AN: Thanks for the reviews, guys! :) So here's the next oneshot. It's my (lame) attempt at writing angst. I know it's been done a lot of times before, but this is my take on it. :) Hope you guys like it!

-I own nothing.

She cracked her knuckles slightly and stretched her back, arching it in preparation for something she had not done in years. The precision required of a surgeon was something she possessed, but it was different to let her fingers glide delicately across the piano keys she had not played in quite a while.

The hospital had acquired a piano, for reasons unknown to everyone except Richard. He had situated it at the attendings' lounge, free for anyone's usage. And tonight, after a 15 hour shift and while on call, Addison decided to take advantage of it. She couldn't fall asleep, not yet anyway. Images of her husband flirting with Meredith Grey flashed across her brain, giving her no rest or comfort, which was why she decided that at the moment, the real keys to her chained happiness were the piano's.

Slowly but surely, she positioned her fingers over them, allowing them to press down and create harmonious melodies that transported her to a time and place of simplicity. The tune, hauntingly familiar, was one she knew by heart; one she had learned when she first started playing the intrument.

Her mother had asked her sweet and soulful grandmother to teach her to play the daunting instrument. Her grandmother, Victoria Archibald Forbes, a free-spirited yet highly devout lady, had always possessed a love for music, especially those of the contemporary age. She had longed to impart her knowledge to her grandchildren, so as soon as Beatrice Forbes Montgomery asked her to teach young Addison how, she jumped at the chance and created in Addison a deep love for music. This was later affirmed by the band-geek Addison who played the trombone in the marching band.

She found Rodgers and Hammerstein comforting, one of the reasons she loved musicals dearly. The words stirred up the child in her, needing nothing more than innocent laughter and simple joys. They always reminded her of faith, of happily ever afters and hope in spite of chaos.

Unbeknownst to her, the music she played had beckoned to everyone on the floor, all of them straining their ears to catch an earful of the beautiful music Dr. Montgomery- Shepherd was playing. It was surprsing, but pleasantly, and it put them in a good mood despite the hour. She was a professional, practicing everyday until she had to move out for college, and could play any challenging repertoire for anyone who cared to listen. And to the staff, to have generally uptight and bitchy Addison Montgomery Shepherd play was a welcomed change.

One of those she had drawn to the harmonious sound was her husband, with whom things had been difficult lately. Every time she thought they were making progress, something would come up and they would go two steps back. If it weren't for the fact that Addison was such a fighter, things would've gone speedily downhill for them, especially with his newfound love for Meredith Grey.

Derek leaned against the doorframe, watching Addison from the back as she let her fingers gracefully move across the instrument. He smiled, humming to himself at the sight of her so entranced by the music. He secretly loved seeing her play. It was when she played that she was most comfortable, happiest even. She was always so at ease that it made his heart soar to see her so.

To laugh like a brook when it trips and falls over stones on its way
To sing through the night like a lark who is learning to pray.

And then just as surprisingly as it happened, it stopped, Addison recoiling her touch from the seemingly offensive instrument. Her eyes widened in shock, tears welling in her beautiful green eyes. She didn't know how things went from comforting, to terribly horrifying. All she knew was that the song brought back memories she had wanted for so long to bury into oblivion.

Derek's face fell, his heart clenching slightly at the torment he had yet to see on her features. He took a step forward, cautiously so as not to surprise her.

"Addie.."

She turned her back, surprised to see anyone at all in the room with her. "Derek?" she asked, wiping at her tears angrily and trying to pretend that nothing was wrong.

He opened his mouth to say something, but thought the better of it and sighed. "You played very beautifully," he settled, eyeing Addison's expression carefully. He was completely puzzled with Addison behavior, and he tried to jog up his brain for anything that may link him to better understanding her.

"Thank you," she whispered, standing up to smooth invisible wrinkles on her scrubs.

"I haven't heard you play in a while," he said quietly, almost wistfully. "I had almost forgotten that you did... play the piano, I mean."

She nodded, moving from the piano to the middle of the room, her hands digging unsurely into the pockets of her scrub pants. "I thought I'd forgotten how actually," she admitted. "I've lost sight of a lot of things these days..."

His lips curved into a small smile, his eyes twinkling with sympathetic apologies. "It was perfect though, like you've practiced your whole life," he said honestly.

"I did, acutally. My grandmother taught me the song, remember?"

He nodded, walking deeper into the room and standing a few inches from Addison. "You know, you never told me why you love that song so much. It couldn't be just because your grandmother taught it to you. There must be some sentimental reason for you to love it."

Addison shrugged, her face remaining passive. "It's comforting, is all. The lyrics… they're heartfelt."

