All characters are Stephenie Meyers. I don't own them I wish I did ;o)

I should be doing my Christmas ornaments but I am typing this just for all you guys! I need to get to work on my ornaments – the orders are piling up. But I can't stay away from typing this all for you. You are all probably dying to know what is going on next so here you go. I am going to be quiet and let you read.

Here is the last little bit from the previous chapter.

"I was thinking when the last time we had actually did this together."

Jasper stopped and I had him thinking as well. I knew he would settle on the party. He had been doing that for four long years. His thoughts bounced around till it finally came to just before the party. We had all of us gone hunting the day before Bella's party. Jasper had been doing well with Bella in the house all the time. Plus all of us where very excited about the party Alice had planned for Bella.

"It was before the party Edward." He finally said out loud.

"It's not your fault Jasper. Please don't think it is. I've been telling you for four long years it is not your fault." I said earnestly.

"You tell me that but all the same I still think so."

I looked at him and watched his expression change. He was trying to influence himself with his emotions. He was conflicted now but changed moments later. I wondered if he would forgive himself. I hoped he would. I wasn't holding my breath for right now.

~munchkin1978



Why?

Chapter 14

We returned as the ladies had returned. Bella was smiling and looked beautiful as ever. Her eyes were bright and shining, the brown showing flecks of gold already. Her hair was up and out of her face, showing off her pale skin and her flushed cheeks as she finally realized I was starring at her. I smiled at her and she came to me carrying some shopping bags.

"Did you have fun?"

"Yes they kept me distracted."

"Good. We have hunted so the ladies can go now if they want."

"I can tell your eyes are liquid."

She always knew when I needed to hunt. I was always pushing it further and further and that was almost always the reason for my moods. I was glad to see that Bella wasn't sad at the moment but I'm sure that would change.

"What did you buy?" I asked drawing her attention back to the bags.

"Dress clothes. Alice said I needed dress clothes."

"Looks like you have more than just one set."

"I apparently can't wear the same thing twice." She grumbled under her breath.

Bella laughed the moment my head shook at her. I took the bags from her and carried them inside for her. She followed not wanting to stay outside. She was keeping up with me as I headed up the stairs to change from my hunting clothes. I didn't want to smell like the woods and animal blood. She didn't like the smell of any blood. I watched Bella sit on the bed and wait for me. I headed into the closet just out of view of her. I could hear the rustling on the bed and turned to pay attention to what I was doing.

I quickly stripped out of my clothing and pulled on a pair of jeans. I grabbed a dark button down shirt and walked out of the closet as I put my arm through the hole. I was about to do up the buttons when I felt the heat radiating off her. She was blushing and watching me.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"You can tell me anything Bella."

"I just wondered that's all."

"Wondered what?" I abandoned doing up the buttons now. She had me distracted.

"Wondered if we ever could be together, together."

I knew what she was getting at. I looked at her and spoke. "What brought this on?"

"I was listening to Alice and Rosalie talk. They were trying to distract me."

I'd have to have a talk with those two. I searched for their thoughts and nothing. They had gone hunting already.

"Bella I could hurt you, you do realize that."

"I know you wouldn't Edward." She said her eyes telling me she knew I wouldn't.

I went and sat beside her on the bed rolling my sleeves as I sat. I still hadn't done the buttons u when I turned to her again. "Bella I want you. God I want you that way but I could hurt you and I don't want to do that. I love you too much to do that."

"Edward you wouldn't hurt me. Your sub conscience wouldn't let you. I know you wouldn't."

"Bella you don't know that."

She stood up and placed her self in front of me and looked at me. Her brown eyes searching mine. I turned away as my thoughts started to catch up.

"Look at me Edward. I know you wouldn't hurt me. Don't ask me how I know. I just do. Do you not trust me?"

"Of course I do Bella. It's me I don't trust." I really didn't trust myself if I were put in that situation. I've had to push the thought of being with Bella that way aside for the last few years.

"Just please trust me okay."

She looked at me and her eyes twinkling all while she was dazzling me. She had turned my dazzling her around on me. I watched her carefully, reading her face as she tucked the loose strands of hair behind her ears. I reached for her waist with my hands and pulled her close and laid my head on her stomach. I listened to her heart beat faster than ever. She quickly pulled back and I saw her expression had changed. I knew what she wanted.

"Bella, I could….." She cut me off with one of her kisses. A kiss that told me again what she wanted.

I kissed her back. This is what I wanted. I wanted her. I pulled her closer as she continued to kiss me. My mind was telling me this wasn't right. It was the wrong time. She was grieving. My body told me otherwise. I kept the simple thought that I could hurt her in the fore-front incase I had gone too far. Which the likely hood of that happening was very great.

"You're sure?" I asked in the moment she needed to catch her breath.

She nodded. She was giving me permission to do this in her time of sorrow. I should have waited but my past thoughts were now forgotten. I stood up and picked her up and placed her on the bed. Her brown locks sprawling out behind her like a blanket. She didn't care. She only had eyes for me. She was watching me as I took a deep breath. I removed my half done up shirt and she instantly ran her hands over my chest. She gasped at how cold my skin was to her flaming skin. She left trails of heat down my chest that felt etched into my skin. Pieces of clothing came off in urgency now and I wrapped her in a blanket so she wouldn't freeze with the skin contact.

