrieked, her hand suddenly throbbing before letting go of her spoon and smacking Ash's nearest shoulder. "Watch where you're stirring!" she snapped, massaging her other hand where Ash's spoon accidently wacked during his absentminded mixing.
He barely heard her, because Ash was in deep thought. Perhaps he had better things to worry about, but his mind still kept returning to Dawn's sugar cabinet. It did not help that his stomach kept making weird noises from time to time. Misty knows what's in there. There's GOT to be a way to make her talk, or at least give me a hint. At this rate, Ash would settle for anything to quash his curiosity.
But getting Misty to crack would be as easy as manually opening a Clamperl. Misty was just as stubborn as Ash, and little swayed her. But she's not IMPOSSIBLE to crack, either, Ash mentally grinned. There had been a few rare occasions when Misty's stubbornness weakened, but the question remained: what were Misty's weaknesses? 'Water Pokemon' was the first idea that popped into Ash's head, but Pokemon might be a little complicated at the moment. Besides, whenever Misty got onto a Water Pokemon tangent, her daydreams only drew her further away from reality…and Misty would take the sugar cabinet secret with her! Ash needed something simple, without drawing suspicion. He needed to say something so discreet and slick that not even Misty would catch on to Ash's prying…something she would never see coming!
"You' know, Misty...your hair looks reallynice today."
Misty definitely did not see that one coming. As if an 'off' button were flipped, the redhead's mixing halted, and her blinking blue eyes directed themselves right back at Ash. Misty desperately needed to do a double take, hardly believing what Ash just said, before...
...Before she wised up. "Nice try, Ash," Misty replied sarcastically, narrowing her eyes and continuing her stirring. "But flattery will get you nowhere."
Dammit, Ash cursed. Maybe that was overkill. He was hoping Misty would have melted away over his compliment, just like most girls did. Don't girls love to be complimented? Of course, Ash knew his compliment was pretty basic, but he had no intentions of acting all 'Brock-ish' either. No amount of candy is worth behaving like Brock, ESPECIALLY towards Misty! But maybe Ash was not trying hard enough. I'm not about to give up this easily. There had to be some other compliment he could shoot Misty that would be discreet, yet non-Brock-ish. But what kinds of compliments can you possibly give a scrawny blabbermouth like Misty?!
It was then that Ash got another 'brilliant idea.' Clearing his throat, Ash stopped mixing, drawing Misty's agitated curiosity. But he doubted she would remain angry after Ash gave her this compliment. "Well you look...really nice today," he insisted, holding back a gag at the nauseating compliment. Ash was not used to complimenting girls like this, especially in regards to how they looked. But if Ash learned anything from Brock, it was that girls loved to be complimented on their looks. "Are those new clothes?"
Misty raised a suspicious eyebrow at him. "You are so full of it, Ash," she retorted, not the answer Ash was originally hoping to get. "These are the same clothes you saw me last time in; yellow top and yellow shorts!" she huffed, reverting back to continuing her mix. "If you're gonna' B.S. your way through this, at least do it intelligently."
She had a point, but then again, Ash was just using the same 'B.S.' Brock would use. Maybe following in Brock's footsteps isn't the wisest idea. But what else could Ash use? He was not experienced in these matters, and complimenting a girl like Misty was not the easiest of tasks, either. For one thing, she's not much of a 'girl' to begin with! WHAT kinds of compliments can you POSSIBLY give a scrawny blabbermouth like HER-?!
'Scrawny' provoked another ingenious idea in Ash's head. Girls usually liked compliments about their clothes, hair...looks in general. If the hair and clothes flattering failed, Ash suddenly recalled another 'look compliment' that often made girls melt. "Seriously...you do look nice," Ash nodded, though he certainly did not believe what he said, not that he was about to voice an opinion like that to Misty! Doing so would be like knowingwhere a Team Rocket pitfall was and willingly falling into it.
Misty was getting a tad irked by the boy's flattering. Ash was never the discreet type to begin with, and Misty could read right through his scheme. His compliments, as corny as they were, were encouraged by whatever was calling Ash towards the guarded sugar cabinet. Misty knew his intentions long before Ash attempted to try softening her up.
