K: "Dood, you're Robin, right?"

R: "Yep, and you're Kristin?"

K: "Yep."

R: "Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight."

K: "Damn it I think Aslper got in the left over birthday cake..."

Calin(Kristin/Jasper) First of, thank you so much to our reviews cause, man I was VERY freaked about the whole Jordan/Maria thing! It really makes me happy to see how many of you are totally for Jasper being a daddy, and It's fuckawesome that you guys are behind Alice 100% I'm in awe of you guys! So this chapter might answer some questions, might have you ask more! But as always leave a little review for us and we'll answer to the best of our ability or come talk with us on the twilighted forums! A big thanks to my PIC Robs who is always making me smile or laugh, when all I want to do is bash my head in…

CBE/Kirmit: (Robs/Alice) Now we'll see if my girl got Jazz to pull his head out. I want to thank a special group of people, the people who read this story, add the their favs list, leave us reviews and write us on the forum. We love you.

Thanks as always to Kels, the super awesome Beta.

Playlist suggestion: All the things she said – t.A.T.u; Buttons – PussyCat Dolls feat. Snoop Dogg; So long, Good bye – 10 years; Things I'll never say – Avril Lavigne; My Wish – Rascal Flatts


Chapter 8: All the Things She Said.

It's for the best Jazz. You warned her you. You told her you didn't want to hurt her. Yet she was the one that insisted that you give 'it', whatever it was, a try. She's got no one to blame but herself.

I shook my head to clear my thought, but it wasn't helping. I could still hear her screaming "Don't come near me ever again!" at me as the tears stained her face.

Fuck! Why the hell was I feeling so guilty about hurting her? It wasn't like we were exclusive, where we?

Regardless, I was the reason she was crying. It was me that hurt her.

But you warned her.

My phone was ringing for the fifth time in the last twenty minutes. Every other time had been Bella. I wasn't in the mood to talk to her. Shit I wasn't in the mood to be here at work, but I needed the cash.

I looked at the phone, Bella smiling face flashing at me. Fuck, might as well pick it up so she leaves me alone.

"What Bells?" Damn my voice was raspier then I thought.

"Jasper.... where's Alice? Is she with you?" Her voice was high with concern. Well, shit if she knew something happened then news sure did travel fast.

"No... I don't..." Wait, why can't she find Alice? She wouldn't do something stupid would she? "Oh fuck Bella, I fucking hurt her... I promised... and…" I lost it at this point, I was angry at myself for getting close, for letting her get to me like this. But most of all I was angry that I hurt her.

You really should have walked away Jazz.

"What happened Jazz?" She sounded more confused then anything.

"She saw me and Maria…" I wiped away a tear. That's odd…

"And?" She prompted.

"And I had to make a choice, to paraphrase; either pay her, keep giving her dick when she wants it, or I'll never see Jordy again. This was after I told her about Alice."

"And why would this be affecting Alice now?" Oh God don't make me say it Bella!

"Because she saw…" I trailed off feeling, like the air was knocked out of my lungs.

"WHAT DID YOU DO JASPER?" Bella screamed at me.

"I hurt her..." I whispered, hoping she didn't hear me. "And I lost Jordy…" No such luck.

"Fuck! I have to find her. I will deal with you later!" She warned as she hung up on me. I hit the off button and slammed my head into the desk. Today was going to be a long fucking day.

------

Kelci needed a break so I managed to drag my 'emo' ass out of the manager's office to take over the register. I wasn't in the mood to be a fucking people person. Not only did I manage to fuck up my life, but I fucked up two others. Alice and Jordan's. The two princesses, my traitorous mind teased. Yeah, I lost them both All because of that fucking gold digging, no class, slut. I always thought that the love of my child would keep me loving Maria, but now it was clear that it didn't matter. She showed her true colors and I fucking hated it.

"Do you have the new Linkin Park Album?" A voice squeaked at me. I didn't even bother to lift my head from my hands, as I removed one to point him into the direction his request. I brought my hand back, rubbing both over my face roughly and pulling them through my hair. I looked up out of instinct, and I thought I was fucking hallucinating.

