November 20, 1934

Dear Diary,

I don't know what has come over me, but I have started to have feelings for James. I know it is impossible that he would ever love me other than as a friend or that we could ever be together. Mandy was right, I do like him, she will be the only one who knows though, because it would never happen considering I'm with Adam…he just frustrates me sometimes. I know my parents only wanted me to have a wealthy husband that could care for me, but this is ridiculous. He is drunk every night after parties and hardly ever comes home on the same night. I've never had feelings for him nor will I ever. I wish my parents hadn't made me marry him; he doesn't love me at all. And although he may not love me as he says he does, if he ever found out about my feelings he would be furious. I don't even want to imagine what he would do. And I won't ever want him to find out, I guess I'll just have to keep these feelings to myself and just live with the fact that nothing will ever happen between James and I.

Lindsay

November 28, 1934

Adam had left on a hunting trip with some of his friends earlier that week so that left Lindsay home alone for a few weeks. Lindsay was in the kitchen baking when she heard a knock at the front door. She opened the door to find Mandy standing on the porch.

A smile spread across her lips, "Hey Mandy, what are you doing here?" Mandy's grin widened, "Gosh, don't sound so thrilled to see me!"

Lindsay laughed as she shook her head, "Sorry. I didn't expect anyone to come, Adam left this morning for a hunting trip."

"Well isn't that good? No Adam for half a month. I'd say that's a plus."

Lindsay laughed again, "Yeah it definitely is. Why don't you come in?"

Mandy shrugged, "Well if you insist." She stepped inside as Haley shut the door behind her. "What are you up to?"

"Just baking cookies, want to help?" Mandy laughed, "Sure if you want burnt cookies. I've never been good in the kitchen, you know that."

Lindsay laughed once more as she shook her head. "I just need company, do you mind putting them in for me?"

Mandy nodded, "Yeah sure. Well I guess I picked a good time to come then...you seem lonely already." Lindsay looked down at her feet, "Yeah, but to tell you truth I'm kind of relieved to have Adam away."

"I bet, you seemed kind of depressed at the party. Well no not kind of, you were just plain depressed." Mandy said with concern in her voice. Lindsay nodded, "Yeah I was. I just needed time to think, without him yelling at me to fetch him beer or something."

Mandy looked at her questioningly, "Think about what?"

"About stuff..." Lindsay shook her head, then changed the subject. "Anyways how are you and Jacob doing?"

"Just fine. Now stop trying to change the subject," she said as she slapped Lindsay in the arm playfully. "This is about James isn't it?" Mandy said once she got no response.

Lindsay shook her head dismissively, "No...It's just...well. Can we just not talk about this now?"

Mandy rolled her eyes, "Fine, but don't think I'll let you off that easily."

The girls chatted for a while longer until the cookies were done. Then they sat at the table to have some coffee. After sitting in the silence Mandy finally spoke up. "Well let's have at it."

Lindsay looked at her with a confused look. Mandy rolled her eyes, "Don't play dumb with me, come on spill..."

"About what?" Mandy shook her head, "Don't act like you don't know. You know exactly what I am talking about."

Lindsay shrugged, "But I don't even know what to make of it. I haven't really thought it through yet."

"Come on, it's obvious you like him. Simple as that."

Lindsay sighed, "Well, the thing is.. I've been thinking about him a lot lately."

"Well I can see that."

"Really? Is it that obvious?" Lindsay asked.

Mandy hesitated, "Umm...yes! I mean I can see it, he just can't apparently."

Lindsay looked down at her coffee cup, "Well, I can't help it, he's so…amazing..?"

"Uh yeah let's leave it at amazing for now. When did this happen anyways?"

"A while ago…before I married Adam.." Lindsay said as she still stared down at her coffee cup.

Mandy's eyes widened in disbelief, "What?! And you never told me?!"

"I didn't want anyone to know!"

Mandy looked at her in shock, "Not even me? Your BEST friend...?"

"I'm sorry, now you know, but it's not like anything will happen.. I'm married to Adam remember?"

Mandy looked at her with a look of defeat. "Right, forgot about that one."

Lindsay nodded, "It's okay."

Mandy shook her head, "No it's not. You have feelings for him, you should have told him."

Lindsay sighed, "It's not like I could anyways. He's with Amber." Mandy let out a frustrated sigh, "He wasn't before you met Adam!"

"Well, it's too late now." Lindsay said as she shrugged.

Mandy sighed. Lindsay looked at her questioningly, "What is it?"

"Well if you would have told me, you could be with him now."

"Well what's done is done. There isn't anything we can do about it now. Now can we talk about something else?" Lindsay asked pleadingly. Mandy just nodded slowly.

Mandy soon left before it got dark knowing she had to get back home. Lindsay sighed as she was once alone in the house again. She decided to go take a shower to try and calm herself down after the talk she just had with Mandy.

Lindsay tried not to think about anything, but her thoughts of James always came back to her. She sighed, frustrated since not even the shower was helping her relax. Lindsay continued to take her shower unaware of the fact that someone was at the door. The knocking continued for a few moments, and then the door opened.

James opened the door slowly, "Lindsay?"

James became a little worried considering Lindsay was home alone and she usually locked the doors and windows. James called out her name again, this time a little louder. He got no response, he proceeded to walk up the stairs. As he neared the top of the stairs he could hear the shower running and Lindsay singing? He never knew she had such a beautiful voice, he stood in the door way to the bedroom for a moment listening to her angelic voice. He stood there leaning against the door frame lost in thought, unaware that the shower had stopped running. Lindsay got out of the shower as she wrapped herself in her towel. She opened the door and walked over to the bed where she had laid out her clothes. James still lost in thought didn't realize and he looked up after a few moments. He watched as she unpinned her hair and the tresses cascaded down her back. He shook of the moment and turned to walk away, just then Lindsay took off the towel so she could put on her clothes. James looked away shocked and turned to walk away but bumped into the table that stood in hallway behind him. He panicked as a vase fell off the table, he looked back into the room. Lindsay turned around startled and screamed. She quickly grabbed her robe and wrapped it around herself.

