Indiscriminate Happenings
Fandom: xxxHoLiC
Characters/Pairing: Doumeki/Watanuki, Yuuko
Prompt:7:4- Sensitive
Rating: T
Chapter Genre: Humour
Summary: AU! Sometimes it's best to know your place.
I

"You're too sensitive," Doumeki stated as the smaller man stalked from one side of the room to the other. Considering the size of their makeshift prison, it was only about three of Watanuki's current steps to get from each. Watanuki scoffed, crossing his arms, letting them fall, running a hand through his hair, flailing, anything to keep moving and work off his frustration.

"My sensitivity is not the point!" he cried, glaring furiously at the door. "Those bastards had it coming! They had no right to do that! No right!"

Doumeki shook his head, one gloved hand reaching out to grab the other mans ankle as he strode past, then grasped his belt and pulled him down into his lap, ignoring the writhing and growling. "You may be one of the most powerful magi to grace these parts, but to actively turn and assault the guard because he grabbed you? When things are this tense and hostile?"

"He groped me! Meaning his hands weren't just on my arms, one was planted quite comfortably on my ass!" Watanuki snapped back, finally consenting to his position and relaxing minimally. Doumeki grunted, eyebrows lowering and eyes narrowing in a way that exhibited his displeasure.

"And because you flipped we're stuck in here, waiting to be sentenced by the queen." The door across from them was flung open, revealing a tall, black-haired woman clad in a low cut gown that split up the side of each leg, a smirk on her face. The two hastily stood, bowing low at the waist.

"How cute," Yuuko mused, sauntering into the room, folding her right arm against her body, fingers clasping around her elbow while her left hand rose to cradle her jaw. "The two lovers clinging to each other as they await their fate. How touching."

"L-lovers?!" Watanuki stuttered, head whipping to look between Doumeki's emotionless face and Yuuko's grinning one. "No, no, you've got it all wrong! We're not even friends, much less anything so intimate!"

"Oi-"

"My name is not 'Oi' damn you!"

"-Shut up and let her majesty speak," Doumeki finished. Watanuki's mouth closed with a sharp click and he held his tongue, looking away with a sour glare. Yuuko chuckled, abandoning her pose and letting her hand drop to her hips.

"You realized you've severely injured two of my best soldier, yes?" she inquired, beckoning Doumeki to step away from Watanuki the circling between them. "And because of this, I need two replacements. Since you were the one to create this issue, you shall be the one to resolve it." She pointed to Watanuki, eyes roving up and down, calculating and mischievous. "You look like the housewife type."

"Wha-"

"So, you will be working in the kitchens, cleaning, and serving us." Red eyes turned to Doumeki, ignoring Watanuki's cries and protests. "And you will replace Larg as my new personal guard."
II

"How the hell did you manage to get the job that requires you sit around all day, drink sake with Yuuko-san, and gorge yourself while I'm stuck doing all the hard work?!" Watanuki demanded, slamming the platter of food he'd spent hours preparing on the table, glaring at Doumeki, who shrugged and picked some of the Tamago Yaki off the plate. Yuuko laughed, draining a bottle of sake and setting it down, joining Doumeki in eating.

"Hitsuzen, child, Hitsuzen."

"Hitsuzen my ass."

"Your ass is what got you into this in the first place," Doumeki commented, sipping on his own bottle of alcohol.
III
Nya, I was going to cut this off at Yuuko's remark but the thought of Doumeki saying that with a straight face while drinking was too much to resist. :D Hope you enjoyed~! (These are getting longer and longer...) Thank you all for your wonderful reviews~!