Though...hearing him compliment me like this...isn't so bad, Misty thought, nearly smacking herself with her mixing spoon. Oh snap out of it! He's doing it to get his grubby hands onto the sugar cabinet mystery, not get his hands on... Misty bit her lip at her imagination. Down girl. Though Misty would be lying if she said Ash's compliments were entirely lost. B.S. or not, it's kinda' nice to hear Ash compliment me. The most he's ever said is 'she looks like a girl.' Some compliment that was! But let's not get too excited here. It's his stomach talking right now, not his heart!
Ash was unsure if Misty heard his last compliment, or if she was choosing to ignore him. "You do look nice," he repeated, a bit more confidently, praying that was more believable. "Have you lost weight?"
Misty stopped stirring. The kitchen's temperature dropped below zero in that millisecond.
Ash's stomach WAS talking. Now he's talking through his ASS!
"What the hell is that implying?!" Misty snapped, smacking Ash's shoulder with her goo-covered spoon, leaving a mark of sticky cookie batter on Ash's sleeve. The mush barely stuck to him when Ash jumped out of his seat, leaping away from the murderous look in Misty's eyes.
Okay, maybe that wasn't the smartest of things to say, Ash figured, sweatdropping and taking a few steps back as Misty shoved the mixing bowl aside and got to her feet. The enraged redhead threateningly stomped over to Ash's direction, gripping the mixing spoon like a knife. At that moment, Misty looked more like Michael Myers holding a drippy spoon instead of a bloody knife. "Is it something I said?"
"It's EVERYTHING you said!" Misty blasted, slamming her foot on the kitchen floor. "What're you implying?!"
"I didn't imply anything. I just asked if you lost weight."
"What?! Do you think I should?!"
That was a loaded question, but Ash was not stupid enough to give Misty an unsatisfying answer. Ash would die where he stood if he even cracked the slightest smirk. "I didn't say that." Memo to self; don't make ANY references to Misty's figure whatsoever. Her scrawny complex probably has something to do with this, not that she's fat or anything. Jeez, what is it with girls and these things?!
"You' know, I don't want to know what the hell you're implying," Misty groaned, running her free hand through her bangs and then rubbing her temples. "I'm getting a headache dealing with you," she grumbled, before pointing her dough-covered spoon in the direction of the back door. "If you and your 'compliments' aren't out that door by the count of three..." she threatened, whipping the spoon back in Ash's direction. The spoon's force was strong enough to send cookie batter splattering across the Ash's cringing face. "...You're gonna' have a VERY traumatic experience with this spoon, mister!"
There was no doubt Misty would live up to her threat. So before she even counted 'one,' Ash made his exit through the back door and onto the back porch. In his haste, the boy nearly tripped over Pikachu, who had stealthy slinked out the back door earlier to escape the bickering duo. Misty slammed the door shut behind Ash, followed by the clicking sound of her locking the door. Huffing, Ash plopped down on the back porch, trying to formulate his next move.
Great, now she's pissed. Keep digging your own grave, why don't ya? Ash lamented with a sigh. His stomach made another weird sound, but he knew it would be best to ignore it and watch the other Pokemon outside playing. The creatures were all having fun, and Ash wanted to as well, but the stupid sugar cabinet problem was probing him again. The more Misty repelled him, the more curious Ash got. I should be more concerned about my next badge, not some stupid sugar cabinet mystery.
Blinking, he felt Pikachu rub up next to him, coercing Ash to pet the mouse. A few other curious Pokemon, Aipom and Turtwig, trotted over to see what the commotion was about. None of the creatures enjoyed seeing Ash look disappointed, even though none of them were aware of his foolish fixation with the sugar cabinet. Turtwig was anxious to see its master revert back to his typical spunk and begin training. The mischievous Aipom was always itching to play a game with Ash. And Pikachu, in general, just never liked to see Pikapi sad.
