So this is my ill-fated attempt to write a Hidden Moment for this episode. One of the worst episodes in the entire lifetime of Gossip Girl. I hated Elle, hated Chuck and the ease with which he flung himself into this tryst with a woman who couldn't even kiss the ground on which Blair walks on. And then the whole Ms. Carr thing with Dan... just ugh! So suffice it to say this comes nowhere close to my best work... I don't like this chapter and I'm sure you guys won't either. Consider this filler so that i can move on to the rest of the Season 2 episodes and try to wrap this up. Anyway, so this is my way of trying to justify Chuck's behavior. Hope it works. xoxo!

Carnal Knowledge

Nice to see you're moving on...

Those were the last words with which Nathaniel had hung up the phone call and Chuck couldn't help but fight back the uncomfortable inkling that crept inside his chest at the thought.

He was moving on. Or at least that's what he told himself. What he told everybody. He didn't understand exactly why it was that he'd just basically implied to Nathaniel that he and Elle had engaged in some Kama Sutra-esque type of sexual activity. It wasn't as if he needed to show off his sexual prowess to anyone, especially not Nate. But it still felt important for him to put up a facade and pretend to be over the months of drought that had ensued following the disaster of what was Chuck&Blair. Although he'd pretty much ruined the relationship before anyone was able to say their names in conjunction like that. As if they belonged together.

Which they honestly did. No matter how much Blair denied it.

Stupid. Get those ridiculous thoughts out of your mind, Bass. You and Blair don't belong together. Haven't all these months of misery shown you exactly that?

He shifted uncomfortably and stared down at his phone. He wondered what she was up to tonight? Where she was? Who she was with? An annoying feeling overtook his stomach at the thought that she might be in the company of another man. In the bedroom of another man...

Sighing at the miserable directions of his thoughts, he flipped open his phone and scrolled down the list of recent numbers. He should call Elle, she should have been here by now.

His stomach knotted again and he almost retched as the flashes of what had occurred last night began to replay in his mind. He remembered seeing her, catching sight of her flowing brown hair, almost as brown and as delicate as Blair's. Her womanly curves, more pronounced than Blair's yet just not right beneath his touch. Her soft lips, not as soft or as sweet as Blair's. Her smell not as sweet. Her being not as whole as his Blair.

Dammit Bass. Get a hold of yourself.

Last night, he'd allowed himself a moment of weakness. A moment in which he'd lost himself to the sensation of almost, of not quite right but good enough. Last night had been about forgetting, about trying to move on like Nate thought he had. But the sad truth about that was that he hadn't moved on. He'd tried. His body didn't disappoint him. It was easy enough to pretend that it was Blair he'd kissed, Blair he'd touched, Blair he'd licked and bit and grasped. His body, blinded by the alcohol, could hardly tell the difference. But his heart had known. In his heart he'd felt the distance, the feeling of inadequacy, the feeling of betrayal, of him giving up and turning away from what he wanted the most.

He felt the room shift then. It was the same feeling he'd had last night that had suddenly overtaken him. This was Blair 2.0. Not necessarily a better version of his Blair, but a damn close replica. And if he stood any chance at finding himself again, he'd have to pretend that it was almost right. Almost.

And so he turned and faced Elle, and readied himself to settle for second best...