Hello! \o/ Thanks to Q for beta'ing this chapter, and thanks to everyone who's given their feedback.
Nel was holding his hand chastely, the same way Ichigo's first girlfriend had. Ichigo could feel his palm begin to sweat; with Nel like she was—she was even taller than Ichigo—he couldn't help but feel strangely embarrassed. He remembered how she'd clung to him with tiny fists as they raced all along these corridors and wondered how it wouldn't feel awkward.
"You're awfully quiet," she said.
"Ah!" Ichigo startled. "Sorry."
"Did it go well?" She was smiling and biting her lip, a familiar expression that Ichigo was glad to recognize.
"What d'you mean?"
"I just mean—he's kind, isn't he? I hope he was like that to you."
"He was. I guess," Ichigo responded, and Nel swung their entwined hands lazily.
"That's always what I liked about him best, you don't expect it here. Kindness. And he doesn't use it needlessly, just enough—" She squeezed his hand before letting it go, turning to face him. "Don't think I'm stupid for saying that. It takes more to win me over. I know you hate him because he's strong or for whatever he's done in Soul Society, but we're very alone, here. He gave us something to gather towards, a purpose."
Ichigo looked away, not wanting to talk about this with Nel. He wasn't sure if he wanted to talk about it at all, to anyone. Aizen was merciful, that was true; Ichigo somehow expected the other man to kill him, or use him and the alternative was almost worse—to be useless, just a toy to keep Grimmjow satisfied. So Grimmjow could bat him around and keep himself entertained. Ichigo felt self disgust creeping up his spine for not being strong enough to stop the arrancar from doing it—but as Aizen had said, if Ichigo could prove himself the greater strength between the two of them, it would get him out of here faster. Ichigo wasn't about to pass up a chance like that, no matter how degrading the process might be—
Nel gripped his face, her fingers on either side of Ichigo's cheeks to forcibly point his eyes towards hers. She smiled. "Stop being so serious! Even if you're stuck here, you could at least enjoy the company, y'know!"
"Um. Got it," Ichigo said abruptly.
Nel grinned impishly at him. "And stop acting like I'm some stranger! Especially after everything."
"You look a little different," he admitted. But she wasn't, he realized—still the same Nel who'd insulted him for anything and punched him in the balls when he didn't listen to her. He hoped she wouldn't continue the latter part.
"Doesn't mean that I am different." She released his face gently before throwing herself at him in a full embrace. Her mask smacked soundly against his ear. "Oh, Ichigo! I'm so glad you're here. Even if it's just so that we don't have to be enemies!"
He envied her for making everything so simplistic. Nel had her old body back, the form that was truly her and as Aizen had accepted her back into the Esapada, he knew she had few regrets. Unlike himself, trapped in this place.
Nel was still clutching him tightly and Ichigo sighed, patting her gently on the shoulder. He felt jealous of her honesty in her affections; it was more than he could manage. He was truly glad to have her as a friend now but never said as much. As she held him, Ichigo could feel her breasts pressed to his chest, and heat began creeping up his face. He could deal with the tiny, obnoxious child Nel had been, but having her mature and attractive made him feel weird.
Then an annoyed voice spoke from behind them, "I know you like him but try to remember who he belongs to."
Ichigo slunk out of Nel's arms and twisted, glaring at Grimmjow who was standing down the corridor from them, leaning against a corner. "You're only fooling yourself if you really think you own me, asshole!"
"Heh," Grimmjow laughed, and shoved himself off the wall, walking towards them. "Go ahead and deny it, I'll enjoy watching the show. You're mine, Kurosaki." Grimmjow stopped a step away from Ichigo, lording the few extra inches of height he had over him. "Don't forget it's cause you gave yourself over willingly. That's the part I like most."
Ichigo could feel his anger rising. Nel's hand slid against his back in reassurance, "Don't let him get to you. Grimmjow's just never had fraccion before."
"Will you go away—" Grimmjow snarled, but Nel was undeterred.
