A/N: Well guys, here is part of Chapter 12, I've not been much in the writing mood here lately, so I figured I'd post what I have so far. This was supposed to be much longer but I'm lazy, I do apologize again for the long time between updates. Hopefully you like this chapter, I'll try and have the next one up soon but I can't make any promises.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything affiliated with Twilight, and I don't own the title to this story.
-DaringReality
Jacob's POV
Last night I had actually slept peacefully. The night I found out about Seth almost being attacked I had this God awful dream about him. I would dream about him being attacked by one of those monsters, those vampires, and I wouldn't be there in time, or I'd get there and I wouldn't be able to do anything, I would be to weak to save him.
Last night however, my Seth…my angel slept in my arms and I knew he was safe. I was here if he needed me, as I always will be, no matter what dreams I may have. They'll never be real. I will never be unable to protect Seth.
Somehow we managed to roll over in our sleep and situate ourselves to where he was laying on my chest. I held him close, his sleeping, beautiful face the first thing I saw this morning when I opened my eyes. It was the greatest thing in the world to wake up with your one true love in your arms. I never wanted to let Seth go, I wanted to keep him here, safe with me, and hold him forever.
I raised my hand to stroke his hair, that beautiful shaggy brown hair. It came down to about the length of his chin, and it fell slightly in his face as he slept. He snored lightly, and I didn't have the heart to wake him. He looked so peaceful.
It still amazes me to think we have only been together for a few short days, really been together. It's the most natural thing to me, holding him in my arms, kissing his soft lips, telling him how wonderful he is. It's like we were never friends, only dumb enough to believe what we shared was something as little as friendship. These past days, it almost feels like nothing has changed, yet it has. The dynamics of our relationship has changed drastically, unfortunately though we and a select few are the only ones to know, still it is the most wonderful thing to ever happen to me.
I let a soft smile stretch across my face. Its hard not to smile when in the presence of this angel. I never was one to believe in religion, but there has to be something out there, some form of higher power. I refuse to believe mine and Seth's relationship, the feelings I have for the boy, is only brought on by a mere chance occurrence. I refuse to believe all my life I only recently felt this way for him. There has to be something out there, someone playing the cards in our favor, for surely I have met my soul mate, I have known my soul mate from the day he was born, and I will be with him always.
Seth stirred in his sleep then, his eyes fluttering open, and he raises himself slightly on my chest to look down at me. I stare back into his chocolate brown eyes and my heart swells again in my chest. "Good morning baby." I say and I'm rewarded with a soft sweet smile that curves across his face.
"Morning Jake." He says in return and his eyes sparkle as his smile widens even more, his perfect teeth making an appearance.
"How did you sleep babe?" I ask, reaching up to stroke his cheek.
"Great, you make a nice pillow." He tells me while patting my chest. I laugh and so does he.
"I'm glad, maybe you should use me as a pillow more often. I sleep better when I know your safe in my arms."
"Aw babe, you don't have to worry about me. Although I sleep better too when your holding me in your arms." He confesses, leaning his head down on my chest again and putting his arms around me. "Mm my favorite place to be." He sighs.
My chest feels ready to bust with all the love that is flooding my heart. I stroke his hair while he rests on me and I smile softly again. I love the way he makes me smile. It's not one of those forced smiles where your jaws start to hurt, but involuntary.
"I wouldn't want to hold anyone else." I whisper as I kiss the top of his head, and he sighs again. "But we should probably get up, your mom will be in here soon to wake us up I'd say…" I thought about Leah walking in on us yesterday and let out a chuckle. "Wouldn't want her to find us like this."
"Yea that might blow our cover." he laughs and sits up off of me. I sit up to, and we both lean in to place a small kiss on one another's lips, lingering there for a moment too long, savoring every second.
That's when the door to his room opens again for the second fucking time, interrupting us during a not so friendly act.
"Jake, Seth, get up sweeties, time to…" Came the motherly voice of Sue Clearwater, her sentence stopping like a train wreck as her eyes shot wide at the sight of me and Seth. "Wh-what are you boys…doing?" She asked incredulously.
Seth jumped back, abruptly ending our kiss, and my heart breaks as he locks eyes with his mother and his face scrunches up with the promise of tears.
"Mom!" Seth chokes out, his face turning red under his dark skin. "It's not what you-"
"HARRY!" Sue yelled, cutting Seth off in the middle of his sentence. He looked scared, I just wanted to hold him then, to erase this fear, but that probably wouldn't help us much at the moment.
Seth's POV
My world was slowly crumbling beneath my feet, and all I could do was stare lifelessly as my mother franticly yelled for my father. She was so angry, and I'm not even quite sure what she is angry with exactly. The fact that I'm gay? The fact that I've had my boyfriend in the house, fooling around with him? The fact that I never was honest with her about my sexuality? The fact that she probably thinks she'll never get a grandchild from me? Maybe it was everything, but hell we still had Leah to spawn us some demons.
"Harry! Get in HERE!" mom yelled once more, and I sprung to my feet then. The fear of my father finding out I was gay was enough to put some life back into me.
