Sunnydale, California, 2003:
Raphael overlooked the giant crater that was once Sunnydale. He was devastated upon hearing the news of Anya's death. Seeing her final resting place made matters worse. He paid his respects and then teleported away to his apartment in San Francisco.
Once again, he could hear the cable cars outside, the bustling traffic and quick steps of people. It was just the first year anniversary, but it felt like yesterday. Raphael sat in his chair, exhausted. He relocated to San Francisco to be near his family member, Imelda.
Raphael felt a stirring in his apartment. He knew at once who it was.
"Did you go see her grave?"
"Yes, I did. Are you going to chastise me?" asked Raphael. He turned to see Gregor emerging from the shadows.
Gregor looked the same as always. He had razor-sharp barbs that protruded from his skin. His eyes—irises included—were a fluorescent blue. They matched Raphael's when Raphael was in his demon form.
"What makes you think I have a problem?" asked Gregor, sitting in a chair opposite of Raphael.
"Because you didn't want me to go to Sunnydale," said Raphael, his eyes intent on Gregor's gaze. "You were so adamant about it that you stormed off when I didn't cooperate."
"I just don't understand why you acknowledge her, Raphael. She was responsible for Halfrek's death. She even destroyed Veeya, who she had a history with…."
Raphael shook his head in annoyance.
"Face it, Raphael, Anya was a traitor to her kind."
"Anya was not a traitor, Gregor. It wasn't her fault that she became human."
"But she chose to go back. She would've sacrificed anyone for her human life. Probably even you."
"What difference does it make, all right? Anya was my friend and mentor. She initiated me into demonhood. Why can't you understand that?"
"Because I care for you, that's why," said Gregor, as he grabs Raphael's hand, "You've been distant with me for a while now. I don't want to lose you."
Gregor's hands were the only body parts that weren't dangerous or razor-sharp. Yet, Raphael drew his hand away as though they were.
"Stop doing that," said Raphael.
"Why?" asked Gregor.
"Because..we ended what we had a long time ago," said Raphael.
Raphael could see the hurt in Gregor's eyes, as he removed his hand.
"I appreciate that you're here for me," said Raphael, "I just don't want you to get the wrong impression."
The both of them stayed silent.
"You probably don't want me here…"
"Gregor, please I…."
"No, I wanted to tell you something else," said Gregor, "In two days, I will have fulfilled my contract. I'm being given back my human form again."
"So, you won't be in servitude anymore?"
"It's just my body, Raphael. I'll still be a demon. To be honest with you, I had a choice," said Gregor.
"Why choose a human form? I thought you didn't like humans," said Raphael.
"It matters to me only because maybe then you'll accept me in your heart," said Gregor.
"You know, Gregor, your physical form never mattered to me," said Raphael, "It was always the man you are."
"Then why can't we be together?" asked Gregor.
"Because…there's just too much pain…" said Raphael.
"I understand," said Gregor, "It was what those men did to you."
"D'Hoffryn doesn't want me to forget it," said Raphael, "It is the very source that fuels my rage and vengeance."
"Am I interrupting anything?" Speak of the devil, thought Raphael.
Raphael and Gregor turned to see D'Hoffryn standing near the doorway.
"No, not at all," said Gregor. "I was just about to leave."
"Impeccable timing," said D'Hoffryn, "Raphael and I need to talk."
"I will see you later, then?" said Gregor.
"Yes, later," said Raphael.
Gregor nodded to D'Hoffryn, and disappeared into the shadows.
"I wish you would've told me you'd visit," said Raphael, "I would've made sure he wasn't here."
"Raphael, you know I've never much cared for Gregor," said D'Hoffryn, "I just don't think he's suitable for you. Vengeance demons should stick to their own kind—lest the very reason for their existence be erased."
"Gregor and I are no longer involved. He was just visiting me in my time of grief," said Raphael.
"Oh, yes, Anyanka. Has it been over a year already?" asked D'Hoffryn. "I stopped keeping tabs on her when I was forced to slay Halfrek. It was painful to me when Anyanka shirked off her duties."
"Not to give Anyanka any excuses, but she did live a full human life before she decided to resume her demon form," said Raphael.
D'Hoffyn raised his arm and telepathically pinned Raphael against the wall.
"Foolish demon. Do you not remember that Anyanka was human originally? And a selfish, petty human at that. She willingly sought vengeance and fulfilled her calling with each deliverance of sweet vengeance that she gave."
"You've made your point," said Raphael. "Will you release me now?"
D'Hoffyn looked inquisitively at Raphael before letting him go.
"My point is that Anyanka forgot who she was by associating with the wrong individuals," said D'Hoffryn. "Which brings me to you…end your relationship with Gregor or there will be consequences."
"You're just my employer," said Raphael.
