"How am I supposed to breathe in this thing, Aeris?" I grumbled, placing a supporting hand against my breast as she laced the cotton, spinal corset tightly. It felt like all the air that was intended for my lungs was now filling my head. Bringing a whole new meaning to the term 'light-headed'.
"Sorry, Danny," Aeris smiled sheepishly, "It's the design. You need to breathe through your nose and make sure it's your diaphragm that moves, not your chest."
"Uh…sure?" I was so confused. What on earth could stop my chest from moving when I breathe? Lungs push against it for a reason.
"Here, let me show you…"
After my 'breathing lesson', Aeris tied the remaining straps, popping my spine into a straighter alignment than it has ever been before. Crimson satin brushed over my head and cascaded down my body. The cream lace lined along the collar and sleeves, showing how pale I had grown over the past few days. What I wouldn't give to have just a few short moments under the gleaming sunlight…
A couple hours ago, Aeris had flown through my door, flustered and muttering that I needed to set aside my cloth and hast. First I had had to bathe. Aeris led me to a lone washing chamber, down the hall, that I had discovered amongst my cleaning not too long ago.
I was doused in vanilla body mist and scrubbed thoroughly. I never thought I would ever again take pleasure in the feeling of being freshly bathed. I had had to rely souly on the provided repellent in my bedroom dresser.
Following the bath, I was robed and masked with powder and lip paint. The paint felt oddly pleasant against my lips, the glossy feel reminded me of strawberry juice. Also, although the powder felt heavy, it looked very natural considering the creamy tones it blended onto my skin. I was doll-like.
A porcelain doll. I had many while growing up. The pretty dresses they wore enchanted my imagination of some day being graced with my own when I grew older. Of course…imagination has a tendency to get your hopes up, just to have them trampled on when you open your eyes to reality again.
"Aeris? I lightly spoke.
"Mmm?" she mumbled past the hair pins in her mouth as she fashioned my hair into a ringlet bun.
"Um…why is it of importance that I should dress like...this?" I gestured to my ornament appearance.
I watched in the mirror as Aeris' eyes twinkled in the twilight streaming through the window. "The little master wishes for you to attend dinner this evening," she caught my eye and smiled, "with him."
I blushed, staring away. "B-but, I have never had the need for dressing like this before. Why now?"
Her swift fingers dropped from my hair, "Do you trust me, Danella?"
I was surprised by her question to say the very least, "O-Of course I do."
She nodded, "Then trust me now when I say I am doing this for a reason."
I stared back into her eyes, they still held her initial excitement and cunning, but there was something else that hid deep beneath her gaze.
Trust - no questions asked.
"…Okay."
"And trust me when I say; you'll thank me someday, Danny." Aeris went back to musing over my form whilst I pondered. Why would dressing me so formally be of so much importance on this particular night? Did Sora have guests he wished not to disgrace with my muddled appearance?
My heart sank into the very pit of my stomach. Aeris had done a marvelous job of prepping me to fit the graces of this crimson dress. He would be pleased.
"Come now," Aeris said as she clutched my wrist, drawing me out the door and on our way to the dining room. Biting my lip, I could feel my hands quaking with nerves. Yet I had no set reason why they were in that state.
I felt like a child as Aeris shoved me into the guest chair of the dining table. It was the only other chair arranged apart from the master's. It did not take a brilliant intellect to deduce that I was not dressed to impress any guests. She pushed my chair forward and closer to Sora's, where - should he have been sitting upon it - our toes would have met.
"Aeris," my voice shook with unease.
Her lighthearted smile was her only reply as she dashed into the kitchen to plate tonight's meal.
Definitely not here to impress guests. Definitely not. Definitely not here to impress guests! my subconscious screamed.
Aeris would have killed me if she could see the way I was picking and nibbling at my shaped and polished nails. A nervous habit that I always found hard to desert. I was gnawing my bottom lip off by the time Sora finally entered the room. Oh - I did not hear the door groan open. No.
I sensed him enter.
Sora always brought upon his person a restless air. He made the very room hold its breath, waiting for his next antagonizing step like that of a chessboard game. My nerves smoldered the blood beneath the skin of my cheekbones as I fastened my hands to my lap. My wandering eye could not help but notice when Sora paused behind his chair.
He leisurely lifted his rough fingers to sweep against the skin of his knuckles. The ones I had so delicately cleaned no more than a week ago. His face was wistfully vacant as he stared downward, never seeing past the end of his nose. Were his knuckles troubling him?
"I trust," Sora cleared his throat, dropping his hands down by his sides stiffly, "that the last quarters are cleaned to standard."
He was hauling himself away from his thoughts, distracting himself as he was me.
"Yes, sir." I cast my eyes away, not wishing to anger him with my stare.
"Good."
The air was charged between us with unspoken words. I had so many things I wished to bring to ear, but was afraid to do so. What if I stumbled across the questions he did not wish to answer? What if he were to punish me for my incompetence and questions? I could never stand to face him should he choose to do so.