Ash did not enjoy acting downcast, either. There were plenty of better things to do today than whine over Dawn's sugar cabinet! Getting to his feet, Ash stretched and then hopped off the porch. There was no sense in worrying about the sugar cabinet anymore, anyway. Misty was impossible, and Ash had better things to concern himself with, such as training.
"Okay guys..." started Ash, turning back to Pikachu and Aipom as they scampered over to join their master. "Why don't we practice...hey!" he yelped, stumbling slightly when Aipom lept onto his shoulder and snatched his hat again, jumping down and running across the yard with its treasure.
A bit flabbergasted, Ash quickly rolled his eyes before breaking into a sprint, Pikachu and Turtwig on his heels. The chase went around Dawn's yard, all the way to the front porch. The foursome nearly crashed into Dawn, herself, while she was on the porch, swatting the dirt out of a floor mat. In the commotion, the poor girl dropped the mat back on the ground, dirtying it up all over again. Dawn nearly screamed when she saw Aipom step on the mat before disappearing into her house. Ash and his two Pokemon nearly did the same stampede over the mat before Dawn grabbed the trainer's collar.
"Hey! What's the big idea?!" Dawn snapped, nearly choking Ash in her restrain. With her other free hand, the angry coordinator viciously pointed down at the trampled mat. "I just cleaned that mat!"
Releasing himself from her grip, Ash stopped to apologize. "Sorry' Dawn, but Aipom just took off into the house-"
...INTO the house...!
Normally, Aipom's hat thieving annoyed Ash, but this time around, the boy could not help but smile just as mischievously. Aipom, you're a GENIUS! What better excuse to get back into the house? Ash just needed to get his hat back from Aipom...a valid reason. And if I just so HAPPEN to find Aipom near the sugar cabinet...
"Ow!" Ash yelped, nearly falling backwards off the porch when something collided into him. It took a moment for Ash to regain his balance thanks to his reflexes, and Dawn grabbing his collar again to painfully lessen the fall (oxymoronically choking Ash in the process). Once regained, Ash looked down at the source of the impact: a shaking Aipom, hat and all, grappling onto the boy's striped shirt for dear life.
"Aipom?" Ash blinked, looking back whence the Pokemon came. Suddenly, Ash felt just as terrified when he saw the murderous Misty (dripping spoon and all) glaring back at him.
"Nice try Ash!" Misty replied sarcastically. "But you'll be happy to know I found Aipom for you, so there's no need for you to come barging back into the house!"
Ash felt his mouth drop open. How transparent AM I?! He figured Aipom's scheme was a flawless plan; nobody would have figured it out, since it seemed perfectly legit. How the hell did Misty see right through it so fast?
It's gotta' be a girl thing, Ash figured, taking his traumatized Pokemon and silently retreated to the backyard. The melodious sound of Misty slamming the front door (nearly whacking Dawn in the process) resonated behind him as Ash moped. Poor Aipom ran for dear life from Misty, though I can't blame it.
Maybe this is a 'MISTY thing.'
Returning to the back porch, Ash allowed Aipom to continue playing with his hat. The poor Pokemon needed 'some' form of comfort after its own traumatic encounter with 'Misty Myers.' Deciding it best to just continue training, Ash decided to have Turtwig and Pikachu spar together: Turtwig firing Razor Leafs for Pikachu to hit with its Iron Tail. At the moment, Ash's mind was too preoccupied to concoct better training ideas.
However, as for ideas to unlocking the sugar cabinet mystery...Ash was getting plenty of those! Around the forth Iron Tail, Ash got another brilliant scheme, and called over Pikachu with another "Pikapi's up to no good" smirk.
- - - - - - - - - -
It had only been about ten minutes since the Aipom incident, and Misty managed to finish the final cookie batter. Dawn and Brock were still cleaning around the house, so Misty took the liberty to pour the last batch of cookie dough onto the other pan, shaping them with Pokemon cookie cutters: Jigglypuffs, Pachirisus, Pichus, and Munchlaxes.
