Indiscriminate Happenings
Fandom: xxxHoLiC
Characters/Pairing: Doumeki/Watanuki, Doumeki's parents
Prompt: 7:2- Long Distance
Rating: M
Chapter Genre: Romance/Humour
Summary: Never complain about a lack of communication to Doumeki; he'll say something you probably don't want to hear.
I

"Doumeki, I don't know why you even bother to waste money calling me long distance when you never say anything," Watanuki grouched, keeping the cordless phone held to his ear with his shoulder. On the other side of the line, Doumeki shrugged, listening to his boyfriends voice and the sounds he made as he moved around what was most likely the kitchen, preparing himself a light lunch. "And did you just shrug at me? I swear that when it comes to verbal communication, you are utterly and completely useless."

"I like listening to you talk," he replied, leaning against the counter. His parents were outside on the patio, reclining on lounge chairs and sipping on cold drinks and conversing about nothing in particular. "Besides, it's not my fault my parents decided to take me on vacation."

"That is completely beside the point," Watanuki grumbled, dropping a heavy pot he was struggling with. "The point is that you call me every day and then sit there and say next to nothing! It's annoying."

Doumeki thought for a moment, then came to a decision.

"Well we could have phone sex," he suggested, face straight and perfectly serious. He heard Watanuki stammer and stumble for words, going on for a good thirty seconds before coming to an acceptable reply.

"It wouldn't matter anyways!" he cried, leaning against a wall and thumping his head back on it. "You never even moan when we're together so why the hell would you do it when we're not?!"

"I could try," he answered nonchalantly, amused by the reaction and one hundred per cent all for following through with his proposition. There was silence on the other side for all of a second as a thought wormed its way into his lovers head.

"Wait, are you alone right now?!" he demanded, voice raising to a high, desperate pitch. Doumeki glanced around, wondering if the door being open and his parents being about five meters away constituted as being alone. Then, for Watanuki's sake, he decided it did.

"Yes."

"Why don't I believe you?" Watanuki asked, slipping off his glasses and rubbing the bridge of his nose. He could practically see Doumeki shrug again and gave a self-suffering sigh. "You know what? You're impossible. That said, I'm going to have a nap and talk to Haruka for a while. At least he's not as perverted as you."

"You think my grandfather isn't perverted?" Doumeki inquired, raising a disbelieving eyebrow.

"Well at least if he has something lecherous to say he keeps it to himself," Watanuki muttered back, starting when his kitchen was replaced by the same scenery that surrounded him during his and Haruka's talks. Said man was standing a few feet away, grinning and waving a hand in greeting as he puffed on his cigarette.

"Evening Watanuki-kun."
II

Doumeki stared at the phone, slightly miffed at the abrupt disappearance of Watanuki's voice and knowing that he was sleeping and probably would be for some time if Doumeki Haruka had his way. Growling he hung up and went to join his parents on the patio, plopping ungracefully on the other chair occupying the space. His mother smiled at him and brushed back a strand of black hair into the wide brimmed hat.

"Did you enjoy your talk?" she asked, tone calm and serene. He shrugged and picked up the slowly warming lemonade he'd taken from the kitchen before they came out, sipping from it and almost allowing his face to distort in displeasure from the taste.

"He fell asleep."
III
I had a lot of trouble with this one too, but eventually I persevered and figured something out. And now I rather like it~! Aha, I actually just wanted to have Doumeki say phone sex. It would've made me giggle if my brother wasn't in the room but I smiled all the same. Enjoy~! BTW, I'm soooo sorry I haven't updated recently! My sister and her daughter have been here for the last three weeks and I've been babysitting most of the time, so no time to write!! As it is, I have yet to finish writing this set of drabbles and I really don't want it to catch up to me for the first time!!! It would make me sad. :( I hope you all can forgive me!