Chapter 32
"Goodbye My Lover"
Hermione opened one eye and looked at the clock. It was two o'clock in the morning. She yarned as she looked over her shoulder at Draco who was breathing lightly on her neck. She smiled and slowly moved his arm from around her waist trying not to wake him up. They had gone out for dinner the night before followed by wild passionate sex topped off with Hermione reading aloud from "Romeo and Juliet" and Draco begging for a sleeping potion. He usually took a sleeping potion when she was sleeping over so that he wouldn't disturb her seeing as he was usually working during the time most people sleep. Of course it was a light potion given the idea was for him to sleep the night, not knock him out for days. Hermione stood slowly as Draco grunted and rolled over. She tip toed to the door and quietly pulled it open. She crept across the hall and into the bathroom.
As she washed her hands it didn't even occur to her that it was Friday night, well early Saturday morning and Ron would be home. She knew he wouldn't have heard her and Draco come in seeing as they used the window and there is an imperturbable charm permanently on his room. Ron was probably awake and he didn't like her to be there while he was and she really didn't want to start a fight. She sighed and looked at her reflection in the mirror. She looked different, besides the fact that she was sleeping with her hair down instead of in a bun on top of her head. Or that fact that she was wearing a black slip night gown with small straps and barely reached her knees and her usual sleeping attire was an old Manchester United tee and baggy sweats she got out of the men's department at a sporting goods store. Her naturally pink cheeks seemed brighter, her complexion had never been so clear, she never worried about how bushy her hair actually was so much anymore, and she had more energy, and always felt like she was on a cloud. I can't believe the cause is Draco Malfoy. She opened the bathroom door smiling at the thought as Ron opened his bedroom door at the same time…
"Ron!" She said surprised, he shook his head and slammed his door closed. "Ron!" Hermione said moving to his door and knocking on it, "please don't do this talk to me," she pleaded.
Draco rolled over when he felt Hermione shift in the bed next to him, he heard the door creak open and extended his arm to his right to see if Hermione was still laying there or if the door really did open. He opened one eye and saw a small light coming through his slightly open bedroom door. The hall was dark and the light was coming from under the bathroom door across the hall. He yarned and rolled back over and closed his eyes. He heard the bathroom door open and then heard Hermione say Ron's name. He opened both his eyes, as he heard Hermione knocking on Ron's door pleading. He rolled back over as the hall filled with light from Ron's room signaling he opened the door and his loud angry voice filled the air…
Hermione was leaning on the door and almost lost her balance as Ron yanked it open violently.
"You want to talk? Let's talk!" He said stepping into her face. Hermione took a step back she couldn't remember Ron looking so mad. "Let's talk about the fact that you're a traitor! The world almost ended because of Voldemort and his Death Eaters, they planned on killing you, not to mention murdered my brother! You're shagging one of the worst ones! He tried to kill me Hermione! Your best friend! He tried to kill Dumbledore! He let the Death Eaters into Hogwarts! Fenrir Greyback mutilated my brother's face! Why? Because your boyfriend let the Death Eaters into the school," he advanced on Hermione as she began to move backwards, "Hermione Granger the sweet innocence clever girl isn't so clever anymore you threw that away the moment you jumped in the sack with Malfoy! What's next Hermione bed hopping with Criminals or wealthy men?" He spat
Hermione immediately slapped him in the face, "Don't you ever speak to me like that again!"
"I don't plan on it so you can take your filthy Mudblood ass back to Malfoy," he glared holding his cheek. Hermione's heart stopped, Ron's eyes suddenly widen as he went flying backwards through the doorway of his room and smashed against the back wall covered in windows. He slid down to the ground with glass falling in around him…
The moment Ron began shouting at Hermione Draco got up from the bed and went to the door to listen. He couldn't believe Ron had the courage to say such things to Hermione and felt an awful twinge of guilt because he took pride in the fact that he may be rubbing off on him. From his position behind the door he could look through the crack to see their faces but he knew Hermione was mortified and felt even more guilt for the pride. Then he went into his spiel on bed hopping and Draco began to search for his wand to give Ron a good hex. He spotted it on the nightstand as he heard Hermione's hand connect with Ron's face and he smiled. Yes Draco Malfoy genuinely smiled. He stepped forward to get his wand when Ron called Hermione a Mudblood. He didn't know what did it or where all the power came from but there was no time to get his wand, he yanked open the door and it slammed against the wall behind it, held up his hand towards Ron and shouted…
"Stupefy maximus!" Ron went flying back through his open bedroom door and slammed against the back wall of his room that was covered in windows. They all shook as the one he hit came crashing in on him, "you fucking bastard!" Draco yelled as he charged into the room and pulled Ron to his feet and punched him only to send him back down to the ground. He could never do anything that powerful wandlessly before and he didn't know how he could do it now, but he was more concerned with beating the shit out of Ron.
