A/N The last two chapters were extremely difficult to write because I have problems writing them a bit ooc, writing dialogue, etc. So this is one of the excuses I have for a two week hiatus concerning this story. The other reasons are work and personal problems.

Enjoy reading, please tell me what you think and if this chapter makes sense at all. It is a bit different than the rest of the fic. Reviews more than welcome. Thank you for following, reading, reviewing. everything!

He could not break the kiss, although he knew it was not proper, too forward, something he should not do. He should not even think about it, let alone act upon his feelings. But he also knew that after he had used her given name for the first time in so many years, there was no way of stopping this. Charles had overstepped the last of their invisible walls behind which they usually hid. He wanted to show her that she was not alone. The burden she wanted to carry all by herself was a shared one. They were both head of this household, the maids and footmen and hallboys were their shared responsibility not just hers.

His hand cupped her cheek, the other rested on her waist, drew her closer towards him, slowly, carefully. The last thing he wanted now was to take advantage of her vulnerability, turn this into something he would hate himself for later. And more important, ruin their relationship forever. All he wanted to do was be there for her, take care of her, show her that there was someone else hidden inside him, a person he had always tried to forget, ignore and banish for the sake of his career.

The hand on her waist wandered around her body to the small of her back. Elsie did not protest, did not back away or break the kiss. One more step, a bit closer, her body now flush against his. He had never experienced something comparable, not in the years where he was still a simple footman, or during his time on the stage. When he had thought earlier that he felt whole by holding her in his arms, as if the last piece of a puzzle had been found, now he felt complete, united with her somehow. Cautiously he let his tongue touch her lips, waited in anticipation if she would react.

Elsie opened her mouth almost instantly and he could feel her tongue against his, tentatively trying out this new experience. They were both soon lost in the embrace and their first kiss. Nothing else seemed to matter anymore. He did not care about Branson or Thomas or their dinner later or even about work. He had never imagined that he would one day kiss a woman again that passionately, or that the day would come where he was allowed to kiss her. Their relationship had always been more than only based on their work, their daily tasks, the running of this household. There was a friendship between them, Charles cherished more than any other he had ever had. If he was honest with himself, he had hoped for years that this kiss would happen; deep down inside him he also knew that there had always been something more than a simple friendship between them. But he never knew how to express his feelings without making a fool of himself.

He would have taken this step years ago but his subconscious longing for Elsie Hughes did not agree with the rules he had set for himself and his life in service, especially not when he became butler. So he had ignored his feelings for years. Until today, this weird, chaotic, out of place day where verything should have run as planned and nothing did in the end.

Elsie pulled away breathless, resting her head on his chest. "Thank you", she whispered. "For everything."

His hands stroked her back once more, not able to keep still. Charles wanted to feel her, had no intention of letting her go. "There is nothing to thank me for", he murmured and felt how she moved her head, then looked down into her smiling face. The tears had dried.

"You know how I meant it." A new kiss was placed on his cheek before she stepped out of his embrace, took his hand and made him sit down at the small table next to the door. "The tea is probably cold by now." And for the first time in a long year he heard her laugh again, true and heartily, over a cup of cold tea.

"It probably is", he joined in and was soon breathless again.

Across the table Elsie wiped away fresh tears with his handkerchief. This time tears of joy and laughter.

"Should I get us a fresh pot?" He had already reached for it but her hand was faster and stopped his, her fingers curled around his hand, gave it a light squeeze.

"No, don't. It is not important." Elsie looked into his eyes, did not break the contact. For a moment they got lost in each other's eyes. Charles no longer heard the voices of the kitchen maids, the footfall of the hallboys, the laughter from somewhere near the servant's hall. All seemed to stand still. He waited for her to continue, to say something, anything. He needed to know whether he still had her friendship or lost her because of his foolishness, this one moment where he had not thought at all but only acted upon his feelings.

"This day has been so unexpected." When she finally spoke, her voice was a whisper again, as if she was speaking to herself. "And there were so many things on my mind I wanted to talk to you about." Elsie closed her eyes. "So many different things." Slowly her fingers entwined with his until their hands were inseparable, lying there on the table.

He could not wait much longer; felt he had to explain to her now why he had kissed her. "Elsie," he tried out her name again, took the liberty a second time. It sounded so wonderfully soft, so different, described a completely different person than the one who had left the house this morning. This was not Mrs. Hughes sitting there in front of him. It was Elsie.

She opened her eyes again, looked at him without regret but with a hint of uncertainty in them. "I had not planned on doing this." Elsie nodded. "But you were upset, seemed so helpless and…", he stopped. Whatever he had planned to say would sound like an excuse to her, not a declaration of his true motifs and feelings. He had chosen the wrong words, made it sound as if he pitied her and only wanted to comfort her. Which was, of course, true but not the main reason why he had kissed her. Not at all. Her eyes were still looking intensely at him, waiting for an answer.

"Elsie, excuse me. I didn't mean to say it that way. I should start again." He took a deep breath and let it out slowly before he spoke the next words. "I said I had not planned on kissing you but this does not mean I haven't thought about it before. I knew it was wrong and certainly not proper and I should probably have stepped away the moment I started this. But to be honest: I could not and I didn't want to." There was a nervousness taking hold of him now he had never experienced before, not even on the stage or during banquets with the highest aristocracy.

A moment of silence followed. But then she freed her hand from his and brought it up to his cheek, let her fingers gently caress the skin. "And I didn't want to step away either, Charles. Truth is, I wanted you to accompany me this afternoon because I was tired of being only the housekeeper, the one in charge. I had hoped for a bit of time for ourselves, some moments where the house did not matter."

"But that did not happen." He concluded her thoughts and not for the first time today he blamed himself for putting his work above everything else. He had wasted another chance.

"No it did not. Instead I felt more responsible for all of them than ever before." She withdrew her hand and smiled weakly.

"I could have spared you that."

"Perhaps. But if you had come with us to the fair, this would not have happened." Her smile grew wider.

After all these years where he had tried to ignore his own feelings, had always considered work more important than anything else, had been afraid to lose this chance of a better, a new, a safer life should he breach one of the rules, the day had finally come where Charles realized, that he did not want to be only the butler of Downton Abbey anymore. There was this woman sitting right across from him at the table, smiling at him. A woman he had known, loved, admired for so many years, called her a friend. And who had now become something more.

"We are like their parents after all." He stood up and helped her out of the chair. "And we will take care of their problems together." They had not been that honest with each other for a long time. And Charles could not remember to have spoken with Elsie Hughes about such things so openly before. But it felt good, and right. "I will go upstairs and take care of Thomas and you can talk with Mrs. Patmore. I guess she's already waiting behind that door for you."

Elsie put her arms slowly around his neck, looked up to him and then stood on tiptoes until she could reach his mouth for another kiss. "Thank you for that."

TBC (yes! promised!)