A/N: Hey guys! I know its been foreverrrrr since I updated! So sorry about that. Hope you all like this update though, its extra long lol. Thanks for the comments too!

P.S. Make sure to check my profile too, I posted the video I made for this chapter. Hope you all like the video too!

Chapter 12

Oceans Away

(James' house – March 15, 1935)

James still couldn't believe that she was gone. It had been a few hours since he'd found out, but he still was in shock. He didn't think Lindsay would ever do anything like that, but then again he hadn't made things any easier for her. James had had so many chances to get her back and God knows if he'd ever see her again now.

James stood up and walked over to his nightstand. He pulled open the drawer, revealing a photo of him and Lindsay inside. He took it out and looked down at it; a small smile appeared on his face. James had missed times like that when the two of them were actually happy.

He swallowed hard as a lump grew in his throat, he couldn't help but think that he'd never see Lindsay again. He had no idea where she was and if there was any way he could find her. James felt his heart break at the thought that maybe he'd even lost her forever.

It was then that James knew what he must do; he got up and walked out of the house.

Within a few minutes, he had pulled up in front of Amber's house. He rushed up to the porch and banged on the door. Amber came to the door, a glare formed on her face when she realized it was him. "What do you want?"

"I need your help." James said.

"With what?" Amber asked.

"I need help finding Lindsay." James said.

"Why would I want to help you?" Amber asked as she crossed her arms over her chest, narrowing her eyes even more.

"Maybe because you screwed up mine and Lindsay's relationship." James said coldly.

"That's not my fault, it's your own." Amber said.

"Things would have been fine if you hadn't come along, Amber." James said, anger rising in his voice.

"Okay one, you come to ask for my help and then you start yelling at me? And if it's all my fault for your loss of Lindsay than why did you continue talking to me after she left?" James stood there, not sure of what to say. "That's what I thought." Amber said as she moved to close the door.

Just then James reached over and stopped her from closing the door. "Please, Amber. She means everything to me, and I know I messed everything up, but I just want to be able to see her again. I want to know if there's any chance for us again." James said with sadness in his voice.

Amber stood there for a moment, debating whether or not to help him. "Fine," she said after a moment. James sighed in relief. "But on one condition-" Amber said.

"What's that?" James asked.

"I want to actually know what's been going on between us. You always say it's my fault you screwed up your relationship with Lindsay, yet you still talked to me." Amber said. A smile tugged at the corner of her lips, "And I want to know what you really felt about me, because the last time I kissed you it seemed like you felt something, even though you denied it."

James sighed, "Fine."

Amber stepped aside so he could come in, "Okay then." A smirk grew on Amber's face as she turned to shut the door.

(3 months later; June 21, 1935)

James continued to pace around the living room; his clothes were all wrinkled and he'd looked like he hadn't slept in weeks. His hands balled up into fists as he took in Amber's unfortunate news.

"I'm really sorry James..." Amber began to say before he whirled around, a look of rage upon his face.

"What do you mean you're sorry? You shouldn't have to be sorry Amber! You told me she was there and we'd finally found her!" James screamed at her.

"I said I thought she was there, I didn't know definitely. That's what they told me okay, I can't do anything about it if she doesn't want to be found James. Did you ever think of that?" Amber said bitterly.

"I don't care, I want to know where she is...damn it!" James said as he turned and grabbed a vase. He hurled it at the wall, the glass scattering across the floor into a million pieces. He stared down at the glass that surrounded his feet, thinking back to that dreadful night when Lindsay left him.

James heard the front door slam shut as Lindsay left. He sat down on the edge of the bed and ran his fingers through his hair; still in shock.

As he looked up he saw something shining out of the corner of his eye. Lying upon the night stand was the ring he'd given to Lindsay only a few days ago. As he sat there staring at it, a feeling of dread and anger washed over him.

It was in that moment that he knew she must've seen him and Amber outside. Not even what had happened the night before would tear them apart so fast.

He stood up and grabbed a picture frame from the night stand and threw it across the room in anger. It collided with the mirror causing it to shatter as it came crashing to the floor.

