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There was a cool hand covering Ichigo's forehead; it was soothing compared to the aches and pains in his muscles and the fever burning his skin. There was a familiar feel to it, a smell or something indescribable—he mumbled, not knowing the words he was trying to say until his eyelids unglued themselves and fluttered. His surroundings were very bright and he flinched, wincing.
"Finally awake, sleepyhead?"
It was a woman's voice, light and excited. Ichigo knew it, somehow, but couldn't place it until he saw her figure hovering over him—something familiar, the color green…
Ichigo rocketed upwards, nearly colliding with the other person. He gasped as pain erupted in his chest, unable to breathe and his head spun. Hands on his shoulders forced him down until he lay flat on his back, moaning.
"Take it easy, dummy, I'm excited to see you too!"
"Nel?"
She held up a single finger, her eyes squinting shut against an enormous smile. "Got it in one! You're not so bad off as I thought."
The room was blindingly white through Ichigo's milky vision. "Where are we?"
Nel shrugged, "The infirmary, I think." She was apparently unperturbed by their surroundings.
Ichigo blinked before flopping an arm over his eyes, the whiteness searing. "Nel, we're in Las Noches."
"So?" She asked it as though it was the most natural place to be. "And wow, you got that too—you're way better off than I worried you'd be!"
Ichigo peeked out from between his fingers; Nel was still smiling, and more importantly, she was huge. Well, huge for Nel, Ichigo thought; he was used to her being the size of an easily-portable sack of potatoes. She was wearing a while outfit, the uniform of the Espada—it should've been Ichigo's first clue, but he refused to acknowledge it, or possibly his mind simply couldn't process.
"Nel, what happened?"
"I dunno—I wasn't there," she said. "Well, I wasn't wherever you were when you got caught. I think Grimmjow was behind that, he beat you up pretty bad."
Ichigo made a mumbling groan, covering his eyes again. Grimmjow. That made sense—in fact, it brought a lot back. They'd been running…he tried to remember who he was with; he'd fought Ulquiorra to a draw and then stole Inoue away, joining up with Rukia and Renji. Everyone was rushing along with him; the garganta had reopened and they all had to get through. Inoue had healed him, partially; they couldn't spare the time and Ichigo could feel his injuries tearing as they all raced to leave their prison.
Before he knew it, Grimmjow was upon them, a blue flame that Ichigo shrank from. He didn't want to—he couldn't believe the other man was still alive, though he felt relief and couldn't place why. Grimmjow was a threat to all of them, and they had to escape but the arrancar had become so strong—Ichigo couldn't match him in the shape he was in so he'd said, "Take me instead…"
"Nel," Ichigo said, presently. "Nel, you've gotta help me. You gotta get me outta here."
"Oh, Ichigo." And she pressed her hand against his face; it seemed almost maternal, confusing from the child he'd known her as before. "I would if I could."
Ichigo dropped the hand from across his eyes and stared at her. "What?"
"I know it seems hard—and maybe it should, you only saw me as a little kid before, but I was Espada, once. I was an arrancar." She chewed at her lower lip before touching the crown-mask on her head. Ichigo realized it was no longer broken, though the scar on her face remained. "That hasn't changed, and it's all because of Aizen. You think he's cruel, but…"
"That's because he is," Ichigo snapped. "He's a traitor, and I don't care what he did for you—"
"Just listen!" And Ichigo did, immediately. Nel's reiatsu was frightening. "We were all almost mindless before, but we followed him, we did it willingly. Because he's strong and fearless and—" she sighed, as it if were too difficult to explain in words. "He was something we all could be, something to admire. He never had to force us, and now that he's given me my rank back, I will again."
Her eyes seemed so kind, and so sad, as though she pitied Ichigo for not being able to realize the source to her obvious loyalty. Ichigo felt as though something were fading inside him, dying—how could Nel, innocent and naïve, be so won-over by a betrayer? Ichigo pressed both hands against his eyes, rubbing the salt out of them. "You've been blinded. It's what he's best at, drawing the wool over people's eyes and using them. He doesn't care about you, can't you see that?"
"Just give it a chance. Why do you follow Soul Society, anyway?"