"Employer and keeper of your existence. I could flay you right here and now. But I'm not warning you because of my personal biases," said D'Hoffryn, "Something is coming, and Gregor will be an inconvenience…as well as you're relative."
Raphael tried to remain aloof.
"I don't know what you're referring to."
"Please, Raphael. Anyanka might've found your corpse, but I was the power that created you. I know when you're lying to me like a father knows about his son," said D'Hoffryn.
"Fine, then you know," said Raphael, looking cautiously at D'Hoffryn.
"I probably should flay the skin off your bones," said D'Hoffryn, the menace evident in his voice. "However, you have served me well, so I will overlook these indiscretions."
"Whatever you wish, D'Hoffryn," said Raphael.
"Good, that's what I like to hear," said D'Hoffryn, "Don't worry. You'll meet somebody else."
D'Hoffryn vanished, and Raphael was left alone in his grief. He remembered his last encounter with Anyanka.
Sunnydale, California, 2002:
"Did D'Hoffryn send you?" asked Anya.
"I came of my own accord," said Raphael. "Tell me, Anyanka. Has the guilt set in yet?" asked Raphael, his fluorescent blue eyes burrowing into Anya.
He found her sitting alone in a stairwell. The rain set in, and she was soaked by the rain. Raphael used his powers to ward off the water. Despite the pitifulness that Anya wore on her face and body language, Raphael remained steadfast in his words.
"Why would you ask me such a question, Raphael," said Anya, "I didn't know that he would harm Halfrek…." She breaks down into tears.
"But you knew a vengeance demon would die," retorted Raphael.
"Yes, you ignoramus, meaning myself," replied Anya, tartly.
Raphael used his demonic abilities to detect any inflections. After the register, he knew that Anya was speaking the truth. She really did expect D'Hoffryn to destroy her.
"What is going on with you?" asked Raphael, as his face shifted to his human visage. "Giving vengeance was never difficult for you before. What changed?"
"I don't know. I guess…being human…it just changes you so much. I just couldn't do it anymore," responded Anya.
"And yet somebody else suffers the consequences," said Raphael.
"I don't need you to judge me. I was willing to own up to my mistakes. I wasn't looking for somebody else to take my place" replied Anya.
"Was it because of that boy you fell for, or his friends—the witch and the Slayer?" asked Raphael.
"How about 'all of the above?'" said Anya.
They both remained in silence.
"Why can't it be simple for us, Raphael? We both ended up here because bad things happened to us, and we just couldn't let it go. We didn't seek help the right way. Instead, we looked for ways to punish and torment anybody who made people suffer like us" said Anya.
"Isn't that what we wanted?" asked Raphael, "The power to make the twisted and perverted feel just as helpless as their victims?"
"You don't understand. It just doesn't work that way," said Anya, "It's not that black and white."
"It is to me," said Raphael, "I have no doubts about what I'm on this earth to do."
Anya puts both her hands on Raphael's face. They both make eye contact for a second.
"Look at you. You look so beautiful in your human form. You're just a boy. It was never simple choices for us. I'm going to try to start over. But I wish you could have a new life, and start from scratch," said Anya.
"I don't need that Anya," Raphael's eyes flashed a fluorescent blue, as his skin becomes parched again. "I'm fine the way I am."
"I'm glad," said Anya. "I wish I could say the same thing about my decisions. But I have to live with them."
Anya stood up to walk away. She hugged herself in a lame attempt to keep warm.
"What will you do, Anyanka?" asked Raphael.
"I'm going to sleep tonight, wake up tomorrow, and be the ever conflicted but quirky 'Anya Christina Emmanuella Jenkins'" replied Anya over her shoulder. "Goodbye, Raphael."
Raphael watched Anya as her quivering form disappeared in the night rain.
Her words did not resonate with Raphael until the incident that happened with Imelda. Suddenly the personal mattered again, and Raphael was left questioning his entire existence. It was against the rules to associate with a family member. But when that family member was so desperate for justice, why should Raphael deny it because the person was related to him? Or better yet, related to his past self? Raphael seized to be Ignacio Rafael Flores a long time ago. Still, there was something comforting about having roots and being a part of something again. Even if his past family members turned their back on him.
Raphael could also be a part of something else with Gregor. But he knew that D'Hoffryn was speaking the truth. Not the part that demons shouldn't go outside of their species. The other part that Raphael was created by D'Hoffryn's power. If he kept trying D'Hoffryn's patience, it would lead to dire consequences. He also had to consider D'Hoffryn's foreshadowing that something was coming.
Either way, Raphael was finding that he was just as conflicted as Anya once was. For it was the second year anniversary that Anyanka ceased to be Anyanka. Would there come a day that Raphael would cease to be a demon as well?