Can't Help But Wait
Disclaimer: I don't own WWE! Only Lauryyin & the usual others
Notes: Ah, I like this chapter. I hope you guys do too! I'm still writing the Whodunit game, but I've lost my funniness, I think. Thanks for reading and don't forget to review!
Ch. 7: Strange Little Boys
-Jeff's POV-
"Matt, guess who I saw at Wal-Mart?" I'm back at Matt's house now. "Who bro?" He asked as I stood by the couch in the den. "Man I saw Dave and some chick that he claims is his sister." Matt looked at me like I was crazy. "What the hell is wrong with that?" He asked. And they call me the dumb one. "Matt, I ain't know he had a blonde sister round the same age as Lori."
"Oh." He's the slow one now. "I know that wasn't his sister." By the look on his face, I know what he gonna say. "Just leave it alone, man. It ain't your business." He always says that. Always. As I walked to the backyard, he got up and followed me. "What man? I'm not doin nothin." I lied. He always knows when I'm up to somethin. "Yeah right. Whatever ya thinkin about doin, don't." He frowned.
"Fuck Matt, can't I just chill in the backyard by myself?" He always gotta be the big brother. "Since this is my house, no ya can't." He grinned. "Whatever, I'll just go to my house. Later." I said as I headed to the front. "I'm just playin, bro. Whatever ya thinkin, I'm in." He said. I knew he would. Good thing Shane and Shan's gone. We're callin in the big dogs for this one. Although, we might need them later on.
-Mark's POV-
"Hello." Damn, somehow crazy ass people always end up with my number. "Yeah, Taker? This is Jeff." Whoa, it's Jeff. "Look, kid. I don't know how the hell you got this number-" He fucking cut me off. "Jeff Hardy, man. This is Jeff Hardy." Oh, that would explain him having my number. "Sorry kid. Strange ass people been calling me lately. What ya want?"
"We need ta talk about Dave and Lori." Damn, I thought this was over. "What about them. I bet Eddie got you into this." I chuckled at the thought of that. "He didn't. I can't talk much on the phone. Come to Matt's. I'll explain there. You know where he lives at right?"
"Yeah I know. I dropped Fuego off there this morning. What the hell is going on, boy?" All this can't talk shit is annoying. "I'll tell ya when ya get here." And with that, he hung up. He's lucky I don't have shit else to do, except argue with my crazy ass estranged wife. We tried to settle our differences, so I brought her to Wrestlemania. Seriously a bad idea. She started this big ass argument during one of the main events, and I haven't heard from her since. That was a month ago. Whatever, I don't need her bullshit.
Anyway, back to this Jeff shit. I don't know what the hell is going on, but I hope I don't have to beat anybody's ass. Jeff seems like he has a little sugar in him. Even though his brother was with Amy, he seemed like he was a fruit loop too. I'm at their house right now and I swear if they start with that homo shit, I'm kicking both their asses. But if they're gay, they might like that. Damn, I gotta stop thinking so much, that is getting kinda dangerous.
"Talk Hardy." What the hell? This guy is outside in a lawn chair polishing his fingernails. I'm seriously questioning my sanity by coming here. I'm also questioning Jeff's sexuality. He's even got some goddamn pink flip-flops on. I swear Fuego had a pair just like that. He stopped polishing his nails and stood up. "Sup Taker. Lets go in the house." He grinned and motioned for me to follow him in. Strange ass little boy.
Let me rephrase that. Strange ass little boys. Meaning Jeff and Matt. Remind me not to come here again. I sat on the couch opposite from the brothers Hardy. "Talk, little boys." I can't help but be intimidating, it's who I am. "I saw Dave with some fine ass blonde chick at the Wal-Mart, he said it was his sister, and I know it wasn't his sister, but he says it is, but I don't believe him, I think he's cheatin' on Lori, and me and Matt cooked up a plan ta catch his cheatin' ass in the act, but we need ya help." Damn, he said all that in one breath, but I could understand him, barely.
"Damn, kid. Speak English next time. And what the hell do you two need my help for?" I asked raising my eyebrow and giving them both questioning looks. "Not much. We need you to be the threat." Matt explained. "By the look of the green goblin over there, I can tell that's not all you two want from me. I'm glad Fuego's got other people that care for her and all, but Eddie and I just promised the girl that we'd let her do what she wanted to do, a few hours ago actually. She's with him and Irvine now." I started chuckling at Jeff's green and purple hair. Looks like he got into a fight with Barney and lost.
"Come on, man. I know you want to hurt Dave." Jeff pleaded. I frowned. "Don't beg kid. Ain't you gonna get the door?" Somebody was trying to beat the damn door down. "Hold the hell on, man I'm comin!" Matt screamed as he ran to the door. Jeff and I gave each other questioning looks when we heard Matt scream. "What the hell Matt?" Jeff screamed as Matt ran from the front door all the way to the door leading to the backyard. "Two words. Water. Guns!" As soon as Matt said that, Jeff jumped over the couch and hauled ass to the backyard behind Matt.
