Author's Note

Yay! Chapter 13 is here! Hopefully you all enjoy it! Expect chapter 14 either tomorrow (Monday) or Tuesday. It depends on how much work my AP Chem teacher decides to throw at us.

Moving on, before I start ranting about high school science courses (Do NOT take AP Chemistry!), I would like to thank all the wonderful, amazing people that reviewed last chapter! You're awesome! *throws confetti*

Please review this chapter! It would make me want to write, which would in turn make me get chapter 14 out faster! :D

Alright, now that I'm done trying to motivate you into boosting my own self-esteem, here's chapter 13!

Read, enjoy, review!

Disclaimer: I don't own HP!

13. Safety

"So…" said Lily as we made our way across the school grounds and towards the herbology green houses, "Sirius declare his undying love for you yet?"

I blinked at her first in confusion, then in annoyance. "Uh, no, Lily. Sirius Black is not in love with me. That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard."

"It's not and you know it." she shot back, and I could tell she was dead serious. "The boy never takes his eyes off you, he's always worried about you, he's always trying to protect you, and according to James, he hasn't even looked at another girl in months."

"That doesn't mean anything." I said, trying to not let the disappointment be heard in my voice.

I obviously failed at that though, as Lily countered quickly with, "Oh come on, Addy. What more indication do you need? I suppose the more important question is do you like him?"

I felt my cheeks flush with color even before she'd finished her question. It was something I had pondered often enough in the past few weeks, and even though I knew the answer was a resounding "yes", the thought of putting that answer into words was terrifying. "I… uh…" I said nervously, glancing around to make sure no one was in ear shot and almost tripping over my own two feet as I tried to keep my voice level and my face passive. "It's difficult to… uh… Really it's more—"

"Bloody hell, Addy!" cried Lily, rather loudly and in a very James-like manner, "with that reaction, it's a wonder you can even speak to him without spontaneously combusting. Oh, you have got it bad!"

"Shh!" I said, putting a finger to my lips and looking over my shoulder to ensure privacy. "Lily! Don't just go shouting it to the heavens!"

She giggled, but thankfully spoke softer as she said, "Sorry! But gosh, you two are just so… ah! Perfect for each other. And I'd really prefer you get together sooner rather than later, because the sexual tension between you is driving me, Remus, and James insane. I swear, all those looks you give eachother, and the way he's always watching you eat or take notes or walk is—"

"Lily." I said seriously as the green house finally, thankfully, came into view. "Stop talking. Please, I'm begging you. Plus, I could say the same thing about you and James."

"You could not." said Lily indignantly, her eyes wide. "Me and James are—"

"Perfect for each other?" I finished, using her own words against her, my eyebrows raised. "Don't try to tell me you don't like him. I'll know you're lying."

She opened her mouth, cheeks flushed, but no words came out. Finally she heaved a big sigh and stared determinedly forward. "I will admit that lately my feelings have begun to change slightly towards him. But now… after all the proclamations of love and dedication and theatrics… Oh, I don't know, it just seems like it would never work! I would look like an idiot if I gave in after all this time."

"No, you would look like a girl who finally gave a great guy a chance. Lily, sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith."

She seemed to be seriously considering my advice before realizing something and then staring accusingly back at me. "I could tell you the same thing."

"It's different for me," I told her stubbornly. "Because despite how I might feel about him, there's no way Sirius returns those feelings. I'm his friend, nothing else."

"You're wrong." Lily told me in a matter-of-fact tone of voice as we finally reached the green house, placing one hand theatrically over her heart, "And deep down, you know it. Oh, the drama of unrequited love!"

"You didn't hear it from me," said James, catching up to me on the stairs as I made my way down to the Great Hall for lunch later that day, "but Sirius is at the Quidditch pitch, wallowing in despair. I suggest you go talk to him."

I raised my eyebrows at James, though inside it felt like a weight was being lifted off my shoulders. I could hardly focus on anything all day with the image of the burning letter and Sirius's anger etched in the back of my mind. I knew I needed to talk to him, and as soon as possible. "You didn't hear it from me," I replied to James, wanting to thank him for the info, "but I don't think Lily would object to you bringing her some lunch. She's working on a project in Slughorn's room."

James' eyes lit up like a toddler's on Christmas morning. "Her wish is my command." He said enthusiastically, hurrying towards the Great Hall while I made my way to the Quidditch pitch.

I found Sirius sitting in the middle of the big field, staring moodily at the sky and tearing up grass with his long fingers.

He didn't notice me until I was not more than 2 yards away, my figure sending a shadow across the ground in front of him.

"Hey," I said, sitting down on the grass beside him.

"Hi," he said, his brows furrowed. He looked horribly unhappy, and my heart went out to him. He also seemed to be waiting for me to say something, though I had no idea what. I just wanted him to tell me what was wrong, so that maybe I could help him.