He nodded again and laid his hand on the small of her back, waiting to see if she would wince at his touch. And when she didn't, he lead her to the couch, sitting her beside him and allowing her to rest her head on chest as he pulled her closer to him.

"I go to the hills when my heart is lonely," she whispered, tracing lazy circles on his chest.

"The words?" he asked, watching her carelessly and subconsciously draw patterns on his scrub top.

She nodded, breathing in his scent. "There aren't any hills in Hartford, but there was this park I used to go to when my dad would come home drunk in the middle of the day. It was solace. And... It's where I started to appreciate nature more; the sights... The sounds..."

A look of confusion spread across his face. "But you seemingly hate the trailer," he stated, the end of his sentence curling upward.

Addison laughed lightly. "I don't seemingly hate it. I really do."

He joined in her laughter. "Then why?"

Her laughter died down abruptly, her face contorting in pain and panic. It was obvious that whatever it was that was bothering her had been haunting her for a long time, but never found the courage to face it. "I... I just do," she said hastily.

"Addie? I think I know when you're lying to me. Come on," he urged, concerned at his wife's sudden change in demeanor. Though he had been far from caring these past months, it bothered him to see her battle with demons only she could see. She was the epitome of strength, and for her to be so forlorn in her battles stirred up a primal desire for him to care for her. Though he would admit that his indifference hurt her more than he could ever put into words, there was nothing more painful than to have strong, independent Addison crumble.

She moved to stand up, but Derek held her firmly in place, genuine concern lacing his features. "Derek…" she said tiredly. "It's not something I want to discuss, okay? So I would very much appreciate it if we just dropped the subject." It was foreign and yet completely familiar to have Derek care for her the way he did now. But she couldn't allow herself to open up her heart, knowing that in the end, she would only hurt herself.

"Adds... Let me help you."

She sighed, shaking her head in defiance. "It was a long time ago, nothing you should concern yourself with. I'm trying to move forward from it and it hardly matters anymore."

"It matters if it's enough to make you react this way. Come on, let me in," he begged quietly, wanting to find out why all of a sudden, Addison was shutting him out. It was usually him who did the shutting out part. Addison used to be very good at expressing her emotions.

"I have to go," she said quickly, standing up and walking out the door, leaving Derek staring behind her. She decided she couldn't continue the conversation, knowing that if she did, she would only be exposing another fragile piece of herself, open to his destruction.

-

Derek lay in the trailer the next night, still pondering Addison's peculiar behavior from the night before. He didn't was be rudely condescending, but he didn't want to acquiesce to Addison closing him off. He sighed, rubbing his temples in slight frustration when he heard her car pull up against the gravel. He waited attentively as the headlights turned off, Addison staying a while longer in the car, no doubt trying to brace herself for another night of indifference. After about 10 minutes, he heard the car door slam shut followed by the trailer door opening, a gust of cold wind entering.

Addison walked in cautiously, closing the trailer door behind her and standing adjacent to the bed. Derek stared at her, the loneliness in her eyes finally making an impact on him. She looked fragile amid her efforts to conceal any form of weakness. Her eyes were melancholy, her stance less confident than he remembered. She looked tired, of what; he didn't need three guesses for. His eyes followed her as she set her purse on the small kitchen counter and stood in the small area that separated the kitchen and the bedroom.

"My father raped me," she blurted out quietly, her eyes cast downward. "In that park I was telling you about. I went missing for two days before they found me, still naked from the violation." Her voice was pained, quiet. It was the first she had told anybody about the incident since it had happened.

The silence between them was enormous as Derek gaped at her in complete shock. His jaw fell, his eyes widened, and his heart beat erratically as he looked at the woman in front of him. She was raped. Her father had violated her. And she never told him. He waited for her to say something as he was still too caught up in his surprise to utter anything comprehendible. The only words that were running through his head were the words rape and father, somehow not believing that they appeared in the same sentence.

"I didn't tell my mother that it was dad. She... would've never believed me," she continued, her voice raw and pained and nothing more than a whisper. "But Archer knew... And he did what he could to protect me. I... never told you because I wanted to stop grieving over something that happened when I was 14. I never wanted to tell anyone because I couldn't take the looks of pity and… just… everything would've made things real. And I didn't want it to be real. I didn't want to remember," she admitted, finding it very difficult to pour her heart out about something she had closed off years before. She stood there awkwardly, waiting for Derek to react. Her eyes settled on Derek unsurely, her heart beating harder against her own chest at the revelation. She never could quite guess how she was able to deal with the happenings of her childhood with surprising strength. At the moment, all she knew was that it felt like a load was lifted from her shoulders as she made the first step toward opening up.

There was a lapse between them, Derek still trying to process what she had just revealed. He sat in pity and compassion at the woman standing before him. He never would've guessed that the man she called her father could ever hurt her the way he did. But above all, he sat in complete awe at the inner strength she possessed, at the power of her being to survive through something he never could've imagined. He had underestimated her, and it put Addison in a whole different perspective. "Addie..."

