Never Say Never

EPOV

I woke up on the wood floor of the hallway with Bella crushed to my chest. My shoulder was sore from boring into the floor all night, but I didn't care. I could smell Bella's strawberry shampoo right underneath my nose. I pushed my face into her soft hair, letting myself get wrapped up in her scent. I looked over to the clock on the wall. It was 11pm. I couldn't believe we had slept for so long. But then again I had gotten no sleep the night before. Perhaps Bella hadn't either.

I suddenly realized that I had holding her more tightly than was probably comfortable for her and loosened my grip on her. My arms had been wrapped around her small frame in a bear hug and our legs were tangled up. I could feel her steady breaths on my chest through my shirt, still damp from her tears.

I wondered what would happen when Bella woke up. Would she decide that she really didn't want to stay? Would she yell at me? Would she hate me? For once in my life, I actually hoped that Alice had opened her big mouth and told Bella everything that I had told her.

I realized that our position on the floor left Bella open to the same shoulder pain that I was experiencing, so I carefully rolled to the side so that I was on my back and Bella was on top of me. I guess the movement stirred Bella too much because she shifted in my arms a little bit before her eyes fluttered open.

She seemed a little surprised by the new position we were in and looked around a few seconds before locking her gaze with mine. Her face was serious. Not angry, but emotionless. She slowly brought one of her hands to rest on my chest, her fingertips grazing my collarbone. I could feel her other hand on the side of my face as her fingers played with my hair. Her face was still like a stone.

"Bella" I asked quietly, sliding one hand up from where it was resting on her hips to her hair. Her eyes softened as the corners of her mouth twitched upward into the light smile. I leaned my head up so that my lips made contact with hers. We both sighed lightly and she pushed her body into mine, forcing my head back down against the floor.

"We need to talk" She whispered against my lips, our foreheads touching.

I sighed. To be honest all I really wanted to do was kiss Bella right now. Hell we just woke up and I was still a little scared from the events of yesterday…well actually today. Still one more hour till tomorrow. As much as the whole Tanya thing scared me, actually seeing Bella try to leave was a million times scarier.

"About?" I asked. I wasn't sure which she wanted to talk about; Tanya or her almost leaving me, the later one destroying my life forever.

"Tanya" She said quietly.

I was about to speak but she cut me off.

"Alice told me everything and I know that nothing happened between you two, but I still don't understand why you didn't tell me about it." She said.

I took a deep breath before I spoke. I didn't really know what to say, because this wasn't what I had expected her to ask. I had practiced what I was going to say to her in my head for hours to night before. I had wanted to make sure that I could explain my thoughts to her as clearly and quickly as I possibly could, leaving her no room to distrust me. But I had expected her to want to know all about what happened when I saw Tanya that night.

"Honestly, I wasn't even thinking about it." I said, opening my eyes to look at her. "When I came back to the apartment that night and when we talked the next morning, I wasn't thinking about it. It wasn't a defining moment of that night for me. If anything, what happened with Tanya that night made me need you even more. Tanya is just like the girls I used to date back in high school. I don't think I've ever seen Tanya not completely wasted, come to think of it."

"You knew her before, then?" Bella asked.

"Yes. I met her at a couple of parties at NYU."

"O"

O? That's all she has to say, 'O'?

I pushed myself off of the floor so that I was sitting up with Bella in my lap.

"Bella" I said, pushing my forehead against hers. "What happened with Tanya that night…it made me want you more, appreciate you more... need you more. You need to understand that nothing happened. Not that night and not ever. And not with any other girls either." I pleaded.

"I'm sorry." Bella said quietly, looking down in her lap. "I didn't mean to distrust you or anything. I do trust you, really I do. I guess I was just overwhelmed. Nothing like that ever happened with us before."

"Yes it had." I said.

Bella looked up at me quizzically.

"Jake?" I said, reminding her.

We locked eyes with understanding. We had now both experienced that same thing. The same fear and anxiety that I had felt with Jake, now Bella had felt with Tanya.

"Now about this morning…" I said nervously. Part of me was afraid that she would say that she still wanted to leave. The caveman part of me wasn't afraid of that, not because he thought it wasn't a possibility, but because he would fight tooth and nail to not let that happen.

