The Mess I made

Chapter 4: Friends Again

Dan knew his efforts were fruitless and that objects were not going to convince Serena to forgive him. He knew how he felt and it was up to her to believe him or not. He just wished there was some way to turn back the clock, but he'd have to just wait. Eventually, she'd come around. In the meantime, he decided to throw himself into a new project; he opened up an old file that he hadn't touch in well over a year, the original draft of inside before he had made certain changes. He didn't really know what he was going to do with it, but it was high time he told the story he initially intended on telling.

Serena knew she was being unreasonable, but she couldn't seem to help herself, her heart couldn't trust itself around Dan. He would just draw her back in and she couldn't shake the fear of another broken heart. She still couldn't help the hurt pride when he stopped making overtures. It had been a few weeks since she'd heard from him. The gifts stopped, so had the texts, emails and phone messages. She would listen to his voice on loop just so she could hear him speak. Maybe she was testing him and just like he had last year, he failed again. Serena knew that if she pushed him far enough, eventually he'd stop being there for her-just like every other man in her life.

A soft knock on the door stirred her from her thoughts. She opened it to find her mother on the other side.

"What are you doing here?"

Lily moved past her daughter and said, "We need to talk."

"About what?"

Lily placed her bag on her lap and said, "What you're doing to Daniel."

Serena crossed her arms across her chest, "What I'm doing? He's the one that broke my heart."

"And what do you think you're doing now? Is it a contest to see whose heart can break the most? The boy is a mess and so are you."

Serena didn't want to hear anything her mother had to say, she wasn't exactly good at relationships herself.

"That's not fair. I'm trying to move on."

Lily rolled her eyes and tried not to raise her voice at her daughter. "Move on? With David? He's like Dan with a little pharmaceutical help. I know what you are doing. I've done it myself. Stop punishing him and stop running dammit before you've talked yourself into multiple marriages and lost out on years of your life."

Serena didn't say anything. She simply grimaced because she knew her mother was right.

How did you go about undoing a series of mistakes that led you to where you stood? That was the question that Dan was contemplating. Giving Serena space was eating away at him, but more than anything he missed her friendship. So, he picked up a pizza and decided to invite himself over.

Serena opened the door and found Dan standing there with a pizza in one hand and a boyish grin on his face. "Apology pizza."

"Shouldn't I be the one saying sorry?" she asked as she ushered him inside. He placed the pizza on the counter and smiled at her, her eyes were swollen and he could tell she had been crying. He ran his thumb across her face and said, "Did I do this?"

Serena opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. His touch sent a shock through her system. Dan always had this kind of an effect on her. He patted the spot next to him and they ate in companionable silence.

"So are we just going to sit here and be all awkward with each other forever?" He asked.

"I don't want to be," Serena said as she looked up at him with a smile. She put away the remains of the pizza and found a movie for them to watch. They got comfortable on the couch and focused on the movie instead of talking about what was on both of their minds, but for now this would half to do.

Nate and Charlie stumbled into the apartment, laughing loudly and more than a little drunk. They stopped in their tracks when they saw Dan and Serena curled up on the couch. Nate smiled and led Charlie into the other room.

A few minutes later, Serena stirred. Dan's hand had managed to get tangled in her long hair, and she gently moved his hand, went into the other room, got him a blanket and covered him. She watched him sleeping and her breath caught. He was so beautiful when he slept. Serena wasn't sure what was going to happen between them, but friends had to be a good start.