"Mom, please, please don't tell dad." My voiced cracked as I pleaded, a sob escaping as I knelt down and begged at her feet. I was desperate, "please…"
"Seth, dammit, get up." She said, kicking at me gently to try and get me to stand. I still knelt there on my knees, not having the will to use anymore energy to get back up. I remained motionless, my head bowed down as if begging for my life, begging for mercy, and tears rolled down my face, collecting at the bridge of my nose in a tiny saltwater droplet. "HARRY!" her voice boomed again, and I continued to whisper my pleas.
"Coming dear!" my dad shouted from another room and I swear I could hear each footstep he took as he got closer to the room which might just become my grave. He would surely kill me, or worse, disown me once he finds out. I've heard him talk of homosexuals before, all in a joking manner, but at our expense, he never laughed with us. I never laughed with him. Of course he was always oblivious his son was a 'fag' also. He was going to absolutely be disgusted with me.
"Mom please…please." I manage with another sob, my voice a weak whisper as my throat was hurting from my incessant hiccoughs. My eyes were burning and my heart was breaking. Jacob was behind me then, rubbing my back, and I saw mom give him an odd look. I wanted to shy away from his touch, or so I thought I should, since my mother wasn't taking the realization of how close we truly are all that well. But this is exactly what has stopped me from ever being truthful about my feelings, this is what has stopped me from being with Jacob from the start. My parents. I knew they would disapprove. I knew they would be ashamed. But now as I lay here groveling at my mother's feet, begging her not to ruin my life, I realize Jacob's hand has calmed me in a way I thought wasn't possible. This isn't so hard with him here, I'm not alone. I was always afraid to come out because of the fear of being alone…but now I wasn't, and I realized that the disapproval from my parents did not matter. All that mattered was I was approved of in the eyes of the only person that mattered anymore, Jacob Black, the only one that will ever matter to me. And I was no longer alone.
"What dear, what is all the shouting about?" I heard my father ask, his voice was calm, but dripped with a bit of annoyance as mom was clearly interrupting his morning routine before work. He was currently tying his tie around his neck, not giving us all of his attention.
"Your…your son here…" I heard mother begin. I looked back down at the floor, while Jacob rubbed my back. The tears had stopped fortunately, but my body tensed as I braced myself for what mom was about to tell dad, and his inevitable anger.
"Your son…he…he…"
She was stumbling, she couldn't say it! She couldn't even utter the simple words. Your son is gay. She just couldn't say that, was she that disgusted?
"What is it Sue? I got to get ready for work…Seth what's wrong with your mother?"
Oh shit, he was staring at me now. I could feel it. I raised my head from the floor and looked up. His expression changed from one of annoyance to one of worry once he saw my tear streaked face and puffy red eyes. The room felt like it was closing in on me. Mother couldn't tell him, after calling him in here herself! She was just as much of a coward as I have been.
With a surge of bravery as Jacob's reassuring hands instilled within me, I stood to face my parents. I'm tired of being afraid, of hiding. This is me dammit, I am gay. Does that not still make me their son? I'm about to find out.
"Dad…I'm-"
"Mr. Clearwater, I'm in love with your son."
Oh…my…God.
"Jake?" I turn to look at him, and he is standing behind me looking my father dead in the eye.
All the fear that ever resided within me vanished the moment I heard his husky voice speak the words that I dreaded to say. It was like I was on fire in this room and his words were a cool ocean wave washing over me, dousing the flames of fear that engulfed my body.
"And I think he feels slightly the same way about me." Jacob chuckles as he towers over me from behind, snaking his hands around my waist. I look up at him, unbelieving and grateful, and he smiles so sweetly at me in return I cannot help but smile back. Was this really happening?
"I know that you may not approve, and that no parent in particular wants this for their child, but its not your approval we were looking for in hiding, it was your disapproval that we were avoiding." he finishes, and I am absolutely stunned. My hands find their way to his, which are holding me tight, and I place mine over top of his and lean into him. This was my man, sticking up for me, and I absolutely adored him right now.
My mother and father both just stood in my doorway, staring intently at Jacob and I. Dad's mouth hung open as his tie laid around his neck loosely, he'd given up on the thing and was now paying us full attention.
"You…you what…Jacob?" dad asked softly, but it looked like he was truly trying not to explode. He was shaking, like he was about to attack my boyfriend, which he probably was. I only felt sorry for dad if he even tried, Jake would beat his ass.
"I said I'm in love with your son." Wait…did he say that before? I was so shocked to hear him stand up to my parents…that I didn't hear that one little word. Love. Did he truly mean that, was he really in love with me? Or was he just saying this to my parents to lessen the blow. I'm sure if he said "I'm gay and so is your son, and we're gay together.", things would be going ten times worse.
"Dad…Mom…I…" I stumbled for my words like my mother had. Although I'm no longer a coward like her, I just didn't know what to say and I felt like I should say something. Whatever I could have said would surely pale in comparison to Jacob's words however.
