under the same sun
[dignity]
summary: in retrospect, she always knew he was more important than she was. Too bad he didn't see it like that.
characters: Obito, Rin, Kakashi
honorable mentions: Minato, Uchiha clan
rating: M…wait. what? no, no, no…it's just a T.
note1: politics used to be pretty heavily entwined with ninjas when they were used, so i think it would be only obvious that being from a clan would make Obito more vital than, let's say, Rin or even Kakashi. then again, i'm getting all my ninja-info from forums online. not to mention i'm eating some soy ice cream and drinking a cup of cold coffee (mostly comprised of 30% coffee, 60% espresso shots, and 10% ice.
note2: this snowballed from a pretty cool concept into a cheese-fest of (almost) epic proportions. enjoy the huge wall of text (that is no longer considered a 'drabble' anymore, since it exceeds 1, 000 words by 2, 8213 words) coming at you. i'm going to need a beta if these get any longer. -_-"
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They didn't talk about it, but the fact that Obito was a Uchiha, made them all a little more aware at who was more important person in terms of diplomatic status. The Uchiha clan triumphed over all the others in the village in terms of infamy, making each member drastically more vital than the average shinobi.
Especially compared someone like her, a virtual nobody with no clan attachments and no family to speak of, Obito was the more imperative member of their unit.
Protecting him from harm, all to avoid political backlash of losing a valuable clan member, was at the forefront of their minds during missions. Even Kakashi, someone who barely tolerated the bubbly ninja, knew that in status Obito was far more significant. Maybe it grated on his nerves when he thinks about how truly advanced Obito in comparison to him when it came to social importance, and he made sure to belittle him and his ninja capabilities when he could.
Minato didn't say anything to them about the raven haired boy when they first formed their unit. It was left unsaid, however; they all knew about the Uchiha's rich history engraved in Konoha. To Rin, it seemed only logical to try to keep Obito secure on the battlefield when possible. What would the repercussions be if he were killed and someone like her spared? The injustice of how political the shinobi world weighed heavily on her.
Coming from a nonexistent background, she understood better than anyone how unfair it was to see capable ninja being sacrificed to protect someone who had connections to clans of importance in villages and countries. She didn't begrudge Obito this – she couldn't even if she tried – since he had no idea of how things worked. His blissful obliviousness on the world was envied, and at times she wished she could share his level of carelessness when it came to things about being a shinobi.
They all knew to keep it from him – an unspoken agreement that outlasted whatever bitterness someone held – to protect his dignity. At least, she tried to, and she was sure Minato did too. Kakashi had no qualms of dropping subtle hints here and there. Thankfully (or unfortunately, depending on who was saying it) Obito wouldn't notice hints even if they were the size of pianos and dropped on top of him.
When he did find out – not due to carelessness or a slip of the tongue by any of his teammates – from a malicious enemy during a mission in a poorer land, he didn't react in the way Rin expected. He stood there, eyes wide and body trembling as the ninja jeered at him about social class and castes they fell under. Obito was part of a privileged group who would be protected even in war. His significance to the grand scheme of things was higher than that of a regular shinobi who came from civilian parents.
She kept her head bowed against the binds that tied her to the tree, feeling his intense gaze lingering on her. Rin wasn't sure how to meet his stare, knowing that he knew, that he would be second-guessing his capabilities as a ninja (thinking about all the things Kakashi said) and wondering if they were true. The thoughts that must have rushed through his head were simply unimaginable to her.
What would she do if that was her?
Probably demand to know if she was worth it, if the only reason she was standing where she is was because of her last name. It must have been awful for him. She wanted to rush up and hug him, tell him that he was worth it, regardless of his clan. That he deserved it.
She refused to meet his eyes the entire journey home. Even Kakashi was silent, something she never expected. She was positive that if Obito found out, the silver-haired boy wouldn't miss the opportunity to throw it in his face.
Nobody said much of anything.
Obito, someone who never missed the chance to prove his worth and shine above all others, was docile. He skipped breakfast the next morning after finishing their mission, and was waiting by the village's exit, stuff packed and eyes downcast. Rin's medical prowess gave her the sneaking suspicion that he hadn't slept at all last night, but from the hunched, guarded expression on his face, she thought better to bring it up.
The silence they traveled was awkward and lingered when they reached the gates of Konoha, something Rin was hoping with dissipate overtime and they'd all be back to their usual selves. Seeing Obito rush ahead, mumbling about being tried and needing to get home, made her chest ache.
It wasn't his fault. None of this was. He didn't need to hide from them – they were a team; they needed to work things out together. Maybe she should have said something, told him that he was capable without the guise of being a Uchiha hanging over his head wherever they went. It wasn't as though the clan needed the extra protection; they had one of the most fearsome eye techniques ever. They could take care of themselves without someone looking out for them.
