Sorry for the late update. Real life and all that gets in the way. So I think sense we got into some deep stuff last time this will be a complete comic relief before we get to our ending which is coming up. First some good times so this isn't a completely tragic happy ending. I bet you are all wondering who is getting wasted or dying in this one….the answer….I have no idea 0.0

Vegeta: Quit stalling and tell them you don't own shit!

Me: NO!!!! By the way did I mention that I have no idea how long this one is going to be. It isn't going to continue with more stories, I think I am going to try and tweak out some stories floating in my head but I really think you guys are going to enj-

Vegeta: Shut up and get on with the damn story!

Pan: Am I ever going to appear in ANY of your stories!

Me: I think you just might….

Pan: YIPEE

Vegeta: DAMMIT! KNOCK IT OFF AND SHOW THOSE DAMNED REVIEWERS WHO IS IN CHARGE OF THIS STORY!

Me and Pan:……what are you talking about???

I-Love-Trunks1 AND Fan-to-fiction: oh yes….and the nosiness does not end here kidz. Get ready to wear your helmets and safety gloves cause it's gonna get nasty….

Chapter 12

Bulma came storming through the house. She wore her satin red pajama bottoms with a low cut satin red top to go with it. Her hair was a right mess and her make up not yet on. She had just woken up that morning and saw the Despair sitting on her dresser. She gave a high pitched scream, covering herself in fear of the snake with her blanket.

Vegeta, in his dark green pajama bottoms, shot out of bed to find the danger only to spot his father's snake slithering around and about. He watched his wife angrily pull the blanket off of her and start marching out of the room in an angry, and very clumsy, fashion. He followed close behind her. He had to see this. The first person they ran into happened to be Mirai. Bulma smiled sweetly at him….to sweetly….Mirai raised an eyebrow at his mother knowing she was about to ask something very unpleasant of him.

"Mirai Trunks! I'm so happy to see you this early in the morning." Mirai backed up a couple of steps and looked at his father with a look He just smirked at his son in an evil and twisted way. "Mirai, I need you to do me a big favor," she said pouting her lip a bit."

"Oh…okay," he said nervously trying to back into his room, the only safe place at this moment. Bulma advanced on him slowly. "Honey, baby boy, sweetheart. Could you please do me the teensy weensy favor of getting your grandfather's over grown snake out of my room."

Mirai gave her a blank, long look. He then busted out laughing, holding his sides and slightly bent over. He wiped the tears from his eyes. "Wow," he said, "and I thought Jester's jokes where off the wall. That has to be the most unusual one I have ever heard."

"Mirai," she said seriously now giving him a stoned expression, "I wasn't joking." Mirai's look of amusement suddenly turned to one of fear again. "Okay," he said, "then no."

"What?! What do you mean 'no'?"

"I thought it was pretty strait forward. No." Bulma's expression turned to anger again.

"And what makes you think you get a choice."

"Mom, you sound like dad right now, I think you need to just breath."

"What do you mean she is acting like me, boy," asked Vegeta dangerously.

"What I mean is, I have to get ready to go home. I really don't have the time-"

"Bullshit," called Vegeta.

"All you have to do is pick it up and put it away,' said Bulma backing up her husband, a bit surprised he was taking her side. Then she figured it was that 'your acting like dad' remark. Dumbass.

"Do as your mother says," barked Vegeta.

"Let's see," said Mirai, "how do I put this delicately. No, absolutely not, no way in hell, take your pick."

……………

Mirai stood in the bedroom baring a nice red mark across the face, complements of Vegeta, who apparently didn't appreciate the answer he gave at all. He took a breath, lord he hated snakes. He crept up to the snake and talked to it in a cute innocent voice like you would when talking to a cat or dog.

"Hey, Despair, come on now, come to Trunksy, no don't bite boy…or girl, I really don't know what you are."
"Boy, the snake is not going to come to you, go get it," said Vegeta, monitoring to make sure he would do as he was told. Bulma was downstairs getting breakfast ready.