Ron was hurled over gasping for air, "you taught her wandless magic," he mumbled just to be kicked in the stomach by Draco.
"STOP IT!" Hermione said running into the room and pulling on Draco's arm, "STOP!" she said pulling him away from the curled up body of Ron. She bent down next to Ron, "are you okay?"
Ron groaned in pain and looked up at her and glared, Hermione repeated, "are you okay?" Ron huffed and turned his face from her, "Fine!" Hermione stood and pulled Draco who had been standing in the door out of Ron's room and back to his.
"Are you…" be begun once they were in his room with the door locked. He was going to ask if she was alright but the fact that she flung herself at him said it all. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. He nestled his face into her neck as he heard her start whimpering.
"That's your favorite spot," she whispered.
He smiled, although she couldn't see his face he was sure she knew that he was. He did love to bury his face in her neck, she smelled great, tasted the sweetest there, and he loved the way her bushy brown curls tickled his cheek. He pulled away from her, "are you okay," he said looking down at her surprised she wasn't crying, "No tears?"
"I don't have the energy," she let go of Draco and sat down on the bed. "Tonight I have truly lost one of my best friends..."
_THE FUCKING TRUTH_
The stars are shining brightly in London tonight, its 7pm and a week until Halloween and with Halloween right around the corner I can't wait for the wicked parties a foot! Also we have the Magical Music Award coming up in January and I will be playing the best of the nominees for the next couple of months. Here's Lucy Wales singing "a dead love" which is nominated for most sinister song. I'm Lee Jordan and you're listening to the fucking truth!
"I don't know if I would call "A Dead Love" a sinister song," said Draco.
"It's not as creepy as some but there is definitely a lot of hatred behind it," commented Hermione.
"Yeah, not many people wish death on their significant other," Padma chuckled. Hermione and Draco joined Padma and Aidan at his home in Kenmare for dinner.
"Do you always listen to the wireless during dinner," asked Draco raising an eyebrow.
"Yes, Padma can't seem to get enough for the Fucking Truth," Aidan answered and turned to Padma with a mysterious smile, "should I be concerned dear."
"Yes, I'm having an affair with the wireless network," they all laughed at her response. "Anyway since you cooked I will take care of these dishes," said Padma with a wave of her wand.
"I'll give you a hand," said Hermione following Padma into the kitchen, where the dishes were already in the sink and had begun scrubbing themselves.
"Aidan really is an excellent cook," said Hermione leaning against one of the counters.
"Apparently he always had aspirations of being a chief but Quidditch paid better and cooking simply became a hobby," Padma grabbed the first dish when it was clean and began to dry it off.
"Must be awful to put what you really want second in life," Hermione sighed
Padma turned to look at Hermione, "I'm glad you didn't."
"What do you mean," she asked confused
"You wanted to be with Draco and just because Ron said he wouldn't talk to you anymore you still stayed with him. You stuck with or in this case who you wanted," she smiled slightly. "Not many people are willing to do that. They don't want to venture off into the unknown."
Hermione looked down, "Being with Draco may have put all of my friendships at risk but I wouldn't change being with him for the world but I also lost someone I loved."
"Ron will come around," Padma reassured her
"Sometimes I'm not sure, it's been almost two months since he found out and Draco is the person he hates most in the world and I was the one he loved most," She sighed. "He may not get over this one… And then after this morning…"
"What happened this morning?"
"Well Ron called me a Mudblood and insinuated I'm a slut and then Draco blasted him through the hall causing a window to shatter and the kicking the crap out of him," she finished.
"And why do you want to talk to Ron again?" Padma asked
Hermione sighed, "Sometimes I don't know myself but then I think about the situation and I remember that's why Ron is behaving this way and all the things he said about Draco before he got to the derogatory part about me was true…."
"Well if he really loves you as much as he claims he'll let you go," Padma said simply. "Seeing the one you love happy is always enough. The twinkle in their eye, the way they fluster a bit every time their special person is around, or just how happy they seem when they're with their friends and family."
"I wish it was that easy."