Hopefully Obito could see that.
Rin was growing increasingly worried as the weeks past.
Obito's depressive episode following their return to the village was something she hadn't expected. Usually he could bounce back from pretty much anything; this uncharacteristic lack of enthusiasm was making her anxious. Sometimes he didn't even show up for practice.
The longest she went without seeing him before was a day, maybe two, but now it was bordering on days, almost weeks, where her days strangely lacked a certain Uchiha. Things just weren't the same without him bounding into the hospital, easily upsetting most of the people around him (although, she didn't notice until now that most of them wore bright smiles when they saw him, too), and trying to flirt with her.
It was empty without him around.
She didn't like it.
Her concern for her teammate and friend wasn't something she was experiencing by herself. Minato was also looking more and more troubled at his absence. More than once he mentioned his uncharacteristic mood changes, conveying a deep sympathy for the onyx haired boy. More surprising was Kakashi utter silence on the matter. He didn't go out of his way to drag Obito down, per se, but he usually wouldn't miss a chance to snidely rub it in.
Rin wasn't sure what was happening to her team.
Obito was MIA for days at a time (and when he did show up, he looked worse for wear), Kakashi was oddly silent, she was feeling more anxious as they days past, and Minato came back empty-handed each time he went looking for their teammate. This wasn't how things was supposed to go.
Maybe she couldn't understand where Obito's mindset was now, but she wanted to help her teammate. He was important to her, and seeing him so…down was troubling. It hurt her to watch him refuse to meet their gaze or turn into a reclusive when he was such an extrovert.
She was going to find him.
Making him see his worth would be easy…Obito just needed some encouragement to bring back his usual confidence. She would do it today when she finished up her shift at the hospital. He only needed a little pep-talk and he'd be back to normal – they'd be back to normal.
Wouldn't they?
No matter how many times she went there, the beauty of the Uchiha compound always took her breath away. It looked gorgeous during this time of day when the sun was about to set. Mid-autumn made the trees turn a ripe orange and red color, showering the bustling side-streets in a flurry of leaves. She knew some of the people she saw, waving to them in a friendly gesture.
It still made her feel a little out-of-place standing in the middle of such important people, and she tried to disquiet this voice down before she saw Obito. It surprised her how different he was in contrast to the other Uchiha's, with their stoic faces and air of superiority. He was unique; his ideals and dreams escaped the confines of his clan and the village.
He lived with his grandmother on the outskirts of the compound, nestled away in a shrubbery of cherry blossoms and a koi pond. Rin used to love coming over his house when they first met each other and became friends. They would sit by the pond, eating a plate of dangos whilst his grandmother tended to the little garden.
She knocked on the door lightly, hoping that everything would be back to normal soon.
"E-eh? Rin-chan? What are you doing here?"
Rin was sad to hear the noticeable lack of enthusiasm in his voice. "Hey, Obito, I wanted to see how you were doing…"
The dark circles under his eyes were testament to how he was doing. He looked tired…no, exhausted was a better word. The medic inside of her begged to reprimand him about taking care of himself, to explain to him the importance of sleep, but it was quieted by the concerned friend shining through. She wanted to hug him closely to her and tell him everything would be okay, but she was beginning to realize that maybe a 'little pep-talk' wasn't going work.
"I'm fine," it sounded forced even to her ears.
He must have thought so too, wincing after the clipped reply, and casting his eyes down. It was disheartening to see him this way, paler than usual, looking sick, and lacking his usual all-consuming vibrancy. She tried to understand his despondent reaction to something she grew up knowing, but could barely scratch the surface.
"You're not, Obito…"
"Its okay, Rin," he insisted, inching the door closed, "just go back to Kakashi and stop worrying about me," the way he spat his teammates name made her wince. "Oh, wait; you can't right? Because it's part of your job to make sure Uchiha is safe."
The way he said it broke her heart even more. She wanted to rush over, hug him close to her, and convince him that she wasn't here because it was her job. Protecting him, that little voice that repeated his name over and over again in the back of her mind when they went on missions, wasn't something she did because she was supposed to. Doing it, making sure he was okay, was an expression of her trust in him, her love for her team, and the need to want him to be safe. He did things without thinking, acting without cause to protect and care for someone, and to Rin, that made him the most vulnerable out of them all.
The ninja world wasn't filled with butterflies and rainbows. It was cruel to those who wandered down its path. Some people went down lighthearted, loving, and accepting and came out hearted shells of their former selves. Other walked the path already looking for a fight, to break someone down, and to gain control and destruction, coming out worse than before (or in rare cases, better). Either way, it was ingrained in everyone's subconscious that when they choose to become a shinobi, life would never be the same.
