Chapter 5: Beer and Heart Break
It's been pretty easy to fall into a routine in this new city, in this new home. I walk up the front steps of the house fumbling with my keys, my arms weighed down with the heavy books that I am carrying. I don't know what I was thinking when I decided to double major. 'Always the over achiever,' Jades voice rings through my head. It's often something that she always teases me about. I giggle slightly to myself, continuing to fight with the door. " Come on, will you just open," I say out loud, pushing all of my weight against the door. The door gives way and I stumble through scattering papers and books through the entry way. "Great, just great. Perfect ten Ana."
" Is that a habit of yours? Talking to yourself?" a soft voice comes from behind me where I was knelt down picking up the things that I dropped. I gasp slightly turning around to look at who it is, pressing a hand to my erratically beating heart.
" Jesus Jasper, you scared the hell out of me," I say, putting the papers back in my notebook. He blushes slightly, and a strange look crosses his face. Almost as if he was fighting an internal battle as to whether or not to help me. Finally he sighs slightly and kneels down to pick up a few of the papers I missed. I grow self-conscious knowing that the papers he held in his hands has music lyrics I came up with written all over them. I see him look at the paper and smile. I grow somewhat breathless at the look that lightens his face. I feel the blush creeping up my face, and I wrap my arms around myself trying to think of something to say.
" These are good," he says simply handing me the paper.
" Thanks," I whisper, sliding the papers back into my bag. I watch as he walks towards the kitchen pulling off his gray university sweater. I look at him, and the stairs, trying to decide which way to go. Easy. Escape. Before I do something else to totally humiliate myself. I walk up the stairs quickly and practically run into my room, shutting the door a little too loudly behind me. I pile my stuff onto my bed trying to control my emotions. What is with me, I think to myself. I cant even be around him without turning into a bumbling idiot. I throw myself face down onto my bed and begin screaming at myself into my pillows. "You are such an idiot. Seriously Ana, you don't even know him that well. Who cares if he is gorgeous," I am interrupted in the middle of my tirade by the sound of someone clearing their throat at my door. I slowly lift my head to see an amused Jasper standing at my door.
" I uhm, erm, sorry. It was just a rough day, I sometimes find yelling at myself helps me calm down," I say, trying to make my excuse sound honest.
" I'm not sure exactly how that works, but I just came to tell you. Rose just called and we all want to go out tonight," he says, leaning effortlessly against the door frame. I stare at him as the silence falls in the room, and start biting my lip when I realize I was supposed to say something.
" Oh okay, well you guys have fun. I am sure that Jade and I can find something fun to fill our time, and if not I have a mountain of homework," I say, pointing to the mountain of books and papers on my bed. He looks at me for a second his eyes scanning my face, as if he were trying to determine if I said, what I just said. He laughs. An easy, joyful sounds that makes my heart speed up.
" Your funny Ana, when I said we want to go out tonight, that means you and Jade too," he says, turning to walk from the room. I am frozen for a second. Searching for something, anything to say.
" Hey wait," I say, jumping up from my bed to catch him before he shuts himself away in his room. He turns to look at me.
" Where are we going?" I ask, blurting out the first thing that comes to mind, just to hear his voice one more time.
" Belltown Billiards," he says simply, slipping into his bedroom closing the door behind him.
I knock on the bathroom door one final time. Okay, okay so not so much a knock, more of a pounding.
" Jade come on seriously you have been in there for almost an hour I need to do stuff in there too," I yell through the door, trying my hardest to sound pissed. The door swings open revealing Jade in her favorite faded gap jeans and a simple tight black shirt. I smile at her. She has always been pretty. Always. Her make up perfect, hair perfect, ugh so not fair.
" You done yet?" I ask, smiling sweetly.
" No, but you are more than welcome to come in and get ready with me, that way you aren't standing in the hall way screaming like a banshee anymore," she says, returning the sarcastic smile. I roll my eyes, shutting the bathroom door behind me.