James crouched down and sat upon the cold floor, holding his head in his hands. He sat there in the silence, staring off at the sea of glass before him. Tears began to stream down his face as he continued to think of the look of betrayal and hatred that was upon Lindsay's face as she walked out. If only he wouldn't have been so stupid as to make her feel that this was all her fault, of course none of it was.

Everything had happened so fast and he didn't know what to do now.

Amber walked over to him and grabbed his arm, "Calm down James. We'll find her I prom-"

James tore his arm away from her grasp, "No, I won't calm down! All you have done is send me on a wild goose chase these past months!"

"James, I've been doing my best to try and find her." Amber said.

"Right, well you keep telling yourself that Amber, because I don't care anymore. I'm through with you and all your games. I'll find Lindsay myself." James said angrily as he turned to leave.

"James!" Amber yelled after him as she followed him to the front door.

He threw open the door and walked out before turning around to face her. "Stay the hell away from me and Lindsay, I mean it this time Amber. I'm done with all your crap!" James quickly turned on his heels and got into his car before speeding off.

(Mandy's house)

James knocked on the door as walked up to the porch. Within a few minutes Mandy came to the door; a smile spread across her lips. She looked puzzled for a moment before she smiled again, "Hi James, I didn't expect to see you here."

"Yeah, I was just wondering if we could talk. I know it's been a while, but it's kind of important."

"Of course, come on in." Mandy said as she stood aside.

As James walked in he finally took in her appearance. "Well you look a lot – bigger than you had the last time I saw you."

Mandy laughed, "Is that supposed to be a compliment?"

James looked away for a moment, "No, sorry. It's just kind of odd considering I haven't seen you in a while. I'm so used to seeing you almost every day because of...you know." He said quietly.

"Yeah," Mandy nodded. She walked over to the living room; James close on her heels, "Do you want anything to drink or eat? I just made some cookies." Mandy said as her smile widened.

"I don't know is it safe?" James said jokingly.

Mandy swatted his arm, "Why do you and Lindsay always have to do that to me. I'm getting better you know."

James laughed, "Its kind of weird considering you weren't the type before."

Mandy nodded as she sat down, "Go ahead and sit." Mandy said as she motioned for him to sit.

James sat down next to her on the couch. "So how've you been?" James asked.

"I've been good, just trying to get used to this whole mom thing. Its kind of scary you know?"

"Well I'm not one to ask, considering." James said quietly, "But I'm glad everything's going okay with the baby."

"Yeah, so what about you? How have you been?" Mandy asked.

"Could be better," James said quickly.

"Why's that?" Mandy asked curiously.

"Well, the past few months I've been trying to find Lindsay."

"Oh," Mandy said quietly as she sighed. "I really wish she hadn't left so suddenly, I mean she did stop by a few times before that, but it doesn't seem like her."

"Yeah well that was probably because of me." James said guiltily.

"Why would that be your fault, she could have left for any reason."

"You're kidding right? Everything that's happened the past several months is my fault. Besides, she came over to see me and I screwed that up again." James said sadly.

"What did you do now?" Mandy said sarcastically, trying to lighten up the mood.

"She found me with Amber again, nothing had happened, of course. But you know how she is."

Mandy nodded, "Yeah. Did she say anything to you about leaving?"

James shook his head, "Not a word after that night. She came to me upset, but I didn't get a chance to talk to her about it."

"Oh," Mandy sighed. "I just wish she'd send me a letter or something, just so I know she's alright."

"You know she doesn't want to be found, Mandy."

Mandy frowned, "Yeah. It's just so hard since we're so close."

"Yeah," James said quietly. "Listen I had a question for you."

"What's that?" Mandy asked.

"Like I mentioned before, I've been trying to find her the past few months. It's just I asked Amber to help me, and she just sent me on this wild goose chase practically. I really want to find Lindsay, and I guess I just want to know if you think I should still try to."

"Does she mean that much to you?" Mandy asked.

"Of course, I'd do anything to see her again." James said.

"Then why not? If you love her, and want to find her, then I think you should." Mandy said.

"You don't think she'd just send me away? I mean after everything I've done to her, you don't think she'd be upset that I came?" James asked.