Misty found the Munchlax cutter ironic. Sighing, Misty snuck a few glances back at the empty candy bags on the kitchen table. The girl was hoping if she prayed hard enough, a few chocolate chips or caramel cubes would magically appear, but they never did. All thanks to a certain Munchlax...and I'm NOT talking about May's!
It's gotta' be a boy thing,Misty figured as she carefully slipped the pan into the oven on a grate under the previous pan. You'd swear Ash was trying to unlock the secrets of Pokelantis! Of course, his imagination's on the sugar-craze right now, so he probably thinks there's candy in there or something. Misty grinned sadistically as she sat down at the kitchen table to take a much-needed break. Boy, won't he be disappointed. Hehe.
But seeing as how his Aipom idea failed, maybe Ash will back off, Misty wondered, recalling how she noticed him and Pikachu were actually training a while ago. Once his one-track mind gets preoccupied with something else, he'll forget all about the cabinet...
"Oh, hey Pikachu," Misty greeted as the yellow mouse suddenly walked into the kitchen. The yellow Pokemon was staggering and panting a bit, with fresh sweat glistening off its fur. "You look wiped," she noted, getting up from her seat to fetch the Pokemon a needed glass of water. "Ash training you hard again?"
Sighing, Pikachu nodded with a 'you have no idea' look. "Chaa," it squeaked, as Misty knelt down to its level and handed Pikachu a small paper cup containing the desirable drink.
Glad' to see Ash is preoccupied with something else now. Misty smiled as Pikachu quaffed down its water. It never takes Ash long. Getting back to her feet, she decided to also fetch Ash a cup of water for Pikachu to take back outside to his master. It was rather warm outside, and if Ash was training this hard, Misty figured he would need a drink. I want him to grow up, not pass out. "Why don't you bring this back out to him?" she offered Pikachu, before noticing the exhausted mouse suddenly flop down on the floor.
"Pikachu?!" Misty squeaked, setting the cup on the counter and rushing back to the mouse. Gingerly, the redhead picked Pikachu up and set the mouse on the counter by the sink. "Are you okay?"
"Pika," Pikachu reassured, though it still looked exhausted. Instinctively, Misty started running the sink's faucet, while searching for a washcloth to cool the Pokemon down.
"Leave it to that numbskull to overwork you," Misty hissed, searching for a cloth to dampen and wash Pikachu's face. The Pokemon was clearly overheated, and Misty did not want it to get sick. Of course, I can't find a damn towel. Brock's sweet to do Johanna's laundry, too, but would it have killed Brock to leave ONE towel around?!
"Wait here," Misty told the panting Pikachu, feeling sorry and panicky for the mouse's health. "I'll just go ask Dawn where her mom keeps the extra towels. Hang tight," she said, rushing out the kitchen and heading for the front door. Dawn was still on the porch cleaning a mat; the same mat Ash dirtied when he and Aipom tried to get back into the-
…Get back…INTO THE HOUSE…!
As if struck by lightning, Misty skidded to a halt, nearly crashing into Brock as he was happily dusting the fireplace mantel. Before the teenager could even ask what Misty's problem was, the girl spun around and dashed back into the kitchen. Her jaw dropped open at the sight before her wide aquamarine eyes. There, on the kitchen counter, stood Pikachu on its hind legs, reaching up as high as it could...
...Reaching for the sugar cabinet!
"HOLD IT!!" Misty blasted, the electric Pokemon freezing and evidently sweatdropping.
"About-face, cadet Pikachu," Misty ordered like a drill sergeant, the terrified mouse not thinking twice before doing so. Pikachu never even managed to get within three inches of the cabinet before Pikachupi sniffed the rat out.
"You wouldn't happen to be on a mission, would you, Pikachu?" Misty interrogated menacingly. The frightened Pokemon cowered in fear as she slowly made her way in its direction. "Say...under orders by that nimrodof a trainer of yours?!"
Apparently, Pikachu was just as transparent as its master. Like trainer, like Pokemon. But Pikachu was not about to test Misty's patience. The mouse was not quite as brave (or as reckless) as Pikapi to test Misty's patience. Still, it was worth a shot. "Pi?" Pikachu asked innocently.
