Author's Note

Hi readers! Here's chapter 27, I hope you all like it! Also: check out my profile for a link to a picture of Regulus (as I see him in my head). :)

Read, enjoy, review!

27. Okay

I pushed open the door to the 6th year girls' dormitory, to find Lily sitting in her bed, at 3 am, looking distraught. Her usually tame red hair was sticking up in all directions and she was surrounded by library books, all of them lying open in various states of disorder.

She glanced up immediately when I stepped into the room, and in the blink of an eye had practically tackled me, hugging me tightly, sobbing into my shoulder. "Addy!" she said, pulling away and wiping her eyes, looking at me almost wildly as if she was checking for injuries. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

"I'm alright," I said, feeling suddenly overwhelmed. "Lily, what-?"

"Sirius came in here around midnight, practically out of his mind." She said, pulling me over to my bed and sitting down, dragging me down beside her. "I asked him what was wrong, he was frantic, angry, scared, I don't know… He told me something was happening to you, that you'd be back in a few hours." She sighed, running a hand through her hair, and looking at me, her eyes wide. "Addy, I'm jumping to conclusions here, I know, but…" she trailed off, looking at me imploringly.

I looked at my best friend, who was staring at me with a mixture of concern and anxiety and a little bit of fear. And suddenly things seemed to become very real. It was like running into a brick wall. I'd suffered through an initiation with Lord Voldemort, surrounded by other sworn death eaters and my own family. Adrenaline and shock had carried me through tonight until this very moment. I felt tears prick my eyes as I looked back at Lily and gave a slow nod before pushing back my left sleeve and revealing the ugly mark now tattooed on my forearm, still red and painful and fresh. "I'm so sorry, Lily. They said they would kill Jeanette if I didn't." I whispered as she put a hand to her mouth, staring down at the dark mark.

There was a long silence before Lily spoke. "It doesn't change anything." she said, loudly, fiercely, pulling her eyes away from the mark to stare determinedly into mine. "You're still Addy, you're still my best friend. Right?"

I let out a breath that I didn't even know I'd been holding. "Right. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, Lily. I'm so sorry."

"I understand." she said, pulling my sleeve back down, hugging me tightly again. "And I won't tell anyone, I swear."

"Thank you." I whispered. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I'd desperately wanted to tell Lily everything since the second I had read Regulus's note, but I'd told myself that it was safer for everyone if I kept it secret. But Lily knew now, and I trusted her with my life.

My heart sank as I remembered Lily's story of earlier in the night. "Lils?" I said, as we both stood. "Where's Sirius?"

She shook her head slowly, her green eyes sad. "James pulled him out of here. Literally. I've never seen Sirius look so… out of control, honestly." She told me, her face grim. "That's how I knew things were bad."

I didn't have the strength to look for Sirius. Part of me was disappointed, and a little bit scared. I'd expected him to be here, ready to comfort me, ready to hold me and help me feel safe and protected. Instead I was here, wondering where he was.

He can't handle this, was the thought that ran through my head over and over again as I pulled off my cloak and climbed under the welcoming covers of my bed, my whole body aching after the hell I'd been through.

I didn't blame him, if that was the case. Regardless he wasn't here now, when I needed him. Now that the memories of the night were flooding into my mind, overwhelming me as I lay in the darkness of the dormitory, no idea where he was. I remembered Voldemort's thin, scathing voice and the masks of the people around me. I remembered the look on the Dark Lord's face as he'd used the cruciatus curse on me for ten long seconds, to give me just a hint of the pain I would suffer if I ever betrayed him or my family again. And I remembered the look on Regulus's face as he'd picked me up afterwards, steadying me on my feet before I vowed my allegiance to the Dark Lord and his sworn servants and was marked forever with a black tattoo.

Maybe I don't need Sirius, I thought suddenly. All those things were awful, and my stomach churned just to think of them. But I'd made it through, and I wasn't about to give up. I was still here, still alive, and now there was a mark on my arm but my heart still beat strong and true, I still believed in happiness and love and goodness. So maybe I didn't need Sirius.

But the darkness still surrounded me, and I felt cold and frightened as I lay there, alone, nothing but my thoughts and the snake inked into my arm for company.

No, I thought grimly, shutting my eyes tight and wishing for sleep that I was quite certain would evade me. I don't need Sirius. I just want him.

Three hours later I awoke, breathing hard, my hand clutching my chest. Voldemort's laughing face as he looked down at me, curled up on the floor in agony, was seared into my mind, an image that wouldn't go away.

Just at that moment I heard a door creak, and I lunged for my wand, grabbing it from my bedside table and pointing it in the direction of the noise.