"Well, I haven't talked to her lately so I really wouldn't know how she felt. But it has been awhile, so maybe she's had a chance to move on and forget about what happened." Mandy said as she placed her hand on James' arm lightly.

"Maybe, but I just really hope she won't push me away."

"You'll never know unless you try." Mandy said.

James nodded, "Well if you don't hear from me, you'll know why." James said as he stood up.

"That's it?" Mandy laughed.

"Yeah, I just wanted your opinion on that." James said.

"Well okay then," Mandy said.

"I'll let you know of anything, I promise." James said.

"Thanks, guess I'll see you around?" Mandy said.

"Yeah, take care. Good luck with the baby too." He said with a wink before giving her a quick peck on the cheek and hugging her.

"Thanks," Mandy said smiling again. "Good luck to you too, bring her home again, okay?" Mandy said sternly.

James laughed a bit, "I'll do my best. Bye."

"Bye James," Mandy called after him as he left.

(Tree Hill Train Station – February 14, 1935)

Lindsay slowly walked up to the ticket booth; she gave the man a small smile. "One ticket to New York, please," she said quietly as she gave him some money.

The man handed her a ticket, "Have a nice trip," he said with a smile.

Lindsay nodded, "Thanks," she said as she grabbed her bag and walked off. Within a few minutes she found the train she needed to board, she hesitated for a moment. Dozens of thoughts ran through her mind as she stood there staring at the train; Should I go? Is this even worth it? What if he won't let me stay with him? What if he doesn't even want to see me after what happened to Adam? Will he forgive me? What's Mandy going to say? Will she be mad at me? What will James think of me, if he finds out? Will he be mad at me? Lindsay shook her head, she couldn't think of what James thought or what mattered to him anymore. She was doing this for herself and herself alone. It was best for her, and everyone else for that matter.

The past few weeks she'd decided that it would be better if she just left, it would make things a lot easier for everyone at least. James could finally move on and forget about her, and she wouldn't be a bother to anyone else either.

Lindsay walked down the steps to where the train was. An exasperated sigh escaped her lips as she walked up to the man taking the baggage. She smiled slightly as he gave her a nod. Lindsay stuffed her hands in her pockets and slowly walked over to the door. She walked up the steps, slowly turning around for a moment. She took one last look at Tree Hill before she turned back around and walked onto the train. Lindsay quickly took a seat as the train started to move. She watched as the town flashed by, before it was completely gone.

Lindsay couldn't help but think of everything that had happened the following weeks. The night she'd seen James, what had happened before she saw him, and the night she revealed to her sister what she wanted to do. Her sister had been so upset and didn't want her to leave, but she knew she couldn't keep Lindsay from leaving.

Lindsay quickly packed her bags, trying to hurry before her sister came home.

Too late. Hannah walked into the room, "Hun, dinner is –"stopping dead in her tracks when she saw what her sister was doing. "What are you doing?" Hannah asked the sadness apparent in her voice.

Lindsay sighed, "I need to go, Hannah."

Hannah stood there gawking for a moment, unsure of what to say. "Wh-why?"

Lindsay turned to her sister, "Its not that I'm completely grateful for you letting me stay here, but I just can't stay here anymore, as in Tree Hill."

"Okay, but why?" Hannah asked again.

Lindsay sighed as she sat upon the bed, her sister walking over and sitting next to her. "It's just so hard staying here after everything's that happened, I just want to be able to get out of here and forget about what's happened, just put it all behind me. I want to be able to move on and I can't if I stay here."

Hannah took her sister's hand into hers, "I know it's hard for you Hun, but what about all your friends? And your family?"

"My friends will understand, hopefully. I know it's the last thing you want Hannah, but I just have, no I need to do this." Lindsay said as she looked up at her sister, her eyes beginning to water.

Hannah sighed sadly, "Okay, you know I don't like this. But whatever is best for you."

Lindsay gave her a small smile before she laid her head on her sister's shoulder. Hannah wrapped an arm around her and held her close, "I'm going to miss you," Lindsay said through sniffles.

