Chapter Title: Belong
Chapter Description: While the fight between Allen and Lenalee continues, more and more of Allen's personality is taken over by the Noah within him. When the time comes for him to make a decision that could possibly take his love's life away, the results are surprising.
A/N: It's been a while. I've been busy. If you complain, I won't be pleased. I always seem to write Road in a sympathetic way, despite the fact that she's kind of a horrible person… Anyway, I find myself rooting for the Noah in the manga right now because the exorcists seem more evil than them at this point. That's probably why I write all of the Noah in a very sympathetic way, actually. XD Sorry for the short chapter, the inspiration for this fic has been low as of late. Anyways, this chapter's alternate name is 'The Chapter Where It Sucks To Be Lenalee Lee'.
Disclaimer: I do not own DGM, because if I did, the exorcists would seem a lot less evil.
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"It's love that leaves and breaks the seal of always thinking you would be real, happy and healthy, strong and calm."
-'Where Does the Good Go' by Tegan and Sara
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She kicked, he blocked it with his sword. When she tried to use one of her special attacks on him, he could sense it and counter it just in time. So many times he had fought along side her that he knew what each of her movements would be before even she could think of them. The strategies that she used during a fight were too predictable for her to get an edge.
But he couldn't fight her outright. As much as he wanted to push his sword into her chest because of the betrayal that he felt, he couldn't bring himself to do it. There were times during their fight when he had the chance, but the last remnants of his old self sung in the back of his head, telling him that he couldn't hurt her. If he were to hurt her, there would be no reason for him to continue living.
Lenalee, however, was trying her hardest. This was no longer the Allen that she knew, and however tenderly he had held her in that dream, this Allen caused nothing but destruction wherever he went. Those who were so destructive did not deserve to live; his death would be for the good of the world.
It was with that thought that she struck him as hard as she could with the intent to kill. Each moment that he was able to keep breathing was another moment that this imposter sullied the name of Allen Walker.
"Lenalee, stop this, you know that you can't win against me!" Again she tried to use her Innocence to attack, but with one shout of "Clown Belt!" Allen had her feet entangled within the webs of his Innocence. "I'm much stronger than you; you won't survive if we continue this!"
Ignoring his words, she struggled to free herself from his Innocence. "Let me go and let me fight! This is my job!" A few tears fell from her eyes again. They had been fighting for more time than Allen cared to think about, and throughout it all she cried, the tears flying in the wind as she jumped from place to place. More than anything he wanted to reach over to her, hold her close to his chest and wipe away her tears. And he would do just that, if she had let him. It didn't matter if she had betrayed him for the moment, it didn't matter that they were enemies, she just needed to say the word and… "I need to fight!" Finally she was able to escape the webs and she tried to launch a 'Waltz: Misty Wind' attack at Allen, but it was countered with a protective 'Cross Grave' from Allen, and it made no effect at all.
Panting and sweating, Lenalee took a few steps back to try to catch her breath. Whereas Allen was feeling nothing from their fight, Lenalee was getting so tired that she felt that it would be difficult to stand any longer. "Lenalee, run! Get away from here, I'll let you! I just want you to live!" Desperation creeping into his voice as he screamed the words, his 'Clown Belt' tied her up once again. "I just want you to survive this! Let me have your Innocence and run!"
"So this was your plan, lad." The telltale smell of smoke filled Allen's nostrils, and he didn't even need to turn his head to know that Tyki was standing behind him. "This is why you planned this entire thing; I had heard about the girl's trial, but I thought that it must have just been a coincidence. The fact that you would destroy the entire Order just to save this one person is…" There was a hand on top of Allen's head now. "Quite sweet. I never knew that you were some kind of hopeless romantic type."
With a struggling Lenalee to deal with and an irksome Noah to juggle with as well, Allen was having difficulties focusing on what needed to be done. "Don't interfere, Tyki. I'll kill you."
The Noah laughed. "Don't worry, I have no intention of doing so." Putting the cigarette in his mouth, he took a deep drag before speaking again. "I just came to warn you that everyone else is done for the day; with the one that we assume you killed, we got three exorcists down. Now we're bored, so we want to leave." Chuckling, he tapped his cigarette on a nearby overturned chair. "We're so fickle, aren't we?"
It was time to make a decision; Allen knew that. He would need to injure and possibly kill Lenalee here and take her Innocence by force, or let her wound him enough that it looks like he tried…
Knowing that no matter what he did, there would be a punishment to pay, he shut his eyes as he yelled. "Death ball!"
As the swirling ball of energy plummeted towards her, Lenalee's eyes opened wide. Unable to see what kind of destruction he would bring forth to Lenalee, Allen turned around, a tear dripping down his own face now. "Goodbye." He whispered.