Sirius stood in the doorway, his face illuminated by the beginnings of a sunrise that could be seen through one of the windows of our dormitory. He looked tired and defeated, but his eyes were bright in the almost-darkness, and the second he saw me he advanced towards the bed, sitting on the edge and pulling me into a tight hug in one fluid motion.

The second he touched me I felt a thousand times better. "Addy," he whispered into my hair. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," I said, pulling away and kissing him hard. "I'm okay." I leaned back enough to take off his jacket, dropping it on the floor beside my bed. "Sleep for a bit, yeah?" I asked, pulling him down with me.

He let me pull him down, lying beside me, pulling the covers over both of us and pulling me close. "I'm so sorry I wasn't here when you got back." he whispered. "It was horrid of me. I just… I freaked out." he admitted. "I'm so, so sorry."

"S'alright." I muttered, burrowing deeper into the covers, feeling his arm wrap around my waist and feeling utterly relaxed for the first time in more than 24 hours.

"Reg?" I asked, a few days later, walking into the Room of Requirement and hearing a muffled curse from somewhere deep within the labyrinth of ceiling-high piles of junk. "Everything okay?"

I'd seen him slip through the door earlier in the day, and after noticing his absence from the Great Hall during dinner, had figured that he was still inside the room, doing something. "Yeah," he said, "I'm just… bugger."

I turned the corner, sidestepped an empty owl cage, and found him, sleeves rolled up, green and silver Slytherin tie loosened considerably, wand in hand, staring angrily at the vanishing cabinet.

He turned when he caught sight of me, and I held out the plate of food I'd nicked for him from the kitchens after dinner. He smiled appreciatively—a small, tight smile, but a smile nonetheless—sitting down on an empty stool nearby and taking a bite of shepard's pie. "Something's wrong with it." He informed me between bites, waving in the general direction of the cabinet, fork in hand. "I've been trying to fix it all afternoon."

I nodded, sitting down in an old pink arm chair and rummaging through my bag. "Saw you slip in earlier. Maybe you…"—I mentally chastised myself for being so honest around Regulus, but said what was on my mind anyway-"Maybe you ought to take your time fixing it. As long as it's broken we wouldn't have to... you know." I finished lamely, not taking my eyes off of my bag.

To my surprise he gave a little bark of laughter. "I thought about that already." He told me, grinning. "But I think I'd like to stay on the Dark Lord's good side. If he even has one. Plus, I haven't the slightest idea what the problem is with this thing." He stood, setting his empty plate to the side and standing in front of the large cabinet, arms folded in front of him. "But don't you worry," he added, smirking at me and pulling his wand out and looking determinedly at the magical piece of furniture. "I'll figure it out."

"I'm sure you will," I told him, opening up the copy of 777 Vital Spells and Potions for the Modern Day Healer that I'd borrowed from the library the day before. "in the meantime, I think I'll take your advice."

He glanced over at me, noting the title of the book and nodding. "Alright then, let's get to work."

"Thanks for the dinner, Villori," Regulus said, as we made our way to the exit of the giant room, a few hours later.

"Thanks for the company, Black," I answered, elbowing him playfully.

He chuckled, looking at me curiously. "Actually, I was wondering about that. Why aren't you traipsing around with the almighty Sirius today, like usual?"

"I don't know," I said, picking at the sleeve of my school robes. "He…" I shrugged.

"Treats you differently?" Regulus supplied, his hand on the door knob as he fixed me with a searching look.

"A little bit." I admitted, thinking back on the past couple of days. Sirius had been… distant.

Regulus just nodded. And it struck me that he was perhaps the only person who truly understood my situation. "You're lucky," I said, scuffing my shoe on the floor. "You're in Slytherin. You've got friends, Snape and the others…"

"Severus doesn't talk to anybody." Regulus told me with a grim little chuckle. "Especially me. I'm the brother of Sirius Black after all. And the others…" he just shrugged. "I tell them about meetings, stuff like that. But they're obsessed with murder, purity, they believe in it heart and soul. They aren't my friends."

There was silence as we walked out of the room, prepared to part ways. "Am I your friend?" I asked teasingly in the empty hallway, trying to get him to laugh, feeling a little sorry for bringing the subject up in the first place

I stood outside the doorway, as Regulus started walking backwards down the corridor, towards the dungeons. He flashed me a cocky, winning smile, hands sliding into the front pockets of his jeans. "Well," he said, smirking. "Yeah."

Then he turned around, turned the corner, and I turned towards the direction of Gryffindor tower, smiling to myself.