"I'll miss you too Linds, just promise me one thing."

"What's that?" Lindsay asked as she sat up.

"Be careful, and call every once in a while for once." Hannah said with laughter in her voice.

A small giggle escaped Lindsay's lips as she wiped her eyes, "I will."

"Good," Hannah said as she stood up. "I gotta go downstairs, but be sure to say good bye to the kids at least."

"Of course." Lindsay said with a smile. "I'll be down in a minute."

Hannah nodded as she walked over to the door and quietly shut it as she walked out.

Lindsay's eyes shot open as the train came to a sudden stop. She sat up and wiped her eyes before she stood up and walked down to the exit. A cold wind stung her face as she stepped outside. Lindsay stuffed her hands in her pockets as she walked down a ways to where the baggage was being taken off the train. She waited for a few minutes before she finally got her bag and walked off.

Lindsay stepped out of the cab; she stared up at the building in front of her. As she stood there she couldn't help but feel a bit apprehensive, a feeling of worry set into her gut as she grabbed her bag. Lindsay sighed before she walked inside.

Lindsay held her head in her hands as the tears continued to fall. She couldn't help it as she sat there upon the floor, waiting. Her head shot up when she heard laughter coming down the hall. Quickly she wiped her eyes, just before he walked up.

"Lindsay?" He asked.

"Hi," she said quietly as she stood up and gave him a small smile.

"What are you doing here?" he said lightly as he walked over to her.

Lindsay smiled as she wrapped her arms around him giving him a hug. "I uh, needed to talk to you." She said as she looked over at the girl standing beside him.

"Oh, sorry, this is my girlfriend, Jessica. Jessica, this is my sister-in-law, Lindsay."

"Hi," Lindsay said as she shook the girl's hand quickly.

"Um, I'll just see you later, Babe." Jessica said quickly after they stood there in silence.

Lindsay smiled and nodded as the girl left, "Sorry," she said quietly.

"No its okay," he said with a smile. Her brother-in-law turned to the door and unlocked the door to his apartment, "Come on in."

"Thanks," Lindsay said with a smile as she walked inside.

"So do you want anything to drink, or eat?" He asked as he set her bag down by the couch.

"Um, maybe some water if that's okay." Lindsay said, standing there awkwardly.

He smiled, "Water it is, then." After a minute her brother-in-law walked out of the kitchen and handed her a glass of water.

"Thanks," Lindsay said as she moved to sit down.

He nodded, "Not a problem." He sat down beside her, "So what brings you to New York? Must be really important for you to come all the way here to talk to me."

Lindsay swallowed hard, "Well for one I just couldn't stay in Tree Hill anymore after what happened. It's just too hard, you know?"

He nodded, "Yeah I know what you mean. So is there more?"

Lindsay nodded, "I was kind of looking for somewhere to stay…" She looked at him worriedly.

"Well, I'm guessing that's your way of asking if you could stay." He said with laughter in his voice. "But you're welcome to stay here, I have a spare bedroom."

"Are you sure? I mean I know it's kind of rude for me to just come here and ask that, but..." Lindsay sighed.

"It's alright, I'm always here for you, you know that right?" He said.

Lindsay nodded slightly, "Thanks."

"Anything for my sister-in-law." He said with a smile as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

"Um, there's kind of more to it..." Lindsay said after they sat there quietly.

"What's that?" He asked her as she sat up to look at him.

(New York – August 22, 1935)

Lindsay finished getting dressed after she'd taken a shower. She then pulled her hair up into a pony tail before she walked out. "Good morning," she said brightly as she found her brother-in-law sitting at the table already. She walked over and gave him a quick peck on the cheek, "You're already eating?"

"Yeah, sorry, I'm just running a bit late today." He said as he took a sip from his coffee mug.

"That's quite alright," Lindsay said as she walked over and poured herself a cup. "Are you still coming home earlier today?"

"Yeah, which is why I'm running late, I'm supposed to be there earlier too." He said as he stood up.

Lindsay smiled, "Okay good, I was hoping I could make us something nice for dinner tonight."

"Sounds good to me," He said with a laugh. "Can't pass up any of your cooking."