A shiver ran up my spine. How one could never notice when a pair of eyes are burrowing into you, I do not know. For at that moment, I had no doubt that Sora was glancing my way. My heart throbbed under his scrutiny – he was paying far too much attention to me.
Then something clicked within. Could this have been the reason why Aeris wished for me to dress this way? Could she have anticipated this reaction from Sora?
Is…Is this a positive reaction?
I brushed a stray ringlet behind my ear with a quivering hand. Why would I have given thanks to Aeris for this…?
"I see you've chosen to adorn yourself with one of the more…quaint gowns." Sora's voice was calm and heavy, but some hidden emotion rattled the frame of his steady words.
Did he not wish me to wear this dress? I could understand if he did not – Oh, Aeris, what have you done?
"It suits you."
The organ beneath my breast stuttered. I could not have heard him right. However, he continued - never missing a beat in his words.
"It is more agreeable than the others you have chosen in the past." I stared at him, completely lost. He thought me worthy of this beautiful dress? My jaw slacked.
Sora raised a brow at me in question. He looked like he found his words to be nothing out of the norm.
I finally got past the cluster in my throat to speak, "Thank you."
He shrugged it off as he picked up his fork and musingly started twisting it between his thumb and forefinger. The familiar streak of crimson colouring his cheek. Okay, maybe I did have a reason to thank Aeris.
My own blush was back in full vigor from that moment onwards. Taking into consideration that he had scrutinized my own appearance, I felt it only fit that I should be allowed to do so upon him as well.
Staring out the corner of my eye, I saw the leather turtleneck collar of his teal button-up shirt fastened to settle just below the apex of his throat. A fine choice in order to hide the faint scars running down his neck. The long sleeves modestly revealing a silver of his tanned wrists while his coarse hands were left bare. The material clung appreciatively to the muscles of his arms and chest. From what I could make out, he was lean and toned. Not skeletal enough to be considered scrawny, yet neither bulging enough to be considered thickset.
The width of Sora's jaw was just as marveled as his torso. With the tense way it was strung, it was hard not to see the strength in his face and neck. And…the mouth. The bottom lip - so plump and full - balanced his mouth perfectly. Pale and smooth. So alluring…
It wasn't until the blood started to prickle beneath the surface of my bottom lip did I realize that I had been all but biting it off as I admired Sora's mouth.
Wa-wait! Admired?
I had to fight the urge to bury my face deep within the cup of my palms.
"Excuse me, sir." Pinching the corners of my gown's skirt, I curtsied before rushing through the kitchen door – only to tumble over a crouching bundle as I went. I squealed as I landed on the flat bone of my rear-end.
I fumbled to fix the skirt that was hitched high above my knees as I looked back to see what…or rather, whom I had tripped over in my flight for the kitchen.
"Ow, jeez!"
Axel was cradling his spiky head in his hands as he lay by the creaking door.
"I told you, Axel," Aeris said in a hushed tone. I noticed her for the first time as she hovered sheepishly not too far behind the hatter's crouched form. "Not to lay yourself right by the door if you wished to remain unscathed and undiscovered."
"Well," Axel said grudgingly, "I didn't anticipate that Danny would appear rushing through the door now did I? She was talking to Sora not three seconds before."
"And it was your blunder that led to your current headache."
He groaned, petting his knotty mass of hair.
"Y-You were listening to us?" I bit my lip as I stared upon them both with wide eyes.
Aeris smiled and rushed over to help assemble me to my feet. "I sought to make sure things were going well, Danny. You could not expect me to stand by without the knowledge that I did my duty satisfactorily."
Her beaming green eyes focused upon my hair before she commenced to tug and pull at it. My little fall must have muddled its pinned form.
"Then why was Axel listening in as well?" I asked, truly curious as he pulled himself up straight, dusting his jacket and knees.
He cleared his throat, scratching the back of his head as his cheeks flushed. "Just checking up on the little guy."
"Why?" I frowned.
"No particular reason."
I huffed in mild surrender. The inhabitants of this household were hard shells to splinter. If everyone was as stubborn and hard-headed as Axel is, then there would be no chance in the world that I would get any answers to the multiplying stampede of questions packing within my mind.
"Aeris – I came in here to-" I raised a brow as she placed a finger to my mouth, cutting of my gratitude.
"No need for that, Danny," she said, the smile glowing deep within her eyes, "I already know. You're very welcome."
I chuckled lightly - of course she knew.
"And, here," she turned, scooped up a red rose that had been reclining across the bench, and slid it into the bun of my hair ", to accent that pretty face of yours, dear."
I stared, lips parted in gratified awe of the woman before me. So motherly and caring, she was doing so much for me. But…I could not help but wonder why.
"Thank you – again, Aeris." I quickly added as I embraced her, shaking in her arms as she heartedly laughed.
"It's only the beginning," she whispered in my ear.
I turned to frown at her in question but was grasped round the waist by the redheaded hatter. "Now get out there." Axel said, dragging me towards the door, "You don't want to leave him alone for too long now."
I grimaced at the mischievous twinkle in his eye. This was getting more and more unnerving by the minute.