Tyki put an arm around Allen's shoulders. "There's a good lad. Don't worry about collecting the Innocence, I'll-" Suddenly there was a sharp pain at the back of Allen's head. Before he blacked out, the last thing that he saw was Lenalee running away as fast as she could with the aid of her Dark Boots.
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"Great job, my wonderful Noah! Another successful mission against the despicable exorcists!" Once again the Clan of Noah were situated around the long dinner table that they tended to gather at for the celebrations of their numerous victories. "A body count of over two hundred scientists and workers with three exorcist casualties, Miranda Lotto, Noise Marie and Chaoji Han. Despite the fact that none of them contained the Heart Innocence that we desire, it is worth raising a glass to our fine achievements in destroying the European Branch of the Order!"
Around the table the Noah cheered and clinked glasses, except for three notable exceptions. Allen Walker, Tyki Mikk and Road Kamelot were all missing from the celebration.
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"I'm worried." Road whispered to Tyki as they both stared at the sleeping Noah. The last time it had taken one of them this long to recover was when Tyki had been hit by Allen's sword of exorcism, but even by now he had been able to open his eyes and speak. Allen remained comatose. "It shouldn't be taking this long!"
Next to Road was Tyki, who, though he refused to show it outwardly, was also worried about the boy, so much so that he wasn't even smoking. "Maybe he doesn't want to wake up." This was met with a hard smack on the head from Road.
"Of course he wants to wake up!" There was just a slight hint of desperation in Road's voice that made Tyki smile ever so slightly. "He needs to wake up! There are things that he needs to accomplish before…"
"Before what, Road?" Cold and hard, the words sounded like they came from a defeated man. "What is there left for me to do in this world?" Eyes open and staring at the ceiling, Walker seemed to finally be awake.
Smiling even more broadly, despite Allen's pessimistic tone of voice, Tyki put a hand on Road's head. "See, he's awake. There's no need to worry now." Irritated, Road pushed Tyki's hand away and inspected Allen. Even though there was nothing different about his outward appearance, the way that he stared at the ceiling as if there was nothing to live for any longer made Allen seem just a bit… different.
Despite being so beaten up and tired, Allen sat up, clutching his head in his hands. "How long was I out for?" Demanding and fierce, it wasn't even like it was Allen who was speaking anymore.
"Three days." Taking a packet of cigarettes out of his pocket, he carefully chose one and put it in his mouth. "You've made a record for the longest time it's taken a Noah to recover from an injury. Pathetic, lad." Digging through his pockets, he found his matchbox. Fumbling with trying to keep the cigarette in his mouth, light the match and talk at once, he managed to get the match lit. "You're almost a…" Slowly he brought the match up to the cigarette. "Disgrace to the Clan of Noah." Moments before the cigarette was aflame it was across the room, having been slapped away by Allen.
"That habit is disgusting." The boy spat. Tyki stared for a moment, half amused and half frightened at this kid's nerve. "Don't you have things to do that are more important than sitting around and smoking? Or are you just so useless that doing that is all that you're capable of."
Laughing, Tyki put a hand on Allen's shoulder. "You're so energetic; I'm glad to see that you're alright."
Next to him, a tear fell from Road's eye, that she quickly wiped away. Even though she was sadistic and cruel, it seemed that for some people, she did have a soul. "Allen!" Unable to contain herself any longer she jumped on top of the other Noah and rubbed her head against his cheek.
Surprised, Allen's façade of evil fell down; staring at Road, Tyki noted that the kid finally looked like himself once again. "We do care, you know. Even if you don't."
Inside of Allen's mind, something finally snapped into place. For the longest time he had tried to deny it, but now there was no need to. Something that had always seemed wrong was really right. A few tears flowed from his eyes at the realization that he was finally having, far too late. "I do."
Staring up at Allen, Road smiled. "What was that, Allen?" Joy spread through her body at the fact that Allen finally understood who he really was.
"I do care about… you. All of us. The Noah. I do care about… my family."
It was true; the Noah were his family. Everything before this didn't matter. The Order had been his temporary home; a foster care system for Allen before he had found where he truly belonged. The past was gone, and he now accepted that. Even the friends that he had cared so much about were irrelevant now. The only ones who would ever truly care were those who were in the Clan of Noah with him.
Happy, Road held Allen even closer to her. Things were going to work out and be okay. Finally, he knew exactly who would always care for him. "I'm glad that you finally understand, Allen."
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It was dark and frightening. Unfamiliar with her surroundings, Lenalee was unable to decide which path to take and had no idea where any of them would lead her. Desperate, she needed to find another base of the Order. There were so many questions running around in her brain, so many scenarios that had been unanswered.
