Oh. My. God everyone. I'm going to America next Saturday!!!!!!!!!! I'm so excited it's not funny. I'm acting soo much like Alice right now- it's creepy, cause I'm a Bella girl.. Hehe. Anyway, hope you like this..

49. I told you I'd slap you

Emmett's POV

"EAT PAINT JAZZ!" I yelled, and shot another messy bullet his way. It hit him square in the eye, and he gasped. I let out a booming laugh, and ducked behind a huge Pine tree.

I felt a tap on my shoulder, and spun around. I nearly screamed, but held it in. I didn't want to give away my position.

"Too late,"

I spun back around, only to get a balloon of paint into my torso. I howled, but laughed.

Crap! Damn mind reader!

I heard an eerie cackle, and Edward grinned. I looked at him confused.

Just like a action movie, 4 figures emerged out of the darkness closest to the house. I smiled, but soon my frown was upside down.

The girls were holding paintball guns.

They were wearing black ninja like outfits. Just like the ones they wore while trashing Amy's room.

I gasped in fake horror; My hand flying up to my mouth.

"GUYS! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! SOME GIRLS HAVE PAINTBALL GUNS! THEY'LL PROBABLY SHOOT NAIL POLISH AT US!" I yelled.

The girls glared, before I got 50 paintballs all over my body. Jasper and Edward were laughing like idiots on the other side of the clearing. I groaned.

"Great, I look like a rainbow threw up on me." I wailed. "Rosssssssssssssssie?! How could you shoot your fiance'?"

"It's your fault for getting the police over here!" She laughed. I stopped short.

"T-the police were h-here?" I said.

"Yeah.. they were! Ha ha!" Bella said between laughs.

"Shiiiiit," I murmured under my breath.

"Emmett! language!" Esme scolded.

"Sorry, Mom."

She nodded.

"So what did the cops say?" Jasper asked.

"They said to keep the noise down. We all sort of dazzled them a bit." Rosalie laughed.

"That's my girls." I boomed. "Now how about peace and love?"

I held up in fingers as to grant peace, and smiled.

"Aw." Rose said, and smiled at me.

"Don't be fooled Rosalie. You've been single for too long." Alice shrilled, them smiled impishly. I looked at her, with my eye brows raised.

"Back to the game!" I yelled, and dived to the ground. I did a summer salt along the mossy ground, shooting paint balls all the while.

The girls gasped, and I heard the popping noise of the paint bullets leaving the.

This reminded me of a war scene. Jasper and Edward were on the ground, holding some part of their body in pain. I smiled.

The girls were still at large, firing bullets at the wounded on the ground. Well not literally of course.

"Whoa, whoa! They're wounded girls!" I said, holding my hands out in protest.

"Pfft. They're not wounded til we say so."

"Then can you please say it?"

"No."

"Please."

"No."

"..Oooooooooooh.." I moaned. "Well spare me! I'm on a role."

Wrong move.

I ran circles around them, moving in a surreal blur. They looked around confused, shooting; And missing.

I fired at them so fast they couldn't follow.

The tress and bushes around were covered in different colours of paint. It was quite pretty actually.

"Okay! Okay!" I slowed down, and held out my hand. "Truce?"

The girls looked at each other, and nodded. "Truce."

"EMMETT! NOOOOO!" Edward howled from the ground. It came out in slow motion for some reason, just like some movies.

Esme grabbed my hand, and pulled me down to the ground. The girls fired at me; I felt the mild stings all over me.

My arms, my legs, my torso, my abdomen; All throbbed.

"We told you!" Jasper laughed, and joined the circle of on lookers who had gathered to watch my pain. Aka. My family.

"What's the time?" Bella asked.

"Um.. 5:05. Wow! We've been balling for like, 3 hours." Jasper said.

We all looked at him. "Did you say like? And balling?"

He looked around, worried. "No.."

"Yes, you did. Don't deny it." I said, and heaved my self off the ground.

"Okay, maybe I did."

"You were easy to crack. You could have at least denied it." I said, and smiled.

"You told me not too!"

"Well you gave in to me. You must call me your highness from now on, Jas – perve." I grinned.

"Screw that."

I scoffed. "Fine. I'll just take all the good animals when we hunt tomorrow- I mean, today."

Jasper groaned. "Nooooooo!"

"Har, har."

"That's enough you too. We're not going to hunt. We have planning to do." Alice said. "Have fun."

The whole family burst out laughing, when they saw the state of me.

"Hey Em?" Edward said, between laughs.

"Can I PLEASE call you Rainbow, or sunshine?"

I glared at him. "Pfft. No."

"Like that'll stop me!"

"I'm going to go get changed." I said, and stomped toward's the house. I walked away from the loud guffaws.

This paint ball fight had gone horribly awry.