After a long silence, he finally let out a frustrated growl and ran a hand across his face. "Be honest," he said, finally meeting my gaze. "how horrible of a friend am I?"

I looked at him blankly, totally clueless. "What?" I asked.

He didn't look at me, instead turning his gaze back to the ruined grass in front of him, his tone completely miserable. "How much of a git do you think I am now? Be brutal, I can take it."

I couldn't help it. A little laugh escaped me. Me? Hating Sirius? He was one of the greatest people I had ever met! "What the hell are you talking about?" I questioned, trying to keep the mirth out of my voice.

He scowled, looking at me like I was completely insane. "How can you possibly be laughing right now?" he asked, upset. "Your own mother sends you a letter telling you that it's only a matter of time before you're murdered by your own family, and you're giggling! Have you lost your bloody mind, Adeline?"

I was still confused, and still giggling slightly, but the look of sheer helplessness on Sirius's handsome face subdued me like a bucket of ice water. "Sirius…" I said, more gently. "is that what you're upset about?"

"Of course! And then I just stormed off, like the biggest, most selfish jerk in the entire world, not offering you even a bit of support, or even making sure you're okay! And I've just been sitting here all morning, hating myself for letting any of this happen in the first place."

I looked at him, incredulous, trying to make sense of these insane ideas. "First of all, I'm fine. None of that stuff that my mother told me came as any sort of shock. I knew that was going to happen, and I'm not bothered by it. Second, you cannot possibly blame yourself for any of this. Sirius, you've been amazing the past few weeks, I don't know what—"

"Addy, just stop." He said, still not meeting my gaze. "Stop trying to make me feel better. Of course I blame myself! It's all my fault! If I hadn't tried to be the big hero and stopped you from becoming a death eater, you would be safe right now and under the protection of your family, not getting death threats and afraid for your life!" he slapped his palm onto the ground, the muscles in his arm taut as his fingers dug into the soil.

"Sirius," I said, hardly believing my ears. "You rescuing me that night was the single greatest thing anyone has ever done for me. If not for you, I would be—"

"Safe." he said, looking up at me mournfully.

"—a murderer." I finished. "Or even more likely, dead."

He looked at me in confusion, so I went on.

"Right before you saved me, I was about to tell them to kill me instead. I would die before I became a death eater, Sirius. So don't keep going on about how I would be safe and protected by the Dark Lord and my family, because it's not true. I would never stoop down to that level just to save myself."

He looked at me, finally, searchingly, as if trying to tell whether I was really just making this all up for his benefit. "Is that true?" he asked after a while.

"Absolutely." I told him, nodding determinedly. "You really did save my life. And I haven't given up yet. There's still a chance I can avoid the dark side, if they wait long enough before coming after me, and I get much stronger during that time. I've decided to talk to Dumbledore tonight, and see what he thinks."

I looked back at Sirius, and was momentarily stunned by the look on his face as he stared straight at me. "Adeline," he said, watching me as if he was seeing the sun for the first time. "You're the most amazing girl I've ever met."

I blushed, looking down at the ground. I could feel my heart beating wildly in my chest. Had he really just said that? "I'm not." I said, embarrassed.

"No," he said, moving towards me a few inches, his eyes intent on mine. "I'm not just saying that. Really, you… you're brave, and kind, and confident, and so pretty, and, this is going to sound so weird, but I feel like we kind of, I don't know, get each other. I've never felt like that around anyone before…" he trailed off, looking at me where I sat, jaw-dropped, probably looking like an idiot. "How ridiculous do I sound right now?" he asked with a little self-conscious laugh, running a hand through his hair. "Sorry, I just—"

"No," I said, holding up a hand to stop him for apologizing. "No, I feel like that too: like you understand me better than anyone. It's odd, isn't it?" I asked, giggling a bit myself now.

"I think it's great." He said, smiling genuinely as he stood up and helped me up as well. "I think you're great." He then said, and I could tell he meant it.

I blushed more, if that was even possible, before looking away, embarrassed, towards the castle where you could just see students starting to filter out of the Great hall and towards their afternoon classes. "We're going to be late for Potions," I said, trying to steer the subject towards something safer, turning back to Sirius. With a start I noticed that his eyes were trained on my lips. Almost as if he wanted to kiss me.

After a moment he seemed to give himself a little mental shake, stepping back a foot or so and bringing his eyes up to meet mine. "Of course, let's go." He said, winking at me and looking more like his normal self. "Slughorn will never forgive me if I deliver his favorite student to class late."

We set back towards the castle, though my thoughts were not on potions but rather the amazing guy next to me. Lily was right, I did like him. A lot. And although at times it was easy to think I might have a chance with him, I didn't know the extent of his feelings, and it scared me.

What I did know was that Sirius Black was one of the best things that had ever happened to me, and that I would do anything to keep him in my life.