Linka stood under the hot water. She just let it wash over her. She thought for a while about her contract. It was a lot of restrictions for her to follow. It was a hard life just watching while the world burned. She pulled out her ponytail and let her hair fall. It was long and needed to be trimmed. She didn't want to try to trim it herself. She just her hair be weighed down by the water. It was nice. She closed her eyes and listened to the sound of the water hitting her hair, shoulders, and the shower floor. It was soothing. There were no voices, no commands, no anything, except the rhythm of water.

"Hey sunshine." Linka pulled herself back to reality. The voice was outside the shower. She stuck her head out of the shower tentatively. It was Dean.

"What in the name of all that's holy are you doing?!" She pulled the curtain closer to her.

"Your phone is ringing and I don't want to put Heaven on hold."

"My… OH SHOOT!" Linka pulled a towel into the shower wrapped herself in it and ran to her phone. Her hands were still wet so it slipped at first but she eventually got a good grip and answered it. "Hello, Hi dad!" She paused smiling while she had the phone held to her ear. "Oh I was outside for a bit, I needed some air. What?...oh yeah…it's great!" Linka paced a little while she listened. "Yeah…Of course…Wait, what?...No! …Dad… Ok…I'll do that. Dad…I love you. Please" Linka paused and the smile faded. "Please be careful for me. Ok I love you. Bye" Linka closed the phone and put it on the bed. Her hair dripped water down her shoulders and back. It fell in tiny droplets to the carpet. She turned to see Dean standing in front of her.

"Stop staring at me. It is really creepy." She crossed her arms over her chest.

"So your dad know about you and…"

"No." She cut him off and gave her response rather angrily.

"Well I'm just wondering why you told me but not your dad. That seems like not 'honoring your father' to me."

"I know that." She pulled the towel tighter. "I'd like to finish my shower now. If my phone rings just leave it I'll get it later." She retreated to the bathroom.

"All this cryptic holy messenger stuff is getting really old really fast!" Linka heard that as she shut the door. She knew that. She had to live with lying and hiding what she was everyday of her life. There was no one who knew the pressure and loneliness that she felt. She tried to block that but it was not going to stop she felt the hot sensation throughout her body. She walked to the bathroom counter and slammed her fists on the polished surface. She realized that she had forgotten to turn the shower off. She got back in and began to feel her anger and self loathing rise. She had not done this in years. She had kept repressing anything that made her feel like she was worthless. It all came back. Memories of her mother, lying to her father, watching things happen and not doing anything, fear, anxiety, panic, and depression all flooded her. She gripped her hands and felt the nails dug into her palms as she remembered events and people she had met. She remembered the kids her age she had seen walking to and from school. She remembered seeing couples holding hands and waking as she remained alone. She remembered speaking with the angels and asking them if everything was going to be okay, they had not given her a straight answer but she followed them blindly. She felt alone. She had always tried to ignore that gnawing feeling because it could lead to other things. She stood under the water remembered every time that she had stood by. She was quiet under the stream of high pressure water. She just stood there and waited until she calmed down. She did not want to appear weak. She was not, at least most of the time.

Linka brushed her hair out. Loose strands fell from her head and drifted to the carpet. She flipped the mane of dark hair from one side to the other. Dean was cleaning his guns on the table in the corner. Linka stopped brushing and pet a section of hair. It was shiny and soft. She had always liked her hair. It was like her mother's, dark, shiny, and soft. The ends were split in places but that was easily fixed. She put the brush down. The awkward silence had returned and filled the room. All there was was the sound of guns being disassembled and put back together. There was a faint sound. It sounded like something that Linka knew, that she had heard. It was talking. A voice that she had only heard once. She closed her eyes and listened. It was faint like a whisper from across a room. It grew louder and louder until she couldn't hear anything else just the voice. It was different, not like the angels which were more rigid and mighty, and not like the demons which were oily and devious. It was seductive. She listened to it, it was not speaking to her but she wanted it to. She kept listening not even paying attention to it but just listening to it. It seemed to offer her the promise of everything and anything. In the back of her mind she knew what it was and that she should stop now. Linka raised her hand and hit herself across her face. The loud sound of flesh hitting flesh filled the room. Linka was back to the room and drawing shallow breathes. The place where she had hit herself was red.

"Okay… what was that about?"Linka slowly turned to Dean

"Lucifer and your brother."