I'll Be Seeing You

Rated: T

Title taken from "I'll Be Seeing You" by Billie Holiday

Chapter title taken from "More Than You Know" by Rosemary Clooney

Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl, etc. You know the drill.

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Blair is awoken in the morning by the sound of Chuck snoring. Groaning inwardly, she leans over and reaches for her phone on the nightstand. Upon checking her phone for messages, Blair sees that there are six unread texts from Serena in her inbox. Damn it! Blair thinks to herself. She had gotten so wrapped up in last night's festivities that she'd forgotten to call Serena like she promised she would; then again, when Chuck Bass plans your birthday celebration, there isn't much time to remember the details.

Realizing she is unclothed, Blair stretches across Chuck to retrieve his button-down shirt that had been so carelessly discarded on the floor the night before. Chuck stirs in his sleep mildly and so Blair whispers a quiet "Sorry, babe," before grabbing the shirt and settling on her side of the bed.

As Blair slips the shirt sleeves on her arms, Chuck's snoring stops abruptly and he turns to look at his girlfriend through groggy eyes. "You're up early," he remarks before yawning.

Blair smiles sweetly and ruffles Chuck's unusually messy hair. "Well if there wasn't a jackhammer going off in here, perhaps I could have slept longer."

"Oh, it's not that bad." Chuck comments, observing as Blair buttons up his shirt. With new-found energy, Chuck rolls on top of her. "Where exactly are you off to this morning?" he asks, toying with the top button of the shirt.

Blair cups Chuck's cheek gently before answering, "None of your business. I've got some matters to straighten out today. Private matters."

"You mean you're scheming without me? But I thought we were a team," Chuck replies with mock disappointment. He leans down and kisses her lightly on the lips.

Blair returns the kiss with fervor before playfully wrestling Chuck off of her. "Oh shush. I've decided to give you a day off from the Sherlock and Watson act. You'll thank me later," she answers casually.

A gleam appears in Chuck's eye before he smirks, "Somehow I predict you'll be the one doing the thanking."

"God, Bass, your charm is irresistible sometimes," Blair jests, collecting her dress and undergarments and heading to the bathroom to change.

After changing, Blair exits the bathroom with phone in hand as she texts Serena.

S, r u home?

Yeah. Thx 4 calling me back!

Sry. Chuck & I were… busy.

Oh gross B! So what's up then?

Need 2 talk. I'm coming over in 20.

Blair is relieved that she has Serena to talk to as the blonde has always been there for her (at least as long as Blair could remember). Blair walks back into the bedroom, where Chuck is busy shoving his legs into the pants of his yellow and blue work-out attire. "I see you're about to get your daily exercise of walking to the limo and back," she teases Chuck before rising on her toes to kiss his cheek.

"Very funny," Chuck replies, "Actually, Nathaniel and I are going for a run in bit. You, however, have yet to say what you are going to be doing."

"You? Run? Let's be real here; you haven't ran since 6th grade gym class," Blair retorts as she applies lip gloss nonchalantly. "Anyways, I told you I have some private affairs to tend to this morning."

"Oh, please. You haven't been away from me for longer than a few hours a day. What could you have possibly gotten yourself into that I – or Gossip Girl for that matter – wouldn't know about?" Chuck inquires as he bends down to put on running shoes that looked far too expensive to use for exercise.

Blair doesn't want to tell him about the déjà vu moment she had at the restaurant last night, because she doesn't want Chuck to know what she was doing in the first place. It isn't a big deal, she reasons, but until Serena advises her on what to do, Blair decides to keep quiet about her possible breakthrough. "Look, Chuck, I'm going to Serena's and that's all you need to know. I promise you, nothing is wrong," she reassures him.

"Fine," Chuck sighs, "Are you planning on eating breakfast before you leave?"

Blair rolls her eyes. "No, Chuck, I'm not. I really have to run, okay?"

Chuck gives her a chastising look. "You need to eat more, Blair."

"And you need to stop acting like my father," she replies, annoyed. Sure, she's been feeling dizzy a lot lately, but that doesn't mean a thing, and Blair is not going to allow Chuck to police her like a dictator instead of a boyfriend. "I'll check in with you in a few hours, okay? Love you!" she calls as she hurries out of the suite and over to Serena's place.


"Hey, B!" Serena's jovial voice greets Blair upon seeing her best friend walk into her bedroom.

Blair smiles warmly before enfolding the blond in a happy embrace. "Hey, S. It feels like forever since I've seen you."

Breaking from the hug, Serena gathers her perfectly tousled hair into a ponytail and moves to sit on her bed. "I know! I've been super busy working in Tripp's office. The workload is heavier than I thought it would be."

"I can imagine. How is working with him, anyways? Nate must be reeling with jealousy," Blair responds cheerfully, unconsciously tugging the fabric of her green dress away from her stomach.

"It's good, I guess. Tripp's a really nice guy, but he's more of a 'hands-on' boss if you know what I mean," Serena shrugs, a guilty expression shadowing her features.

Blair's jaw drops. "You didn't!"

