COPYRIGHT NOTE: I don't own Pokemon / Pocket Monsters. There are several other comical references made in this story. I also don't own the Barbie franchise.
COMMENTS: Alrighty, then! "With Sugar On Top" winds down to its final two chapters. What crazy sugar-high antics will Ash pull this week? Hehe, you might be surprised. ^_^ Enjoy!
* With Sugar On Top *
Aiselne Phoenix
Chapter Three
Apparently, Misty failed to realize that while chocolate and caramel were two of the Eight Wonders of the World, large amounts of the candies tended to backfire in the form of laxatives. It felt almost like a punishment for having too much! Then again, Ash failed to see why Misty was not undergoing this same cruel bodily treatment, since she ate just as much candy as Ash. It was always assumed that Ash was the one with the cast-iron stomach, not Misty. Maybe it's just a girl thing.
Right now, all Ash was certain about was thank God for Brock. The teenager was the only reason Ash was allowed back inside the house when Brock finally stepped in and note, "Uh, Misty, I really don't think he's faking this time." Typical Brock probably knew that 'look' from having to deal with so many little brothers and sisters, especially the ones undergoing potty training.
After that 'lovely' matter, Ash had no qualms about going back outside for some fresh air. At this rate, candy was notappetizing whatsoever. In all honesty, all Ash wanted was to know 'what' was being kept in the cabinet. He did not want to eat it or even see it anymore...just know what the hell it was so his damn curiosity would shut up!
This day is getting worse and worse, Ash groaned as he noticed the sun begin to set. Johanna would return home within the hour, and then everyone would partake in Brock's spaghetti and meatballs dinner. Under any other circumstances, Ash would have hardly been able to wait for the delicious supper, but now… Ash was in no mood for food. Maybe I'll feel better within the hour. He was not sick...the chocolate was just backfiring, though Ash doubted there was much left in him by now. How can something so sweet be so...deadly?!
Another thought struck him, one that made Ash snicker. Kinda' like Misty.
Ash gave himself a quick mental kick after that remark. No, NOTHING like Misty! 'Deadly,' yeah, but Misty's not 'sweet!' She's anything but sweet!
And she's stubborn, too! God, why can't she just TELL me already?! It's not like this is a government secret or she's hiding a million bucks! Candy or not, nothing's worth hiding THIS much! But Ash figured Misty was just pulling this mystery to bug him. She enjoys my suffering, though 'why' she enjoys it I'll never know. It's gotta' be another girl thing.
Figuring he might as well quit while he was behind, Ash decided to finally work on some training to preoccupy himself before dinner. He was feeling a little better, though the boy felt more discouraged than anything else. Ash never was the type to simply let things slide. Maybe I only have myself to blame for this. Ash figured he already knew the answer to that possibility.
"Well...why don't we practice your Volt Tackle, okay Pika-?" Ash blinked, turning around and searching for the rodent. Moments ago, the mouse had been faithfully sitting beside Ash. Come to think of it, Aipom was bouncing around nearby, too, but no longer.
Come to think of it... "Where are all the other Pokemon?" Ash asked himself, noticing he was the only one left in Dawn's backyard.
"Listen, is that a confused voice I hear?"
"It questions me loud and clear."
Sweatdropping, Ash sighed before turning around to the familiar voices. Sure enough, the infamous thieves stood in Dawn's backyard, next to a large net full of all the yard's Pokemon, no less. It didn't take them long to come back for an encore.
"On the wind..." Jessie gushed with a dramatic flick of her long red hair.
"...Past the stars!" James added, punching a fist into the air.
"In your ear!" Meowth sang, hopping on his teammates' shoulders.
"Bringing chaos at a break-neck pace!" Jessie continued, brushing Meowth off.
"Dashing hope, putting fear in its place!" James noted, whipping out a rose and tossing it to Jessie.
"A rose by any other name's just as sweet."
"When everything's worse, our work is complete!"
"Jessie!"
"And it's James!"
"Meowth...now dat's a name!" Meowth included, hopping back on their shoulders.
"Putting the do-gooders in their place!" Jessie posed behind James.
"We're Team Rocket..." James stared, posing identically.