She wanted to shield Obito from that, even if it meant blinding him in the process. People would destroy someone like him in an instant. He was too compassionate, and that made others envious because empathy was lost on them and they knew it. Rin wanted to say that she wasn't cruel, but that wouldn't necessarily be true. In her hands, the choice of life or death settled heavily, and she had more than her fair share of blood staining them. Being a medical-ninja, she was trained to know where to kill, how to kill, and when to kill during her practice. If needed, they could send her when they pleased to charade herself around as a ditzy medic, only to be undercover as an assassin.
Konoha was a well-to-do village, and taking up missions of murder wasn't often enforced on the younger genin and chunin. It didn't mean it never happened, that people didn't die by hers, Kakashi's, or Obito's hands, but it wasn't so extreme and frequent like it was in some poorer villages.
They knew hardships.
When she first met Obito, stumbling in late for the academy exam, she knew right then and there that he needed to be protected. He was the proverbial light that drew people to its flame – some seeking more than heat and comfort; they sought to contaminate those who lingered around the light before infecting the light itself.
She didn't want to see him fall. If he became hardened and evil, what would happen to someone like her? Rin didn't want to think about it – couldn't think about it – and pushed it to the back of her mind. It was too painful to even consider. She liked that he was so ebullient, regardless of the situation
"That's not true, Obito." She watched helplessly as his face clouded over in disbelief. He shook his head, but she refused to let him believe that she was lying to him. "Yes, we're supposed to protect you and watch you because of your last name, but is that the only reason? No. we do it because we're a team, and teammates – no, friends – are supposed to look out for each other."
Rin felt lost as she tried desperately to convey how he was worth more than the Uchiha name bestowed upon him. Usually, when she spoke, her words was soaked up by him like a sponge. He was barely listening to her now; an impenetrable wall of self-pity and embarrassment.
He was worth it and so much more.
"We're friends, okay? I wouldn't even think twice about protecting you-"
"But you're not supposed to, Rin!" His hands were suddenly holding her shoulders in a hard grip that was so unlike him, it made her gasp loudly. "I'm supposed to protect you; not the other way around."
"Obito, I…"
"I can't stand it…" He whispered, dropping his head and slacking his clutch on her shoulders. "Kakashi, sensei, and even you, all looking out for me…And yet, I can't even do the same. Maybe," she heard the shutting intake of breath from him and her heart froze in a deep ache at the sound. "Maybe…Kakashi was right. I'm not meant to be a ninja. I'm barely able to carry the Uchiha name without insulting or embarrassing someone from my clan…I'm a useless person, Rin. And I-"
"Stop it already!" His heart wrenching words – a confessional she didn't deserve to hear, but was honored immensely for the opportunity, to be the person he trusted enough to share it with – made her eyes sting, welling with tears she let shed without hesitance. Jerking forward, she threw herself into his embrace, linking her arms around his midsection and burying her face inside the crook of his neck. "You're worth it, Obito, and so much more. You are so much better than anyone I've ever met, and probably anyone I'll ever meet. I…I don't want you to doubt yourself at all! You've come so far since the academy days! Can't you see it? You've grown so much…matured so much…changed so much…"
This wasn't the first time she's hugged him, yet it was so much more personal than before. She felt warm in his embrace, with his arms hanging loosely between them, fingers digging into her skin, biting harshly from the shock of sudden intimacy in her displayed between them. She clung to him tightly, refusing to let go, wanting to communicate how much she truly appreciated him and how his capabilities of a ninja were unquestionable. Protecting him was not an obligation but unconscious thing inside of her that snapped to attention when he was in close proximity.
"You're worth it, Obito…Not your name, or your history, but you," she urged, digging her face into his neck, trying to press herself into him. She wanted him not to just hear her words, but to feel them too. "We protect you because we care, and we'd do it whether you were a Uchiha or not."
His arms slipped out from between them, and wound around her back, dissipating the nonexistent space between them. Rin could feel his heart beating erratically against her own chest (or was that her own heartbeat?) and the heat from his body seeping into her very core. He seemed to melt into her embrace, liquefying in her arms as the emotional turmoil and mental stress took its toll and drained him of the little energy he was running on.
They stayed in their grasp for a while, Obito silently crying on Rin's shoulder, as she pretended not to notice the body-wracking sobs that emanated from the boy in her clutch. She held on to him, refusing to be the one to let go first. That option to break the contact was his. He needed this more than she did, and (if she was being honest with herself) it felt nice to have him so physically close to her, to be the one to share his struggle and help him overcome it.
The shaking of his body from the force of his sobs was slowing down, and she slackened her hold slightly, trying to regain feeling back in her shoulders from the awkward hold she had on him. A unique musk clung to him; a blend between a hot summery day and rain on hot concrete. She inhaled, basking in the scent, and the feel of his warmth pressing against her. Their casual hugs (usually done in celebration of competing a particularly long mission or when Minato agreed to pay for their dinner after training) were never as deep as this. Rin felt so comfortable in his embrace; sleepiness welling up inside of her, consuming her like it had Obito, after the long, emotional weeks of constant worrying and fretting over his well-being and metal state of mind.
