I'm on my knees. I'm shedding tears. I'm begging you to save me.
. . .
I walked down the large pink halls of the academy, alone to be more specific. I shoved my cold pale hands into the front pockets of my uniform trousers, slouching forward. It hadn't been long since we had entertained all the ladies that had made appointments today, and as far as I'm concerned, I think the hosting day came to a good close. Once it was all over, I changed and darted out of that room. Hikaru- didn't really want to talk to him. He's probably going to make me talk about what's been flowing my brain. If I told him, he'd have a damn cow.
I, his own twin brother, can't tell him that part of my strong love for him is partially on the romantic side with that strong brother connection to it as well. Those feelings have been weighing on me for the past week. It wasn't up until recently I noticed when I woke up in bed with a- Ahem, um, yeah. Just ignore that, but still. Even though they are my own feelings and because they are my own I should be able to control them, but I'm still trying to figure out if I'm okay with all this. After all, this whole time I thought I was heterosexual, not "homo-hitachiin-sexual". Then with the hosting I just was acting, wasn't I? It was all acting. That's what it should've been, at least.
I'm probably the worst actor in the world now.
It's going to be these emotions that will be the death of me.
My walk became a faster walk which became a run, my thoughts were taunting those hidden wants and my acheing loneliness. My hands that were in my pockets left them, and moved with my arms' movements as I ran. Honestly, I didn't think I could run this fast. I bet wouldn't notice me pass, only a breeze would be a felt and even if I was noticed they wouldn't know it's me.
The large, and long, pink hallway seemed to get longer with each step I took. It felt somehow endless, it was really getting on my nerves. I needed to breathe. Breathe that fresh air, take in some healthier oxygen. I began to slow when my name was called, quite thankful that the voice actually wasn't Hikaru.
"Kaoru!"
Oh, wait. It was.
"Kaoru!!"
I turned around, a small smile somehow managed it's way to form on my lips after all that moping I've done. Well, mental acheing and regretting. Hikaru was red in the face as he stopped before me. He looked extrememly winded. His chest heaved in and out as he bent forward leaning on his knees. He's not relying on me to support him anymore, just little by little.
"You just dashed out of the changing room once you were done-" Huff. "-Are you sure nothing is wrong?-" Gasp. "-Did I do something wrong to you?" Huff.
"Let's not talk about me for a second, okay? What about you? You're acting like there's no air here, and you look like someone put you on a hamster wheel and made sure you never stopped going!" I crouched down to where I was eye level at his waist. I looked up at him, staring at his shining golden eyes, the small beads of sweat that rolled down his forehead, and a few locks of his hair sticking to his skin. Some may say it's kind of disgusting, but from the angle I'm looking him from. The view I'm looking at him from. The heart and mental state I'm looking at him from. He couldn't have be any short of beautiful.
"I'm fine," he stood, back straightened. I got back up and stared at my identical, his breathing still seemed slightly hitched but overall it seemed incontrol.
"Hikaru, are you su-"
"Kaoru, you need to tell me what's up. Is there something that you're scared to tell me? You can tell me anything you know that." His eyes sparkled with concern. Just not enough for me to break down and just say, "Hikaru, I love you. It's a lonely feeling when you're chasing after someone else, and it's not me. I'm falling into the firey darkness of hell, and for once you aren't saving me. You say you're always here for me. You say you'll always protect me from everything and anything. You say you'll be my guardian and my saviour. You'll save me," and with bitter tears cry then laugh coldly with my final words I'd smile devilishly saying, "You've always been quite the lier, Hikaru." And walk away? Yeah.
"Yeah, of course." Is my only reply as his concerned expression adapts into something more of a serious worry. He just sighs though, and we walk outside the large pink doors leaving the academy.
. . .
It's been about two a three days since my little run down. My brother, damn him for this, he's been so clingy lately. It was strange, it was hard to shake, I enjoyed the attention, but I can't stand the rambling. He's always talking about that... girl. She isn't evil, it's just lately I can't come to enjoy her company anymore. I can't enjoy anything when she's mentioned, sometimes I feel kind of sick at her name.
I rolled around in bed, the silk sheets crumpling ontop of me, covering my bare chest and back. Continuing to roll around, I finally stopped in a position with me laying diagnolly, flat on my stomach, my feet hanging off the side of the bed, and my face in a pillow. Hikaru had left earlier that morning to go do stuff with her, I didn't catch all of it. Didn't really want to hear about his date even though he says it's not a date. All I heard was cooking.
....
Since when did he like to cook? Let alone do any work.
"Nrgh mrf praf opmf hsht," I mumbled, my face still in the cushion. It was all jibberish, I was just tired. Irriated. Alone. Miserable. Things that follow up those adjectives. I kind of felt like a whining baby without a caretaker. A baby wrapped in misery as it's being dropped into the burning flames of hell.
If I could I throw my emotions in a locked safe and throw them into the burning flames of hell.
. . .
I'm reaching out for you as I fall, but you don't see me. Am I already too far gone?
Oh I don't think I mentioned in the last Author's Note that Kimiko Sakurazuka is a REAL character in Ouran. She's a fangirl, and is actually one of... Haruhi's? I think? Or was it Tamaki.... Hell, I don't even remember but she is a character. I hate making up characters so I just decided to use one that's already made. I'd show a picture, but I'm sick and lazy. So, just watch Ouran episodes a couple times and go through the credits, match the name with the voices and you should be good to go! XD Also, apologies for the late update. I hope this chapter will make up for all time lost. It's short, but still. :)
Please, review!