Of course, Misty did not buy the mouse's fake innocence. "MARCH!" Misty ordered, pointing to the back door. For added incentive, she stomped over to the door, unlocked it, and kicked it open...not at all surprised to hear the swung door slam into a certain something...or someone.
Okay, Ash did not quite expect Misty to 'kick'open the door, so he never had a chance to seek cover before the door slammed into his face. The nosy boy flew onto his back, sprawled across the porch. Pikachu took this chance and dashed outside for safety, rushing over to its wounded master. Thankfully, Pikapi was conscious, and staggeringly propped himself to sit up.
Uh, maybe spying right up against the door was not the smartest of ideas, Ash mentally kicked himself, rubbing his nose where the door made first impact. Originally, Ash spied just wanted to make sure Pikachu was okay in the kitchen…though the poor boy never bothered to worry about his own dangerous situation behind the back door! Ash was amazed his nose was not bleeding, though it was probably red, along with the rest of his embarrassed face.
"Don't bother sending anymore Pokemon in here on a kamikaze mission!" Misty ordered, making Pikachu fearfully squeal at her tone. Poor Pikachu dreaded the possibilities of what could have happened if it remained in that kitchen too long. Pikachupi was a kind person, but she had tendencies of going crazy when Pikapi pissed her off this much. Pikachu did not want to have its own traumatic experience with a spoon!
Ash had no intentions of subjecting anymore of his Pokemon to Misty's rage, either. He already had two semi-traumatized Pokemon on his hands! "Aw come' on, Misty. Just tell me what's in there and I'll drop this whole thing!"
"I'll believe that when Grumpigs fly!" Misty snorted, folding her arms across her chest. "If I tellyou what's in there, then you'll be determined to see what it is for yourself! 'Give a Pikachu a pack of ketchup, it's gonna' want a bottle of it'!" Misty replied with her spin on 'give a mouse a cookie.' Pikachu quickly chirped a 'chu!' with delight over the mentioning of its favorite food, while Misty groaned. Like trainer like Pokemon is right! Another one with food on the brain!
"Just tell me and I'll leave you alone!" Ash insisted, putting on another pitiful look for her. "Please?!"
Here we go again.Misty rolled her eyes. "Do you not know what 'no' means, Ash?!"
"Can I guess what it is, then?" Ash offered. "That way, you don't have to tell me unless I figure it out."
Misty stifled a laugh. "Yeah, like you'll be able to figure it out, Ash."
Ash begged to differ. His dictionary was sometimes limited, but his 'candy dictionary' was always state of the art! Ash knew all the treats by heart, perhaps better than he could recall all the names of Pokemon. "I'll bet it's..." he started, deciding to go with the generic. "...Chocolate."
He never ceases to amaze me, Misty sighed, shaking her head. Why can't Ash be THIS focused on other things, say...figuring out how to get out of a forest. Or better yet, pay me back for my bike. After all, it was JOY who fixed my bike. Ash got lucky. Misty decided opening one Pandora's Box per day was enough. "No," she answered, playing along for however long her patience held out. More than anything, it was always entertaining to see Ash make an ass of himself...something he's good at.
Ash pouted briefly, a tad disappointed that the mystery was not chocolate-related. No worries; I have other favorites."Is it...fruity? You' know...gummy bears or fruit lollipops?"
Misty shook her head again, giggling softly. "Nope."
That narrows it down more. "Does it have nuts, like almonds?"
"It doesn't."
"Well, is it hard or soft candy?"
"Well...neither."
"'Neither'?!" Ash asked to himself, blinking curiously. That dramatically narrowed the list down. If it's not hard or soft candy...what kind of candy could it be? Something in-between? But what was between hard and soft candy? Perhaps something that can be BOTH soft AND hard, depending on how it's prepared. You' know, like some hard candies melt in your mouth, or can be gooey or cooled... Ash was getting delectable visions of the golden, Heaven-sent treat people called 'caramel.' That can be hard candy if cooled properly, or...or it can be melted and…Oh God, is it good when it's melted. He could melt away just thinking about it.