" Thank you," I say, putting my make up bag down on the counter and staring into the mirror. My eyes by far are the greatest thing about me. I didn't get much from my mom. Physically speaking. I look more like my dad, I have his hair, his facial expressions, his awkwardness, but luckily I got my mothers beautiful green eyes. I sigh heavily. I could never be with Jasper. I close my eyes, ugh, where did that thought come from? "He prefers pixie like brunettes," the voice in my head taunts me, and I feel the familiar monster known as insecurity drift through me. I spent all of my high school career fighting my own personal self-esteem demons. I grip the corner of the counter and close my eyes taking a deep, clarifying breathe. I open my eyes to see Jade staring at me, a familiar light in her eyes. No words had to spoken between us. She knew me. She knew what was going on. She turns to me looking me in the eyes.
" Stop it. Whatever your thinking, whatever anxiety there is, just stop.," she says, shaking me lightly, immediately lifting my mood. I smile brightly, not even having to fake it.
" Thanks," I say simply, turning back to the mirror to look myself in the eyes.
"Okay ladies, seriously, if you aren't down here in two-point-five seconds, I will come up there and get you myself. It doesn't take that long to get ready, I mean God, I do my make-up in five minutes," Emmett's loud booming voice comes from the stairs. I laugh along with Rosalie and Jade as we finish what Emmett so lovingly called our 'un-necessary womanly ritual.'
" Coming Pookie," Rose calls through the door ever so sweetly. I choke back a chuckle at that as I am finishing up my eyeliner. I step back looking at myself in the mirror. Not too bad for my first "social" outing in Washington. I chose one of my favorite Ed Hardy shirts and a pair of light wash jeans. Simple, cute. I spent a little too much time on my hair, curling my waist length hair and making sure it fell just the right way. 'I wonder what jasper will think,' I think to myself, automatically shutting down that train of thought.
" Hello Earth to Ana, you ready girly or what?" Jade asks, waving her hand in my face. I snap out of my day dream and smile. " As ready as I will ever be," I say, grabbing my purse from the counter following behind her down the stairs. We followed the commotion that was coming from the kitchen. I walk in astonished by just how well the guys I lived with clean up. Edward went with a relaxed look. Pair of jeans, plain baby blue shirt, rolled to his elbows. His hair a falling into its naturally messy look. Emmett followed in his big brothers foot steps as far as the jeans went, but his shirt has me laughing. An obnoxious shirt that proclaims in big bold letters, "How Many Licks Does It Take" with the tootsie pop owl sitting precariously perched on a branch.
" Hmm I don't know, how many licks does it take Rosalie?" Jade asks, in the best serious voice that she can muster.
" Well if you really want to know," She starts saying, but the sound of Jasper clearing his throat awkwardly stops her.
" Really I don't need to hear this conversation," he says smoothly. I turn to look at him and cant help but to lose hold on the water bottle I had been holding onto. I haven't seen Jasper look like this. So lazily gorgeous. The top buttons of his black shirt un done to reveal a flash of pale skin, relaxed fit jeans.
" So you going to pick up the bottle of water Ana, or stare at Jasper all night?" Jade asks, teasingly. I snap back to reality blushing deeply as I pick up the water bottle. An awkward silence falls in kitchen, until Emmett bursts out into song.
" How many licks does it take to get to the center of an uh, uh" his loud booming voice sings causing everyone to laugh.
" We better go. Oh Jade you, me, Em and Edward are going in my car. That way you and Ana don't have to try and follow us and possibly get lost," Rosalie says, smirking as she looks at Jasper.
" Oh okay, well erm, I guess that means I am riding with you," I say, looking at Jasper.
" Guess so," he says, holding the front door open for me. I walk slowly to his car, looking through the darkness at Jade sliding into the back of Rosalie's convertible. Our eyes meet quickly and I shoot her a pleading glance, and instead of riding to my rescue like any good friend should, she just smiled and shut the door. I watch as Jasper walks around the front of his car and opens my door for me. I blush deeply.