"I should have gone home when I had the chance last night," he groaned. Vegeta growled impatiently. Mirai took that as a sign that his father's time and patience where wearing very thin. The last thing he needed was to get back handed again for refusing to do as he was told. "Come to think of it, I should have never escaped Hell, it wasn't near this bad."

"It's a damned snake! Who care's just grab it!"

"If it's just a damned snake why don't YOU grab it then!?"

"Are you kidding," shouted Vegeta, "I'm not going near that thing!"

"Why you scared?"

"No, but you are. Besides, snakes are disgusting animals."

"Then what makes you think I want to touch it!"

"I once saw you shove your hand through a mans chest and pull his heart out and your arguing with me about this!? Now hurry up and remove it boy before I loose any more patience." Mirai rolled his eyes which got him a smack right upside the head. Mirai rubbed the offended spot and started slowly toward the snake. He got about two feet before the snake turned it's ugly head and just looked at him. That was it, Mirai's eyes floated to the back of his head and next thing Vegeta knew he went backwards on the floor and was unconscious. Vegeta shook his head, this was the heir to his throne!?

……………..

King Vegeta was cornered, there was no escape. "How was I suppose to know that Despair would get out?"

"Could you just remove it please," said Bulma, "we tried to get Mirai but he fainted." Vegeta came into the kitchen. "How is he," she asked worried.

"He's still unconscious, but he is talking to himself, so somewhere in there someone is conscious."

"That's good," said King, "look, I'll remove Despair alright. Just relax, it's only a snake."

"Yea, a snake twice the size that it should be," shouted Bulma, "and now my poor baby got so scared he fainted. FAINTED!"

King just rolled his eyes and made his way up to his son and daughter in laws bedroom. He opened the door to see the snake slithering up the bed to his grandson's face. King pulled out his iPhone and took a picture of it. He then picked up the snake and took it back to it's tank. He left back to the previous bedroom to see Bulma putting a cold rag on her sons forehead.

"Maybe we should get him to his own bed," suggested Bulma.

"Naw," said Vegeta, "leave him be, he is just fine in our bed, but first." Vegeta pulled out a rubber snake and put it on his future son's chest. Trunks then came barreling in. He had overheard the whole thing and decided he wanted to play as well. He pulled out a sharpy marker and gave it to his dad. Vegeta smiled with pride at his son's crazy antics. He wrote VEGETA WUZ HERE BITCH across his son's forehead and put the towel back on. He then wrote SNAKE BATE on his arm and a picture of a chicken on his other arm.

"You guys," hissed Bulma watching her husband and son humiliate the older Trunks, "stop it. He doesn't need to wake up with all of that on him. That's enough." The two looked at Bulma with a depressed expression. King Vegeta, who had been snickering at the scene turned to leave. Vegeta and Trunks followed after trying not to burst out laughing. Bulma scowled at the three saiyans then looked at her son sympatheticly. She grabbed the marker and put polka dots all over his face. She smiled down at him with endless love and took out her LG Shine and took pictures.

She snickered herself and left. The other three where still standing in the hall looking at her in shock as they witnessed the attack on the unconscious teenager. "What," she whispered, "I can't have any fun myself?"

……………………………..

The four offenders watched as Mirai came running into the kitchen. "You guys," he said, "I just totally remembered! It's Gohan's wedding today!"

"Oh shit," cursed Bulma, "I completely forgot about that!" Mirai ran into the laundry room to grab his button up white shirt and black tie. Bulma, Vegeta, Trunks, and King Vegeta watched him run back upstares.

"Be honest," said Vegeta, "did you really forget?"

"Yes," said Bulma, "if I remembered I would not have put spots all over his face!"

"I still would have wrote that on his forehead," said Vegeta with an evil smirk. Bulma shoved him.

"You're so mean!"

"He will get over it," said King Vegeta.

"It's not Mirai I'm worried about it's Gohan and Videl. This is there wedding!"

"Should we tell him that you guys wrote on his face," asked Trunks.

"No," said King Vegeta.

