I'll Be Seeing You

Rated: T

Title taken from "I'll Be Seeing You" by Billie Holiday

Chapter title (and subsequent song lyrics) taken from "In The Wee Small Hours Of The Morning" by Frank Sinatra

Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl, etc. You know the drill

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Chuck spots Nate and Serena leaving St. Luke's. He watches them until they get into a cab together and Chuck decides that now is as good a time as any to try to see Blair. Sure, it's now past visiting hours, but he's Chuck Bass and whatever Chuck wants, Chuck gets. He enters the hospital and strides up to the receptionist's desk.

A tired young woman peers over the desk and looks at Chuck disapprovingly. "Visiting hours are over, sir."

"I'm aware." Chuck slides several hundred dollar bills across the desk and watches the receptionist's hand inch towards the paper. She looks up at Chuck hesitantly. "Go on," he nods, smirking, "I won't tell if you won't tell."

The receptionist pockets the money and turns her attention back to her Cosmo magazine. Chucks takes this opportunity to head to Blair's room. He turns corner after corner, shuddering at the thought that people die in these passing rooms every single day. Not his Blair, though. He'll make sure of that. 308... 306...304... Chuck counts down until he reaches room 302. His stomach is knotted with nervousness. Placing his hand on the door, he takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. Chuck isn't sure he can bear seeing Blair looking so fragile. He pushes the door open, eyes still closed, and shuts it behind him. The beeping of Blair's heart monitor lets him know she is stable. She's okay, she's okay, she's okay, Chuck repeats in his head like his own personal mantra. He slowly opens his eyes. Lucky thing the heart monitor is not hooked up to him because when Chuck gets a glimpse of Blair, his heart stops.

Blair is still unconscious. Her head is wrapped in gauze and Chuck notices her coffee-colored curls splayed across the pillow in all but one shaven spot, where the doctors had drilled a hole through her skull just hours earlier. Her face is bruised; a particularly angry one colors Blair's cheek a deep purple. Her leg is in a cast and deep cuts cover both of her small arms. Chuck sits down in a chair next to his Sleeping Beauty. Despite her broken form, he thinks she is just as perfect as ever.

"Blair, gorgeous, it's me, Chuck," he whispers to her as if she can hear him, "I need you to come back to me soon. Please. I'm not doing so good without you around. I know I've done some really stupid things to you in the past. I apologize for that." Choking back a sob, he takes her hand in his and traces circles on top of her soft skin with his thumb. "I'm sorry for putting you here in this bed. I don't know if I can ever make this up to you, and I doubt you'll forgive me once you wake up. But I need you to know that I didn't mean a single word back there in the restaurant about you being a game to me. Not one word. You're so much more than a game to me, Blair; you're my obsession - you consume my every waking thoughts. I love you, Waldorf. Simple as that."

He sucks in a deep breath of air and continues."Truthfully, Blair, My only regret, out of all the stupid, idiotic things I've ever done in my life, isn't that I used to shovel coke up my nose on a daily basis, or that I'm addicted to scotch - I mean, between you and me, I've never gone a day without it - or that I've fucked a hundred... well, two hundred... " Chuck smiles triumphantly before dropping his mouth into a serious frown. "Actually, forget the number. It doesn't matter. I mean to say that my only regret is causing you heartache. I would die a thousand times over to prevent you from feeling any kind of pain ever again." At this point Chuck on the verge of losing control. He stands up and paces around the room, fists jammed in his pockets. Breathe, he reminds himself. "I just want you to be happy, Blair. If Nate makes you happy, then I will accept that - but not until you consciously hear exactly what I'm telling you tonight. Once you hear me out, then you can choose. I'm ready now. I want to be with you."

A tear trails down his cheek as Chuck sits down quietly. He takes Blair's hand in his again, eyes transfixed on her battered face. He realizes how many times he has hurt Blair in the past but he has never, ever imagined losing her, especially not like this. Their never-ending cycles of arguing remind Chuck that he has a heart, that he has the capacity to care enough about someone to keep coming back for more. He doesn't know if he can change, but he'll try, he decides. "You know something, Cat? I think this time around is right for us. I don't think I can possibly screw up any worse than getting you into this mess, right?" Chuck only uses the nickname "Cat" for Blair when they are in the most intimate moments. He's seen Breakfast at Tiffany's enough to know that like Holly's precious Cat, Blair is the only person he would ever run back for, especially in the rain.

"I don't want you anymore and I can't see why anyone else would." Chuck looks at Blair with stone eyes, jaw set in place, his hands clenched around an empty glass of scotch. His stomach drops to the floor when he realizes the words that have just left his mouth. It's almost as if he could pinpoint the exact moment when Blair's heart breaks. He wishes he can take back what he just said but it's too late; the damage is done. The tiny brunette stands up abruptly and walks out the door and into the rain.

Rode hard and put away wet, Blair's heart crumbles at the thought of being compared to a dirty horse. Especially by Chuck. Her expensive heels click-clack rapidly against the cold, hard cement. She doesn't feel like taking a cab; she just wants to run away, to get lost in the sea of people, never to be found again.