" Oh thanks," I say, sliding into his black BMW. Immediately I notice his scent. The intoxicating smell of his cologne has me itching to jump him the moment he gets in the car, but alas I find an insane amount of self-control. He closes the door silently with a small smirk on his face as he walks around the front sliding into his seat behind the wheel. He starts the car and I have to admit I am a tad bit jealous at the beauty that is this car. " So how far away is this place?" I ask, trying to fill the silence that has fallen in the car.
" About twenty minutes, depends on traffic though," he says easily, driving smoothly through the streets. I keep my eyes fixed on the street lights that flash by us and start humming.
" What song is that?" he asks, and I turn to look at him.
" Oh sorry, uhm, its not a song, its just a melody I started writing a few weeks ago," I say, fidgeting nervously in my seat.
" Its nice I like it. You have an incredible talent," he says, and with that a comfortable silence falls between us until we arrive at our destination.
I stand by Jade watching Emmett pummel a frat boy at pool. Being underage I don't know how I got in, but alas I chose to stay on the safe side of things and drink Pepsi.
" So on a scale of one to ten how cute do you think he is?" Jade asks, sipping on her pixie stick.
" Ehh I give him a solid seven," I say, sneaking a small sip from her drink. I like the flavor of it, and it temps me to push my luck and see if I can get lucky and get a drink. Until Rosalie runs up to Emmett and whispers something in his ear that his mood shifting from happily buzzed to serious. I follow their gaze towards the door where Jasper and Edward have been standing for the last twenty minutes in a serious conversation. I catch a flash of dark hair and realize that here is a girl standing with them. She is beautiful, pixie like. Her cap of chocolate brown hair shines in the lighting of the bar. She flashes a bright smile at Edward, and I realize who she is. I groan silently to myself.
" Jade," I say, grabbing her arm. " That's Alice."
" No way," she says, following where I point. I don't know why but the sudden urge to get out falls over me.
" I will be right back, I have to go to the restroom," I say, walking as quickly as I could through the packed bar. I weave in and out of people easily and I'm just about to pass Edward and Jasper when it happens. A guy who is more than just a little drunk steps back from the bar losing his balance slightly, knocking me and his drink to the floor. I fall straight back, luckily enough catching most of the impact on my hands, when the cold sensation of his drink spreads from my neck to my thighs.
" Oh shit, sorry," the stranger says, and instead of doing the courteous thing like stretching his hand out to help me, he walks away with his buddies.
"Prick," I say, and I notice a slim hand held out to me. I look up into the face of Alice Cullen. A sympathetic smile spreads over her lips as she helps me to my feet.
" Are you okay?" she asks, when I am finally standing.
" Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Nothing a good washing wont fix," I look at her and try my best to smile, but instead tears start falling. " I'm sorry excuse me," I say, darting around her to the bathroom. I rush through the door and find an empty stall and I slam the door shut locking it tightly as I look down to assess the damage that the pricks beer caused to my shirt. I can hear the door to the bathroom open, and hushed voices.
" Ana, you okay?" Jade's voice rings through the bathroom. I sniffle loudly indicating to her that I am clearly not okay. A small knock sounds on the stall door and I unlock it revealing not only Jade, but Rosalie and Alice. All of them sympathetic looks plastered on their faces.
"Its okay look, hold on," Rosalie says as she rushes from the bathroom. I stand there soaking up the beer on my shirt with the paper towels that Alice helpfully handed to me. Ugh, I really didn't want to like her.
" Thanks," I say finally, trying my best to smile at her.
" It's no problem, personally I would have ripped the guys head off myself," she says, laughing slightly. " No one messes up my clothes, by the way I am Alice, Alice Cullen."
" I know, you, Emmett and Edward look so much alike. I'm Ana," I say, looking at her extended hand. " I would shake your hand, but its kind of disgustingly sticky."