"I'm sorry." I managed to gurgle out. Alice just bit her lower lip and placed a couple of shopping bags on the counter. I raised an eyebrow at her as my eyes widened, taking in the store names on the bags.

"Those are for Jordan, Heir Whitlock." She said, immediately my eyes locked on to her. How the fuck did she know that? "You know what? You are such a fucking hypocrite. At least I worked for my money. And if you think that you're giving up your daughter for her sake, you're a fucking liar. You're just being selfish." She glared at me. How am I being selfish? I don't want her to be a pawn in Maria's twisted mind games. If I'm out of the picture she won't be tortured into that. I felt my jaw open to say something, but I felt as if my tongue weighed a ton.

She put up a finger to silence me, obviously aware that I was trying to respond. "Maybe you should figure out a way to take your child from that skank instead of walking away and leaving her to defend herself against mommy dearest." She spat out. I knew she was right. I had been trying to find the courage to fight Maria for Jordan. But she hardly knew me, how could she possibly be happier with me? At least with Maria, she's with my mother and around the ones she knows. Not a stranger.

Without another word, Alice turned around, and that's when I noticed her hair was shorter. But that wasn't what made my heart shatter more then it already was. It was the fact that as she walked away from me, I saw her hold her self around her middle. Resembling someone that was trying to keep themselves together, as her shoulders slumped forward in defeat.

She was broken too…

Because of me.

There was defiantly a reserved spot in Hell for Jasper Thomas Whitlock.

---------

As soon as I got home, I ran up to my room. Rose tried to call after me but I really didn't fucking care. I just wanted to become unconscious so I could stop thinking, stop feeling, just stop being.

Luck wasn't on my side, because as soon as I entered my room, I could smell her. And when I closed my eyes, I could see her. Fuck, my skin would tingle as if I was being touched by her.

Now I was lying on my floor, staring into the black nothingness. The house was silent, telling me that Rose had gone to bed. Bella probably was too, if she was even home.

"WHERE THE FUCK IS HE?!" I groaned as I heard Bella scream for me. Well, she's home. I could hear her running up the stairs. I was quite surprised that she didn't fall up them.

"You inconsiderate, self righteous, asshole!" she screamed as she kicked me.

"Ow! Fuck Bella!" I whined, sitting up to rub my shin.

"Do you realize how much trouble you caused? Fuck, not only is Edward ready to kill you because you've disrespected his sister, but now, now you fucking ruined her, Jasper! She was a mess when I got to her!" She pulled out her phone, dialing a number before hitting the speaker button.

The voice I heard was male and panicky, but not one I knew.

"Bella? Hey can you do me a favor? I can't get a hold of Alice, I've called her cell, the house phone, I've tried texting her. I even called Vivian, the professor she's close with and she said she never made it to class today. I am really freaking out. She never misses class, except for that one time with your cousin. Can you please find her and tell her to call me? I feel like such a shit for leaving her alone after we got into a fight. Please, I couldn't live with myself if anything happened. Can you check with your cousin, maybe she isn't answering because she's with him. Please Bella, the last time she was like this...well I really can't talk about it." His voice cracked as if he was trying not to let his real fears seep through his voice, "Please, I really can't lose my sister. Please Bella."

"This," she motioned to the phone as she snapped it shut. "Is the last of several messages J.T!" I flinched when she called me that. Shit is serious with her when she abbreviates my name.

"Of course, he blew up your phone. He's like her fucking warden." I growled, sounding more like a petulant child. "I can't believe you're fucking him." She glared at me with the last comment, but chose not to respond to it.

"Well, maybe if my cousin didn't think with his dick, Edward wouldn't have to protect Alice from you! What the fuck do you think he was talking about Jasper? YOU! He knew you did something! And when he sees how broken his little sister is," She sighed shaking her head. "I don't know if I can even stop him!" She sat down on the floor next to me, her anger rolling off her in waves.

I deserved what ever Edward had planned for me.

Just then Bella punched me hard in my shoulder.

"Fuck! Will you stop hitting me!" I complained, rubbing my shoulder. I glanced at her hand and sighed.

"Charlie always told you to leave your thumb out Bells." I said softly as I watcher bend and extend her fingers. Shit I hope she didn't break anything.