Everyone had cleaned themselves up before we went hunting, thankfully. I would hate to be out in the forest when my family was covered in paint and calling me 'Rainbow'.

Jasper, Edward and I sprinted through the forest, reaching our favourite clearing in minutes.

I slowed to a human run, and sniffed the air, just like normal. Edward and Jasper did the same.

I smelt the comforting smell of apple and cinnamon, and grinned. I got into my crouch, and stalked forward. I spotted a mountain lion in the distance, and ran for it.

I leapt high in the air, landed on the lion with a quiet thud. I sunk my teeth into it's furry flesh, letting my instincts take over. I wasn't sure where my brothers were, but I didn't care.

I sucked the animal dry, and pushed it aside. The burn in my throat was still intense. I needed more blood.

I began stalking again, finding a pack of deer. Edward was already feeding on one, and had 2 drained at his side.

These past few months of being a vamp had gone by so fast. I had trouble keeping track. One minute I was writhing in pain, next minute leaping through the air a deer. It was odd.

I finished my 2nd deer, and actually felt full. I pushed it off of me, and sighed. I had gotten very good at keeping my clothes clean. Edward had given me some Hunting 101 lessons. I laughed at the memory.

"You done, Em?" Jasper said, coming at sitting next to me.

I patted my stomach. ".. Yeah.."

"That was good." Edward said, wiping his mouth as he pretended to fall onto the soft, but wiry grass. I grunted.

"Yeah, it was. What would I do without Mountain Lions?" I said, a smile creeping across my mouth.

"I would die."

"You're already dead."

Edward looked at me, and rolled his eyes. "So, what do you want to do?"

"I really don't want to endure the girls wedding planning." I sighed.

"Either do we."

"Then, we could.. Um.."

"Hunt some more?" Jasper suggested.

"Definatley not." Edward and I said simultaneously.

The light bulb went off in my head, and I could have sworn I heard it.

Prank calling.

"I don't know.." Edward said, with a worried look. Jasper looked around confused.

" C'mon! It'll be great!" I said.

"Um, Emmett, I—" Jasper began.

"No, Jasper. You not going to sink us again."

"But this exactly what happened last time—"

"Jasper, shut up."

"But you nearly let me fin—"

"Jasper! What did I tell you."

Edward was chuckling to himself quietly. Jasper let out a exasperated sigh.

"You know what," Jasper sighed. "I'm not even gonna both—"

"Jasper, stopped talking."

"EMMETT! THAT'S IT! FOR THE LAST GOD DAMN TIME, I DON'T KNOW YOUR IDEA, AND I'M NOT A MIND READER!"

I laughed.

"Oh! Why didn't you say so!" I laughed. "How about we do prank calling?"

Jasper groaned. "I swear to god.."

"Well, what do ya think?" I asked.

"I'm in." Jasper said, grinning. He was obviously feeling my excitement. We both turned to Edward.

"I don't know.." Edward said, looking down. He pinched the bridge of his nose. "What if the person figures it out?"

"But they won't! That's the beauty of it!" I boomed.

"I guess we could try.."

"WHOOT!"

I pulled out my little silver phone I've had since I was 8, and switched on the caller disguise. I noticed I had a message, and began to read it.

Hey Baby,

Have fun hunting, okay? And don't do anything stupid.. Please. I f you do you'll get a good slap on the head, okay? Good. Another thing, when do we want the wedding? Soon, or later? Relatively soon :p

Love you so much,

Rosie x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

I laughed at her kisses, and hit reply.

Heyyyyy Rose,

We'll will have fun, thankyou. But can't guarantee about the 'no stupid' stuff. You know me all too well. And I doubt you'll hit me. You love me too much. And let's get married soon. I can't wait.

Love you so much as well,

Emmy x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

I smiled and hit send. I turned to the guys. "You ready?"

Edward and Jaz came in close. "Who first?"

"Um.. Alice, or Bella? Alice first." I declared. I dialled the well known number, and switched on the loud speaker.

"Hello?

I put on a fake voice. "Hello madam. How are you today?"

"Ugh.. I'm good. Can I help you?"

"Um, yes. Is your refrigerator running?" Edward and Jasper burst out laughing, and cupped their hands over their mouths.

"Actually, it's not. You should know that Emmett, geez."

I stopped short. Crap. She's psychic! Forgot!

"This i-isn't Emmett. This is.. Alexander Cognito."

C'mon Simpsons, don't fail me now.

"Alright Alexander, well I'll see you idiots at home, alright?"

The line went dead. We all laughed our heads off; Like really rolling on the floor laughing. All I saw was the grey sky.

"Okay, okay," I said, once we'd died down a bit. "Let's call Dad."

I dialled his familiar number, and held it steady. Now it was Jasper's turn.

"Dr. Carlisle Cullen speaking."

"Hello? Doctor?"

"Yes. Who might this be?"

"I-I'm Amanda hug – and –kiss. I'm scared. I need help."