Seeing him finally releasing everything made her smile softly into the soft black hair tickling her nose.
She heard him sniff loudly before he began to pull away. Slackening her grip on him, Rin allowed him to slowly separate from her, and took a step back, giving him some personal space.
He wiped his face on his black sleeve, bowing his head to hide the tear stains on his cheeks and chin. Allowing him the privacy, she looked away, out toward the pond and at the lingering twilight surrounding them. They'd been out there for a while, she guessed, bringing her arms up around her mid-section.
She was a little intimidated to look at him now, after the way she reacted. Hugging him out of nowhere, saying all those things – she meant every last word, but they were a little embarrassing and heavily inclining to something a…concerned lover would say – and acting brash, was all unusual and out of character for her. A heated flush danced across the bridge of her nose when Obito whispered her name.
Glancing shyly at him, she quickly attempted to weed out the awkwardness around them with a bright smile. "Do you feel better now, Obito?"
"Y-yeah," he stuttered, his face the same shade – maybe a little darker – as hers. "Thanks, Rin…"
"You're going to start coming to training everyday now? And get the proper sleep – don't give me that look, Obito – I'm a medic, I know these things – that you need?"
He answered with a sarcastic: "yes, mum," before smiling at her. "Really though, Rin-chan – ah, thanks. I mean it…"
"Any time, Obito; I'm here when you need me, because we're friends."
"I know."
The onyx haired boy nodded seriously, holding her gaze with the depth of his sincerity and compassion for her. Her heart sputtered in her chest (she blamed it on the lack of sleep and heavy emotional drama she went through – not because his smile was really adorable, or because he seemed so much…older and mature now) and she clasped her hand over it, gasping.
Obito…? She wondered, awestruck. Was she…? No, that wasn't possible; he was her friend. He needed her, and that was all.
…Wasn't it?
"Aw, gees," he suddenly exclaimed, breaking her away from her slight epiphany she had. "I can't believe I cried in front of a girl – and it was Rin-chan, too! Ugh, how lame! I bet Kakashi never went through this. Damn, that's so not cool." His eyes shot her hers, desperation seeping into his gaze and voice. "Rin-chan, could you not tell anyone about this? I wasn't crying because I was, you know, ashamed or anything – my grandmother made really spicy wasabi and I touched it earlier, and it got into my eyes – yeah, that's it! She's going old, you know? Senility and all that…Eh, hehe…"
Her brow arched up at his mood-swing. "Looks like someone feels better."
"Pft, like I was feeling depressed anyway! That's for losers, Rin-chan! You should know this by now! Only stupid people – like Kakashi and Gai – get all broody and sappy, you know? That's so not me…"
Shaking her head, she smiled softly, relieved to see him back to his old self again. Her heart calmed down, and she let her hand fall away from her chest, rolling her eyes at herself (and Obito, who seemed to absorb some kind of energy and was now talking about the difference between him compared to Kakashi and Gai).
She turned to leave, saying an exasperated goodbye to Obito – and his offhanded suggestion of a contest between the three men, with her as the judge, and him trying to bribe her already – who blinked owlishly at her from behind his goggles that he'd slipped on during his explanation of Kakashi and Gai being so not as cool as him.
"Ah, Rin-chan…" she heard him say, and glanced over her shoulder at him. His shoulders were squared in a confident stance she'd never seen him take before, and his hands were shoved deep inside his trouser pockets. The looks on his face, however, was what truly caught her attention. He wore a serene grin on his face, and his eyes held a deep appreciation in their dark depths. Her breath caught in her throat. "Thanks, for everything."
His smile widened, and then without waiting for a reply, he nodded and turned around, heading into his house. Rin watched with wide eyes at his leave, her mouth hanging open in shock.
Her heart shuddered in her chest once again.
There was no way she could have fallen for Obito a moment ago.
…Right?
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note3: i think i properly conveyed Obito's ability to bounce back almost instantaneously – maybe, but probably not. ah, well. This was in Rin's POV instead of my usual tendency of doing it in Obito's…i just didn't think it'd be portrayed properly if i went on about how "Kakashi, Rin, and Minato had to protect [him] all the time," and would lose a bunch of readers due to boredom. and, aw, Rin's confused about her feelings for Obito~ how cute. ^^
note4: wanna drop a line? seriously, it's cool if you do – i swear i don't bite…! please? i'm so lonely… :( next chapter will have so much romance you're face will melt off. (no promises; i can't write romance to save my life, but i will try)! so, please review.