"You're sure you want this?" I couldn't believe I was asking again. I wanted this.

"Yes Edward. I want you. I want to feel you. I want you, I've always wanted you."

She didn't need to say anymore. I plunged into her not waiting for a signal. I held my self up over her watching for it just incase. I had stopped at her virginity. She was still a virgin after all these years. I watched her face as she adjusted to me being inside her.

"It will hurt for a moment, love." I whispered to her as I continued. She nodded in agreement and as if she knew she braced her self for it. She yelped out and cried into my shoulder. The cry stopped a moment later as I continued to move inside her. All I could smell was her blood. My heroin. I could feel it running between us as we moved. I felt the venom pooling in my mouth as the scent continued to waft around us. I would not do this to her now. I had just hunted. The freesia scent wafted over us again like it was stuck in my nose. I will not do this now. I will not do this now. I kept telling myself.

Bella arched her back as I entered her again and again. The tightness I felt moments later were met with her crying out in pleasure. There was no more sadness in her at the moment. She was happy. She was with me. I watched her face as I kissed her. Her eyes closed as she kissed me back. I could feel her lips swelling. If I could feel them, then certainly she could. This union wouldn't last much longer I could sense her climax rising as much as I could sense mine. She was getting tighter and tighter until I couldn't stand it any longer. I bit into the pillow that lay beside her, muffling my cry of passion and the venom leaking from my mouth. I didn't want to bite her. Once I bit the pillow I realized how much control I actually had.

I collapsed beside her and wrapped her in the blanket that she was already half wrapped in. She gasped and let out her breath as I tucked her in my arms.

"Bella, love what brought…." I asked breaking the afterglow silence.

"Shhh Edward. It was time. It should have happened a long time ago. Before you ask and I know you will, No you didn't hurt me. You were incredible. I am glad it was you and not someone else. I'm happy to have you back in my life. I may be grieving but I needed that. I needed to feel you. I needed to be with you completely."

She had known I wouldn't hurt her. She had been right. She told me to trust her. I did.

"I'm glad I didn't hurt you. You knew I wouldn't." I said quietly to her.

"I know things Edward…. Well when it comes to you I know."

I wrapped her up again like a cocoon and lay beside her just holding her. I was beyond happy I didn't hurt her. I wanted her to be safe around me. I wanted her to be happy. I could sense the blood rushing to her cheeks as she drifted to sleep. She must have been thinking to moments before. I smiled and let her sleep. She deserved it.

About an hour or so later I woke Bella up. Her phone was ringing. She sat up with the blanket wrapped around her and answered it. I took my leave and re-dressed only keeping a light sense on the conversation. I didn't want to intrude incase it was family. When I heard her voice raise that was when I came back out. I could slightly hear the conversation on the other end. The voice I knew. It was on that I had stopped from attacking us earlier today.

"No…..It is my right to be with who I want…… Charlie wouldn't condone this from you…. Don't you dare…..Your lucky Charlie thought of you like a son………Stop it Jacob. Stop it right now. I will not……"

She flipped the phone shut and had thrown it across the bed. I caught it before it shattered on the ground below.

"Bella, love, are you alright?"

"No… I wish I could un-invite people to funerals. He is not going to play nice Edward."

"Let me worry about him." I would break the child in half if he ruined Charlie's funeral. If he even had thoughts of Bella while she was grieving.

I went and placed the phone on the table across from the bed. It rang again and I picked it up to hand it back to her but glancing at the caller id as I did. It was the dog again. I took the phone and answered it without hesitating in the slightest.

"Jacob Black… You better behave at Charlie's funeral or I will break you in half. I will have no issue doing it in front of neither the pack nor my family. Bella is grieving for her father don't you dare even think about disrupting it. If you even remotely touch a hair on her head it will result in you being ejected and the end of your life permanently."

I didn't wait for a reply I kept going. "Is that clear dog?" I didn't hear a reply. "You will sit where my family can watch you and eject you if necessary."

I heard a click. He'd heard me. I hoped for his sake I didn't have to break him in half. I put the phone down and joined Bella on the bed again. I looked into her upset face and dried the fallen tears on her cheeks. My happy Bella was no more.

"Bella, love, I won't let anything happen on Friday. He wouldn't dare do it."

"I trust you Edward. It's him I don't trust."

I pulled Bella close and she sighed. I looked down at her and gave her a crooked smile. She smiled back and snuggled into my side. I grabbed her shirt and she slipped it on having no issue of changing in front of me now. I couldn't help but stare. She was beautiful. She was my angel, my godsend to this damned vampire life.

She got up moments later wrapping the blanket around her and picking up her clothing that was strewn across the floor. She headed to the bathroom and cleaned up and came out dressed moments later.

It finally dawned on me what had just happened. I knew it was one of the girls that placed the idea in Bella's head. It was probably Alice. I smiled as she knew me all to well. She was probably having a vision as my thoughts rang out. I'd get her back some day but I would have to thank her too.


Well what did you think?

Okay I know, I know. It should have happened earlier but it just didn't work. It worked here. It's a little more than what I usually write for the fluff. I'm sure there is more coming. You will just have to read the rest of the story to find out!!!

Please read and review. Let me know what you think!

~munchkin1978~