Lindsay laughed, "I'll expect you around seven, don't be late." She said as she narrowed her eyes.

Her brother-in-law laughed, "I won't. And do you mind if Jessica comes over tonight?"

"Not at all," Lindsay said. "At least you told me before an hour before dinner this time, she said with a smirk.

"I made it a point to do so." He said as he set his dishes in the sink. "I'll see you later." He said as he gave her a quick peck on the cheek and grabbed his briefcase before walking out.

Lindsay set her coffee mug down after he left. She walked over and opened a bedroom door, a smile spread across her lips as she walked inside.

(Later that afternoon)

James stopped dead in his tracks as he stared up at the building across the street. This is it, he thought as he took a deep breath. He quickly made his way across the street and inside the apartment building. He felt a feeling of worry set in as he walked up the stairwell. It took everything in his power to continue walking and to try and push past the feeling of fear that he'd felt all morning. This could finally be the place where he could find Lindsay, and just the thought of how she'd react scared him half to death. He hadn't made the best choices before she left and he just hoped she'd talk to him, if that.

He hesitated as he stood before the doorway he'd been told was Lindsay's. Taking a deep breath he knocked on the door lightly.

Lindsay paused as she walked inside her bedroom, hearing a knock at the door. She quickly made her way out. "Just a minute," she called out as she weaved her way through the living room. She straightened out the skirt of her dress before opening the door.

James stood outside the door, that feeling of horror washing over him again. What if this wasn't where she was? What if she didn't want to see him? What if she wouldn't even talk to him? He couldn't help but worry, he hadn't seen Lindsay in months and he wasn't so sure as to how she'd react seeing him again. He held his breath as the door opened.

Lindsay's breath got caught in her throat as she saw who stood before her. "J-J-James?" she stuttered.

"Hi," he said awkwardly as he stood there. James took in Lindsay's appearance as she stood there before him, he couldn't help but notice that she looked so much different now; almost more beautiful than before. Then again it had been a while since he'd seen her.

"What are you doing here?" Lindsay asked, snapping him out of his trance.

"Oh, um, well I was looking for you." James said.

Lindsay stood there in shock, unsure of what to exactly say. "Why?" she asked him finally.

"I wanted to see you," he said simply. "I mean I've been looking for you ever since you left Lindsay, I just- I wanted to see you again." He said as he looked at her, hope filled his eyes. "I was hoping we could talk."

Lindsay couldn't believe her eyes, it had been months since she'd seen James and yet there he was, standing before her. She couldn't believe he'd taken all that time to find her, "James…" Lindsay sighed, "I-I-I don't even know what to say."

"I know it's been a long time since we've seen each other Lindsay, but I had to see you. I just, couldn't lose you, not again." James said.

"James, you can't do this, not now." Lindsay said as she shook her head.

"Why Lindsay? I still love you, you know that. I just can't lose you. I mean, I spent months trying to find you just so I could talk to you. I want to talk about what happened before you left."

"There's not much to say," Lindsay said simply.

"Lindsay please, can we talk?" James said as he motioned inside.

Lindsay sighed, "Fine, come on in."

James stepped inside and turned around so he was facing her. "Listen, I know you probably don't want to see me right now, but I just want to explain what happened. I mean you just left…" he said.

"James, you know why I left that night. I couldn't do this anymore," Lindsay said as she pointed to her and James.

"I know, but you never gave me a chance to talk to you about it. I really wanted to be able to try and fix things with you."

Lindsay sighed, "I know that, but I can't anymore James. It's too hard, there's too much between us."

"Hey Lindsay –" he said as he walked in.

A look of horror washed over James face before it changed to anger as he saw him, "Yeah I'm sure that's it." He said as he looked back to Lindsay.

"James, it's not what you think."

"I should just go," James said as he walked past Lindsay and out the door.

Lindsay turned and watched him walk out, a frown on her face.

"What was that all about?" he asked.

Lindsay shook her head, "It's nothing."

(The next morning)

Lindsay called the last hotel in town, "Hi, do you have a Mr. James Scott staying at your hotel?"