Bella stayed still, not even moving her eyes to look up at me. I couldn't even hear her breathing.

"Do you still want to…leave?" I asked quietly.

"No! No... No…" She said immediately.

I breathed a short sigh of relief.

"Well…then why…um why did…" I didn't really know how to word was I was asking. I wanted to know why she tried to leave, but I didn't want to say it in a way that sounded like I was angry at her.

"I don't really know actually. Not anymore." She said, her eyes still locked with the floorboards.

"I was scared I guess. I thought that maybe this was only the beginning. That what was happening wasn't the thunder at the end of the storm but rather the rumblings just before it."

I waited a bit to see if she was finished before I put in my thoughts. She opened her mouth again, but snapped it shut before saying anything.

"Was there something else?" I asked, leaning my head down to try and get underneath hers so that she would look at me. She simply turned her head to the side away from me.

"I guess I also kind of wanted to leave before I was left." I said.

I was shocked. How could she say that? Why would she ever even think that? Doesn't she know how much I love her? Damn it, how much I need her?

"Bella. I will never leave you. Ever." I said fiercely.

"Never say never." Bella said quietly, her face still turned towards the floor and away from me.

I grabbed her face in my hands to force her to look up at me. The brims of her eyes looked as though they were holding tears, like she was trying hard to not let them fall.

"I will never leave you. I will never leave you. I will never leave you."

I didn't know if now was really the right time, when we were in the middle of a conversation and all, but I couldn't help myself.

I pulled Bella's face to mine and kissed her hard. She whimpered and wrapped her arms around my neck. Our kisses started out slow, and got progressively quicker and more desperate. I leaned forward, Bella still clinging to my neck, so that I was hovering over her on the floor. Her legs automatically latched themselves around my hips to pull me closer to her.

My fingers slowly massaged circles into her hipbones before slowly sliding over her stomach and pulling her shirt over her head. She was still wearing her black strapless bra from the night before. And that reminded me of what other small article of clothing she was still wearing; the blue fishnet boy shorts.

At that thought, I probably could have taken her right here on the hallway floor. But my gentlemanly side won me over.

I stood up from the floor and swung Bella around so that I could carry her properly. I clutched her to my chest, almost running to the bedroom. Her nose was nuzzling my collarbone as I walked. That was when I felt a tear fall on my shoulder.

I kicked the bedroom door shut and gently sat Bella down on the edge of the bed, me standing in front of her. She looked down in her lap. I didn't understand at all why she was crying. Maybe it was me just being oblivious, like Alice has told me all guys are. I could feel my brows furrow as I threaded my hands in her hair, trying to soothe her. Bella rocked forwards and her head burrowed into my stomach as her hands wrapped around my torso tightly. As I was about to ask her what was wrong, I felt her words vibrate against my skin, but it was so muffled I couldn't tell what she said.

"What Bella?" I asked, pulling her face up to look at me.

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. For everything. For Jake, for Tanya, for running off, for crying right now, hell I'm sorry for making you feel like you can't drink anymore. Everything... all of it."

Slow, quiet tears streamed down her face as she looked up at me. I pushed her back so that I could kneel in front of her on the bed. I pulled Bella slowly to her knees as well so that our eye lines were almost level.

My hands tangled in her hair again so that I could pull her lips to mine. I had hoped that our kisses may have convinced her to stop crying.

I hate when she cries. But this is a well known fact by now. To basically everyone.

Whenever we pulled apart for air, she would apologize quietly again.

I couldn't stand it anymore. I wrapped one arm around her waist and kept one in her hair as I slowly lowered us down onto the bed. Her arms locked around my neck and when Bella's back was fully settled into the mattress, I pulled my lips away from hers, keeping all my weight on my forearms beside her head.

"Stop. Apologizing." I whispered strongly.

Bella's arms were still locked around my neck, but her face was surprised and taken aback by my tone.

Good going you idiot. Way to kill the moment by growling at her.

"It's not your fault. None of this is your fault." I said.

"I don't believe that." She said.