"Don't you dare bring up my father" she hissed. "And what the fuck? You kissed Maria!? Are you fucking insane?"

"She kissed me! I pushed her off. Why did you tell Alice about Jordan?" It dawned at me, she's the reason Alice called me 'Heir Whitlock'. "Shit! You told her about Whitlock Ranching, didn't you?!" This made me mad at her.

"Excuse me for not letting Alice think you were secretly married! I only told her about Jordan so she would understand why Maria was even in the goddamned picture. And for your information J.T., all I said about the Whitlock Ranching was you were to inherit all that goes with it. Not the fact that your family is the number one supplier of ranching things in the US."

"She called me 'Heir Whitlock,' Isabella." I hissed.

"Well you are!" she hissed back.

I threw myself back, forgetting that I didn't have a pillow, hitting my head hard against the floor. "Fuck"

"What are you gonna do Jazz?"

"Talk to a lawyer. I have a meeting on Friday. I need you to pick up Rose from work."

She nodded. "Are you giving up Jordy?" She whispered.

"And if you think that you're giving up your daughter for her sake, you're a fucking liar. You're just being selfish." Alice's words ran rampant in my head ever since she said them.

"No, I'm gonna fight for her."

"And Alice?" She asked hopefully.

"Since when did you become team 'Rich Bitch?'" She backhanded my in the stomach; causing me to jump.

"Fuck you J.T! You know what. I think Alice is better of without your stupid ass. Shit, you saw her. She's got a sexy new hair cut and everything. She doesn't need you!"

Bella was right, of course. She did have a sexy new hair cut. Fuck, she was beautiful with the long hair, but the short cut was feisty looking. Just like Alice is.

Yeah, she's better off without me. My life is such a fucking mess. I would only drag her and drown her. But why did it hurt so much?

"She doesn't want me in her life Bells. I might as well give her that." I sighed dejectedly.

"You're making a big mistake Jazz." She said softly as she pulled herself off the floor.

"I hope you know what you're doing." She added as an after thought, before closing the door behind her. I knew what I wanted and I knew what I needed to do, but they were two completely different things.

------

"Well, well, well. Look at you boss man! You do know how to dress smartly." Kelci teased as she came into the store. She handed me a coffee before logging into the computer to start her shift.

"So seriously boss man, what's up?" She turned to face me as she took a sip of her coffee.

"I have a meeting, and I might as well look like an adult" I rolled my eyes at her. She just laughed.

"Well that little thing that comes in to see you is a fool if she can resist you in a tie." She teased winking at me. "Seriously, Jasper, you look like a completely different person." She gave me a small smile before she wandered off to check the stock of various things.

I went back to the manager's office, still fucking freaked out that I had important business shit to do. Yeah, I never imagined that I would have that reasonability when I took this job. But then again, when I took this job, it was just something to pass the time until something better comes along. Like a record deal. God, I wish Alice has better luck with that then me.

It was finally six o'clock, time for me to head to the law offices of T. Jones and Associates.

"I should be back before you have to lock up, but you have a key just in case, right?" I asked Kelci as I was heading out. She just nodded in my direction and got back to helping her customer.

"Tyler! You stay here with her until I get back." I pointed at Kelci. I knew Tyler would complain, but I was hoping the look I gave him let him know I was serious. I really hated that I had to see this Jones person so late, which meant leaving Kelci alone. Sure she could take care of her own, but I didn't trust some of the sleaze balls that liked to hang out around here. Even if Tyler couldn't take care of a goldfish, I felt slightly better about leaving.

-----

The meeting went about as well as I had planned, I found out what my legal rights were and how to proceed with the paper work. I was nervous as hell at first, I mean fuck, am I doing the right thing? Can taking Jordan from Maria be what's best for her?

"Figure out a way to take your child from that skank instead of walking away." Alice's words were still ringing through my head. As much as I doubted myself, I couldn't doubt her. If anything, I can have Jordan stay in Texas with momma until I straighten my shit out.

When I reached the house, Rose was outside waiting for me. I got out of the car and walked up to her. "Is Bells ready?"

"She's spending the night with Alice." she looked at me, trying to read my face. I knew what she was looking for. She wanted to know how I felt about that.

