A/N: I am so sorry this has taken me so long, I hope you're not mad/lost interest in this. I wanted to make sure it was good and for some reason I found it really difficult to do that. Thanks for reading this! xoxo

Christmas was coming around fast, and Bella needed to make plans. Everyone already knew what they were doing for the Christmas holidays, but Bella was wondering what she was supposed to do. Even after everything Barty had told her about Tom Riddle, she was still thinking about when she would next be meeting with him. She was on her way to her last class of the day, Transfiguration, when she overheard some raised voices in the corridor next to the Transfiguration courtyard. She stopped and listened, not yet having a look, because she was certain she already knew who the voices belonged to.

'Why should I apologise?' James Potter was yelling at someone. Bella had evidently caught them mid conversation, but she knew instantly who he was talking to.

'Because it's the right thing to do!' Lily answered in a raised voice, but definitely not as loudly as James. 'You did something terrible to her, and you need to rectify it!'

'I don't understand why it's such a big deal to you,' James grumbled. 'she's a real bitch, Lily. You know she hates Muggle-borns, don't you?' Bella inwardly felt a little guilty, because he was right, but she did not hate Lily Evans.

Lily took a deep breath. 'James, I don't care. Even if she was the symbol of evil itself, you still need to apologise.' Bella couldn't help but smile at hearing that, Lily was such a nice person, especially in comparison to James Potter. After what he'd said to her at the Christmas party about Lily being right that he wanted her! It was all lies but to what end? What did he actually hope to achieve?

James sighed heavily. 'Okay. Fine. I'll apologise, but don't expect miracles, Lily. I'm not going to be her best friend, you understand that, don't you?'

'I'm not stupid.' Lily bit back, then she stormed away from James without another word. Bella smirked at her attitude and could feel nothing but pride for Lily's actions.

She decided to back track her steps and go the long way around the courtyard so James didn't see her. She wasn't going to make this apology easy for him. If he really wanted to do what Lily asked, then he'd have to come and find her himself.

Transfiguration passed by tediously slowly and Bella took in virtually nothing from the lesson. They were set homework for the Christmas holidays and sent on their way.

'Are you okay, Bella?' Lucy asked her as they wandered back to the common room.

Bella shrugged. 'Yeah, why?'

'You just seem distant.' Lucy observed, throwing her auburn hair over one shoulder. Bella didn't reply, just looked back and shrugged once more. 'Got any plans for the holidays?'

Bella shook her head. 'No. I'm just going to go home and spend some time with my family, I think.'

'Sounds nice.'

'I doubt it.' Bella sighed.

She couldn't decide what she wanted to do. A part of her desperately wanted to have another meeting with Tom Riddle and have him teach her more spells and they could develop their friendship a little more. But at the same time Barty's words were ringing in her head alongside everything Rabastan had to said to her… and that kiss. She couldn't make her mind up what she was supposed to do. And the other thing bothering her was the consequence of if she heeded their warnings – what would Tom do then? After the way he's managed to get Evan and AJ to drop out of school for him… what would he do if she told him she didn't want to work with him after all? After he'd put in so much effort?

The final day of term came and everyone was packed up to go. Bella was spending a last few minutes by the fire in the common room before she had to go. It was nice to just sit by herself for a while, but she was only waiting for Abby to finish saying goodbye to Matt, as he was staying at school over the holidays.

'Bella,' a calm voice addressed her from the shadows. She turned around to see Rabastan edging towards her. 'you thought about what I said?'

Bella smirked, she couldn't help it. 'I was more thinking about what you did.'

He flashed a small smile at her but she could tell something was wrong. He glanced around the room to check it was still empty before sitting down opposite Bella in an armchair.

'Look,' he started in a low voice. 'I need to tell you this because it would be grossly unfair if I didn't. Evan came back to me yesterday and told me something else, another message from Tom and I accepted it this time. I don't… I can't tell you why because it was part of the conditions… but know this, okay? I didn't want to but he gave me no choice.' Bella was caught up watching him speak. He'd been so calm and dead set against Tom Riddle, and now he'd joined him? Whatever it was Tom had said to persuade him, it must have been powerful. 'You need to get out now, okay? While you still can.'

Bella swallowed and met his gaze, his dark eyes showing nothing but concern. 'He started teaching me things, you know. I haven't actually told him I'll definitely join him… but it seems like I have, doesn't it?'

Rabastan nodded slowly and sighed, falling back into the chair and staring at the fire for a while. 'I guess.' He said finally. 'But try not to, alright? He thinks he's got you, he really does. Please don't prove him right.'

'Thanks for your concern.' Bella told him. 'But I can hold my own. I don't need people looking out for me. When everyone's telling me to keep away from him, and yet they've joined him, it's sending out somewhat of a mixed message, don't you think?' She answered back, gaining a little more force than she intended.

Rabastan looked slightly taken aback and took his time in replying.

'Do what you want, Bellatrix.' He said solemnly. 'But remember my actions as much as my words. I kissed you – it means I care about you. Keep that in mind.' And with that he stood up and left the common room without even looking back. Bella watched him leave and stared at the portrait hole for a while. She was still taking in what he'd said. It means I care about you. What was that supposed to mean?