"Let me just check the list…" the man said. "Why yes we do, can I help you with anything else?"

"Can you give me his room number please?" Lindsay asked.

"Room 323, is that all?"

"Yes, thank you very much." Lindsay said.

"You're welcome, have a nice day." The man said before hanging up.

Lindsay quickly walked out of her bedroom. She walked over to the door and grabbed a coat and her bag. "Where are you going?" her brother-in-law asked.

"I need to go see someone real quick, I shouldn't be too long." She said.

"Okay, see you later then." He said as he took another sip of his coffee.

Lindsay walked up to the room she was told James was staying in; she took a deep breath before she knocked on the door.

A sleepy James opened the door, "Lindsay?" He asked in surprise.

"Hi," she said quietly as she took in his appearance. "Um –" she began to say as she shook off the feeling, "I was hoping we could talk about what happened yesterday…"

"Um, okay." James said as he opened the door to let her in.

"Oh no, not here. I was just hoping you could come by tonight, maybe around six?"

"Alright, but can I ask why?" James asked in confusion.

"Well there's kind of something you need to know…and I was hoping if you came over tonight I could tell you." Lindsay said as she began to wring her hands.

"Sure, but will –" James began to say.

"No, Jonathan won't be there." Lindsay said as she rolled her eyes.

"Jonathan?" James asked in shock.

"Yeah, that was Jonathan, Adam's step brother." Lindsay said matter-of-factly.

"Oh…" James said, "Sorry." He said with a frown.

"It's alright; I kind of figured you'd see it as that if he came back."

James nodded, "Well see you later then?"

"Yeah," Lindsay said with a nod. "I should go, but I hope you do come by tonight James."

James gave her a small smile as she turned and walked off.

Lindsay opened the door, "Hi."

"Hey," James said quietly.

"Come on in," Lindsay said as she stepped aside.

James walked in and stood there awkwardly, "Sooo…"

Lindsay couldn't help but smile, "Why don't we sit down." James nodded as he followed her and sat down. "Listen, I'm sorry for the way I acted yesterday, I was just…I didn't expect to see you here."

"I know," James said as he stared down at his hands.

"So how've you been?" Lindsay asked, trying to break the tension.

James shrugged, "Okay I guess, even though I've just been trying to find you. What about you?"

Lindsay nodded slightly, "Fine I suppose, things have been kind of hectic here I guess you could say." As she glanced over at a door that was open a crack.

James nodded, "Listen, I know I screwed everything up between us, but I was just hoping we could talk."

"It wasn't your fault, James." Lindsay said reluctantly.

"Isn't it? You couldn't even stand to be near me let alone stay in the same town as me."

"It wasn't just about you that I left." Lindsay said as she stared down at her hands.

"But that was part of it, wasn't it?" James asked.

Lindsay nodded, "Yeah, but I didn't want to be a burden to anyone else anymore. And it's not like there was much else left for me in Tree Hill anymore."

A frown spread across James' lips, "Yeah," he agreed silently.

"I didn't mean it like that James, but there was just too many bad things that had happened and I just wanted to be able to move on." Lindsay sighed, "I know I shouldn't have just left the way I did, but I was afraid I might see you again."

"That bad, huh?" James said with a bit of sadness in his voice.

Lindsay shook her head, "It wasn't like that, its just, I wanted to be with you again James, but like I said, I just couldn't get my heart broken again." Lindsay took in a deep breath, trying to keep her composure. "Seeing you again that night just made all my feelings for you come back, but I just can't go through all of that again."

"Well I'm sorry I made you feel that way." James said as he finally looked back up at her. "None of it went the way I wanted; I'd take it all back if I could, for you."

Lindsay gave him a small smile, "I wish it hadn't had to end that way either James, I just hate that we lost each other in all of this. We used to be so close before all of this happened, and now we just lost each other completely."

James nodded, "Lindsay I know this is a lot to ask, but can't we just try again, please?"

Lindsay sat back in shock, she hadn't expected that… "James, I told you, I can't now."