Jeez... Misty disturbingly thought, watching Ash get doe-eyed, his sugar-rich imagination obviously running wild again. This is like watching Brock drool over a girl! Misty was wondering where Croagunk was at the moment, though it was probably keeping an eye out on Brock in case some pretty girl happened to unfortunately cross the teen's path. Gimmie a break! Brock drools over girls, Ash drools over candy...and he doesn't even know if it IS candy! Where are this kid's priorities?! But I guess it beats having TWO Brocks. Of course, Misty would have been lying if she said she would have minded if Ash behaved this way when thinking about-
Down girl! Misty reminded herself. Unless you magically transform into a piece of candy, Ash will never drool over you! Sometimes Ash's naivety was cute. Other times…it was just downright unbelievable!
"Okay, okay..." Misty groaned, recollecting her own thoughts and snapping Ash out of his caramel fantasy. "As entertaining it is to watch you eloquently drooling..." she sneered, noticing the boy sheepishly wipe his mouth after that comment. "...There's a batch of cookies that'll burn if I don't tend to them," she finished, turning back towards the kitchen.
"But...I still haven't figured out what's in the cabinet." Ash replied, halting her.
"Ash, believe me," Misty snickered, grinning playfully at him. "You're nevergonna' figure it out." That, and OTHER things.
Of course, Ash was not about to let Misty off after insulting his pride. "It's caramel, isn't it!?" Ash figured confidently, wishing above all else his favorite candy would be the winner.
Misty sighed and shook her head again at his persistence. "Ash, if it was caramel, why the hell would we hide it if we needed caramel for the cookies?!" she asked incredulously. "That makes no sense." Not that this is the first time Ash has said something that makes no sense.
She had a point, but then again, Misty never gave Ash a 'yes' or 'no' answer, either. Beating around the bush is a DEAD giveaway! "You still haven't answered my question," Ash noted with a confident smirk as Misty quickly turned back away from him. "Ha! It IS caramel, isn't it!? I knew it!"
Contrary to what the sugar-crazy boy thought, Misty spun around not to be suspicious. Instead, she was just seconds away from bursting into laughter, though a few giggles escaped. Oh my God, you'd think Ash was fighting for a million dollar question!
Her silence was making Ash all the more obliviously positive. "It is caramel. Tell me!"
Rolling her eyes, Misty knew she was going to laugh hysterically if she did not get away from the situation. "No," she replied as calmly as possible, heading back towards the kitchen.
Ash blinked. "'No,' as in 'no it's not caramel,' or 'no I'm not telling you'?"
You are so unbelievable, Ash! Misty wanted to spin around and tell him everything to end this foolishness. However, though she had a headache, Misty was indeed enjoying this game. She grew to learn over the years that innocently torturing Ash like this was a blast for Misty. He was not getting hurt, yet this was bugging the living daylights out of him. Times like these always brought out the 'best' in Ash. Turning her head back to him, Misty stuck out her tongue. "No, I'm not telling you."
Aw come' on! "Dammit!" Ash hissed, feeling just as lost as ever. Misty was enjoying this torture, while it was eating away at him. But before Ash could continue the game, Misty went back inside, and slammed (and locked) the back door.
She's enjoying this, Ash complained, huffing and crossing his arms, still sitting on the porch, trying to formulate his next plan. His damn stomach was constantly making taunting noises that drove Ash crazy, and Misty's game was only antagonizing him! At this rate, Ash just wanted to silence his curiosity in some little way, but how? Sending Pikachu, or any other Pokemon, into the kitchen was suicide. If anyone would go in there, it would have to be Ash.
But...I need a valid reason to go back inside, Ash knew. Misty will rat me out the second she sees me, but what else can I do? Become invisible? Hehe, wouldn't that be easy? I can't exactly disguise myself, and going all "Mission Impossible" may prove to BE impossible with Misty guarding the kitchen.