"Yea, I'm with King on this one," said Bulma, "this will be to funny." Vegeta busted out laughing, which was rare for him. Trunks just shook his head and got up to get ready. His family was so twisted sometimes.

………………………………….

MIrai looked around anxiously, everyone was giggling at him, why? His father had a big grin on his face, very uncharacteristic of him, Bulma avoided eye contact, unusual. King kept looking his direction, not right. Trunks just didn't want to be seen with him all together, kind of hurtful. Something was going on he could tell.

Bulma saw Chichi head their way and ran up to meet up with her before she got there. "Chichi," she whispered, "listen, we had some mishap this morning, just don't stare at Mirai and don't laugh."

"Why, what is going on," she asked a bit worried.

"Just, don't act like anything is wrong," said Bulma pulling her over to the group. Chichi took one look at him and had to fight back a huge laugh. Although this was insulting to her son's wedding day, THE most important day of his LIFE, it was funny. Mirai saw this and was getting fed up with it.

"What," he snapped.

"Nothing," she said, trying to seem unnoticeable. She took Bulma by the arm and led her away from the group, "thank you for coming," she said, not turning around to look back. When they where out of ear shot she busted out laughing.

"Bulma," she said between giggles, "what have you guys done to him."

"It wasn't my idea," she said, "I was going to leave him be, Vegeta started it."

"Yes, I can see that. We need to warn Gohan and Videl before they see this."

………………………

Cell walked up to Mirai dressed awkwardly in a suit. "How did you get an invite," asked Mirai shocked to see him.

"Oh, you know, Chichi wanted EVERYONE to attend, Piccolo is even hear. Dude, did you hit that pipe before you got here and pass out."

"No, why," he asked.

"Nothing," he said trying not to smile, "just curious."

"Everyone is staring at me," he said nervously.

"No they aren't," lied Cell, even though everyone was literally staring at him.

"What!? Everyone is looking at me!"

"You're being paranoid."

"No, Cell, seriously, I think everyone is looking at me," his voice began to get louder.

"Always have to be right, don't you Mirai," said Cell. He stalked off leaving Mirai to his correct suspicions. Mirai, to Cells displeasure, followed. Cell didn't want to look like the one who brought the asshole to the wedding. "Hey Cell, I'm headed home after this. Just wanted you to know that you will probably end up dying before or after I leave."

"How is that any different from usual," he asked casually.

"What do you mean?" Cell gave a deep sigh, hiding his face from people walking by staring at the two.

"Trunks," he said seriously, "I'm the villain, I always die."

"So, hey you should come with me!" Cell stopped. Normally he would have been all over that. He actually liked Mirai after spending some time with him, he wans't a bad guy, he was actually a pretty cool guy to keep around. But today he came to the wedding with VEGETA WUZ HERE BITCH written across his polka dot face.

"Let's talk about it after the wedding and after you realize," he responded.

"Realize what," asked Mirai stopping.

"Nothing," said Cell quickly, "now if you don't mind I need to go somewhere that isn't next to you at this moment." He turned and ran in the other direction to find someone other then Mirai to talk to.

Mirai growled, this just wasn't his day, what was wrong with everyone. He caught sight of his father again and stalked over to him. Vegeta and Goku where talking at the buffet (did you expect them anywhere else?).

"I think something is so wrong," said Mirai. Goku turned around to say 'hi', but when he caught sight of Miria he almost choked on his food.

"Oh….um….hi Mirai, you okay there?"

'Yes, I'm fine," he said, "what is wrong with everyone, why are they all looking at me?"

"Looking at you," asked Goku, "why would they be looking at you?" Vegeta nudged Goku who nudged him back. Mirai felt a warm hand fall on his shoulder. He turned around to see Videl. She looked shocked when she looked at him. Behind Mirai, Vegeta and Goku where signaling her not to stare and not tell him. Mirai quickly turned around and Vegeta and Goku acted as if nothing happened and smiled innocently. Videl looked at them and mouthed 'what happened to his face'. Mirai spun back around and she waved at him.