"That's great, Bella needs friends." I shrugged, while lighting up a cigarette. "Besides," I flipped my zippo shut, "makes sense since they got close. Bella is fucking her warden after all."

"What the fuck? Did the hair dye damage your last remaining brain cells?" She took the cigarette from me, taking a deep drag off of it. I raised and eyebrow at her.

"Explain"

She rolled her eyes. "Men. Men are just so fucking dense sometimes."

"Wait, are you telling me that in less then a week you're going from 'that whore' to 'poor Alice'?" I snorted at her. "You know how much I love this game, and guess what, I call bullshit."

She rolled her eyes again. "No big brother, the bullshit here is you. You're acting like you don't fucking care what happened. I know you better then that, Jasper. She bought your daughter fucking clothes! How can you not care?"

Of course I fucking care, that was a very big gesture on her part to do that. It showed me that no matter how much she hated me, she didn't want to see my child suffer. Bella told me what Alice had said about the way Maria dresses Jordan. I never took the time to notice, only because I was to busy memorizing her smile.

"You know about the clothes then huh?" She nodded, waiting for me to continue. "What does it matter Rose, she wants me out of her life. Her wish, my command. Yeah I care. I care enough to see her happy, and if that means taking me out of the picture. Bibbity boppity fucking boo, I'm out. Simple as that."

"Nothing is that simple Jasper, you and I both know it. She's under your skin. I saw it that night when she slapped the shit out of you. Your every thought is consumed by her." I opened my mouth to protest. "Don't deny it Jazz, you're a horrible fucking liar."

Just then the cab pulled up, effectively ending our conversation.

------

I was glad Rose had enough fore thought to get a cab to the bar. I was planning on drinking tonight, and I didn't need another fucking ticket or more time in the local cell. When we got there, Rose made her customary trip to the bathroom, while I stood outside with Emmett.

"Not gonna perform tonight?" He looked me over, crossing his arms over his chest.

I shook my head. "Not gonna play guitar."

"Piano? I heard Leah telling Jake they needed to get it ready for a performance tonight." I shook my head again, wondering who the hell would be daring enough to need it.

"What fuck are you going to do?" Emmett demanded.

"Sing."

"Sing? You think you're going to win Ms. Alice back with a song?" What the fuck!? Why is every one up in my shit today? Fuck, did I have a sign that said 'Unsolicited advice needed'?

"Yes, sing. No I'm not planning on winning Alice back, she was never mine to begin with." Emmett just rolled his eyes.

"Oh shit! I hear Snoop D oh double G!" Leave it to Emmett to know that. But he was right because as soon as he said it, I saw Bella and Alice pull up. I knew from where I was standing they couldn't see me. Once Bella had parked, I watched as she joined Alice to sit on the rear of the car, as the danced and sang along. I knew the CD they were listening to, a favorite of Bella's when she needs to 'unwind'.

But the sight of Alice singing and dancing around to "Buttons" was making it very hard for me, both figuratively and literally. Watching as she wiggled and ran her hands along her body in ways that made memories of our weekend, the time in the jeep and our first night came crashing back.

My body ached for her in ways I had never felt I needed before.

"Ha, ha...hot!Ha, ha...loosen up!Ha, ha...yeahHa, ha...I can't take this"

My jaw dropped as I watched Alice stand up, and start swaying her hips to the Moroccan sounds that was playing in the dance break, her hips shaking in a way that would make any professional dancer beg for lessons.

Reluctantly I pulled my eyes of her hips and looked at her face, she was smiling and singing as her hands caressed her neck running up through her hair. But it was then, that I noticed her smile wasn't reaching her eyes. To the outsider, she looked like she was having fun, just being a girl with her girlfriend. But I could see it in her eyes; she was as empty as I was.

What the fuck? This confused the shit out of me. Why did I feel so empty, and why did I feel the need to go to her?

I looked over at Emmett who was dancing along in his own 'thug' style, chuckling as I went inside.

Rose and I sat close to the door. Not our usual spot, but I knew she wanted to be close to where Emmett was, so I didn't bitch.

About twenty minutes, the girls finally came inside, much to my relief. Bella made sure to stop and talk.