"He just doesn't understand how to treat them." She said it brightly, as if to promise Ichigo that things wouldn't be as bad as he feared. "You'll have to forgive him for it. Anytime he makes you feel terrible, just know that it's because he thinks he has to—"
"I really, really doubt that's the reason, Nel," Ichigo said, annoyed glare still full on the other man.
"Heh, you got the right idea, fucker," Grimmjow sneered. He glared towards Ichigo eagerly. "She don't get what's between you and me, does she?"
"And what is there?" Ichigo snapped. "I beat you once, Grimmjow. I'll do it again."
That brought a round of laughter from the other man, enough that Grimmjow threw his head back, his whole body shaking and Ichigo hated him. He hated the arrancar, but felt worse about himself—sure, he'd gotten into this of his own volition but Ichigo knew he made stupid choices all the time.
Grimmjow snickered. "You'll do it again? I'd like to see you try!"
Ichigo seethed; he could readily show the bastard just how wrong he was if he had a sword. But Grimmjow held Zangetsu and Ichigo wasn't about to ask for it—Grimmjow would see it as though Ichigo was begging him for something. The arrancar would hold the promise of his zanpakuto over him until Ichigo did whatever he wanted. Ichigo had no intention of letting that happen.
Beside him, Nel nudged his shoulder in a knowing manner. "You could take him; I know it. Don't let him tell you anything else, you're not a pet. He just wants you to think that—it's your choice if you let him.
"Or am I wrong?" She said it to Grimmjow, directly, her smile beaming and the other arrancar seemed to sober.
"Che, think whatever you want. I don't need this little shit. But I have him, that's what matters."
Nel whispered in a conspiratory undertone, "See how many excuses he needs to make—"
"Fuck, do you want something?" Grimmjow snarled. "And you—" he turned to Ichigo, with one finger pointed towards his chest, "You gonna let some little fucking girly push you around? How pathetic."
"She's not pushing me around, dickhead," Ichigo snapped.
Nel sighed, in a long suffering manner. "You can't blame Grimmjow for being excited. Come to think of it, it was probably best he never had fraccion until now; he'd just end up breaking them trying to show off—"
"That's it!" Grimmjow made a grab for her and Nel dodged, catching Grimmjow's jacket to pull him off-balance while she kicked his feet out from under him. The arrancar fell in a heap with a muffled sound, and Ichigo found it very difficult to keep from laughing.
"Oops." Nel shrugged innocently.
Grimmjow roared as he leapt back to his feat. "You goddamn bitch!"
He made a swing at Nel's face which she caught, holding him as though his strength were nothing. "Now, now," she said. "I'm very impressed." She twisted Grimmjow's wrist sharply before releasing it.
"You're not even really fraccion, you'd need to be arrancar for that," Nel continued to Ichigo, as though the other Espada weren't there. "Grimmjow thinks fraccion are just something to play with, anyway."
"I only play with things that bleed—" Grimmjow growled in suppressed annoyance, as though Nel was giving away all his secrets. He probably didn't want Ichigo to know what his position was; better for Grimmjow to lord his superiority over him without question.
"And that just shows how stupid you are, doesn't it?" She seemed irritated at them both for not being able to get along, though Ichigo couldn't understand why she thought he should bother. Nel nodded towards Ichigo, as if to direct Grimmjow's attention. "Here's your chance to prove you're not beyond help: Ichigo's tired. You should take care of him."
"What?" Ichigo said—though he was tried, still not completely healed from his injuries.
"What?" Grimmjow echoed his words. "So what am I supposed to do, change his diaper?"
"Fuck you—"
"Che, I'll show you fucked, whenever you're ready to leave your little girlfriend—"
"She's not my girlfriend!" Ichigo could feel his face heat uncomfortably. He didn't want to think of Nel that way.
"Then maybe you shouldn't let her order you around, see what I'm saying—"
"Grimmjow!" Nel's tone was scolding, as though she genuinely couldn't believe his behavior. "You can't take something home and then ignore it! He has his needs, stupid."
"Fine, fuck!" Grimmjow grabbed the collar of Ichigo's new white uniform and dragged him after as he started down the corridor. "This's more of a pain in the ass than it's worth!"