Vegeta mouthed the words 'tell you in a bit'. "Thank you for sticking around long enough to attend the wedding," said Videl, trying not to look at him. Mirai's eyes narrowed. He stalked off. The three watched him go.

"You two know he looks like the biggest moron here," said Videl.

"Yea," said Vegeta with a smile, "he really does, doesn't he?"

………………………….

Videl walked up the isle. Everyone turned around to look at the beautiful, blushing, bride who looked like she was trying to hold back her laughter. Gohan had asked that Piccolo be the best man and for Mirai to stand next to him. Piccolo was starting to feel that this was NOT such a great idea. Mirai stood there with a hateful look eyeing everyone in the room. They knew something, they knew something and they refused to tell. The last time something like this happened he found out about the infamous rumor going on. He wondered if that was the case. His dark blue eyes casted over at the troublesome duo, Goten and Trunks, who tried to look at anything but him. Next to them was Chichi and Bardock who would not stop looking at him.

"What happened to them," he asked.

"Apparently, he was told to get rid of this snake and passed out. Vegeta and Bulma drew on him."

"No kidding," said Bardock, who looked at Chichi's other side and saw Goku, trying to hid his smile, and Vegeta who had stomped on his foot to remind him of where he was. "Where did the snake come from?"

"King brought him home yesterday. There was a huge fight between Mirai and Vegeta, Mirai decided he was going to go back home, I heard a rumor going around recently that he is bringing Cell back with him, Vegeta pushed him into it I guess."

"Why would he do that?"

"Something about him being homesick."

"Kakarott told me that Bulma told him that it was the whole reason Cell wasn't destroyed, being homesick and all that." Chichi smiled at her new PIC. He was catching on, he was catching on quick. She figured that the two would become fast friends, and oh how they did.

"Well Videl's friend Erasa told me that Chichi told Videl that Mirai has really been trying on Vegeta's patience an aweful lot sense then," said Bardock, not realizing just how badly Chichi was influencing him. But he had to admit, this nosy gossip business gave him a rush..

"Yea, that's what Bulma was telling me. Said that the whole reason Vegeta pushed for Mirai to get the snake was because Mirai was on his last nerve. I also heard Vegeta tell Goku that Mirai was very phobic over snakes. I heard he freaked out when he saw a rubber snake on his chest."

'Why was there a snake on him?"

"Not really sure, we need to scope for answers at the after party though," said Chichi.

"Good thinking. I say we hit Bulma first and then spread it to Erasa, the girl can't really keep a secret."

"I like your thinking Bardock."

Goku watched his father and wife whispering. "Vegeta," he said nervously, "I think my father is in league with my wife."

"What makes you say that," he asked gruffly.

"Well, they talk an awful lot and I saw them both following Gohan and Videl while they where wear out picking out food for the catering."

"They where following them?"

"Yea, then started talking about grandbabies together. I also heard my wife tell my dad that they should get them drunk at the ceremony so Gohan would forget to use a condom."

"I heard Bulma telling me that she saw Gohan and Videl looking for invitation designs saying that she saw your harpy wife and moron father with a pair of binoculars watching them."

"I think a new kind of evil has been unleashed Vegeta, seriously, they are devious."

"Keep it together Kakarott, don't let them smell your fear, they can smell it, and they will demand answers for it. Do not subject yourself!"

"I know Vegeta, but I can't shake this horrible feeling. It's scary being in the same room as them. I think they have been spying on me to. They smell the fear Vegeta. THEY SMELL IT ON ME!"

All eyes casted from Mirai (and Videl of course) and shot in Goku and Vegeta's direction. Vegeta slumped down in his seat and turned bright pink with embarrassment. Goku realized this and made himself seem small as well.

"What is he talking about," asked King Vegeta.

"I don't know but I'm getting as many pictures of Mirai as I can," said Ox King, "this is to good to pass up."

"Shouldn't you be taking pictures of Videl?"

"Oh…yea, forgot."

…………………….