"...And we're in you face!" The threesome declared, Wobbuffet and Mime Jr. popping in for their respective cameos.
Not a second after Mime Jr. finished cutely squealing "Mime! Mime!" the Rocket group shrieked thanks to the one thousand volts Pikachu gave them. Normally, the trio would have blasted off by then, but miraculously; the Thunderbolt only left them charred and semi-conscious on the ground. Meanwhile, the other freed Pokemon casually scampered off, none of them overly concerned whenever it came to the Rocket stooges.
Regaining herself, Jessie stumbled to her feet. "How the hell did the Pokemon get out?!" she yelled, automatically glaring at James and Meowth for possible incompetence, while also taking some frustration out on Wobbuffet before recalling it.
"Maybe we bought a cheap net," James pondered as he returned his precious Mime Jr. to safety. The Rockets had little funds after the twerps blew up their latest mech just an hour ago during their first heist.
"Maybe you guys should drop the motto."
The trio blinked, groaning as they once again saw Pikachu with its rightful owner. Standing casually before the freed Pokemon, Ash raised his eyebrows at the bumbling thieves, though keeping an eye on them in the event they attempted swiping the Pokemon again. Besides, watching others fail was sadistically entertaining for Ash at the moment, who had been bumbling around all day, himself.
Jessie, James, and Meowth had noticed the twerp was not around during their first heist earlier that day. Of course, the trio considered themselves lucky, too, but apparently second time was not the charm. Leave it to that twerp to mess up another flawless plan!
Growling, Jessie ran a hand through her red hair, shooting another glare at James. She could not stand that bratty twerp, but she also had to agree with Ash (for once). "I hate to admit it, but maybe the twerp's right," she wondered. "Maybe if we spent less time reciting the motto and more time paying attention to stealing Pokemon..."
"Maybe you're right, Jess," James figured with a shrug. "Do you know how much time we might save if we didn't do the motto?" he asked rhetorically before doing the math in his head. "Maybe if we saved it for after we got the Pokemon."
"Yeah...but it just doesn't feel right without starting with the motto."
"I hear ya, Jess. It's just not the same."
"We tried theme songs and dance routines. It's really not the same!"
"Maybe if we shorted the motto to, you' know, one-liners?"
"But James, how could we possibly shorten the motto to just one-liners?"
"I know...we have so much to say..."
"YOUS HAVE TOO MUCH TA' SAY!!" Meowth screamed, using a Fury Swipes frenzy on Jessie and James to finally shut them up. "Will you two idiots stop yackin' already?! No wonda' we neva' get Pikachu, or anytin' else! Stop flappin' ya gums!"
And they wonder why they never get anything done, Ash sighed, shaking his head whilst the trio mindlessly argued amongst themselves. It was never too hard to retrieve the stolen Pokemon when Team Rocket got preoccupied with their motto. Sure, the motto was annoying, but it was also the perfect distraction-
…Distraction…
Hold on a minute... Ash thought, feeling another menacing grin pulling his lips as he watched the fighting Jessie, James, and Meowth. When they last showed up, everyone, Misty included, took off after them. Misty totally forgot about me to save the Pokemon. Heavens knew Team Rocket sucked at stealing Pokemon, but they were pretty efficient when it came to providing distractions. Ash also had to admit they were decent masters of disguise…
…For another rare moment, Ash was neverso happy to see the bumbling thieves!
"Hey, Team Rocket!" he called, interrupting the trio's mindless bickering back to the young trainer. "I've got a proposal for you!"
Jessie, James, and Meowth blinked, exchanging "is he serious?" looks. Either this offer would end with them getting Pikachu, or them getting blasted off to the moon (again). "P-proposal?!"
- - - - - - - - - -
*Several huddled whispers later…*
"You need a way to get inside the house…without the redhead twerpette noticing?"
"Yeah."
"I dunno, twerp. What's in it for US?"
"Brock cooked a ton of spaghetti and meatballs."
"Oooooh!! Count me in!"
"Hold ya Horsea, Jimmy! We ain't leavin' without Pika…did you just say SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALLS, twerp?!"