Ichigo stumbled before slapping the arrancar's hand away; Grimmjow shot him a glare, but continued walking and Ichigo followed on his own. He didn't like being tossed around like a toy for Aizen, Grimmjow, even Nel—
Ichigo didn't want to do anything that Aizen encouraged or wanted, but he knew he couldn't remain subservient to Grimmjow. He quietly resolved to whatever he could to fight the Espada or Aizen himself; anything that Ichigo did to get himself out of here would be on his own terms, whatever that entailed. He wasn't a game to be played, not by any of them.
"I don't have a goddamn room so we'll just use one that's not fucked up too bad," Grimmjow started.
"You don't have a room? What's wrong with you?"
"Shut up, I sleep where I want. Gotta problem with that, bitch?"
Ichigo stopped abruptly. "What the fuck did you just call me?"
Grimmjow gave a short, barking laugh. "Aw, what? Hit too close to home?"
"Bring it on, you piece of shit, I'll take you right now—"
"And I'll end up disappointed when I don't even work up a sweat." Grimmjow said it with his pinky-finger jammed inside of his ear, clearly dismissive. "Are you ready to just accept things or d'you need me to prove it to ya?"
Ichigo snorted, angry and seething, but looked away. There really was no way for him to take Grimmjow in their respective conditions; the arrancar was healed and healthy and Ichigo still was so broken. He couldn't hope to defeat the other man now and he needed to in order to escape. Grimmjow turned on his foot and began striding down the corridor again; Ichigo followed.
He nearly smacked into the other man's back when Grimmjow came to an abrupt halt. "This'll do," he muttered, before opening the door and shoving Ichigo through. As though Ichigo were unable to make it on his own.
The room was like all of the ones Ichigo had seen before now, when he'd been exploring with Nel—she had her own, though it was considerably bigger; fitting of an Espada. Ichigo's room was small, no space for much else than sleeping and bathing; only one doorway adjoined and he could tell it was to a washroom. His bed was larger than any Ichigo had seen, tucked into the corner leaving room for little else: a chair, a couch, and all of it white, white…Ichigo wished on some level to change it, if only to disrupt the constant blinding nothingness.
He realized Grimmjow remained behind him and glanced at the other man, prompting him for whatever led him to stay with Ichigo now. "Do you still want something?" he muttered, and Grimmjow's lip curled in annoyance.
"You could at least fucking say thanks," Grimmjow snapped. "I don't gotta give you your own room. Just think of it as a reflection of what a nice guy I am."
"Right," Ichigo snorted derisively. "That's exactly what I had on my mind."
Then Grimmjow's tightened fist popped him in the chin and Ichigo staggered; the arrancar grabbed his flailing arm as he stumbled for balance and twisted Ichigo's body around, slamming him up against one of the blank walls.
Ichigo's arm was wrenched painfully behind him as Grimmjow pressed in close, his body covering the back of Ichigo's with his breath hot on the nape of his neck. "Y'know, you gotta real smartass mouth, brat."
Ichigo gasped, struggling away from Grimmjow's hold but the arrancar only wrenched his arm harder, crushing him against the wall. Ichigo could feel the tender, newly-healed injuries protesting against the treatment and couldn't stop a pained sound that spilled out; he stilled himself, not wanting to reopen any of his wounds. The smell of fresh blood would probably make Grimmjow even more excited than he already was.
"We're gonna have a good talk, you and me," Grimmjow said, his mouth close to Ichigo's ear. "Cause I don't think you really get what's going on. You seem to be forgetting who you belong to, and every time you do, I'm gonna do something like this to make you remember."
"Something like what—" Ichigo snapped, but then Grimmjow's teeth sank into his shoulder, right through his new uniform and to the skin underneath. Ichigo stiffened, yelping in pain and surprise. He writhed under Grimmjow's hold, but the arrancar's jaws only tightened. Ichigo didn't want a ruined shoulder on top of everything else, but this humiliation seemed much worse than any he'd endured so far.