Mirai was loosing his nerve. The reception was a circus. When the preacher asked if there where any objections, someone randomly stood u and said "I OBJECT TO THE GUY STANDING NEXT TO THE BEST….MAN….THING!" Mirai was horrified to say the least. He turned around and left. His mother swiftly followed to insure him that it was just some guy being obnoxious. Mirai was not totally convinced.

He was so upset that he snuck a bottle of champagne, seeing as how he wans't really old enough to drink, and decided to drink a lot. After emptying the bottle as quick as he can he returned to the party feeling pretty good.

He jumped behind his father and slung his arm around his shoulder. "You know something," he said lazily, "I think you are all up to something. You have done nothing but freak and humiliate on me sense I got here. I object to that. That actually reminds me." Mirai let go of his horrified father and stalked over to the man who shouted out his objection and punched him square in the face.

"What the hell you drunk idiot," the guy shouted.

"Hell? Hell!?" Mirai swayed a bit trying not to fall over, "You don't know what Hell is! It's a place! HA! Now you know,' he said lazily pointing his finger at the guy on the ground nursing a busted nose.

"And now Gohan, some of your closest friends have asked to say something in honor of your wedding," said Chichi, "and because I'm important I will start. Gohan, Videl, you are going on a long and exciting journey together. Please, be happy, make me grandbabies, and if you get a divorce, I'll kill you both." Everyone nervously clapped.

Krillin stood up to the stage. "I have decided to sing my congrats you to." He adjusted the microphone and music started to play. "L is for the way you look at me-" he was immediately booed off the stage and people threw rocks at him. He ducked for cover and ran for his life.

Yamcha stood up next, "Hey, just wanted to say that, even though it is depressing that you got married before I did, I'm sure Kami is smiling on you, damn dirty apes," he whispered that last part and trudged off the stage. One guy clapped for him then got punched in the face, ironically it was Mirai punching the same guy from earlier. Goku was the next to step up.

"Hey, Gohan, Videl, congrats guys and please, make babies, or Chichi will blame me." A loud screech from Chichi and he was chased off the stage by the frying pan of doooooom. "You stole my speech your damn dirty ape," she screamed. Piccolo was next.

"Um…yea….good job Gohan, no go tap dat ass, or whatever." He blushed and trudged off the stage after several guys shouted 'YEA' and whistled and 'WOOO' his direction. Sharpener gave Piccolo the 10 bucks he said he would if Piccolo said that then took his place on stage.

"Gohan, buddy, good job, but did you seriously have to take MY girlfriend!!!!" Gohan rubbed his temples, he would be so happy when it all ended, he just wanted to get threw the rest of the day. Then to his horror, as Erasa was going to get on stage, Mirai shoved her out of his way and took the stage.

"Hey, everyone in the house! Can I get a woop woop!" A few spirited people chanted woop woop after him. "Yea! Alright, Gohan, that's you right? You're the one who was married?"

Gohan got up and walked over to Vegeta, "Hey," he snapped, "has he been drinking!"

"It would appear that way," he said crossing his arms not really amused by his sons sudden outgoingness.

"I thought you said you would keep him from drinking. You know what he is like when he drinks."

"What, am I his keeper now or something?"

"Yes, that is exactly what you are. You're his father for kami's sake!"

"Okay," continued Mirai, "so as you all know I knew Gohan back in the day. I tell you what he was a cute kid. Kind of ugly now, but a cute kid. I remember this one time his mom bitched at him because he would rather save the world then do his homework. Like school is so much more important then world peace. But, Chichi, it's okay cause we have all grown to expect that."

Chichi grew furious. She tore her way down the crowd to find Bulma just as angry as her. "I can't believe he just said that," she snapped.

"Chichi, I am so sorry."

"Why, you didn't say it he did! Get your son off the stage."

"You know something," said Mirai, "she is kinda cute looking herself. Not really the prettiest thing on the planet and just a little scary all the time." The crowd that didn't really know Chichi laughed a bit. "But Goku is also a real idiot. Bad genes my friend. Take my advice and don't have anymore kids. The last thing this world needs is more Goku/Chichi's walking around. It's bad enough that most of California is populated with them, specially on the high way." Vegeta had wine coming out of his nose at the expression, on second thought, his son was kind of funny right now. He felt Bulma slap him on the arm hard enough to actually sting a little.