"Seth…just don't speak…" Dad said, raising up a hand, "We'll talk about this this evening…I have to go to work now." He said, and I could tell he had so much to say but couldn't afford to be late for work. We weren't exactly financially stable right now, it was tough times. I felt guilty, adding to the stress…but I quickly dismissed that thought, this shouldn't be stressful. He should just accept me, nothing should change!
"I'll be talking to Billy about this this evening also." he said, directing his gaze to Jacob. He looked infuriated despite his calm tone, and I dreaded this evening all the more. Jacob just smiled at my dad however, I wished I could handle these types of things as well as he did.
Unfortunately Leah wasn't feeling well this morning, she had a temperature of like 102 degrees Fahrenheit mom informed us, one of the last things she told us this morning, as we drove in silence to school with her. She looked hurt and I didn't understand why. I was happy, couldn't she see that? Doesn't she want me to be happy?
The ride to school was painful to say the least, I kept wanting to say something but nothing came when I would open my mouth. The radio was turned up slightly, and some random song was playing on the radio that didn't catch my attention enough for me to actually listen. My mind was racing. Jacob seemed to sense my discomfort, which was so tangible I'm sure you could see it radiating off me in waves as mom's surely was. He would reach over my seat, where he sat behind me, and rub my shoulder. Mom paid us no attention, kept her eyes on the road as if she hadn't ever driven down this one before, as if she was in a different land, and it made me even more uncomfortable. Jacob helped a little, and I wished I could sit back there with him and have him hold my hand, but that probably wasn't the best idea.
"Well, here you boys are…" mom said as we pulled up to the school, "Have a nice day sweetie, love you…bye…uh…Jake." She tried to give a smile but it was breaking at the edges, she looked like she was going to cry…again.
She shocked me though, telling me she loved me, for I was almost positive she no longer did. That gave me a little hope, maybe once she got over the initial shock she would accept us more. I told her I loved her too and shut the door as Jake mumbled his goodbye. She drove off, and we were alone at school where our secret was still intact.
It was still a bit early to be at school, a few people had started to crowd around the entrance, just hanging out before we actually had to be here. Jake gave me a sheepish look and rubbed the back of his head. Did he know how much I adored him right now? He looked so cute, I just wanted to hug him. So I did.
"Hey there." He said when I wrapped my arms around him. He chuckled, not hugging me back just yet, and I looked up at him and pouted. What was wrong with him? "What about no PDA?"
Oh yea, forgot about that. "Fuck that." I tell him. I could tell people were staring but did I care anymore? Hell no, my man had just stood up for me this morning, he was all that mattered. He deserved some lovin'.
"Oh really? You sure about that?" He asked, snaking his arms around my waste, finally returning my embrace. I could hear the smile in his voice as I nuzzled my face into his chest.
I move my arms up to loop around his neck. "Positive."
"Are you really? Cause you know I'm okay with keeping it on the low down…I know you didn't want anyone to really know just yet, and we kind of blew our cover with your parents and Leah…" He was rambling, but he was excited to be holding me, showing me off to the public. Have I mentioned how cute he was today? "People are kind of starting to stare."
"Oh are they?" I ask, looking around like I hadn't noticed anyone else. "Well, I hadn't even seen anyone else…you're the only one I have eyes for." It was true, fuck anyone who stared, they can hate us, envy us, or love us. They didn't matter, only my Jacob did.
Jacob's smile beamed, his perfect white teeth standing out against his russet cheeks and thick pink lips. I hope I made my point, he was so amazing, I wanted to make him feel as special as he made me. I reached up on my tiptoes then, my arms still around his neck and his around my waist, and I lightly touched his lips with mine.
"I love you Jake." I say as I pull back quickly, his eyes still closed. "I love you so much. What you did for me this morning, when you stood up to my parents, when you said you loved me…Jake I feel the same, I love you so much, I always have…I want the world to know, I don't know why I was so stupid as to hide this, it's a beautiful feeling, your such a beautiful person…I love you, Jake, I love you." A tear slides down my cheek at my confession, and I lean into his chest as he holds me tighter, sighing into the embrace.
"Seth, I love you too…You've made me the happiest man on the planet just then…" he tells me, and I can feel his chest vibrate and his heart beat pound against my ears as he said those words.
We remained that way for a while, only I wished we could stay that way forever. Unfortunately though reality caught up with us as we heard the school bell ring for first period to start. We broke apart, smiles plastered on our faces, and I grabbed his hand, lacing my fingers with his.
We walked up the stairs to the school, intent on letting the world know of our love. Secrecy be damned, anyone who has a problem with it, well I'm sure they won't be voicing their opinion, not if they wished to stay alive. Jake's a pretty big guy, I wouldn't ever pick on him.
My hand seemed to fit perfectly in his, I noticed, his so much larger than mine, and I reveled in the fact I had someone there with me, I was no longer alone, nor was I ever. Not when I was with my Jacob, not when he was there to hold me hand.
I put on my best brave face, ready to face the onslaught of questions and stares we are bound to get, but I didn't care. I was in love, and I do not wish to hide it any longer.