"It is. People say love is so hard but really it's not. You either love or you don't. Whatever your heart tells you is the answer not what your mind reasons," Padma said as she put the dishes back in the cupboard with a flick of her wand.
"My heart is telling me that I love Ron…" she looked up a Padma, "but it's time to be with Draco."
"So when are you two going to tie the knot," asked Draco. He and Aidan were sitting in the living room having an after dinner brandy.
"I don't know whenever we have time. She's always swamped with work and I'm always at practice. Usually there are papers spread across the dining room table as we eat. Whatever she's translating this week and my plays for the upcoming game," he chuckled. "You and Hermione coming was definitely a change of pace."
"Happy to be of service," he took a sip of his drink. "Anything in those plays you were going over to ensure a win of the League Cup," inquired Draco nonchalantly.
Aidan laughed, "I sure hope so. But I can't reveal the team secrets, you may be a spy."
"Yes, I came here tonight to get information for the Falmouth Falcons," smirked Draco
"I knew you were up to something."
"I always am… Can you point me in the direction of the facilities," said Draco rising from his seat.
"It's the third door on the right," he said pointing to the hall entry.
Draco nodded his head in acknowledgment. He walked down the hall and had every intention of going to the bathroom, but the kitchen door was cracked a bit and something caught his ear. He heard Padma saying something about either you love or you don't and ultimately your heart tells you and not your mind or something, in that very Padma knows all way. He held his breathe as he heard Hermione speak…
"My heart is telling me I love Ron…" Draco eyes widened, then narrowed and had to restrain himself from punching the wall. He stormed back to the living room, he wasn't sure if he wanted to cry or scream. She told me she could possibly love me when she's been in love with Weasel all along!
"What's wrong," asked Aidan rising from his seat at the sight of Draco.
"Nothing, I just forgot I had to do something," he said leaving the room again this time towards the front door.
"Wait. What about Hermione," he asked confused following him?
"Tell her to listen to her heart," he sneered as he threw on his coat and slammed the front door behind him.
"What's all the commotion," Padma asked coming from the kitchen and rushing up the hall, with Hermione on her heals.
"Draco left he said he forgot about something, but he seemed extremely upset," Aidan explained.
"What happened," asked Hermione, pulling on her coat to follow him?
Aidan shrugged, "don't know. He went to the bathroom and came back furious."
Hermione furrowed her brow in confusion, "I'll go talk to him,"
"I think you might want to let him cool down," Padma suggested, "he must have passed the kitchen on his way to the bathroom."
"Which means he heard what I said! I have to talk to him," Hermione said heading for the door
"But would you talk to you after what you probably only heard part of," said Padma. "He did say anything?"
"I asked if he was okay he said he had forgotten something. When I asked him what I should tell Hermione, he said to tell her to follow her heart," said Aidan.
Hermione sighed, "I suppose your right, I'll give him a few minutes."
"Come sit down have a drink," said Aidan leading them into the sitting room. "May I ask what the discussion was about that got Mr. Malfoy so riled?"
"Aidan!" Padma scolded for his prying.
"It's fine," Hermione ran her hands over her face. "We were talking about my decision to be with Draco and I'm assuming that he heard the part where I said my heart is telling me I love Ron"
"Oh, well that explains it"
"No I'll always love Ron he's my best friend, well was but I'm not in love with him," explained Hermione
"Do you love Draco?"
"Aidan! That's enough." Padma said annoyed, "stop prying"
"Sorry I just thought it was the obvious question."
"Well please keep the obvious questions to yourself"
"I don't know," Hermione said looking down at her hands. "I want to be with him so badly and I care about him. I have this feeling like if I can't have this then I won't survive and I've been fighting so hard for this relationship."
"Are you fighting for Draco or for the right to be with him?" Asked Aidan
"Aidan!"
Hermione looked up at Aidan, "no, he's right. I have to make some choices." She stood, "thank you both for dinner, good night," she headed for the door.
_THE ROOF OF DRACO'S FLAT_
How could she! I opened up to her and she is still in love with that good for nothing, red haired Weasel twit! Fuck, Fuck, Fuck! Draco jumped up and down in fury. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed. I love her! I Draco Malfoy fell in with a muggle born! Perhaps I fell and hit my head I would never stoup that low! Or it could be because she is the most tolerant, understanding, caring, and extremely sexy person I have ever meant. "Why me?" Maybe she is using me just like Weasel and Potty thought! But she did sleep with me and I have gotten to know her quite well and Hermione wouldn't just jump in the sack with anyone for the sake of it. "Shit!" he jumped out of his skin at the sound of someone apparating.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you. Why'd you run off," she asked approaching him looking concerned.