I'm clueless as hell, sitting on this damn couch, so I decided to go in the backyard. When I walked outside, I was blasted in the face with some freezing cold water. When I wiped the water out my eyes, I found myself staring into the grinning face of Fuego. "Ima kill you Fuego." I frowned. She grinned more and threw her arms around me. "Markey! Why are you at Matt's house?" She squealed.
"Are you drunk?" I asked as I pried her arms off of my waist. I noticed Shane Helms and Shannon Moore chasing Matt and Jeff around that pool with some oversize water guns. I know all of their dumb asses are gonna end up in that pool before it's all over. "Kinda. Maybe. Just a teensy bit." She laughed with that big ass pink water gun in her hand. "Weren't you with Irvine?" I asked . "Duh, ya big idiot! You left me with him and Eddie." She was clearly wasted. Crazy ass girl.
"You mean to tell me that Eddie and Chris let you drink?" I have to hear this cause Eddie won't even let me drink around him. And I'm older than his ass. "No, silly. Eduardo left me with Chrissy. Chrissy's cool." She laughed. Figures, it would be Irvine to let her drink. She's been sipping on that Jerichohol. I shook my head as I heard a splash, and then another. I turned to see Matt and Jeff damn near drowning in the pool. I had to bite my bottom lip to keep from laughing. Shane and Shannon jumped in a few seconds later. These fools are fully clothed.
I turned back around after watching Matt and Jeff try to drown Shannon and Helms. "Get the hell away from me, Fuego." Drunk ass little girl is trying to spray me with that water gun. I started to back away from her when I noticed what she was trying to do. "Oh hell no." I growled as I grabbed at the gun. I couldn't get to it. I got too close to her and she ended up pushing me into the pool.
I'm too damn tall for this pool. I got closer to the edge of the pool and while she was distracted, I grabbed her ankle. "Don't you do that!" She screamed, as if that would work. I let her ankle go and jumped up, grabbing her by her waist and threw her into the pool.
Damn, I can't believe I'm having fun in a pool, fully clothed with the goddamn Hardys. And Shane and Shannon. And Fuego, who keeps jumping on my back. As curvaceous as this little thing is, I never expected her to be this heavy. I don't mind though. These dumb asses decided to try to drown each other. They steered clear of me, on account of them being scared that I was gonna break their necks. Maybe I mentioned that too, but who cares.
We stayed in the pool until it started to get dark. Good thing my bags were in my rental truck. One thing I've noticed about Fuego, is that she never wears a bra. Another thing is that she always wears tight ass tank tops. I found myself staring at her shirt when she got out of the pool. All I can say about that sight is, damn. After we all changed, we sat in the backyard, just chilling. I can't believe I'm at Matt Hardy's house having a good time. Wait until I tell Glen about this. He'll laugh his ass off.
"You wanna see funny, you should've seen her last summer when we first met. Man she was on top of tables and shit. One time she even started strippin, until Matt decided to get her down and cover her up." That's Jeff, explaining the fun of being around a highly intoxicated Fuego. "I've got a better one. How about the time Shannon dared her to give him a lap dance on the Hardy Show. She made sure to get totally tanked before she did. She ended up in the lake and Jeff somehow got her out and ended up giving her the lap dance." Matt laughed.
So when she gets drunk she gives lap dances. That would explain the story her sister Kim told me. She said that after their graduation party, Fuego took some random dude she was dancing with and gave him a hell of a lap dance. Somehow she got too wild for the poor guy and they had to get her off of him. Fuego says it was a dare, but I think the freak comes out of her when she's drunk. "How bout that time when her and Amy had that whipped cream." Shannon started. Jeff and Matt frowned. "Don't tell me they licked it off each other?" I asked, seriously this is interesting.
"No. We made Matt and Jeff lick it off each other. Ha ha, one of the forbidden Hardy shows." That was Fuego. She had sobered up a bit and I guess she heard our little conversation. "I knew ya'll had some sugar in there." I laughed at the two brothers who were starting to turn all red. "I don't know what you're laughing at, Deadman. I know about your silky little boxers and how you get down with your bad self. I would pay to see that." Fuego laughed. Sara must've told her that.
"Don't start with me girl. With all this new information I've found out about you, I could politely go and tell Eddie." She stood up and put her hands on her hips. "You know all of you work my nerves, right?" She growled. We all laughed. After a couple hours of goofing and more stories, I decided to go back to the hotel. Today was fun. I have a feeling that whatever the hell Matt and Jeff are planning is still in full effect, even though I declined helping them. I'll just keep an eye on them. With those two, anything is possible.
-Lauryyin's POV-
That was absolutely awesome! All my guy friends chilling together. If only Randy was here, he's my other buddy. Speaking of him, I've got to call him and tell him about CJ playing on the swings in the park. I was gonna crash at Matt's place, until I got a call from Dave. He wanted me to meet him at his hotel, but I travel with people, so I have no transportation. Sometimes it's fun to have your own Superstar chauffer, but at times like these, a girl needs her own whip, ya know.