James turned away quickly, but stood his ground. "Oh, Lindsay...I'm so sorry..."

James stumbled as he turned to leave.

Lindsay stood there still in shock, her face began to flush as she felt embarrassed.

James shook his head, "I should go, I'm sorry..."

He turned around to leave but ended up tripping down the stairs, he stopped on the landing. Lindsay rushed over and knelt down next to him.

"Oh my gosh! Are you alright?" Lindsay put her hand behind his head as he sat up a bit resting on his elbows. James rubbed the back of his head.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He said trying to get up.

Lindsay looked at him a bit worried, "Are you sure?"

James nodded slowly, "Yeah, I just bumped my head." He stepped away from her, "I'd better go." James turned to walk down the stairs and leave.

"No, wait..." she said without thinking.

James turned around and looked at her, staring into her eyes. Lindsay looked away nervously for a moment. "Let me at least get you some ice."

"Okay... shouldn't you get dressed first?"

"Right... I'll meet you downstairs." She said, nodding her head.

"Okay." James said as he turned to leave.

Lindsay rushed back into the room, slamming the door behind her. She sighed frustrated at what had just happened. She shook her head at the thought of what James might be thinking at the moment.

Oh my god! Lindsay you are so stupid! I can't believe this. As if things weren't awkward enough. I don't even want to think about what he might be thinking right now. That was so embarrassing!

James walked downstairs and sat down on the couch. He put his hand on his head where he had hit it.

I'm such an idiot! First I trip then I fall down the stairs? I feel so awful. I should have known and just walked back downstairs once I knew she was in the shower. I can't imagine how she must feel right now. That was really odd though, I've never felt that way before. Sure I had feelings for her before, but then she married Adam. But my feelings had never been as strong as they were back upstairs. I wish I would have said something to her before, maybe we could have been together...

James sat there lost in thought until his thoughts were interrupted by footsteps coming into the room. He looked up to see Lindsay walking into the room, an ice pack in hand.

"Here's the icepack," she said as she handed it to him.

James took it from her, their hands touched for a moment as she handed it to him. "Thanks."

James felt a shock run through him as her skin touched his. He shook it off as he placed the ice on his head. Lindsay smiled nervously, she'd never felt this way before. She too had a shock run through her as their hands touched. She also shook it off as she thought of something to say.

A small smile formed on her lips, "No problem. Um, so. What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I was at home getting ready to leave and Mandy came over." Lindsay froze as he mentioned her friend's name.

"Mandy? What did she want?" James shrugged, "She said you needed to talk to me about something."

"Oh. Well.. No I'm fine…really," she said forcing a smile.

"You sure? She said it was important." Lindsay once again saw concern in his eyes as he asked her.

"It's nothing at all. Plus I'm sure you're busy," she said as she shrugged.

James looked up at her somewhat disappointed, "Alright. Well I told you before, if you ever needed to talk I would be there for you."

Lindsay nodded as her smile widened. "Thanks James."

James nodded, "Any time. I should go, I had to go over to the office for something." He stood up to leave.

Lindsay nodded and slowly stood up to walk him out. "James...?"

"Yes?" he asked.

"I'm sorry about...you know. What happened upstairs." Lindsay said somewhat awkwardly.

James shook his head, "Don't be, I should be sorry. I shouldn't have just walked in."

"It's fine. You know..." Lindsay bit her lip unsure if she should go on. "It gets kind of lonely here while Adam is gone. Would you mind, maybe...coming over some time?"

Lindsay winced as she waited for him to respond. "Yeah, that'd be nice," he said shortly after.

A wave of relief swept over her, "Okay. I'll see you later then?"

James smiled down at her, "Yeah. Bye Lindsay," he said as he stepped onto the porch.

Lindsay smiled as she leaned onto the door, "Goodbye."

The next morning Lindsay had finished cleaning the dishes when she heard a knock at the door. She opened it to find Mandy smiling back at her.

"Mandy Wilson!" she gritted out.

"Hey Lindsay."

"Mandy...do you know what happened yesterday?!" Lindsay said anger rising in her voice.

"I came over yesterday...?" Mandy said with confusion.

"Yes, but what happened after you left?" Lindsay said growing impatient.

"Hmm I don't remember, why?"

Lindsay crossed her arms over her chest. "Why? Well let's see I went into the shower after you left. And then I came out to find James standing in the doorway to the bedroom."

"Soo?" Mandy asked still confused.

"I wasn't dressed yet nor did I have a towel on!" Lindsay said angrily.

Mandy's eyes widened in surprise, "Oh my god! What did he say!?"

"Well sorry before he tripped and fell down the stairs."

"Oh my god! Is he alright?" Mandy asked a bit concerned.

"Yes, just don't worry about me...I mean humiliating myself in front of the only man I love isn't that bad." Lindsay said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't of told him you needed to talk…did you guys even talk?!"

Lindsay nodded, "Yes, we did. For a few minutes after I gave him some ice for his head."

"Wow.. Well what did you talk about?"

"Not much, that he would be there for me whenever I needed to talk and just that he might come over while Adam is away." Lindsay said somewhat dismissively.

Mandy gasped, "Ooh when Adam is away huh? I see."

"What I can't have any company now?" Lindsay asked.

"Oh no, I'm just saying…" Mandy said once again showing her signature smirk. "Well anyways, I have to go. Good luck with James."

"Okay, bye."