"Yup! All you can eat…but you gotta' get me in the house, first."
"Meeeowth! Count Meowth in! Meowthy loves meatballs, right Jess?"
"Meowth…James…WILL YOU TWO NUMBSKULLS STOP THINKING ABOUT FOOD?!"
"Aaw, come' on Jessie! We're hungry!"
"Argh…so am I, James, but…but…grrrr…dammit, twerp! You'd better not be tricking us!"
"Trust me, I'm not. I just need you guys to help me get into the house without Misty and the others noticing. Can you do that?"
*One huddled second later between Jessie, James, and Meowth…*
"Hehehehehe…alright, twerp. We've got a deal. Don't worry…we know the PERFECT way to get you inside that house. Hehehe…"
- - - - - - - - - -
Dawn's pink Poketch read 18:52. "Mom's running late..." she sighed to nobody in particular, kneeling down in the kitchen to give a jumpy Pachirisu the last Poffin. Now I'M running out of Poffins. I hope Mom bought a LOT of ingredients. Johanna said she would return by six-thirty, and it was almost seven o'clock. Brock's spaghetti and meatballs were already getting cold on the kitchen table, and the cookies (which did not come out too bad, if Dawn did say so herself) were finished and placed in a basket on the counter. Everything was set and ready to go, except Johanna had yet to return home.
"You don't think she got stuck in traffic, do you?" Misty asked as she and Azuril came into the kitchen to check on Dawn. Despite the coordinator's favorite line, "no need to worry," Dawn was worrying right now. Johanna was only a half-hour late, and there could be rush hour, though Misty wondered if a town like Twinleaf had rush hour traffic like Cerulean City.
Sighing again, Dawn got up, shrugging. "Maybe, or the groomers got backed up." There were plenty of possibilities, both good and bad, explaining why Johanna was tardy. Dawn just hoped whatever the reason was it was not something bad.
"Honey, I'm home!"
Perking at the call, Dawn and Misty ran out of the kitchen into the living room. Brock had just finished dusting when the front door opened. The three kids stopped as they took note of the woman in the doorway; navy blue hair, identical to Dawn's, and in her arms was Glameow…who was not looking too good at the moment.
"...Mom?!" Dawn asked, raising an eyebrow as she made her way over to the woman. Normally, Dawn would have greeted Johanna with a hug, but...something did not seem quite right. For one thing, Johanna's hair looked...bunched up, like a bun, rather than its usual style.
Plus, Glameow was looking odd, too. "Uh...my God, what happened to Glameow?!" Dawn gasped, her blue eyes widening in shock at the purple cat. For some odd reason, Glameow's face looked rounder than usual, and it's entire body looked smaller for some ungodly reason. That, and its tail was shorter and looked like someone painfully wrapped it around a pole, rather than retaining its normal curl. "I thought you took it to the groomers," Dawn recalled, not wanting to sound rude, but... "It looks...horrible."
"Hey!" Glameow shouted before 'Johanna' painfully pinched its backside and hissed a "shutup,Meowth!" under her breath, coercing the cat to remember itself. "Uh...I mean, Glameow! Glam!" the cat meowed, not sounding anywhere near as melodious as a real Glameow.
"Glameow sounds sick," Brock noted as he and Misty came behind Dawn, observing the ill-looking cat and placing a hand over its nervous head. "And it's warm, too."
"Uh...well..." 'Johanna' stammered, trying to come up with an excuse. "You see, Glameow got sick at the groomers."
Dawn's face fell sympathetically. "Aw, poor thing," she cooed, taking her mother's cat into her arms and cradling it. Glameow must have really been sick, because it did not even feel like Dawn was holding a 'real' Glameow. "It's fur feels...stiffer." Mom pampers Glameow like crazy, and its fur is usually silky smooth.
Knowing their cover would be close to ruined if they did not hurry, 'Johanna' snatched 'Glameow' from Dawn and told it to 'now run along like a good Glameow' (which made her look more suspicious for ignoring her Pokemon's ill condition). Stay calm! "Oh, and you'll never guess who I bumped into on my way home, sweetie," 'Johanna' started, turning to her side to unveil a man standing next to her.