"Why?" James asked in confusion. "I mean I came all this way to find you, so I could maybe get another chance. And you're not with anyone and neither am I so what is it that's stopping us?" James said angrily as his voice started to rise more with every word.

"James please keep your voice down…" Lindsay said as she looked behind him.

"Why? What's going on Lindsay?" James asked, still a bit upset.

Lindsay sighed, "I have a new life here James, and I can't just throw it away now, I'm sorry."

James shook his head in disbelief, "So then it was a complete waste of me coming here then?" He asked angrily.

"James…" Lindsay pleaded with him as worry crept up on her.

"Lindsay I've spent months trying to find you, that's all I've been worried about. I know what I did was wrong, but I –" He began to say before he was cut off.

Lindsay quickly got up at the sound and walked over to the door. She swung the door open and disappeared inside.

James looked over at the door in confusion and walked over. He stared in disbelief at the sight he saw before him.

"Shhhh…its okay." Lindsay said quietly as she rocked the baby back in forth and her arms, trying to calm it down.

James stood in the doorway still unsure of what to do. As the baby began to quiet down Lindsay finally looked up at him. "Lindsay..?" James looked at her in confusion.

Lindsay sighed before she walked over to him, "This is the reason why I wanted you to come over, although I wish I could have said something about it first."

"You have a baby?" James asked, still unable to believe the sight before him.

Lindsay nodded, "He's part of the reason why I needed to leave James. I was afraid of what you'd think and I just couldn't tell you after I'd put it off for a month."

"What?" James asked still confused.

Lindsay swallowed hard, "He's your son, James." Lindsay said simply as she stared up at James for some sort of response.

James stood there gaping, unable to say anything. "Wh-wh-why didn't you tell me before?"

"I tried James," Lindsay sighed, "That was the reason why I came to see you that night."

"Why didn't you mention anything to me?" James asked starting to come back to his senses.

"I got scared James, you were saying all of this stuff to me about being together again and I just had to leave. I couldn't just jump into a relationship again. Besides I needed some time to think, but either way I had no idea of how I'd tell you. And then when Amber was there I got scared again…" Lindsay said as she looked back down at her son.

"Lindsay nothing was going on between Amber and I, besides I stopped seeing her period months ago. The only reason I even saw her again was so she would help me find you, but that was a mistake."

Lindsay stood there quietly for a moment, "You never said anything about the baby you know…"

James stood there staring at her for a second, "I don't know what to say." James sighed, "I just wish you would have told me before."

"I know, I'm sorry," Lindsay said.

James sighed before looking down at the baby, "I think I should go…" He said as he turned to leave.

"James." Lindsay said as she followed him out.

"I'm sorry Linds, I just have to go." He said as he opened the door and walked out.

Lindsay stood there staring at the door; she couldn't believe he'd left like that. She hated to admit it, but a part of her actually hoped it would give her a reason to be with James again. They had a child now and maybe it would even make them closer, but it turned out to be the exact opposite. James had freaked out and didn't even tell her what he thought of having a baby now that he'd finally found out.

Lindsay frowned as she slowly sunk down into a chair, her eyes starting to well up in tears. She stared down at the baby as it cooed. Lindsay sniffled as she wiped her eyes before turning her attention to her son. "Hey baby…" she said quietly as he reached over and wrapped his tiny fingers around her finger. A smile tugged at the corner of Lindsay's lips as she stared down at him, "I'm sorry sweetheart, I wish things could've turned out a little bit better." Lindsay sighed, "Oh I love you so much, and I'm sure your father will too. Or at least I hope he will once he comes to his senses." The baby cooed again as he turned his attention to the necklace that Lindsay had on.

As she stared down at her son, Lindsay couldn't help but think of James. He reminded her of James every day and she couldn't help but feel bad about not telling James about their son. James could've been there now with her, sharing every moment with her and their baby. Lindsay felt her eyes tear up again as she continued to think about it. He'd done nothing but make her life better than it was before, he was the light and joy of her life. She couldn't help but feel sorry for him at this point, he'd done nothing whatsoever and his father just left after finding out about him. All she wanted was to give her a son a better life, and now she wasn't so sure if coming to New York was the best idea.