He snarled, thrashing and wild. Ichigo would do anything to get away from the hot mouth and tongue pressed against his body, desperate to escape from Grimmjow's hands. Ichigo slammed his free elbow into the arrancar's chest; Grimmjow grunted but didn't dislodge his grip. If anything his teeth dug in deeper and Ichigo could feel the soft heat of his breath as it dampened his skin.
"What the fuck's wrong with you—" Ichigo snarled, free hand braced against the wall and shoving away from it. He hoped to break away from Grimmjow by force, but the other man only made a sound, guttural and muffled, like a groan. Against Ichigo's own flesh, he realized. Nel was right—Grimmjow didn't know how to keep him as anything other than a subservient creature, and Grimmjow responded to any of Ichigo's challenges in kind.
Ichigo realized with clarity that it was his own doing that got him into this situation. Depending on anyone else wasn't his style; if he started this mess, he'd see it through to the end, however degrading and painful that turned out to be. Ichigo used his weight against the wall to spin sharply, twisting his pinned arm hard enough that it might come out of its socket, but he managed to get the wall at his back.
Ichigo glared blades at the other man, back braced against the barrier behind him and panting to catch his breath; it embarrassed Ichigo that he had to do even that. He bared his teeth angrily, "I fucking hate you so much—"
Grimmjow's hand snatched his jaw, holding it in a cruel grip. "Good," the arrancar sneered. Grimmjow's tongue darted across his lips, licking blood away, "Wouldn't have it any other way. But just remember, Kurosaki: I beat you and I took you. Away from your friends and your world and the best part is, you fucking let me do it. You asked me to."
"Kill me if you want to, Grimmjow," Ichigo said, scowling. "Keeping me like this makes you pathetic."
"No more pathetic than you," Grimmjow murmured, his hands splayed against the wall on either side of Ichigo's face. He leaned in close and Ichigo went rigid, expecting his biting teeth again. The Espada inhaled deeply with his face beside Ichigo's, "I like that smell coming off you, shinigami. You smell scared, and you should be."
Ichigo's chest felt tight and his breath came in small pants; with Grimmjow this close, he was scared. He didn't have a sword and knew he couldn't fight the other man off on strength alone. And here Grimmjow was, drinking it in like a drug—it made Ichigo sick, knowing that he was feeding the arrancar exactly what he desired.
Then abruptly, Grimmjow turned away, walking to the door and stopping before throwing Ichigo a look filled with smug satisfaction, "Try to hold onto that hate, shinigami. I'm looking forward to keeping you in line."
Grimmjow left, closing the door behind him, and the way Ichigo was shut into his room felt very final. Ichigo let himself sink to the floor, his back still against the wall where the arrancar had left him. He felt nauseated and exhausted; maybe he was still injured and could blame it all on that. It might make things easier than admitting how he could let that fucking prick Grimmjow walk all over him, as though he did indeed own Ichigo.
It was the phrasing involved that bothered him the most: Ichigo wouldn't have minded being taken prisoner, but serving as just a toy or a pet was so much worse. Even when Inoue had given herself up and her reasons had been the same—to save others, to protect—at least she'd been valued by Aizen himself when she was captive. Or thought that she was—even if it was false, it would've helped, but Ichigo knew he was nothing. Just a sacrifice so others could escape; he knew he should take some comfort from that, but it was difficult when faced with the stark reality.
Sacrifices were supposed to be killed, that was their purpose. They weren't supposed to be dragged about and humiliated constantly, at least not in Ichigo's mind. A sacrifice, a death in the place of others, was noble—Ichigo wondered if he would've done the same if he'd known what was truly to come. What came after made Ichigo feel as though he was a rat trapped in a maze, being chased by a predator while Aizen himself regarded them both with amusement. He could outwit Grimmjow, but to what end? So he could serve the shinigami betrayer? Ichigo would rather destroy them both.
He noticed he was shaking, from exhaustion or his anger and wrapped his arms around himself. Ichigo slid one hand under his uniform and could feel twin indentations from where Grimmjow's teeth had breached his skin. There was blood on his fingertips when he pulled them away. He laughed, shortly and mirthlessly; at least it was a change of color.