" Gotcha," she says, pulling her hand back, a beaming smile on her face.
" So how are you enjoying my old room," she asks, taking the used paper towel from my hands.
" We love it," Jade says, her voice slightly slurred. I nod in agreement. Debating with myself and finally I decide to speak up.
" Yeah it's a great room, why did you give it up?" I ask, hoping that I don't come across too nosey.
" Ahh well I'm sure that you have heard by now that Jasper and I were, well we had a very serious relationship. Well I decided to end it because he wanted something even more serious, and I just wasn't ready to give it to him. I wanted to wait, and he didn't want to. So we broke up, anyways, long story short, I met an amazing guy just a month after Jasper and I broke up and we started dating. Well Jasper didn't care much for it. He didn't understand how I could tell him no to something more serious when we have been dating since high school, but the moment we broke up or so it seems to him, I jumped head long into another relationship. Anyways, he walked in on me and Mike in bed, and went a little ballistic. So I decided the best thing to do was leave, I couldn't expect him too, after all its his and Rosalie's parents house. Since then we try and be civil towards each other," she says, in a tone that is almost bored. I study her for a minute trying to gauge her feelings.
" Oh wow, that was a mouthful huh?" I ask, unsure of what else to say.
" You will learn that about me I talk a lot and I am not afraid to speak my mind," she says, and I can tell she is wanting to say something else, but the sound of Rosalie knocking on the stall door stops her. She glides through the door and holds up a familiar shirt. Jasper's shirt.
" Okay missy give me your shirt," she says, looking at me seriously. I look around and decide I have nothing to lose. I pull my shirt over my head and hand it to her, while she hands me Jasper's black shirt. I button it up and realize that I am swimming in it. I roll the sleeves up to my elbows, and pull it tight in the back and tie it in a knot.
" Not too bad," Rosalie and Alice say together and laugh. I step out of the stall and look in the mirror and decide it could be worse, like I could be stuck in a beer soaked shirt for the rest of the night. I fix my tear smudged make up and put my hair up. I catch the smell of Jasper's cologne as I am fixing my hair and cant help but to blush slightly at my own thoughts.
" Okay now that big beer drama is over, let go dance," Rosalie says, grabbing me and Jade's hands, pulling us back out to the back room where people are crowding in to dance.
" Finally Ana, my sweet, sweet Ana, come dance with me," Emmett drunken voice has me giggling. So I join him dancing wildly and happily. Somehow the minutes ticked by quickly, I grew hot and decided to step away for a few seconds. I watch as Emmett, Rosalie, Jade, Edward, Alice, a guy who I am assuming is Mike, all dance together laughing and smiling.
" Want a dance partner?," someone asks from behind, their warm breath blowing across my neck. I turn to see Jasper smiling at me.
" Oh, sure," I answer nervously as he places his hand on the small of my back and leads me to the group. The music was fast and pumping and we slid easily into the dance. His hands gliding from the small of my back to my waist. I look up to see him smiling down at me, he looks once quickly over my shoulder and then down at me, before he leans down and kisses me. We both stop moving. I sink into the kiss. Loving the feel of his lips on mine. He turns me around and continues the kiss, my arms wrapping lightly around his neck. He pulls away slowly, smiling down at me.
" Is she looking?" he asks, and I shake my head dazed and unsure if I heard him correctly.
" What?" I ask loudly over the music.
" Is she looking?" he asks again, nudging his head back, I look over his shoulder and see Alice and Mike lost in their own little world. My arms fall heavily down to my sides as I look up at him.
" Well, is she looking?" he asks again, almost urgently. I don't know how it happened. But my hand snaps up and across his face, slapping him with all of the strength I can find.
" No, she isn't fucking looking," I say, backing away from him, grabbing my purse from the nearby table, and I walk quickly out of the bar, my heart breaking with every step I take.