A/N: Welcome to all the new readers! Thanks for the reviews! I'm on a roll tonight so here's an extra-long chapter for you, didn't want to leave you hanging. Just don't hate me at the end ok!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the story line, SM owns the characters I'm just having fun with them.

Peter POV
I was nervous heading back toward the house with Edward. We had talked about our human fathers and found we understood each other despite our differences. I told him how all my victims wore my father's face and helped me feel in some way I was avenging my brother's death. He asked about life back in camp and the different vampires I had known. I told him about my relationship with Jasper, and about my marriage to Charlotte. When I told him about the baby we lost he told me I should talk to Esme about it.

It didn't take him long to satisfy his curiosity about my life before he just started talking. He told me how lonely he had been in a house with mated vampires, and then with just Alice for company. He told me how uncomfortable he always felt and it seemed like no one understood that. He had been thinking a long time about seeing how human blood would affect him, but he didn't feel like he could disappoint Carlisle. Hearing human thoughts had made him almost change his mind when he would pass a murderer or child molester on the street and hear them thinking of their victims, but his loyalty to Carlisle's philosophy always held him back. He said that Emmett and Esme had both had several slip ups where they accidentally killed humans it had really taken a toll on the family. Carlisle claimed to offer them all a choice in what diet they wanted to follow but his guilt trips were apparently legendary.

The longer I listened to him I realized just how isolated this kid has been. He was a vampire that was raised in a human world; his family set themselves apart from humans but Edward was constantly surrounded by their thoughts, as well as his family's. He had no idea which way was up and which was down, what was right or wrong in either world. He was clinging to the Victorian ideals he was raised with when he was no longer even the same species that those rules applied to. Carlisle knew what being a vampire meant but he had chosen not to instruct his family on all those details. Instead he encouraged them to suppress their instincts and strive to be human when it was an impossible goal to reach. On top of that, with Edward's gift he was forced to listen to each and every family member and no one ever thought he might need to speak as well.

Before we went back to the house he asked me if I wanted to try hunting his way. I figured it wouldn't hurt to try since Jasper was obviously planning on staying around here, so I followed him deeper into the woods and watched as he took down two large deer and drained them like he was a starving newborn. When Edward heard that thought he told me that animal blood met their needs and kept them alive, but they were never truly satisfied. This worried me some, we used starvation and bribery to motivate the newborns back at camp. It was a training method and/or punishment, not a way of life. And when I finally worked up the nerve to take down a deer of my own I almost spit the blood back out, it was so bad. I ended up letting Edward finish mine, I had absolutely no instincts to guard my kill that time. He was welcome to it.

We started walking at a human pace back to the house and I waited for Edward to start talking again but he seemed to be thinking hard. About halfway back he stopped and waited for me to turn around and look at him. His face was set in hard lines and I could almost feel the determination coming from him, like I had Jasper's gift. He took a deep breath and said, "I'm going to do it. I thought I had to be perfect for Carlisle but I don't know as much as I thought I did. I need to see for myself which way I want to live. Um, do you think you and Jasper could help me learn to hunt humans?"

Whoa, what the hell did I get myself into this time? On the one hand I knew Jasper was wanting to try this new way to live, but on the other I felt like this kid needed somebody in his corner. I mean, shit, he's been a vampire as long as I have and he has no idea what it really means! Jasper is probably gonna be pissed but I just can't tell him no. And I'm a little worried about him going off on his own, he could easily be killed by nomads and no one would know what happened to him.

I knew he heard my answer when I thought it but he waited for me to speak before he reacted. "I can't speak for the Major but I don't mind taking you off to hunt a time or two and see what you think of it. I doubt anyone else in your family will and you don't need to be goin' off by yourself when you have no idea what you're doin'. But you know Carlisle ain't gonna like this one bit, right?"

My warning did nothing to dim his smile and I thought for a second he was gonna jump up and down. I just shook my head and gestured toward the house, "We better get this over with I guess."

Walking in the house I was really worried about the reaction Edward was gonna get. He didn't help anything by how he announced his intentions either. He just walked right in, looked at his father figure and said, "Carlisle, I want to try human blood."

Jasper POV
It was dead silent for exactly 4 seconds before all hell broke loose. Carlisle's rage almost knocked me over with its intensity but it was directed at my mate. "Peter, what did you tell him? Are you two just here to try to fuck up this family? What did we ever do to you?" When he took a step in Peter's direction I lost it and would have torn him to pieces if my mate hadn't wrapped his arms around me like iron bars and pulled me back. I knew right then that I was right about our fights- he was definitely stronger and faster than I was, he had just been going easy on me for the past 20 years. Talk about a kick to the ego.

"Major, you know you don't want to hurt anybody, and Carlisle is just angry right now. Focus on me and come back down, ok? I love you; feel that, please." Peter kept whispering in my ear and sending me waves of his love until I could think clearly again. I relaxed back in his arms and he kissed my neck asking, "You ok now?" waiting for me to nod before he loosened his hold.

I took a deep breath before I turned to face Carlisle. "What the hell were you thinkin'? After all that we talked about today, why on earth would you make any kind of aggressive move against my mate? You know I'm on edge and you pushed me anyway! You're lucky Peter stopped me, you know."

Carlisle was still angry but he was also shocked at how fast I had turned on him and how easily Peter subdued me. Edward hadn't moved since he came in the door. He stood with his head up, feet shoulder width apart, and arms crossed defiantly. I had no idea what he and Peter had talked about but somewhere out there the kid had found his backbone. Determination was his predominate emotion, with only a small undercurrent of fear.