"Hi guys!" She sat down and kissed my cheek, my eyes never leaving Alice, as she tried to look every where but at me. Alice looked stunning in her tight fitting brown shirt that showed her glorious shoulders and collar bone. I had to bite my lip to keep from licking them as I imagined the taste of her skin as I kissed her. She shifted slightly, obviously uncomfortable being here. I'm sure my obvious ogling of her wasn't helping either. But damn, those black skinny jeans she was wearing, showed of her fuck-tastic legs perfectly.

"So how was the meeting with the lawyer?" Bella asked me snapping me out of my fantasies. I looked over at my cousin, slightly irritated that she interrupted me.

"Good. I gave him information about the hotel they were at and he's going to talk to the workers to see if they can verify that Maria -" I saw Alice cringe out of the corner of my eyes, "- did in fact leave Jordan alone. And he said that as long as I'm not doing stupid shit, he doesn't see any reason why I can't get custody." I explained. I watched as Alice snapped her eyes at me, obviously surprised with this new bit of information.

"Are you excited?" Rose asked, her excitement wasn't masked in the slightest. I smirked at her.

"Scared shitless," I looked directly at Alice, our eyes locking. "But I have to grow up sometime, might as well start now." Alice's eyebrows furrowed slightly, no doubt trying to figure out why I was saying this to her. Honestly the only reason I could think of, was because she's the one that pointed out the errors of my ways.

"Well good, I'm glad that he thinks this will be easy for you. It's about time something went your way where that whore is concerned." Rose seethed. I laughed as Alice's eyes went wide, looking from Rose to Bella. I pushed Bella slightly towards Alice, hinting that she needed to get Alice out of here.

"Well I'll see you guys later." Bella said, taking the hint as she slid out of the booth. "Break a leg Jasper" She said giving me a kiss on my cheek, before leaving.

I found myself watching Alice through out most of the night. I was scared shitless about what I was doing tonight, but I had spent enough time singing the damn song, that Rose claimed I did better then the band themselves. Watching Alice though, made the fear lessen. Why the fuck was that.

About two hours into the night, I watched as Paul, Emmett and Embry set the stage up for the piano. I shifted in my seat to lean forward. This should be interesting, they don't often get pianists in here.

I vaguely heard who Paul was announcing, my insides in knots for some reason. All I got was Cullen. That's an interesting last name. Wonder if it's any relation to Alice.

What I wasn't surprised for was seeing Alice sitting at the piano. She kind of reminded me of a little child, as she sat there, but still beautiful as her fingers dance over the ivories, playing the opening cords to a song.

"I'm tuggin' at my hairI'm pullin' at my clothesI'm tryin' to keep my coolI know it shows.""I'm staring at my feetMy cheeks are turning redAnd I'm searching for the words inside my head."

My jaw dropped, was there anything this girl couldn't fucking do and make it look absolutely mesmerizing?

"'Cause I'm feeling nervous Tryin' to be so perfect'Cause I know you're worth it, you're worth itYeah..."

When the chorus kicked in she increased the tempo. Holy shit she listens to Avril?

I snorted at myself. Obviously you do to jackass if you recognized it!

"She's good." Rose leaned over to whisper in my ear. All I could do was nod my head. I felt Rose touch my chin, as she giggled. "Don't drool, its gross, and a turn off." She teased.

"It don't do me any good it's just a waste of timeWhat use is it to you what's on my mind?If it ain't comin' out, we're not going anywhereSo why can't I just tell you that I care?"

I wonder who this song for, it obviously wasn't me. She would look at me if it was, but instead she focused on her hands, her eyes closing periodically as she sang.

"'Cause I'm feeling nervousTryin' to be so perfect'Cause I know you're worth it, you're worth it Yeah..."

Please don't change, your perfect, a voice sounded in my head. Where the fuck did that come from?

When she was done, she timidly said thank you to the crowd before rushing off to sit back down with Bella. I found it slightly amusing how shy she seemed. It reminded me of our drive to my place.

Just as I got up to go to the bar, I saw Alice lean over on to Bella.

"Get me something strong from the bar please" I hear her ask, thankful that they were sitting close to where I was waiting.

"Okay, what do you want?"