"Well then let's just agree that if you are at fault, I am just as guilty as you are, if not more. But I am sorry for growling at you just now."

"Its okay" She whispered, looking down at her bare stomach.

I pulled back a bit to rest my weight on my knees and slipped my hands behind her back.

"It's just that I'm trying to make love to you and you are making it quite difficult." I whispered in her ear.

I unclasped her bra and threw it to the side, sitting back to admire what I had unveiled beneath me.

"You know that bra does absolutely nothing for your breasts" I said, matter of fact-lee.

"Edward" She said, narrowing her eyes at me and probably a little shocked by my bluntness at a time like this.

"Well it doesn't." I said, moving my eyes up from her chest to her chocolate brown eyes.

"I much prefer them like this." I said quietly, leaning down to kiss each of them chastely.

Bella groaned and pushed her chest up towards me as her hands tangled in my hair. I couldn't deny her and patiently gave each breast the attention it deserved.

Bella moaned and squirmed until I decided that the teasing had to end so we could both keep our sanity.

I hooked my thumbs on the sides of her bottoms and pulled them down her legs before sliding up her body and locking my mouth with hers. My hands found their way to her ass and I could feel her warm skin through the fishnet of her boy shorts. Bella groaned and I honestly couldn't tell you what happened next. All I know is that in a matter of seconds I had ripped off the rest of our clothing.

I had been lying in the silence with Bella for a while, just relishing in the feeling of her bare skin on mine. My left arm was resting underneath her head and her body pressed into my side, her right arm flung over my torso.

There was a bit of moonlight that shone in through the curtains that gave Bella's skin a glow that was mesmerizing me. I noticed spots on her perfect creamy skin every now and then where I may have held her too tight. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt her in any way, especially after all this.

It was amazing sex though….

"Edward" Bella said, muffing her words as she turned her face into my shoulder.

"Yes love?"

"I think there is something else we should talk about…"

O great. What else did you do, you bastard! Why don't we try really hard not to be a dumbfuck anymore okay?

I sat up and leaned against the headboard of the bed. Bella sat up as well, leaning on her arm with her body still angled towards mine.

"I think we need to say everything. We tell each other the things that happened while I was in Forks and you were here. It's caused too many problems. So I think we should just get the rest out now."

"Rest of what? The rest of the things that we didn't do?" I asked my voice a bit harsh. It felt like she still didn't believe me.

"No. Well not exactly. Here I'll start."

Bella proceeded to tell me every single thing that happened while I was away at school. The part that I really perked up at was the portion where she told me about everything that happened with Jake.

At first I was angry with her for not telling me at the time. But when she gave me her reasons, I have to say that she was right; I probably would have killed him. So I guess by not telling me, she saved me from a mountain of legal fees and life in prison.

Then I told her about every single party that I went to, which ones were alright and which ones sucked. Mostly they sucked. I told her about any girl who I remembered that came onto me at parties. I also added that most of them were drunk and desperate.

And that's the honest truth

After a few hours, we had basically told each other every incident that happened when we were away from each other. For the past couple of minutes though we had been telling each other stupid things like every single movie we saw over the past year and stuff like that.

When we reached every single thing we ever had for breakfast, we just started making up the grossest combinations we could think of. Bella was no match for me in this category. When I whipped out Coco Crispies with every condiment available at a grocery store, Bella squealed in disgust and fell over laughing, pushing her face into the blankets on the opposite side of the bed.

When her laughing subsided she turned her head up to look at me.

"What day is it?" She asked.

"Umm I think it's Saturday? Maybe?" I said, looking down at her.

We exchanged a look of 'does it really matter anyways because we obviously aren't leaving here'.

It turns out it was Saturday. And we didn't leave the apartment once the entire weekend.

Firstly-I'm so sorry I haven't updated in a while! My deepest apologies :)

Secondly-I have been nominated for an award! I'm in the Best All-Human catagory for the Red Moon Awards! If anyone has any info on these award could you let me know? My beta told me about the nomination but I don't know anything else besides that.

Thirdly-It looks like this story may be coming to an end. Maybe 3 or 4 more chapters :(

Reviews are my life

Never Say Never-The Fray