"P-professor Rowan?!" Dawn gasped in shock at the professor.
"Well hello, Dawn," Rowan greeted, his voice sounding rather forced, as if he had a cold. Maybe something's going around, Dawn pondered for a moment before shaking his hand, blinking at how...smooth it felt. Men at the professor's age had rougher skin, but...Professor Rowan's was...remarkably soft. Hand cream, maybe? The skin products of today can work miracles, though I didn't think they worked THIS well.
"Wow, professor," Dawn heard Brock compliment from behind her. "You're looking good. You look thirty years younger!"
"Oh stop it!" 'Rowan' gushed with a wave of his hand, noticing a few "don't blow this" looks coming from 'Johanna's' direction. "I, uh...just had cosmetic surgery!"
The three kids were impressed. The professor did look thirty years younger. In fact, he looked more like an older teenager with a fake beard on! His gray hair was longer and his skin looked much younger. "Wow..." Brock complimented, hoping he could look that good once he reached Rowan's age. I'd never have to worry about girls again! "Good for you." Maybe him and Dawn's mom are going out...hehe.
'Johanna' decided to butt in. "Professor Rowan just happened to be in the neighborhood, so..."
"'In the neighborhood'?!" Dawn questioned curiously. "He lives in Sandgem Town, Mom!" Sandgem was not excruciatingly far away, but certainly not a hop, skip, and a jump from Twinleaf, either. It would take at least the vast majority of a day to make the trip.
"I uh..." 'Rowan' stammered, getting more "do something" glares from 'Johanna'. "...Oh! I wanted to see how your Pokemon were doing, and I heard you were visiting Jes-" he choked when 'Johanna' painfully jabbed his side. Can we be anymore obvious?! "...I-I mean Johanna, your mother!" he corrected nervously, breaking into a sweat.
"Oh..." Dawn blinked. "...Well, you didn't have to come all this way, Professor. You should've called. Me and my friends would have stopped by tomorrow."
Dawn's reminder of "friends" instantly spurred 'Johanna' and 'Rowan's attentions as the adults exchanged discreet grins. "Speaking of friends..." 'Johanna' started, her and the professor turning to their final colleague. "There's someone we'd like you to meet, Dawn dear."
Mom never used to call me 'Dawn dear' before, Dawn strangely thought. But before the girl could read any further, Dawn and her friends blinked, turning to see the other companion patiently standing behind 'Johanna' and professor. There was a young girl behind them, clad in a pink (of all colors) dress, with a matching headband in her long blonde hair.
"This is Barbara!" 'Johanna' introduced, patting the blonde's hair like a pet, causing the little girl to scrunch her face awkwardly. "She just moved in down the street and doesn't know anybody in town yet. She works at the groomers and I just insisted she met you and your friends, Dawn!"
Blinking curiously, Dawn's blue eyes darted between her mother and the new girl. Well, this 'Barbara' certainly looked shy, though it was only natural since she was new in Twinleaf. Putting on a friendly smile, Dawn extended a hand to the timid blonde. "Well, nice to meet you, Barbara," the navy-haired girl chirped pleasantly, shaking the shy Barbara's sweaty hand. She's so nervous, poor girl. "My name's Dawn. I'm a Pokemon coordinator. And these are my friends, Brock and Misty," Dawn introduced to her friends on each side.
"Um…" Barbara muttered softly, her voice barely audible and causing Dawn, Brock, and Misty to lean closer to hear. Naturally, the shy little Barbara cringed over the awkward attention, squeaking "…H-hi."
"You sure are a shy young lady," Brock observed, causing Misty and Barbara to blink strangely at his words. Flashing the blonde a smile, the teenager extended his own hand to the sheepish girl, firmly shaking Barbara's warm hand. "By the way, are you a breeder? Dawn's mom said you worked at the Pokemon groomers."
For a moment, Dawn and Misty wondered if Brock was indirectly attempting to hit on Barbara. Sure, the blonde girl was cute, but she was a little young for Brock's age. Then again, heavens knew Brock was desperate. Judging by the bullets Barbara was sweating, the poor blonde did not seem to be enjoying the direction this conversation was headed.