Stumbling back into my seat, Sora looked at me as if he were waiting for an explanation but was far too reluctant to ask for one.
I decided to fulfill his curiosity with something that would settle his mind, "Dinner will be ready in-"
I didn't need to finish; for Aeris glided through the door, balancing two plates of tonight's meal in her hands. I saw Axel gawking out the gap in the kitchen doorway, nibbling his bottom lip as he stared intently upon Sora. Strange young man.
"Tonight, I made you both a Fettuccine Alfredo pasta dish, for which will then be followed by my favourite dish," she said while she slipped the bowls onto our placemats.
A glisten of light danced within his eyes for a mere moment as he gazed upon her before it disappeared. I wonder if it was ever there to begin with...
"Paopu fruit ice-cream with apple crumble pie?" Sora asked, his voice serious as the cold stone of his stare. It sounded absolutely delectable. Apple crumble – I remembered it well. One of my favourite desserts. Aeris nodded reassuringly towards him, sweetly smiling despite his distant tone. She truly had a kind soul.
"Thank you, Aeris." He nodded before rolling a strip of pasta around his fork.
Aeris whispered by me on her way to the door, "Don't give up on him, Danny."
I was not sure what she meant by her words, but the dinner continued without any slipups on my part. Every now and then I would be coaxed into conversation concerning seemingly meaningless subjects: Whether or not the guestroom was satisfactorily set for my needs; if the gowns fit me correctly; and whether I found the cleaning utensils affective or not. Meaningless subjects to be sure, there was no way that Sora could be truly interested in such things.
As the pasta dishes were taken away and replaced with dessert, I noticed the deep frown etched in Sora's brow. He seemed…angry. Had I not given him satisfactory answers to his questions? I had to bite back the call for his hypocritical attitude. I never got satisfactory answers. I just received more and more questions.
"The stables," I started as his voice croaked, "they will need to be cleaned. As well, the horses need to be groomed."
Oh, another duty. "Sir, I have never groomed horses before. I fear I would not know what to do."
He pitched his chin between his thumb and forefinger, eyes tightly clamped shut as he released a frustrated sigh. "Axel will assist you then!" he snapped. I cowered deeper into my chair. "I will inspect the stables tomorrow afternoon; expecting to see everything completed."
"Y-Yes, sir." I said brokenly as I looked down upon my bowl of finished dessert. I had angered him again. I could not do anything right.
"Excuse me, sir. Thank you…for allowing me to dine with you tonight…and goodnight." I tried to keep my voice steady and free of my self-loathing, however, I don't think I achieved it very thoroughly.
Grasping my bowl, I scurried over to the door - making sure to push it open after Axel moved - and dropped the dish into the awaiting sink.
"Ugh, he's such an idiot!" I heard Axel mutter under his breath as I dashed out of the kitchen - thanking Aeris on the way - before I made my way to my lonely room. No. Sora was not. I was the idiot.
Lying amongst the coiled sheets of my bed, I curled in on myself, seeking warmth and comfort that none could offer me at that moment. The nightmares were getting worse. More hauntingly real with each resting moment. My tear soaked pillow settling my throbbing head, I trembled.
Roxas…Mother…Father…
Why did you have to go…?
As if they could answer…
I flinched and caught my breath as I heard the unmistakable creak of my bedroom door opening. The widening column of light blanketed my entire back as I tried to compose my trembling and tear-streaked face. Maybe I could pass myself off for being asleep if I kept still enough. Dreaming…peacefully. They would go away.
It took only a moment of waiting, but the light didn't fade as someone traipsed through my bedroom. I forced my body to stop shaking and morphed my face with a mask of peace and sleep. Eyes closed yet not clamped shut to allow the tips of my lashes to brush against my cheeks. Hands limp by my face, fingers twitching subtly. Slow even breathing. Lips parted in sleeping breath.
I hoped it was enough to fool them.
The mattress behind me sunk with weight. They were sitting on the bed? But who was they? I had to know.
Moaning softly, I rolled over onto my back, head falling limp to my right so I could catch a glimpse of the silhouette perched upon my bed from under my lashes. Pants. They were wearing pants so it could not be Aeris, nor Donald. Could it have been someone I had yet to meet?
A lock of my curly hair fell over my eyes. I had never loathed my hair as much as I did right this very moment. I could not very well brush it aside. That is not something one would do whilst asleep.
"Danella…"
I dearly hoped the sudden stiffness in my form was not too apparent in the dull light. I knew that voice. The lock was lightly brushed back and curled around my ear. I knew these fingers. They graced along my jaw and cheekbone, leaving behind a tingling trail. I moaned in content – I could not help it. People in their sleep did that, right?
The fingers were yanked from my cheek, much to my distraught. My heart clenched painfully as if I had just been deprived of a vital heartbeat.
The room was naught but silence as I pleaded for his fingers once again.
"…I'm so sorry…" his voice was so broken. Drops of liquid patted against my cheek - making me flinch - and continued their way down to settle into the cup of my palm, trapped under my head. Tears. Why was he crying?
Sora.