A/N: Okay, so I'm uber sorry for the long wait for an update. I have had family in, and just not been in the writing mood, so I apologize (like I seem to be doing a lot here lately) for the long wait.
Hope you guys enjoy this chapter, I intended to have this much much longer, but I feel awful for taking so long to update, so I'm going to post this and continue working hopefully on the rest of what was supposed to be in this chapter.
Also you have to read this story by Fruit Fly, it's called 'Realize' It's great, an EmmetxJames fic, you will totally love it and fall in love with the pairing even if you don't like James or something (but who wouldn't like Cam Gigandet)
Disclaimer: If I owned anything affiliated with Twilight, Jake would have Imprinted on Seth and all that damn drama with Bella would have been avoided :] unfortunately I don't.
Jacob's POV
And to think, today started out wonderful, waking up with an angel in my arms. How is it even possible that in less than two hours, it could become exponentially even more wonderful.
Here I was, hand in hand with said angel, his much tinier than mine, walking into school for the first time as a couple. I don't know if I could stop smiling if I tried.
I could tell Seth was a bit uncomfortable, his grip on my hand was loose, and he was looking down at the ground, occasionally glancing up at me with a sheepish grin on his face. I gave his hand a light squeeze and bumped my hip into his. We shared a laugh, his more like a nervous chuckle, and we continued down the hall.
I could feel everyone staring at us, hear the gasps as they first laid eyes on our intertwined hands, and I swear it was as if Seth was barely holding on, his hand practically limp in mine. That kind of saddened me, I wish he could be more comfortable. I suppose that will come in time though. The fact that he was trying, for me, to show the world we are together was truly amazing of him however.
"Here we are." I say softly as we meet our destination, his first period class. He didn't need any books, where it was homeroom for first period, all you really do is sit in there and take roll, then sit some more, so we didn't have to stop at our lockers.
"Yea…" he says, his voice just above a whisper. I take his other hand in mine, squeezing softly and he looks up at me. "Here we are…"
I can see all the worry about today clouding in his deep woodsy brown eyes. His hands were shaking just barely, and he was nervous. Was he waiting for me to kiss him goodbye? I wanted to…but I didn't want to cause a bigger scene now that we were actually in a crowd. This is enough for me, it's apparent we are together…a blind man could see it. I don't want to push his limits, we have all the time in the world, we can take it slow.
"Well, I'll see you after first?" I ask, pulling back from him, untangling our hands as his fall limp at his sides. He hangs his head down…in what? Is that shame?
I hope he's not regretting this, I hope he's not rethinking…us. Aw man, this sucks, he definitely is. He's not saying anything, just looking down, and his silence confirms my worries better than any words could. He's regretting showing the world that we are together, he's probably even regretting that day I first kissed him. Everything has happened so damn fast…what is wrong with me? Why did I have to push him so fast? This is all my fault, starting with when Leah found out. I had to push him, I had to throw myself at him! Why? Why am I such an idiot?!
Today must have been the last straw…when his parents found out. He told me he loved me for what I did for him, and he told me he wanted to come out to the school with me, he told me he was tired of hiding…was that just to protect my feelings, or was he just caught up in the moment? Was it just because I'd taken up for him today, and now that everyone is staring, that everyone is whispering behind our backs so loud its like the sound of a rushing waterfall, and we are caught in the spray of the mist, that now…now that the spotlight is on us, he can't take the heat?
"Well…okay then. See ya." I say softly, and turn to walk away from him as he had yet to say anything. We were going to be late for class if we continued to just stand there…not saying I care to be punctual, just couldn't take standing there anymore with my mind going crazy with worry.
"Wait…" I hear him call from behind me, and I turn to see him walking toward me slowly. "Uh…I forgot to do this." he tells me, and he reaches up on his tip toes slightly, then back down. He looked around nervously, and I gave him a confused look.
"What?" I ask, sort of agitated, but not really. I couldn't ever get mad at Seth, no matter what happens.
"Uh…" he begins, then laughs nervously. He looks up at me, a soft smile tugging at the corner of his lips, and reaches up on his tiptoes then and kisses me on the cheek. "That, and…I-I love you Jake, see you after class."
He turned and walked back to his classroom, leaving me standing there with the goofiest grin on my face.
Seth's POV
Well to say my morning was eventful is a understatement if I ever heard one. First of all, I wake up, in the arms of the man I love. Second, my parents walk in on us getting all hot and heavy, how fucking embarrassing? Not to mention life threatening. Third of all the man I love tells me he loves me, in front of my parents. How sweet is that? In my moment of need, where I have to come out, he just takes the lead, and tells my parents everything I couldn't say. Last of all, I told the man I love that I in fact feel the same way, that I love him more than anything, and that I always have. Then I proceeded into school where my love for this wonderful man was unknown, and I let it be known. I admit, I was scared shitless, but not nearly as bad since I had Jacob there to hold my hand.