He was running out of ideas. I need a GOOD reason to go in there. Something 'natural,' a real reason to go-
The gears in Ash's head were already formulating his next scheme as Ash ran back to the front door. Locked or unlocked, entering the house through the back door was suicide. Plus, if Ash entered by the front door, he would be more likely to run into Dawn or Brock first...and they could help in the act.
"Oh no you don't! You're not gonna' trample over this mat again!" Dawn declared as she noticed Ash nostalgically running towards the porch. "If you muck up this mat again, YOU can clean it!"
"I won't dirty it," Ash reassured, being mindful of the mat as he headed for the front door. Just like last time, the boy was nearly choked when Dawn seized his collar again to stop him.
"Do you have a death wish or something?" Dawn asked incredulously. "Or are you just deaf to what Misty yelled at you when she told you to stay outside?!"
Ash bit his tongue as to prevent his mischievous grin from giving himself away. "Oh, I heard her, but..." he started, breaking away from Dawn's hold and fidgeting slightly, all part of his ingenious act. "...I have to go to the bathroom."
He was not surprised by Dawn's "how convenient" look, but she was certainly not about to challenge him. He'll do almost ANYTHING to get back into that kitchen, Dawn thought, though deciding to let the boy pass. "Fine, but for your sake, I'd make it quick." Misty might kill him before he ever reaches the bathroom!
Score! Ash inwardly cheered, trotting into the house and maintaining his charade's composure. Why did he not think about this sooner? The bathroom was the perfect excuse; valid, and Dawn's bathroom was conveniently right next to the kitchen! If I can sneak out the bathroom when Misty's not looking...
"What is this numbskull doing in the house?!" Misty's melodious scream echoed from the kitchen's threshold. Two seconds later, the redhead stomped into the living room before Ash could reach the bathroom. "I told you to stay outside!" she ranted, shooting a killer glare at Dawn on the porch. "And you let him in?!"
"He has to use the bathroom!" Dawn replied whilst raising her hands defensively. Don't pit ME in the middle of this asinine war!
"Oh, how convenient!" Misty snorted, looking up to the Heavens and shaking her head. Running a hand through her red hair, the girl groaned, glaring back down at Ash. "And the bathroom just-so-happens to be next to the kitchen!"
"This has nothing to do with the kitchen," Ash innocently reassured, though Misty's glare did not appear convinced whatsoever. He had to be careful not to overplay his hand. Stay calm...stay valid...she can't STOP me from using the bathroom. "I just have to go, that's all."
Misty glared her eyes deeply into Ash's, not at all convinced, but not very amused, either. An excuse like Ash's was not too funny, but like Dawn, Misty was not about to challenge it. Exhaling in agitation, she grabbed Ash's sleeve and personally guided him to the bathroom, shoving him in there and shutting the door on him. "Fine! But I'm gonna' stay right here until you come out!"
Damn, Ash grunted, biting his lip as he stood in Dawn's tiled bathroom. He could not sneak out of the bathroom if Misty was standing behind the door! If only there could be some distraction...ANYTHING to get her away from the door for a minute, just so I could sneak a peak into the cabinet!
"Listen, is that a voice I hear?"
"It speaks to me loud and clear."
Normally, Ash groaned furiously at such lines. Yet, this time around, he beamed brightly as the obnoxious Team Rocket motto reiterated outside from...somewhere. Perfect timing! Ash did not care 'where' they were, because the second Jessie and James ended their motto, Misty, Dawn, and Brock's voices could be heard. The kids must have been tending to the Team Rocket matter. And the best part was, Ash could hear footsteps...leaving!
The sounds of Pikachu and other Pokemon battling outside resonated, but Ash was not concerned (he rarely was regarding Team Rocket). Carefully opening the bathroom door, he poked his head out, overjoyed to see everyone (Misty included) out by the front porch, battling some Pokemon-stealing contraption of Team Rocket's.
This was Ash's chance. I've only got about two minutes before those three...
"Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off agaaaaaiin!"
"Wooobbuffet!"