'Bella!' She spun around and stood up on hearing her name and someone shattering her silent thoughts. 'You seen my brother?' Roddy asked her as he dragged his case out of the stairwell of the boy's dorms.

'I… yeah, he just left.' Bella told him honestly, though a little caught off guard at being asked about him. Roddy would go crazy if he found out she'd kissed his brother. Even though she had no relationship ties to him anymore, it would be one step over the line to kiss his brother. But still… she had to admit that overall, she liked Rabastan a lot more than his brother.

'Thanks.' He said with a real smile. 'You waiting for someone?'

'Yeah, Abby's just saying goodbye to Matt.'

'Oh.' He said awkwardly. 'I'll see you on the train?'

'Doubtfully.' Bella answered him. He looked as if he was about to reply but decided against it and strode past her and out of the common room. Bella let out a sigh of relief that he wasn't going to stick around and dropped into a seat on the sofa. Her head was a whirl of things she couldn't make out and doubted she ever would. Tom Riddle and all those powerful spells he could teach her… but Rabastan and Barty…

'Ready, Bella?' Abby's voiced echoed from somewhere behind her. It rang through the silence in Bella's head, like she was talking from behind a mist but wasn't visible. Bella shut her eyes for a moment and everything was clear again.

'Yeah.' She forced a smile and grabbed her case off the floor. Abby gave her a breezy smile and together they left the common room. They started casually discussing what they were going to do over the holidays, the plans Abby has to go away from Christmas and the present she was going to send to Matt, when she abruptly stopped speaking. Bella followed her gaze through the archway to the Entrance Hall. James Potter, hanging around, evidently waiting.

Bella rolled her eyes. She'd intended on evading him for much longer than this, she wanted to really drag out his apology but it seemed like this would have to do.

'Is he waiting for you?' Abby asked cautiously, peering through the archway like if he saw her she'd be turned to stone.

Bella sighed and dropped her case onto the stone floor. The noise evidently reached James as he spun around, caught off guard. Apparently he'd been waiting a while.

'I won't be long.' Bella told Abby in a steely tone, not once taking her cold eyes off James Potter. Abby swallowed and nodded, not really sure what to think of Bella's reaction.

Bella stormed up to James, her hair flying back behind her even with the lack of wind around.

'What?' She spat, stopping right in front of him.

James folded his arms and raised an eyebrow, clearly not intimidated by her. 'I wanted to talk to you.'

'Go on then.'

'Not here.'

James stormed off ahead of her and down another corridor, not even taking a second glance to make sure she was following him. Bella glanced back at Abby, who gave her a small nod, before she took off after James. He led her down a small, dimly lit corridor with no classrooms or doors on either side.

'James, where does this lead?' She called after him, more curiosity than nervousness but she still wanted to know.

'The boat house.' His voice echoed off the walls and Bella started to hear the sound of water sloshing to and fro.

'Why are we going there?' She asked, speeding up to a light jog to try and keep up with him. He didn't reply this time, just continued pacing a way ahead of her. Bella didn't try to ask again, she knew he'd heard her. They got to the deserted boat house, the light of the water rippling across the walls and one lonely boat bobbing on its own. She didn't speak, she just kept her distance from James and waited for him to say something.

'Bellatrix,' he started with a heavy sigh. It almost hurt her to hear him call her that instead of Bella. Almost. 'I need to apologise to you.' She waited for something else to be said but it wasn't forthcoming.

'Well, that was short and not so sweet.' She said, starting to move back towards the door to the corridor. James grabbed her wrist, maybe a little violently. She spun around and met with the gaze of his impossibly blue eyes behind those round glasses, his messy hair falling around them. As he looked at her, he knew he'd done wrong. He'd hurt her in a way he'd never thought he'd be capable of. When he started this endeavour it was because she was something he knew he couldn't have. Shouldn't have. She was off limits but that's exactly why he started it. He thought she'd be stronger, yes, but he didn't think he'd let himself go as far as he did. Want got the better of him, his desires for more and more took over his moral compass. He should have known that for someone like Bella, giving her the hope of having a normal, happy life with someone she loves, would have been the worst way of hurting her.

'I'm sorry.' He said in a whisper. 'I know what I did to you was wrong.'

'Yes. It was.'

'And I know I gave you… mixed signals.'

'You did.'

He finally let go of her wrist and took a step back, removing temptation from right in front of him. 'There's nothing I want more than you to forgive me, Bella.' He said quietly, glancing out across the water, a glassy look appearing in his eyes. Bella's heart instantly melted a little.

'All you had to do was ask.' She answered in a surprisingly small voice. James broke a smile, as she couldn't help but do the same. 'And just so you know,' Bella continued while she still had the chance. 'I'm not jealous. Lily's a really lovely girl and you'd make a nice couple.'

'Thanks.' He said, his eyes dropping to the floor.

'I have to go, James.' Bella told him. 'But thank you.'

'Bella.' He started as she turned to leave. She didn't turn around but she did stop. 'I'll always love you, in some capacity.'

'Goodbye, James.' She said after a moment, opened the door and shut it behind her.