It wasn't the loudest coming out ever, we just held hands, and I hesitantly kissed him on the cheek (I don't know what happened to me, its like I just froze with everyone staring and whispering, but I wanted to let him know I loved him even when others were around.) but it did the trick. It's not like I paraded down the school waving a gay pride flag screaming "I'm a flaming homo" in purple spandex. I'm sure there are some people that don't know about me and Jake yet. I need to relax, my body is to tense. I was hunched over my seat with my arms crossed on my desk, nervously looking around like a psycho. I needed to calm the hell down. What was I so afraid of? I had Jacob here with me…nothing bad is going to happen.
I couldn't shake this bad feeling in the pit of my stomach though, no matter how happy I was currently feeling (despite my nervousness and unease as everyone kept. Fucking. Staring. At. Me.) I still felt like something bad was going to happen. I just had no clue what. Whatever my parents were going to do, well I don't know if they are going to welcome me home in open arms today, but mom seemed to be dealing with it this morning after she calmed the hell down. Dad was pissed, so very much, I could tell. I'm still not sure at what exactly. Was it that embarrassing to have a gay son? Did he hate gays that bad? I don't see the big deal personally, surely he isn't mad because I did something wrong, not in my eyes anyway, and not because he has my best interest at heart. If that was the case he would have pulled me into his arms this morning and hugged me, happy to see I was finally happy.
Well that's how I would treat my child anyway.
First period was finally over though, the bell knocking me out of my thoughts. I had sat there that whole time, not talking to anyone, as if I ever did, and just waited out the torment. It was like everyone suddenly had heat vision and were boring into my back, setting it on fire with their eyes. I think I even broke a sweat.
I sat up with a sigh, ready to leave that hell hole, and meet my Jacob at our lockers.
"Hey babe." Jake greeted me as I walked up next to him. With a bit of bravery I put my arms around him, hugging him tightly. It was just such a relief to be near him again, I thought I could take being 'out' with him being there with me, but it was kind of hard being without him in that class. I guess I overlooked the fact that I didn't have any classes with him other than lunch (which technically isn't a class) , so we're not really together much during the day.
It was nice being in his arms again though, it erased all my fear and worry by just being near his warmth, smelling that musk and Axe body spray that I loved him to wear.
"Hey there yourself." I say as he returns the embrace, placing his head atop mine and sighing in what I imagine he feels the same as I; content.
"Holy fuck!" I hear a someone yell, and I open my eyes to see Quil, Paul, and Embry standing there gawking at me and Jacob. Well I guess I was right, not everyone knew from this morning's display.
"I knew you two were close but damn…bromance anyone?" I heard Embry say with a chuckle. Where has he been at anyway, I haven't seen him in a while. He's one of Jake's friends I actually like out of the three standing before us.
"Uh hey guys." Jacob says, smiling as we step back from one another. He reaches up and scratches the back of his head as I look down at the ground for like the hundredth time today. Was it getting hot in this school or was it just me? I could feel my face heating up again, I swear my face is a damn stove, it always does this.
"Uh hey Jake." Quil mimics in a smartass tone. I really don't like him sometimes. "Uh so…yea…what the hell's going on here?" he asks like its really any of his business.
"Well guys, I been meaning to tell you something." Jake begins, smiling brightly, apparently not giving a damn about how his friends would react. Jake really is amazing, I wish I had even an ounce of his courage.
"Me and Seth here." He pauses and look down at me, pointing between the two of us. Oh God, here it comes. I mentally cower in the corner of my mind, bracing myself for what is about to happen. Was this what I had such a bad feeling over? "We've taken our friendship to a whole new level…well." he pauses again and chuckles softly.
"We're in love." he tells them, putting his arm around me and his smile widens more as he laughs out in bliss and kisses my cheek.
"Um…what?" Quil asks, being one of Jake's dumber friends, I doubt he quite understood common English. "Like…uh…so what you two are fags now?"
"Shut up Quil." Paul interjects, apparently he was taking this better than Quil. Embry just stood silent with an amused look on his face.
"Um what did you just say asshole?" Oh God, that was Jake. I was looking down trying to avoid this confrontation, but I could hear the venom dripping from Jake's words. He took his arm from around me, and I looked. He was stepping forward, fists clenched and shaking.
Please Jake…don't kill Quil.
Jacob's POV
Okay someone tell me this bastard didn't just say what I think he said.