A very pissed off Matthew Moore Hardy was my chauffer tonight. He went on mumbling to himself, saying something about peoples sisters being a hot blonde. I'm thinking I might have woken him up from one of his freaky little sex dreams, ewww. "I love you Matt." I gave him the most sweetest smile I could muster. He frowned. "Whatever, he better bring your ass back." I poked my tongue at him and went into the lobby of the hotel. Dave was waiting for me.
"Hey champ." I squealed as he wrapped his gigantic arms around me. "Hey baby. Your hair is all the way brown now." He laughed. Yeah, see a couple weeks before my birthday, Shannon dared me to highlight most of my hair pink, to match my dress. I never back down with dares, so I did it. And now the highlights have finally washed out. "I know, I'm so happy. I love me some pink, but pink hair is Jethro's thing." I laughed as we walked to his room.
"Speaking of Jeff, I saw him at Wal-Mart earlier. He didn't tell you?" He asked as he opened the room door. "Nah, he was too busy trying to drown me and his brother. Wait, Jeff was in Raleigh?" He wasn't gone that long. "Uh no, I was in Cameron. Looking for you. I was gonna surprise you. Jeff said you were with your cousin. What's the deal with you two anyway?" He asked as he sat on the couch. "Who? Me and Jeff or me and Eduardo?" I asked. "Both actually, cause Jeff acts like he likes you, and Eddie, I don't know what to say about him." I sighed and sat beside him.
"Eduardo is my big cousin. Eddie's dad was my uncle. Eddie and I always clicked, more so than he and my other siblings. So when mom died and my dad left us, Eddie took the role as dad. Even though I had a godfather, which Eddie chose. But Chris is more like a big brother than a godfather anyway. But yeah, Eddie is like my angel on earth. I love that big headed idiot." I laughed.
"And what about Jeff?" He asked. Damn, he acts like he caught Jeff and I grinding on each other, even though that shit happened before on different drunken occasions. "Jeff is one of my best friends. Nothing more, nothing less. Same with Matt, Shanny, and the Lantern. They're my road dogs. Ride or die, homes." He laughed at me.
"Rey Rey is my little god-uncle. And if you're wondering about Randall Keith, he's my other ride or die vato. So is Amy, even though she did what she did. But everybody makes mistakes. And speaking of mistakes, that particular mistake Amy made, you know Adam, he used to be my vato too. Occasionally I talk to Jay Reso, you know, because he reeks of total awesomeness, but I don't seem to have the time now. Is there anything else you would like to know about my friends?" I asked. My nerves were getting bad. Who the hell does he think he is. Like he needs to know what Jeff means to me. I mean, I'm here with him at two in the fucking morning when I could be over in Jeff's arms right now, doesn't that say something to him?
Wait, what the hell am I talking about? He has no clue that I could be in Jeff's arms right now, does he? I mean, that would explain the sudden interest in what Jeff means to me, right. "Lori!" He screamed. Damn, I was thinking a little too much. "Huh, sorry." I smiled. "No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I'm just curious." He gave me that little innocent smile. It's so cute. He's so cute. "I think somebody's a little jealous. Don't worry, I like that." I smiled as I climbed into his lap. He smiled back and wrapped his arms around me and we engaged into a massive make out session. I was actually thinking about going all the way, until my jeans started vibrating. Dave stopped kissing me and gave me a depressing but pissed face.
Yeah, as soon as he heard the ringtone, his face turned into a complete scowl. "What, Jethro. It's two thirty in the morning you culo!" It's Jeff. I swear he has great timing. "Mama, where ya at? I woke up and checked the guest room and you was gone." I guess Matt didn't tell him that he dropped me off. "I'm fine, sweetie. I'm with Dave. I'll be back tomorrow, okay." Damn, I pissed Dave off when I called Jeff sweetie. What can I say, when he gets all clingy, it melts me. Then I guess I pissed off Jeff when I told him I was with Dave, cause he let out a loud shit!
"So ya stayin there tonight? Whatever. Just remember, abstinence is the way. Until you get with me. Goodnight, mama." I chuckled at him. "Goodnight creamy. I'll see ya tomorrow." I gave him that nickname after that whipped cream incident, he earned that name. Matt earned the name of Juicy lips. Ah, the good ol' days. "Creamy?" Dave said with an attitude. Ugh, he's getting on my nerves with the jealousness. "Nickname, me and Amy gave him. Damn, your jealousy is starting to get on my fucking nerves, buddy." I growled.
"I can't help it, babe. You're a catch." For some reason, I bought that. Well, I didn't actually buy that crap, I pretended like I believed it. I was too tired right now to argue anyway. I'm pretty damn sure that he wanted to fuck, but I'm not ready. Today was already a huge day in the life and times of Lauryyin. Eddie and Markey backing off, drinking JD with my goddaddy, throwing Mark in a pool, having him chill with the core crew. Man, today was just awesome. I'm not letting Mr. Jealousy mess it up.