Hey guys. So this chapter is short, but i did what i could with this episode. It was too depressing to watch because after this Blair hits a downwards spiral, and i'm not very motivated about the upcoming episodes to say the least. But I will struggle through it and get it done. Anyway, hope this chapter wasn't too bad. Happy Readings!! xoxo

Gone With the Will

She stared at the beautiful arrangement of flowers in her hand and had to force herself to say the words that had been swimming in her head since the fiasco earlier that morning. "It's too late, Chuck. I've stood by you through all of this, but I can't watch you self destruct any longer."

"Jack set me up," Chuck responded evenly as he held open the elevator doors that threatened to close, causing Blair to stay rooted to the spot in which she stood. He excused himself on account of Jack, as if the only motivation to her words were his actions at this morning's brunch.

"There's no one to blame but yourself. I believed in you. Your father believed in you. You... are the only who didn't," she said, willing herself not to allow the tears to fall, failing miserably at keeping the knot in her throat from forming and threatening to choke her. She stared at him, watched as his eyes lowered in embarrassment, disappointment of himself. She had to look away.

"All I wanted to do was... just be there," she struggled to find the words to say. "But today when you called me your wife, you made it sound like the ugliest word in the world." Her heart began to break all over again as she remembered and relieved the experience, revisiting the moment when it all came crashing down on her, when she felt as though she was meaningless to him.

"Blair... please..." Chuck breathed out gently as he tried to reach out to her only to have her pull away.

She exhaled desperately as she pulled back. "I'm sorry...," she paused, knowing that when she said the next words, it would really be over, "but I'm done," she breathed in and pulled the tears back with the little strength left in her. She looked away from him, knowing that if she saw the look in his eyes she would forgive him. She couldn't allow that to happen. She needed to save herself.

She saw him walk into the elevator and the doors begin to shut, and with one final effort, she raised the bouquet and flung it into the elevator floor. She couldn't keep them. She couldn't hold on to any part of him.

The doors shut firmly and she turned to make her way up the stairs. Her vision blurred, her throat threatened to close on her as she swallowed the desperate cries that heaved from her chest. Holding on to the wall she walked uneasily to the stairs and found herself falling at the foot of the stairs as her body gave in to the overwhelming agony.

Grasping at her chest, she let the tears fall. Tears for Chuck, tears for herself, tears for the love she felt and the love that she could have lived by his side. She cried because she knew he needed her still, knew that she was turning her back on the man she loved. If Serena were here, she'd judge and accuse her of abandoning him, of leaving him alone and helpless. But as she told her then, she wasn't abandoning Chuck, she was only saving herself. Saving herself from falling into the same darkness Chuck had succumbed to. And she couldn't allow that. She wouldn't. She was all she had left, and clearly Chuck didn't want her.

The gasps escaped her as she choked on the little breath entering her lungs, her tears running down her cheeks, marring her once impeccably set makeup. She curled forward, hugging herself, holding on to herself. She allowed herself to cry, to choke, to hiccup, to swallow air desperately as she wailed in anguish. She allowed herself a momentary fall from grace, allowed herself to crawl onto the stair and drag herself up with the help of the railing.

She walked uneasily up the first few steps, wiping away at her tears and pushing her hair out of her eyes and setting it back into some semblance of order.

She reached the top step and let out a breath, the tears already a distant memory, her cheeks dry, her breathing even, her throat clear and mask firmly in place.

She was Blair Waldorf and sure Chuck Bass had cracked her, but it would take a lot more to break her...