Meanwhile, Chuck sits at the bar, trying to come to terms with the magnitude of what has just transpired and attempting to figure out what to do next. He orders another scotch and swirls the amber liquid in its glass, looking into the cup as if it will somehow give him the answer. Suddenly he laughs. It's so obvious. He runs out the door, only to be greeted with a damn-near torrential downpour. Looking down the street, he scans the sidewalks for his lover. Chuck's limo waits outside and he hops in, directing his driver to head straight. Goddamnit Blair, where are you? he asks himself, searching out the window for her. Suddenly a flash of red in the distance catches his eye. Her headband.

"Stop!" Chuck barks at the driver. He gets out and starts running, his Michael Kors trench coat getting battered by rain droplets. "BLAIR!" he shouts. He doesn't care how stupid he looks; he just needs to reach Blair before she takes his words too seriously and does something stupid. Blair is too far ahead to hear him. He calls for her again, running as fast as his brown leather shoes allow. Reaching a street corner, a panicked Chuck looks around in all directions. Blair is nowhere to be found. He frantically picks a direction and starts running. Then he sees her. Standing alone, soaked and shivering under the awning of a Thai restaurant is his Cat.

"I'm sorry, Waldorf. I'm so sorry. I should never have said things I didn't mean." Chuck takes her face in both hands and looks into her big brown eyes intently. "I was looking everywhere for you. It's raining and you're going to get sick. Let me take you home."

A trembling Blair is trying desperately not to cry. She fails. "No. Leave me alone, Chuck."

"Blair," Chuck urges, "please just get in the limo. You never have to talk to me again after today but let me take me home. I feel terrible."

Blair crosses her arms. "So do I. But fine, I guess I'll get in if you stop begging me. It's the least you could do you." she says haughtily, accepting his offer.

They get in Chuck's limo and he wraps his arms around her, trying to warm her up. Blair is nestled snugly beneath his left arm - right where she belongs, Chuck notes - and she buries her head into his coat, still crying. "I still hate you, Bass. Nothing you ever say will make this okay."

Chuck nods, surreptitiously smiling because she fits so perfectly in his arms and it makes him feel like he he has the world in his hands. "I know, Cat."

"Cat?" Blair inquires through tears. "I think you've had enough to drink today."


Chuck smirks. "Text me when you figure it out, Waldorf."

Later, when Blair snuggles under her down comforter and turns on her favorite film, she realizes what Chuck means. She watches Holly step out of the cab and drop off Cat because she feels the animal needs to find someone more worthy. So sad, Blair thinks. Suddenly, Holly realizes her mistake and she jumps out of the cab and frantically searches for her companion in the rain. Tears of relief flood her eyes as she finds Cat and scoops him up in her arms lovingly. "That mother chucker!" Blair exclaims loudly, thankful that no one is around to hear. Her eyes gleam and she smiles, taking out her phone to text Chuck.

- I figured it out Bass.

-And?

-And I still hate u! But I luv the nickname :)

Maybe one day, she silently decides.

Through salty tears, Chuck smiles at this vivid recollection. It started off as one of their worst moments and ended up one of his favorites. He softly traces Blair's jawline and gazes at her. Her ruby red lips are marred by a deep cut, but Chuck sees them as being nothing short of perfection. Even at her worst, Blair is better than Chuck's best. He leans down and gingerly presses his lips to the brunette's. Never does the world see a tender Chuck Bass; the only person who will ever possess that luxury is Blair Cornelia Waldorf. Chuck is happy to keep it that way. Gently, he peels back the white bedsheets and fits himself next to Blair on the hospital bed. She still smells faintly like vanilla and oranges, his favorite scent because it is hers, and hers alone.

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It's now three thirty in the morning and a tired Chuck Bass is humming a terrible rendition of a Frank Sinatra song.

When your lonely heart has learned it's lesson...You'd be hers if only she would call...In the wee small hours of the morning...That's the time you miss her most of all...

Chuck only breaks his eyes away from Blair when his eyelids start closing, heavy with exhaustion. He falls asleep, his arm draped around her protectively.

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Okay so I really do love writing this story! l I took some poetic license in manipulating what happened after the infamous "Arabian horse" scene, mainly because the viewers never quite got a good idea of what Chuck was thinking after the fact. Besides, that scene needed some happiness somehow! Anyways, if updating is slower than usual, it's because I have finals all this week and would really like to not fail out of college =) Thank you so much for all the reviews! They really make my day!

Nakii-Ilylac: I wish I could tell you Nate will leave Chuck alone but... ;)

Samantha: It seemed harsh, but from Nate's perspective it is like he knows Chuck loves Blair but he isn't doing anything about it but trying to ruin Nate and Blair's relationship. Nate wants Chuck to either not tell her and stay away, or to tell her and let Blair choose.

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UP NEXT: Sleeping Beauty awakens.