Ichigo could hear a hint of bitterness in her voice and wanted to shut her words out; they were hatefully true because he didn't know, and he wanted to say that he didn't follow them entirely. It just seemed right, and he'd begun this stupid business to protect people and the things he loved—after all, it wasn't the forces of Soul Society that mindlessly consumed others. Things had been very simple before this business with the arrancar, easy to tell the difference between savages and the civilized. He realized he'd never actually considered Nel an arrancar and realizing now that she was meant that he was truly without allies.
Ichigo sat up abruptly; for the first time, he noticed that he was very naked. He drew the sheet covering him tightly around his waist. "Where're my clothes!"
"Don't get mad at me! They were pretty well ruined by the time you were finished with them," Nel said, shrugging with both hands held away from her sides. "I can heal most any wounds but you're on your own if you tear up your uniform."
Ichigo glared at her spitefully, feeling his face redden in embarrassment. He felt silly; it was just Nel. He paused, frowning. Healing…"Wait, what?"
Nel stuck the tip of her tongue between her lips, smiling. "I know it'll gross you out, but I am useful for some things."
Ichigo remembered the way she'd vomited a fountain of saliva on Dordonii following his defeat; Ichigo shivered, feeling as green as Nel's hair. He gaped at her, "You drooled on me?"
"Fuck, shut your goddamn mouth. I can hear your squawking all the way down the corridor."
Ichigo twisted around abruptly and winced at the head rush. He glared through it, "Grimmjow."
"How's it going, shinigami?" Grimmjow smiled viciously. His fist snapped out and popped Ichigo right in the side of the head, making Ichigo's eyes roll as he sank to his elbows. "Your head's still attached, but doesn't look like it's by much. What the fuck?" Grimmjow turned to Nel and glared. "Thought you said you could take care of him, eh? He's barely in one piece!"
"And that's your fault, asshole!" Nel snapped. Ichigo almost wanted to be offended by her language. "And don't break him before he's even had a chance!"
"Che, you're just trying to cover for the fact that you can't do shit," Grimmjow sneered. "Aizen only gave you your rank back just because'a that row of tits you got."
To Ichigo's surprise, Nel laughed, a high-pitched, girlish cackle; it reminded him of the time he'd been stuck drinking with Renji; Rangiku had gotten spectacularly smashed and made a complete fool of herself, or at least that was the way Ichigo'd seen it.
Nel turned towards him conspiratorially, "Look, Ichigo, the kitty-kitty has claws."
"Watch it, bitch—"
"Grimmjow likes to pretend he's so strong and scary, but I remember when Aizen-sama first transformed him and he was like a tottering kitten, his legs too weak to hold him—"
"Shut up!" Grimmjow's face was livid and pink; he made a grab for Nel which she neatly avoided. Ichigo felt trapped between them and their increasingly vicious barbs. "At least I ain't a hag like you!"
"Wait, you knew each other?" Ichigo said, and shrank as both pairs of eyes turned towards him.
Nel smiled, "Not really, Grimmjow was just a baby when I got kicked out."
"Was never no goddamn baby—"
"You were so, not more than a month old." Nel stuck her tongue out towards the other arrancar and blew him a raspberry. "I was Espada for more than a year before you came along."
"Then Nnoitra smacked you one good in the head and tossed you out in the desert," Grimmjow snarled. "Must not've been much of an Espada if it was that easy."
"Wait, Nel," Ichigo started, confused. "You were Espada for years? But—Aizen had only defected for months before the arrancar invaded the real world—"
Nel shrugged dismissively, as if Ichigo were very slow. "Time passes differently here, silly. I don't know what it is exactly, but there're years for every month in the real world."
Ichigo could feel something inside himself sinking sharply, like a stone. If he was trapped here and the others had all escaped—he couldn't have been in Hueco Mundo alone for more than a week, but what would that be on the outside? A day or a single hour?
He would be an old man once they found him, though his body would never age—
"Che, you shinigami always act like it's so noble and fitting to have us minus-souls stuck off in this world, eh, and for what? I don't even remember what I did to land here'n I'm living with this hunger for more lifetimes than any human?" Grimmjow spat on the floor and returned his glare to Ichigo. "What's fair about that, huh?"
"Whatever you did, I'm sure you deserve it!" Ichigo snapped. Grimmjow was the last person who was going to make him feel guilty, especially now that he was stuck with the bastard.