"Wow," said Mirai, "and to think you lived in the woods with Piccolo when you where so young. You know, I'm shocked you didn't turn green and grow alien antennas yourself." Now Piccolo was growing angry, "but I guess it is expected that some of Piccolo's boring qualities rubbed off on you huh. I tell you what though, regardless of it all you picked a gorgeous wife. My god look at that rack! I just wanna vacation in there! Kami Damned, Gohan, you couldn't have done any better. Well, she has a nice face to and I'm sure deep down she had a great personality." The unoffended crowd continued to laugh at the jackass with sharpie on his face.

Vegeta decided that it was quite enough and climbed up to the stage. "Come on Trunks," he said firmly, "time to come back down."

"No," objected Mirai in the microphone, "I just started. This is my father, ladies and gentlemen. We had a huge fight last night and this morning. I tell you what, this mother fucker hits really hard. No mercy."

"Come on Trunks, give me the microphone."

"NO, I told you no already. I tell you what he wouldn't know what 'no' meant if it bit him. You know this snake got out this morning."

"Trunks stop it, I'm taking you home and you are going to bed now."

"Ooo, I'm going to bed now! You know the last time he said that I woke up the next morning and found out that I made a reeeeeaaaallll ass out of myself the night before. I was dancing around with a lamp shade on my head and my shirt on backwards. Woke up the next morning with a pounding head ache, forgot the whole thing, I swear! Found out I was singing karaoke that night. Song of choice was Hopelessly Devoted to You from that one movie Grease." Miria slunk his arm around his father again pulling him into the spot light.

"This son of a bitch, however, I slipped him an ecstasy pill. We found him the next morning in the middle of nowhere having a conversation with a cactus. I swear I have never seen him so interested in what someone was saying. They say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree but I don't think anyone could fall any further then I did." Vegeta was not forcing the mike out of his hands and pulling him off stage. Mirai was not going down with a fight though.

"Hey, hey, hey, can't we all just get along!" He then started busting out in song, "why can't we be friends! Why can't we be friends! Why can't we be friends." He giggled himself silly. Vegeta was still trying to shove him off the stage with no avail.

"You, you over there! The one who insulted me! You are so ugly your mom threw bricks at the hospital you where born at!"

"Fuck you," came the distant voice of broken nose man. Mirai picked up the mike and looked at him.

"When, where and how hard baby!" Vegeta finally gave up and just knocked him out. As Vegeta drug him off stage the crowed was going whiled. They gave a rounding applause to Mirai for the entertainment and Vegeta for shutting him up. Vegeta slung his son over his shoulder and carried him out. Bulma grabbed Trunks and followed apologizing to her friends. On the way out. They made it to the parking lot when Mirai let out a miserable moan. Vegeta stopped and dropped him on the ground. Mirai just lay there staring up at the stars giggling to himself still.

"I'll be home later," said Vegeta to Bulma, "take the boy and go on home." Bulma just nodded and pulled Trunks away to take him home. Vegeta looked down at his older son. "What is wrong with you," he shouted.

"Me," he asked still waisted, "me? What's wrong with me? I think the question you should ask is what is wrong with me!"

"God it's useless trying to talk to you sober and drunk!"

'I'm not drunk, sober, srubker!"

"What?"

"Exactly!" He rolled over and caught his reflection in a puddle of water in the parking lot. He looked closer. He started to point and laugh. "That poor guy has writing on his face. Man I would be pissed off if I was him."

"You are him. We wrote on your face when you fainted and you didn't notice."

"Why would you do that," asked Mirai sadly.

"I don't know we forgot about the wedding and it seemed like a good idea at the time."

"That's what she said."

"Who?"

"YOUR MOM!" Mirai cracked up laughing. Vegeta just rubbed his temples.