"Oh well, I always knew Seth was a faggot, when did he turn you?" Oh my God, this fucker really has a death wish. Did he not know that I could rip his head off If I wanted to? Sure he was muscled, purely from the werewolf in him, but I was a good half a foot taller than him and ten times bigger.
"Quil…shut the fuck up man, its not a big deal, stop being a dick." I barely heard Embry say to Quil. I was literally seeing red, no one talks about Seth that way, not when I'm around at least.
"I'm going to fucking kill you." I hiss through clenched teeth, staring down at Quil. I was trembling, but I don't know if it was from anger or the wolf inside me begging to come out and help me rip this motherfucker to shreds.
"Yea, fairy wanna fight huh? Protect your lil bitch's honor huh?"
Oh…that did it. This fucker is going down. My hand shot up without me even willing it to and connected with Quil's nose in bone crunching force. I felt my own hand begin to throb in pain before that familiar heat moved in to alleviate it. I wanted to smile in satisfaction as Quil stumbled back gripping his now broken nose, Embry and Paul catching him before he hit the ground, but I couldn't, my face was twisted into a snarl that wasn't about to dissolve until I beat Quil to a bloody pulp.
I pounced then, Paul and Embry dropped Quil to the floor and moved back. I can't blame them, I would have fucked them up while getting to Quil. I straddled the now cowering boy on the ground, throwing punch after punch to his face. I felt something warm and wet hit my face and coat my hands but I didn't care what it was, I was in a frenzy, and I couldn't stop myself.
"Jake! Stop it!" Paul yelled, but I ignored him and continued my onslaught onto Quil's face. Nobody was going to be able to recognize him once I was done. "Jake you don't want to phase, calm down!" I heard him hiss but again I paid no mind, if I phased…well all I can say is good, well that won't be good for Quil but I'll sure be happy to rip him to shreds with my claws.
"Jake! Please…Please stop it!" I heard someone from behind me beg, and I was still in too much of a frenzy, my fists meeting Quil's face each time I threw a punch, blood spewing from his mouth and his face contorting into pain as it was lashed back and forth. He tried to buck me off of him but it was impossible, I was on him like a vice, he tried to block my punches but he was getting weaker with each blow. He held his hands up in a frail attempt to shield his face and I just pounded into him, I heard his wrist break in a sickening crunch as I wailed on every part of him I could see.
Seth was by me then, his hands on my back, and I realized it was him who was pleading for me to stop. My body calmed then at the soft touch of his hands and my vision cleared from the pure red hatred of Quil. My body stopped trembling and I looked away from the boy I was beating senseless to the boy I loved. Seth stood next to me, his hands trembling as they hesitated to touch me again, as if he was afraid…afraid of me. He was crying, I could see his tear stained cheeks shining in the light, and a few more escaped, falling down his face. My heart broke in two as I realized what I had actually done, that I had made Seth afraid of me…that I had scared him.
There was a crowd of students all around us five, just staring at us…staring at me like I was a mad man. I had briefly heard the chanting 'fight' at the start of my onslaught but it drowned into background noise. I looked to the bloody mess of Quil, and he was trembling from fear, not the shaking that would cause him to phase. I imagine the other student's cheering died down as they realized I intended to kill, and my body froze at the realization of what I'd done.
Seth still stood next to me, crying and looking at me with fearful eyes, like he'd never seen me before this moment, like I was a different person. My heart broke into a thousand more pieces than it already had, practically dust now in my aching chest cavity, and I felt Quil scramble to get out from underneath me, stand, and run out of the doors to school.
"What has happened here?!" I heard someone who I assumed was a teacher yell, pushing themselves past the crowd of people, and I knew I was in trouble. They saw the retreating figure of Quil running away and me with my blood stained fist on the ground near the blood splattered floor.
Wow…I was so totally fucked. I don't even care what the school was about to do to me, I only hoped Seth could forgive me.
"You four, principal's office NOW!" the teacher yelled at all of us in the center of the crowd of students. Seth gave me one last look that I'd never seen before in his eyes, a look that I never wanted to feel on me again, and he walked away silent to the principal's office, followed by Paul and Embry who gave me looks of worry. I sat there for a moment more, staring at my hands, and then prodded by a threat from the teacher of calling the police, I got up and followed to the office obediently.
Man…did I fuck up this time.
A/N: Okay so yet another author's note. I just wanted to say again I hope you enjoyed this and sorry for the wait. And for anyone wondering, the Cullen's will make an appearance soon, I have had a certain Cullen's entrance planned like 4 chapters ago, but I keep putting it off. They will be in the story though soon, so don't fret :].
Thanks to all my awesome reviewers also, you are the ones making this story continue, without you I wouldn't be motivated to write more. Ily guys :D:D:D