"Look on the bright side, punk," Grimmjow snarled, and his hand shot forward to fist itself in Ichigo's hair and drag their faces together. "Now you're gonna share it with me."
"What the fuck're you talking about, Grimmjow?" Ichigo twisted sharply away from the other man and felt his hair rip in Grimmjow's hold. He winced and drew the cloth covering himself closer. Ichigo didn't like the eyes Grimmjow had on him; they were possessive.
"Don't tell me you don't remember, eh? And after you begged me so pretty." Grimmjow laughed and it was nasty, mean. His mouth sneered cruelly as he mimed, "'You can have me if that's what you want! Let the others go—'"
"I did not!" Ichigo snapped, incensed. Though, now that Grimmjow said it, Ichigo's memory was supplying exactly those words. He remembered them running to the garganta because Aizen's forces had fallen, they were retreating to Hueco Mundo and the fabric between the two worlds was fragile—Urahara had opened the four garganta the Soul Society captains had used to invade Las Noches and it was their only escape.
Only when Grimmjow had found him—and Grimmjow was so healed, it wasn't fair; Ichigo would've fought him to let them all escape together but neither he nor his friends could've done it—it was the only solution Ichigo could think of and he couldn't let Inoue go back to being captive. Her eyes were so shadowed and he hated that she'd been through months of this treatment alone. She deserved better, and it was the best Ichigo could do just to not let her fall into their hands again. And he knew Grimmjow wouldn't be able to resist an offer of Ichigo's own life.
So Ichigo had made that decision in an instant, even though Renji and Rukia and Ishida balked at him, disbelieving—Ichigo hadn't realized it at the time, but he'd never thought he'd have to live with it. He'd expected Grimmjow to kill him.
"Yeah, you did," Grimmjow said, his mocking voice jerking Ichigo's attention back. "And if you can't admit to it you're less of a man than I already doubted you were.
"But it don't much matter, does it? I got you back here just so Aizen'd let me into his good graces, seeing as how you've thoroughly wrecked 'em for me." He poked a finger into Ichigo's bare chest. "It's gonna kill you, shinigami, but he doesn't seem to care about you as a prisoner. He gave you over to me."
Grimmjow's smile widened until it mimicked his half-masked jaw. "How's that feel, huh? To belong to me."
Ichigo slapped Grimmjow's hand off of him, glaring. "Whatever, Grimmjow. What the fuck ever, if that's what you need to make yourself feel better."
"Don't gotta make myself feel better; fuck, I won against you last time. Broke you into tiny fucking pieces for this girly to put back together." He jerked a thumb toward Nel derisively.
Ichigo laughed sharply, "You call that winning? If that's what you call fair, than you've got less honor than I ever thought—"
Grimmjow's lip had curled off his teeth and Ichigo was so consumed with glaring at the other man that he didn't notice the first slamming towards his face until Nel caught it.
"Now, now, children, there's enough time for that," she said, smiling benignly. Her gaze shifted to Grimmjow, clenching his wrist tightly. "Unless you really only think you can beat him when he's like this, pussy cat."
Grimmjow jerked away from her, eyes still fixed on Ichigo, "Heh, you always did have someone covering your ass."
"And you always had enough excuses for both of us," Ichigo snapped, drawing the sheet around his waist and looping his legs over the side of the infirmary table. He took two steps before a ringing sound pierced his ears; his eyes didn't seem to want to focus and he was going to vomit. Ichigo put a hand to his mouth to stop it—
He came to a moment later in a heap on the floor with Nel hovering over him. She was saying, "Now see what you did, you asshole!"
"Fuck, put some clothes on him!" Grimmjow snarled.
Ichigo could feel his own pulse on his tongue like the slamming of heavy iron doors. There was white in his vision but he couldn't tell if he was looking at the ceiling or the floor. Or the walls, or Nel; it didn't seem to matter very much. The sharp points of his body, his elbows and knees and cheekbone ached sharply from falling upon them.
Grimmjow's voice had a strange echo to it. "Aizen wants to see him when he's able to walk to get there."
Then Nel was gathering him up in her arms and Ichigo made a mumbling protest. He tried to hold the cloth around himself but his fingers felt numb; he tried to swallow, thickly, and then his vision grayed and narrowed before he lost consciousness.