We all laughed at Jasper's high pitched.

"What might be the problem?"

"Oh, pregnancy hotline, thank god you're here."

"What? This isn't by any means—"

"What do you mean! My husband and I accidentally forgot to use—"

"Hang on, stop. This isn't the pregnancy hotline. Goodbye, Amanda."

Jasper pretended to make crying noises, and wailed loudly. "Nooooo! Please! I didn't even know where babies came from—"

The line went dead, and we all cracked up laughing. I nearly died I swear. My stomach hurt.

I handed the phone to Edward, who looked nervous and was still chuckling.

"Who next?" I asked.

Jasper tone turned dark. "Rosalie."

"Oh, guys I wouldn't—"

"C'mon Emmett!" Jasper said. "Are you scared?"

"N-no."

Jasper scoffed, and dialled the number. "Go Edward,"

"I have the best idea."

"Hello?"

"HELLO ROSALIE THIS IS LAUREN."

I burst out laughing at Edward perfect impression of Lauren's voice, but tried to silence myself.

"Um, why are you calling me?"

"BECAUSE I HAVE A CONFESSION.. I LOVE YOU."

"W-what.. I.. w-we.."

"WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? YOU DON'T LOVE ME?"

"Um, yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying, you bitch!"

"GASP! HOW DARE YOU! I POUR MY HEART OUT, AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME? YOU.. YOU.. BIMBO!"

Edward forced out the words, then sighed.

"WELL I'M SORRY TO DISAPPOINT YOU THEN!"

"JEEZ WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? PMS MUCH?"

"YOU'RE THE ONE FREAKING SCREAMING!"

"NO YOU ARE!"

"NO YOU ARE!"

"NUH UH!"

"FINE, I'LL.. I'LL.." Edward looked up and me, and shrugged. "I'LL EAT EMMETT!"

Silence. "WHAT?"

"I SAID I'LL EAT HIM!"

Edward hanged up the phone, and we let our laughs explode. I held my stomach, as if holding my self together. "My turn!"

I grabbed the phone, and dialled.. Bella.

"Bella Cullen speaking."

"Hellllllllo beautiful."

"Um.. Hi. Do I know you?"

I darkened my voice, to a freaky whisper. "You could say that."

"What do you mean?"

"I know where you live."

"Right.. Um is this a sick joke?"

"Of course not . What's you favourite horror movie?"

"I hate horror movies."

"Well that's bad luck for you then. I'll see you later.." I added the last line I'd seen on the 'The strangers', and freaky horror movie that scared the Bajeebas outta me.

I hung up the phone, to someone hyperventilating. I laughed.

"How about.. Ness? Edward, I want you to do it. Jaz, you can do Jake." I grinned.

"My daughter, seriously?" Edward gawked.

"Yep,"

He groaned, and snatched the phone of me. He dialled her number.

"Good afternoon."

"Um.. Hello. Who's this?"

"Ugh.. I'm Nate Archibald?"

I knew he had used that name from Gossip girl, the show Bella and Alice loved so much.

"What the hell? Hi Nate, I'm Renesmee..?"

"Hello Nessie. That's a beautiful name. Anyway, straight to the point. You owe me $50, 000, 000."

""How'd you know people call me Nessie?"

"I know some people, who know some people. No big."

I just figured out just then that he was playing a Mafia boss.

"OH!" I yelped.

"Oh my god, no way. Dad! Em! What the hell?"

We all froze, then let out our laughs.

"Dad, how could you go along with this?! Emmett, you idiot! I'm ashamed to call you a brother!" She laughed.

"You know you love me, Ness. See ya later."

"Goodbye. Bye, Dad, see ya Em."

She hung up the phone, and we turned to each other. "We'd better get going."

We all nodded, and flew into the forest.

When we got home, we found things unusually quiet. We all crept around the house, confused.

"Jasper, Edward, what's happening?" I whispered.

"Um.. I sense fear, and anxiety. And sort of angry too, on some levels." He said.

I pushed open Bella and Edward's room, only to hear an earpiercing scream. Esme, Bella and Rosalie were huddled together at the back of the room, with fear written all over their faces. Jaz, Eddie and I cracked up laughing.

"Is this cause of the prank call?" I cackled.

All their faces quickly turned to pure fury.

"That was a PRANK!" Bella spat threw her teeth.

I felt someone strong slap the back of my head, and I spun around. Rose was standing there ,arms folded.

"Told you I would slap you."

I rubbed the back of my head. "Wow."

Within seconds, somehow, I was pushed onto the ground, and Esme, Bella, Rosalie, Carlisle crowded around me, with angry expressions.

I shrugged nervously. "Truce?"

Well.. What'd ya think? good, bad, stupid? Let me know pllllz. I'm sorta hyper cause of my America trip!!!!!!!! woo!!!!!