"Look Edward, if this is some rebellious thing because of what you found out today, can we just talk through it? You know you don't really want to hunt humans, you're happy with our lifestyle." Carlisle was sure of what he was saying but I didn't think Edward would back down that easily.

"No, Carlisle. This has nothing to do with your lies, other than the fact I no longer feel the need to strive so hard to be perfect for you. This is about something I have been wanting to do for a long time and no one in this family would listen to me about. And ever since Alice showed up I couldn't even think about it without her jumping down my throat with her stupid visions. Talking to Peter today I realized that I am a vampire and I have no idea what a vampire really is. I have been trying to be a human for the past 23 years and enough is enough. Now I hope you will support my choice but I will do this with or without you." As he finished his speech I cut my eyes to Peter and felt his pride for the boy. I wonder how much influence my mate had on his decision but Peter has never been the pushy type. He mostly just shows you the answer and leaves it up to you whether or not you'll get there.

Carlisle's eyes hardened as he looked at his oldest son and I could tell he was about to make a huge mistake. "Edward, if you choose to disregard my rules and throw away what this family works so hard for, I can't allow you to remain here with us. I will give you some money to make your own way but I can't have you living under my roof while disrespecting what is sacred to me." Oh, great. That was real smart. Give a teenage boy an ultimatum and see how far that will get you. I know how far it got my Ma- got her down one son and she never saw him again. I really thought Carlisle was smarter than that.

I was a bit surprised when Peter stepped into their argument. "Now wait a minute, Doc. Are you tellin' me you will throw your "perfect" son out on the street just because he doesn't agree with you and wants to try somethin' that you claimed you were offerin' him a choice in when you took his life away and made him into somethin' you seem to despise? I think you were tryin' to make him into an angel because they don't have the luxury of free will. But this boy standin' here is a vampire, because of you, and he has a right to choose his own way." Wow. I never knew my mate to interfere with other people's lives but he is sticking up for this kid for some reason.

"Peter, this is between me and my son. I don't need your opinion right now." Well, now he's pissin' me off again. Is this what family is like? I never fought with Peter, we didn't find much to disagree on I guess. But these Cullens don't seem to agree on anything!

"Tell me this Carlisle," Peter continued, "If my mate wants to live here and suck down animals like y'all do, and I don't want to because they taste like shit and don't fill ya up, will you allow me to live here with my mate? Or will you force one or both of us to leave?" Good question. Is he really that much against it and how does he know what they taste like? Did he hunt with Edward? I fought back a flare of jealousy, I knew how much my mate loved me.

Carlisle stopped and looked between us. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a minute before steeling his resolve to answer. "Look, I have a right to run my house the way I see fit. I won't tolerate human drinkers living here permanently. If you want to live here you follow my diet. Otherwise, you can leave. Jasper, I won't tell you what to do. If you want to stay here and try our lifestyle, that's fine. But if your mate refuses, I can't allow him to live here with my family."

I looked at Peter trying to gauge how serious he was. "Will you at least try it Peter, I won't ask you to stay if you don't like it, but at least try it first? I really want to go to school and do somethin' other than fight wars. I don't like being a nomad and it wouldn't hurt me to change my appearance a little. The last place a warlord would look for me would be with a bunch of animal drinkers."

Peter shook his head at me sadly. "I did try it Major. I couldn't even get past the first mouthful. And I bet there are things Carlisle hasn't told you, like how the animal blood doesn't stop the thirst as well. I watched Edward suck down three huge deer, so tell me how thirsty he still is right now. Can you feel it?"

I could, it was causing the burn in my throat to pick up a little and it was hard to believe he had just fed. But I wasn't ready to completely give up this idea yet. I thought for a minute before I turned to my mate trying to come up with a compromise. "What if I stay here for a couple of months, try to see if I can get used to it enough to try school, and then if I can I'll come meet you and we can find somewhere to live together. I won't make you change your diet, maybe you can hunt in a nearby city or something. Edward can come stay with us if he wants, I don't mind that."

I felt the hurt building in my mate from the minute I started to speak and I wondered how royally I had just fucked things up. "You want me to leave you? You want to put other people above your mate? Did he brainwash you while you were in here alone Jasper, because I don't know who the hell you are right now. Maybe we do need to be apart so we can figure out who we are other than mates. Go be a good little school boy and I'll go be a vampire, ok. Edward, you comin' boy?" Peter's hurt was slowly drowned in his anger and when he turned on his heel he didn't look back at me once.

I ran out the door before Edward could follow and grabbed his hand. "Peter wait! Where are you goin'? When will you be back?" I stopped myself before I sounded too much like I was begging and waited for him to answer.

"I'll be close. Don't want to hunt too close to the Cullen territory but I won't be too far away from you either. I'll come check in on you in a few weeks if that's ok with your daddy. Just let me know if you want me to cover my scent or not." His eyes softened for a moment as he added, "Are you sure you won't come with us?" I just shook my head and looked down at my feet but he wouldn't let me get away with that. He jerked my head up and pulled me in for a bruising kiss, before he stepped away forcefully and took off running to the east. Edward looked at me and then at Carlisle who wouldn't meet his eyes. He shook his head and ran off after my mate.

Carlisle came to put his hand on my shoulder but I stumbled back a few steps before sitting on the ground hard. What the hell have I done?