Damn, that was quicker than usual. Picking up the pace, Ash ran into the kitchen, heading for the illustrious sugar cabinet. The clock was ticking, and he only had seconds! Of course, seconds were all Ash needed to grab the cabinet's metal handle, grinning victoriously as he gave it a swift tug...
"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!!!"
As if the handle was as hot as a Fire Blast, Ash released his grip. The cabinet door shut on its own, while the guilty boy spun around. Before Ash were three pairs of eyes glaring at him from the kitchen entrance. One particular blue-green pair was glaring exceptionally devilishly. Naturally, Ash broke into a nervous sweat, dreading what Misty might do to him after this stunt.
"Uh..." Ash stammered, instantly spying the back door. "...I-I think I'll let myself out!" he rambled, running for dear life towards the door, unlocking it, and rushing back outside. He almost collided with Pikachu again, but this time around, Ash did not catch himself. Instead of running into his Pokemon, Ash tripped and fell off the porch in his haste, landing on his side. The landing hurt, but compared to what Misty probably would have done to him, it was a small price to pay.
"Pikapi!" Pikachu gasped, rushing over to its fallen master as Ash propped himself back up to his knees. Pikapi was acting especially weird today, and Pikachupi was acting especially angry, too. Two very DANGEROUS combinations, Pikachu again, how was today different from any other day between Ash and Misty?
Brushing himself off, Ash sighed, stealing another glance back at the door he just flew out. Through the door's window, he could see Misty ranting to an exasperated Brock and Dawn. Ash would be a damn fool to go back in there right now. Misty enjoyed tormenting him, but her patience was running thin, too.
Well, the bathroom idea went over like a lead balloon,Ash moaned, patting Pikachu for its concern. I'm gonna' be lucky if she EVER believes me if I say I have to go-
Pikachu blinked, noticing Pikapi's patting hand froze. Blinking, it looked up at its master. For some strange reason, Ash looked as though he had just been overcome by the worst revelation. "Pikapi?"
Little did the mouse know, Pikapi did have a horrible revelation. His stomach made another weird sound, but…it was only now that Ash realized the sounds were not hunger-related. "Oh great," Ash moaned, whimpering slightly as he got to his feet. Pikachu was baffled to see the boy bravely trudge back to the kitchen door and knock on it. Dear lord, did Pikapi have a death wish?
"WHAT DO YOU WANT NOW?!" Misty blasted at the top of her lungs, opening the door but not allowing Ash inside. "What lame-ass excuse did you concoct this time to get in?"
Unlike last time, Ash was not holding back any smirks or signs of mischief. This time around, he was not playing. "I uh...have to go to the bathroom."
Yeah, like I'm gonna' fall for that twice, Misty glared at him, finding little humor in Ash's game anymore. His last stunt was Misty's breaking point. Ash was just acting dumb and immature by now, crossing the cute line and being plain stupid. "Tough crap."
Ash figured it best to avoid that bad little pun. "I'm not kidding this time, Misty."
"'THIS time'?!" Misty interrogated, making Ash shudder as his grave dug deeper. Oh boy, this whole scenario was going to end either very good, or very, very badly.
* To Be Continued *
A/N: Mwahaha…I'm evil, neh? Ash almost always gets the worst end of my stories. So, what do you think thus far? Lots and lots more Ash torture/cuteness is ahead in the second half. What stunts will Sato-Chan pull next? Wait and see.
And yes, I changed this story's timeframe from Season 12 back to Season 10, just because I miss Aipom's adorable hat stealing. Jeez, why is it that nine times out of ten, when characters' Pokemon evolve, the Pokemon lose their quirks? (Eek, I'm glad Wobbuffet can't evolve!). Anyway, I hope nobody minded Aipom's bit. The monkey was so comical before it went to Dawn and evolved. Fanfiction and creative license helps ease the pain.
So, are you having as much fun with this story as I had writing it? Feel free to send a review! I'd love to hear from you wonderful readers. Your reviews help me keep on writing, and I appreciate them very much!