"Why did you take so long to notice," he retorted
"I thought I give you a few minutes to cool off."
"Well I'm not cool and I'm not going to be cool for quite some time. So we can move back to the first question as to why I ran off and if you assumed I needed time to cool off then you know why I disappeared," he sneered crossing his arms.
"I think you misunderstood…." she moved closer to him
He took a step back, "I heard you telling Padma that your heart is telling you that you love Ron."
"How much of that conversation did you hear?"
"I heard enough!"
"Obviously you didn't!" She could feel herself getting angry she couldn't believe she had to stand here and defend her feelings for Draco to Draco.
"Yes, I did! You're still in love with him! What was this some kind of game? What? Malfoy hurt me so now I'll screw around with his heart for revenge?" he shouted
"No! How could you even think that?"
He snorted, "Do you love me?" Hermione looked down, "it's not a hard question either you do or don't."
"It's not that simple… it takes time"
"You're absolutely right but over this past year or so I've got the chance to know you I fell in love and I know you feel something for me but that's not enough. I'm the stupid one in this scenario because I failed to notice what was right in front of me…. You still love Weasley."
Hermione's eyes glazed over, "I am not in love with Ron…"
"Yeah you are and even after what he said to you last night…"
"You called me a Mudblood on a regular basis!" She defended
"I may have said some pretty nasty things to you in my time but honestly Hermione I don't recall me being your best friend or calling you a slut! It's completely different when those words come from a person who's so close to you!"
"People change! You've use the word more times than I can count and have become a better person, well to me anyway. I care about you so much…"
"But you care about Weasel more…"
"No! Differently, you became this huge part of my life and he became a git!" She took his hand in hers and interlocked their fingers.
"I'm having a hard time believing that." He dropped her hand, "Padma was right it's what your heart tells you and it's telling you you're in love with Weasel. I will not be second to Ronald Weasley!"
"You aren't second to him! He's just part of the past…"
Draco cut her off, "And obviously a huge part of the future you have planned in your mind! But here's the thing Hermione you can't have it all!"
"I know…"
"No you don't! For someone so clever did you ever stop to think about what being with me meant? That you are with me, not him but me! It has to be me or Ron because he's going to keep you cut out of his life as long as you're with me! And I refuse to stand by and sneak around with you or not go certain places because of how some people feel about seeing us together just to protect the feelings of Weasel!"
"I may have been wrong to hide this from him…"
He cut her off again, "it's always about him…"
She interjected violently, "and how it made you feel to have to keep part of your life secret for my sake! But I am not in love with Ron! You only heard part of that conversation!" She said taking a couple steps towards him.
"Spare me the details that I am sure were about the lovely life you two will have together," he rolled his eyes and stepped farther away from her.
"I didn't say anything like that!"
"Let's settle this right now! Is it going to be me or him?" He crossed his arms. His face was impartial but inside he was crying, praying, and pleading that she would choose him. He could hear his heart beating in his ears. He watched as the tears began to fall from her glazed eyes, she looked him straight in the eye for awhile and open and closed her mouth as if she wanted to say something. She always had this particular look that she saved just for him, he knew it well and he loved her even more for it. She had it on her face right now although covered in tears, as long as she keeps that look, he thought still hoping she would choose him. Please choose me, is all he kept saying in his head, please choose me. She looked down, the sound of his heart beating got louder, and when she looks up the look will still be there.
Hermione looked up at Draco, his heart stopped, it's gone, "I can't make a decision between you two, I need to have you both in my life," she cried.
"I suppose I get it now, love is the one you're willing to hit rock bottom with and you and I haven't quite made it there and we won't because you're scared... I have never loved anyone but you. I often feel as if I can never love anyone but you," He turned and headed towards the fire escape, as tears he could no longer hold began to escape his eyes.
Hermione felt the tears begin to stream down her face even harder. She ran after Draco and grabbed him by the arm to try and turn him, "wait! Let me explain!"
Draco wrenched his arm free and whirled around, he was crying he got in Hermione face and she took a step back in surprise and a bit scared, "DON'T YOU DARE CRY! I'm the one getting my heart ripped out!" He hissed, then turned around and headed down the fire escape. Hermione heard the window slam and the lock click.
"Goodbye My Lover" James Blunt
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