Groaning, Misty was about to step in, before blushy Brock beat her to the punch line. Whipping out a pen and paper pad, the teenager leaned closer to the terrified Barbara. "You wouldn't happen to know the phone numbers of other breeders, would you? Say, pretty young ladies closer to fifteen…my age…do you have an older sister-OW!!"
Fortunately, Misty and Barbara had nothing to worry about. Croagunk stepped in at the perfect time and sent Brock on his merry way with a Poison Jab. Thank God.
"Well anyway..." Dawn sweatdropped as Croagunk dragged Brock away into the kitchen, reminding Dawn of the dinner still awaiting them. "Um, why don't we talk over dinner?" she suggested, finally inviting the three arrivals further into the house. "Brock made spaghetti and meatballs, and we also cooked up some cookies...for you, Mom," Dawn smile, also noting 'Rowan' and 'Barbara'. "Though you two are more than welcomed to join us, too."
BINGO!! 'Johanna', 'Rowan', and 'Barbara' discreetly exchanged victorious grins before accepting Dawn's proposal. While 'Johanna' and 'Rowan' ran into the kitchen (famished and hardly waiting to taste the prophesized spaghetti and meatballs), Dawn followed them, accompanied by 'Barbara' and...
"You look very familiar," Misty observed carefully, making 'Barbara' shudder. "Have we met somewhere before?"
Don't blow this! DON'T blow this! "Uh...maybe you met my sister," 'Barbara' shrugged nervously, trying to get away from the curious redhead before it was too late.
"YOU DO HAVE A SISTER?!" a miraculously-recovered Brock screamed from the kitchen, before Croagunk silenced him again. Dawn and Misty just rolled their eyes and shook their heads. Brock would never change, would he?
Sweatdropping, and sweating underneath the pink poofy dress, 'Barbara' swallowed nervously. "Uh...may I use your bathroom before we eat?"
"Oh sure," Dawn smiled back with a nod, pointing in the bathroom's direction. "Just don't be long, cause' the food's a little cold already," she admitted, though it was through no fault of her own. Nudging 'Barbara' towards her bathroom, Dawn giggled to her new friend. "I'll save you a seat, okay Barbie?"
'Barbara' nearly tripped on the way to the bathroom, making Misty give 'Barbara' a weird look as the blonde disappeared into the bathroom. No doubt, that Barbara character was a weird little girl. Of course, Misty knew it would be rude to make assumptions about a person she met five minutes ago. However, Misty could not help but feel nostalgic irony when she was around 'Barbara'…as if this moment happened once before...
…Nah, Misty shook her red head as she joined the others into the kitchen. Ash is outside with his Pokemon. It couldn't be!
* To Be Continued in the Last Chapter *
A/N: Hehehehehe. I couldn't resist! I just *adore* the Celadon City episodes (readers of "It's Her Party, and She'll Cry If I Want To" probably remember the Celadon jokes ^_^). Classics! Why didn't I use the name "Ashley"? Well, we've gotta' have some originality, here (plus, the Barbie joke was too good to pass up!).
Oh, and please don't send me whiny reviews over how Dawn mistaken her mom's identity. Think about it, folks: it took May and Max a while to realize Jessie and James posed as Norman and Caroline back in Advanced Generation! James once posed as Professor Oak in the Johto series, and it took a while for the twerps to notice that, too. So please don't claim I'm portraying the cast as idiots, when this isn't the first time Team Rocket has duped the twerps like this. I base my character portrayals solely on how the kids are portrayed in the anime.
The final chapter will be posted later this week. I realize my updates have been rather quick for this story. That's actually because the friend I've dedicated this fic to has been hounding me to keep updating (ignorant to the fact that I have 'other' things to do, on top of owning temperamental internet access. *sighs* I'd normally be mad at her, but she's been kind enough to let me use her computer to update this story quicker, which seems only fair). I normally don't update this fast, so savor it everyone!
While I'm at it, thanks to everyone who's reviewed this story so far! I love hearing from my readers! ^_^ I hope you're continuing to enjoy this fic, and hope you'll enjoy it's approaching conclusion.