Weighing most heavily on her mind was the question of whether or not her brother had survived the battle with the Noah.
Almost too much for her mind to bear, she tried to think of happier thoughts and times, but her resolve faltered even more when she remembered that the times that she had felt most happy had been the times that Allen had been by her side.
For what seemed like hours she stumbled through the dense forest that surrounded the new location of the Order. They had thought that it would be a good idea to surround themselves with difficult nature to get through, both for camouflage and for protection, but as Lenalee cut on branches and bruised on rocks, she cursed the fools who had decided to put the Order there.
From the darkness a pale hand shot out and grabbed Lenalee. Before she was even able to scream, it was over her mouth and a voice was telling her to be quiet. Almost immediately all of the worry flew away from Lenalee. That voice was familiar to her, and in a good way. "Lenalee, how long have you been out here? We've been searching for hours." Kanda said angrily as he turned her around and removed his hand. "We thought you were dead."
Relieved and tired, Lenalee began to cry. "Thank goodness!" She cried as she wrapped her arms around Kanda's stiff body. Sobbing into his chest, she clenched his clothes tight in her hands, desperate to feel something familiar and real.
Hesitantly, Kanda patted her back a few times, not quite the one to go to for kind words and relief. "Come on, Lenalee, I'll take you to the others." Grabbing his hand and letting her guide him as if she were a child, Lenalee went forward to go to the only people that she had ever called a family and had ever known as a home.
Through the woods the two of them walked until they reached a campsite with a fire going. Sitting around was a group of people so familiar and kind that she could cry. Krory, Timothy, Link, Generals Tiedoll and Sokalo… along with many others. "Most of the scientists were sent home, but a few decided to stay behind and come with us to a different Branch. It'll be a long journey, but we have to make it."
It occurred to Lenalee that so many of the people who she had known were gone, having either escaped and returned home or even worse, dead. There were less than fifty of the hundreds who had once worked in the Order around the fire or milling about the area. Wounded people were being treated as best as they could with the medical equipment that they had; since there was a chance that there were still akuma or, even worse, Noahs, still in the Order, it would have been dangerous to go back to get better equipment, so the people in pain had to survive until they could go back.
Her heart skipping a beat, Lenalee noticed someone that wasn't near the campfire or milling about the area. "Kanda… Where… Where is my brother?"
"I'm right here, Lenalee." For the first time that day, joy filled Lenalee as she saw her brother's smile turn around from bandaging a member of the science department member. Before Komui was even able to stand up, Lenalee ran over to him and fell into his arms, tears flowing down her cheeks. "It's all going to be alright."
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When Lenalee fell into sleep, she was dropped, once again, into a dream that had haunted her for years. Loneliness swept over her as she saw the ruins of the Order that had once seemed like a far off future, but now were a frightening present.
"Beautiful, aren't they?" A voice asked from behind her. A chill ran up her spine. "The blood and destruction… They're beautiful paired with the people who stand in our, the truth's, way."
"How could you say that?" Feeling as if she wanted to run, she spoke with a slight tremor to her voice. "This place was once your home, if you recall."
Laughing, footsteps brought the voice closer to her. "That place was never really my home. My home is with my family, something that the Order never was." That chilling voice was now right near her. "It was only a stepping stone for where I am now, a place with people who I love and care about and feel the same way for me in return."
"I loved you, that wasn't enough?" Wishing to wake up, Lenalee crossed her arms in front of her chest, praying that the nightmare would be over soon.
There was a step backwards, and the voice became quiet and sad. "It was… but that feeling doesn't remain on either side now, does it?" A small snort came from him, along with the cynical words of someone who had been through a great ordeal like him. "Feelings don't matter unless they're in the present. I can't care about what happened in the past if I'm going to keep moving forward like I need to."
"What if…" Trailing off, Lenalee surveyed the destruction around her, wishing that things were different. "Those feelings hadn't changed? Would that change anything, Allen? Do you really believe that your fate is so sealed?"
No response came. Worried, Lenalee turned around to see nothing standing behind her. Seeing that great nothingness that told her that there was no hope, made a tear fall from her eye. Turning back around to face the destruction of the place that she loved, she saw a figure sitting on top of it.
It was him, it was Allen, laughing and smiling, beaconing her to come up and join him. Knowing that she would live a life of regret if she did not, her legs carried her up to where he was. Even if it was one sided and silly, even if she could never be with him in the real world and even if the world thought it was disgusting and unwarranted, in her dreams, Lenalee knew that she would do anything for that white head of hair and charming smile.
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End of Chapter Eight