"I don't know why I told you now. I mean it's... Never bothered me before to tell you. But last night, at the lounge... The way you looked at me," she paused, closing her eyes reliving that short moment with Derek. "You looked at me like you did before Mark... Like you really cared. And I've been wanting so long for you to look at me like that again and I just... I thought maybe it was time to tell you. I mean," she shifted her weight unsurely, her hands balling into fists to try to contain her emotions. "It was a part of my past that I wanted so badly to bury away and I just... Thought you would want to know. I mean, I stopped playing that song when it happened because it reminded me of the incident. Yesterday was the first time I played it in 20 years. And it just brought back memories," she rambled on, unaware that she was blabbering. "I want you to know now though. I want you to know what happened."

In one instant, Derek had crossed the small trailer and wrapped his strong arms around Addison with such intensity and urgency that it brought forth the floodgates from Addison's eyes. He let her bury her face in his chest as he tightened his hold on her, stroking her back and himself feeling a rush of emotions. The revelation weighed so heavily on him that he couldn't begin to comprehend how it must have felt like to be Addison; to go through such a violation and not have your own mother believe you, to find happiness only to have it ruined by an ass of a husband.

"Oh, Addison. I... I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I didn't know and I... It's going to be okay," he whispered, tears falling freely from his own eyes. He felt like the biggest ass, to have treated her so horribly. But it was more than guilt. He was compelled to be better, as if he saw Addison in a different light, one that didn't always put her on a pedestal, but one that made her human, with a heart. He tightened his embrace, stroking her hair and allowing her to draw strength from him. "It's going to be okay," he repeated, even if he himself wasn't sure it ever would.

In that moment, he couldn't think of anything else other than the fact that his wife was in his arms, opening a window of opportunity for him to be better, to be more attentive and to love her the way she deserved to be loved. He suddenly realized the events that had shaped Addison into the way she was, and that he was part of the reason whatever defenses she had built were crumbling down slowly.

"I'm sorry I never told you," she said through her tears. "I never told anyone and I—"

"Shhh, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter, okay? What matters is that you did now and I can help you move forward."

"Will you help me forget?" she whispered, her voice pleading as she lifted her head from his chest to meet his worried gaze. "Will you?"

He was at a loss for words before he decided that he couldn't lie to her and tell her he could make her forget what had happened. But he knew he could help her heal, to come into terms with it and move forward. "I… can't make you forget Addie. But I promise I'll help you forgive."

She shook her head. "But it's still going to plague me the way it has for the past 20 years of my life," she protested meekly.

"I know, but I'll be here to comfort you, to make you strong."

"You won't always be here," she answered softly, her voice devoid of bitterness but full of hopelessness. "You won't always be here."

"I'll always be here," he affirmed. "Look at me," he said, forcing her to meet his gaze. "I'm sorry for the way I've been treating you, Addie. But I'm not going anywhere. I promise to be better and I promise we're going to make this work out okay?" He needed her to believe him, to recognize the sincerity in his words and to trust him.

She didn't reply, only nodded reluctantly. They had come so far into the mess that it was difficult for her to imagine Derek being the way he was before everything went downhill. But she nodded anyway, if only to reassure herself that all hope wasn't gone for them.

"I promise that one day, you'll be able to play the song again and find the same comfort you once did before," he vowed. "I know you stopped playing it because it hurt, but I promise you that one day you'll play it as beautifully as you did all those years ago." The implications of his words were heavy. To promise Addison that she would be able to play it with eas once again meant that she would be able to heal, to move forward from everything, which was only possible if she had Derek by her side.

Addison looked up, her eyes showing disbelief. "I need you to mean that, Derek. I can't… I can't live with any more disappointments."

"You won't be disappointed, Addie." He led her to the bed and sat her down, taking her hands in his. "Remember the lyrics after Maria goes to hills when she's lonely?"

She nodded, sighing in frustration. "She knows she's going to be able to hear whatever it was that she used to."

"That's right. And it's going to be the same for you. I'll help you. You're going to be the way you were before everything, and I'm going to be the way I was before everything. And we're going to be okay, I swear. We're going to make it."

"And I'll be able to 'sing once more'?"

He nodded, encouraged. "You will, with me. Always with me," he said confidently, holding her closer to him and basking in the bright possibilities that lay ahead of him with the love of his life.

I go to the hills when my heart is lonely.
I know I will hear what I've heard before.
My heart will be blessed with the sound of music,
And I'll sing once more.

I think the last oneshot was better than this one, mainly because I can't quite hit the emotions I want to. Let me know how you think I can improve? Thanks so much for reading!