"Well, not tequila 'cause, well I don't remember anything from that." That flattened my ego some. "And whiskey makes me weepy." I smirked.

"How about Vodka?" Bella volunteered. I heard Alice make a noise to indicate a yes, giving me the perfect idea.

"Hey Whitlock, what do you want, bloodsucker?" Jake teased, as he started getting my whiskey sour ready.

God I loved this kid.

"Well Rose wants an 'absolute pleasure.'" I could hear Emmett snort from the edge of the bar, making me shake my head. "When Bells gets here, don't let her leave with out a "Dr. Peter Venkman" for Alice okay?" Jake shook his head.

"You do know how much vodka is in that right?" Jake asked raising an eyebrow at me as he moved on to make Rose's drink. I nodded, laughing slightly. One thing I learned about Alice was we both had a tendency of memorizing stupid movie facts.

Just then Bella joined me. "Oh Jake my love, make my drinks first." She teased leaning over the bar, giving Jake a perfect view of her goodies.

"You dirty little whore." I teased and she laughed. Embry came over asking what Bella needed, and set to work on her appletinis.

"So what did you think of Alice's piano skills?" She asked, leaning back against the bar.

"She's amazing, but that's no surprise." Bella gave me a knowing smile, as Jake set down my drinks. I went ahead and paid for all five, and told Bella to give 'Venkman' to Emmett if Alice doesn't want it. She looked at me confused.

I sat back down at my table, giving Rose her drink as I watched Bella hand the drink I ordered to Alice. I saw her look at confused then laugh once Bella told her the name. She shook her head as she took a sip of her tini and I wondered briefly if she would come to say something to me about the drink. But I could tell from her smile, she got the joke.

Rose nudged me, getting my attention. "Your next big brother." She pointed to the stage, where the house band was getting ready. The nerves hit me in full force. I looked at Rose, my eyes wide with panic.

"You'll do great, just let it out" she assured me, squeezing my hand slightly as I got up.

I walked to the stage and Paul announced me. Taking the mic, I looked over at the crowd in the house. I heard Tom start the count. Well shit, here goes nothing, I thought before the words to the song came out.

"I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,And each road leads you where you want to go,And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,I hope you choose the one that means the most to if one door opens to another door closed,I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,"

I looked over at Rose, then Bella, both giving me encouraging smiles. They knew I was stepping way out of my comfort zone with this song.

"But more than anything, more than anything,My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,You never need to carry more than you can hold,"

I looked over at Alice smiling slightly, before taking my eyes off her.

"And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,Yeah, this, is my wish."

I do wish her nothing but the best. Sure we had a bad start, but the times we had, no matter how much we fucking hated each other, were good. I looked back over at her, wanting her to know that I understood her. She wanted someone that I couldn't be.

"I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,All the ones who love you, in the place you left,I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,And you help somebody every chance you get,Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,And you always give more than you take."

I continued with the song, smiling at the couples that started dancing. Well shit, I wonder if this is what it feels like to be a major act then someone that does covers. I looked back over at Alice, my eyes locking on to her green eyes, as I sang the last part of the song.

"This is my wishI hope you know somebody loves youMay all your dreams stay big"

I hoped my eyes told her everything I wanted to say. I wanted to tell her I'm sorry forgetting into this fucked situation with her, I'm sorry that I hurt her. That I know somewhere there is someone out there that loves her the way she deserves to be loved. But most of all, I'm sorry that man isn't me.

I don't know what possessed me to go to her table after my song, but I found myself walking over to her. When I reached her, I took her hand, pulling her up from her seat. She looked at me confused, and fuck, I felt confused too. It was like my brain was on fucking auto pilot again.

Once she was standing in front of me, I cupped her face in my hands, her soft skin was warm as her cheeks turned pink. I dipped my head, gently brushing my lips to hers, kissing her like a first kiss should have been. I could feel her hesitancy, but she moved in rhythm with mine. I felt moisture on my cheeks, pretty sure it was from my eyes. I pulled away resting my forehead against hers. Her eyes were still closed as she steadied her breathing.

"I'm sorry for everything." I whispered, pulling away to leave the bar.

This is going to bite me in the ass, I just know it. I just needed to tell her sorry.