Serena doesn't respond and Blair's natural instinct is to scold her friend about her indiscretions. Instead, Blair's voice takes a softer tone. "Well, we all make mistakes. I know I have…"

"What do you mean by that?" Serena asks, cocking her head to the side in curiosity.

Blair looks down as blood rushes to her cheeks. Oh, how embarrassing, she thinks to herself. "I... I don't really know how to put it, but I think I may have had a flashback or something," Blair begins.

Serena perks up, her eyes sparkling with intrigue. "What? That's incredible, Blair! I'm so excited! What were you doing?"

Blair shrugged weakly. "Don't get too worked up. I'm not even sure if what happened matters."

Maybe this isn't such a good idea, Blair contemplates. Why should she tell Serena about what happened in the bathroom when it may not signify anything other than the fact that Blair felt a little too full from dinner? That's all it was. I was so full that I became delirious, Blair convinces herself, ultimately deciding not to tell Serena about what happened unless she has that strange feeling again.

Abruptly, Blair stands up to leave and tens of tiny black dots threaten her vision. Stumbling back, Blair catches the wall and slides down to the floor. Serena immediately jumps off of her bed and falls to Blair's side. "B, what's going on?" the blond asks, concerned.

Blair closes her eyes and breathes deeply. A loud grumbling from her stomach indicates to Serena what Blair refuses to say and so Serena just wraps her arms around her friend and lets Blair's head rest on her shoulder.

"You've done this before," Blair says, more as a statement rather than a question.

Serena furrows her eyebrows. "What?"

Blair sighs audibly, lifting her eyebrows. "You've done this before. Am I right?"

Suddenly, Serena understands and she tilts Blair's chin up so that their eyes met. "How do you know that, B?"

Blair's stomach growled again, more angrily this time. "God, shut up," she instructs her body before answering, "I had déjà vu or something last night at dinner, Serena. I had it after I…" Blair trails off and lowers her eyes again.

"After you what, B? This is important," Serena urges, her bright blue eyes pleading for the truth. Serena constantly manages to put people at ease in uncomfortable moments. It's always been one of her natural abilities, and at this particular moment, Blair was both cursing and admiring that skill.

"I threw up, okay? Geez, it's not even a big deal!" Blair blurts out loudly. A weight is lifted off of her shoulders and while Blair feels better for admitting what happened, she is worried about the consequences of this admittance.

Serena gasped. "You purged, Blair? And you remembered something? You have got to tell me what happened!"

"I was so full from stuffing my face that I had to do something, Serena. I know it's gross and everything, but I just thought that throwing up would bring the quickest relief. Anyways, after I was done, I sort of freaked out and I started to count to calm myself down. All of a sudden, I felt like I've done that before, you know? I don't really know how to explain it," Blair stops to take a breath. "And when you hugged me just now, Serena, I would swear on my life that we've been in this position before, too," Blair looks up to gauge Serena's reaction. "You must think I'm insane. I probably am."

Serena remains in quiet contemplation for a few seconds before smiling weakly. "I guess now is as good a time to tell you that you used to have an eating disorder, B. You were bulimic. After every relapse, you'd call me and I'd be at your side as soon as I could get there," Serena reveals gently, "I know it sounds bad, Blair, but this is a good thing. This means that you're starting to remember your past."

Blair lets the new information sink in. "Why didn't you tell me all of this before, Serena?" Blair questions.

"I thought if I didn't tell you, then maybe you wouldn't remember that aspect of your life. Who would want to remember something like that anyways? It was a really scary part of your life, you know."

"Did Chuck know that I had a problem?" Blair asks.

"I honestly don't know. He never mentioned anything to me if he did. Your mother and I both knew, that much is certain. Have you told Chuck about what happened yesterday?"

"Of course not!" Blair snaps. "I can't have him knowing I did that. He'd never look at me the same! You'd better not tell him either, S. I mean it."

Serena bites her lip before replying hesitantly, "I really think he should know, B. He's your boyfriend."

Blair shakes her head vigorously. "No, Serena. Do you understand the word? What happened is between you and me, and that's it. If he mentions something about it, I'm going to know you told him and I'll never speak to you again!"

"Alright," Serena relents, crossing her arms over her chest in defeat. "but can we please eat? I'm starving, your stomach tells me you're starving, and there are two platters full of shrimp and fruit that I am dying to get my hands on!"

Standing up, Serena offers her hand to Blair, who smiles dimly. "Okay," the brunette says, relieved that Serena can now share her secret. "And I promise, S, if I remember something that isn't about… you know, then I will tell Chuck. I don't want to worry him, that's all."

Serena nods in agreement and helps Blair up off of the floor. Blair smiles surreptitiously as the two friends head towards the kitchen. Finally, the fractured pieces of her memory are starting to piece together.


A/N: I really liked writing this chapter; it's one of my favorites. I'm excited and also kind of sad that we're one more chapter closer to the end. I'm trying to decide whether to wrap it up next chapter or the one after, so we'll see how that turns out. Any preferences? Anyways, as always, thank all of you so much for your great reviews!!!