Chapter 6: Head Wounds and Kiss and Tell
The cold air strikes me first. My breathe wheezing in and out of my lungs as I refuse to let the tears fall. I look around the parking lot, seeing Rosalie and Jasper's cars. I should key his car it would serve him right,' I think to myself. I look around trying to remember what direction we came in from. I start walking through the rows of cars towards the parking lot exit, when I hear someone calling my name.
" Ana, wait," Jasper yells at me, I turn to see him jogging towards me. I feel the anger raising inside of me.
" Go away," I say, turning back around. He catches my elbow and spins me around to look at him.
" Let me explain," he starts saying. I yank my arm back from his tight grip.
" Save it. I know what that was all about, your feeble attempt to A, get back at Alice for jumping from the serious relationship with you that she wasn't ready for, to the apparent serious relationship that she and Mike are in. Or B, you were hoping that she still secretly has feelings for you and that by kissing me you would make her jealous. God what are we in junior high again?" I ask, my voice raising in volume.
" Look Ana, I'm sorry," he says, looking genuinely upset by his own actions. He deserves every single ounce of pain," I think to myself, my anger quickly shifting to a tidal wave of pain. Blinding, paralyzing, sheer heartbreak. A pained look crosses his face.
" I don't care how sorry you are Jasper, I am not a pawn in some game. I don't want any part in your sick little attempt to win Alice back. Now with that said, I'm going home," I say turning quickly from him and starting to walk.
" You can't walk home Ana," he says, walking to stand in front me. I glare up at him.
" Want to bet?" I ask, the pain just radiating off of me, ringing through my voice.
" Listen, Ana, I screwed up I'm sorry, but this is a new town, and I don't want you to get hurt," he says, reaching his hand out to me.
" Oh but see you already took care of that, didn't you?" I say, walking past him and out of the parking lot.
So, I have had some pretty dumb idea's in my twenty years of living. This being one of them. Walking in the dark, in a strange town, when I have a horrible sense of direction in broad daylight. And did I mention its raining? Oh yes, raining. Pouring to be exact. I shiver violently against the cold and the wet as I try and see the street sign through the torrents of rain. My phone buzzes and I pull it out looking at the screen. The tenth text message from Jade asking me where I am and threatening to cause bodily harm if I don't text her back, unfortunately for me I'm shaking so hard against the cold that I can barely hold on to my phone long enough to put it back in my purse. I decide to keep walking. Just keep walking. I am almost certain that if I were to stop walking I would freeze to death where I stood. I turn right on a familiar road, and I can almost weep from excitement when I see the row of fraternity houses, which tells me I am only ten blocks away from home. I start walking quicker, passing the first row of houses, when I hear some rowdy voices from behind me. I shoot a look over my shoulder when I see a group of four guys walking drunkenly behind me.
" Hey girl how ya doin'," one slurred voice calls out. 'Think Ana, think'. I decide to cross the street away from them. They follow me though. My heart starts hammering in my chest when I realize that by crossing the street and turning I have come to a dead end with a group of drunk guys hot on my trail.
" Aww, you don't have to run from us sugar, we don't bite," one of the guys says, his eyes dark and somewhat menacing.
" listen I don't want any trouble okay, I'm just trying to get home," I say, backing against the wall. Sheer terror filling me. The one closest to me grabs my shirt and pulls violently yanking me against him. The smell of beer on his breath makes me want to puke, and I start fighting back.
" Don't do this please," I say, dropping my purse to the ground. I pull away and he yanks harder, and the fabric gives way with a loud ripping sound. I fall as the part of the shirt he was holding onto rips away from my body, smacking my head against the pavement and stars explode in front of my eyes. I shake my head trying to clear my vision, and I see my would be attackers running from the courtyard. I sit up experimentally, laying my head against the wall. Tears fall down my face as I realize what could have happened, and the reality of what has happened sinks in. The sound of screeching tires catches my attention, and I look to my right to see Jasper, Emmett, and Edward slamming out of their cars, with Jade and Rosalie right behind them. Jasper is the first to me, kneeling in the rain in front of me, lifting my chin with his finger.
" Ana, are you okay?" he asks slowly looking at me.
" Have a bitch of a head ache," I say, feeling my eyes filling with tears. Jade roughly pushes Jasper out of the way taking my face in her hands.
" What the hell were you thinking, Annalisa Marie Benson? Walking home, alone, at night," she scolds me roughly, before pulling me into a hug.
" Sorry, I was just being stubborn," I say, pulling away from her embrace.
" Well lets get you home," Emmett says, the most serious look on his face that I have ever seen him have. He bends down in front of me lifting me easily into his muscular arms. He puts me in Jasper's car and shuts the door. I shiver slightly against the cold that has reached my bones. I watch Jasper walk solemnly to the car and get in. The drive home was quick, five minutes. Five long torturous minutes that seemed like an eternity in the silence of Jasper's car. I watch as Emmett jumps easily out of the car and walks towards us, opening the door and lifting me out in one swift and graceful movement.
" Thanks," I say, as soon as he sets me down on the couch in the living room.
" Anytime half-pint," he says, a small tint of amusement in his voice.
" Half-pint?" I ask, looking up at him as Jade wraps a towel around me.
" Yeah your as light as a feather, so you are now half-pint," he chuckles lightly. I smile at the nickname.
" Okay seriously, what were you thinking Ana, walking alone at night?" Rosalie asks, concern flowing through her voice. I look at all of the eyes on me. Stopping to stare at Jaspers eyes the longest. The feelings of anger and hurt come back.
"Hold on before we jump down her throat for an answer, I'm going to clean up that cut. Maybe we should take her to the emergency room," Jade says, walking into the kitchen for the first aid kit. I widen my eyes, looking from person to person in the room.
" No, no. I am not going to the emergency room, please don't make me go to the emergency room," I say, my eyes pleading on Jade's. She knows my fear of emergency rooms. Actually hospitals in general.
" Fine I will take a look at it, and if I don't like what I see, we will take you in," she says, her tone turning serious. I watch her get to work smoothly. One thing about Jade, she is the most indecisive person I know, besides myself. Where I on one hand bounced from major to major unsure of what I wanted to do with my life, Jade never wavered on what she wanted to do with her life, she was sure of what she wanted of what she wanted to be from the time that she was ten. A doctor. Who would have thought, with her olive skin, black hair, and lip ring she looks like the typical punk chick. Her passion though is helping people, once you get passed the tough ass exterior. I watch her work. Methodically pulling out supplies.
" Can someone pull her hair back for me?," she asks, looking around the room. Emmett took Rosalie to the back room before she ended up throwing up all of her good alcohol from the sight of the blood. I watch as Jasper gets up and stands behind me running is fingers through my hair carefully.
" Is this good?" he asks, and I try to place the emotion in his voice.
" Yes, okay now Ana, this is going to sting, and I am not going to lie to you and say not that much, its going to hurt like a bitch," Jade says, looking me in the eyes as she gets ready to apply whatever it is to my head. I feel the cold contact of the liquid on my head, soon followed by a burning, searing heat. Tears came to my eyes, and I involuntarily screamed out.
" Son of a bitch," I scream, trying to hold back the rest of the four letter words that want to come streaming out of my mouth. I watch through streaming eyes as Emmett come traipsing into the room, a bra wrapped around his head and hot pink sunglasses on. I start laughing, small at first until I cant control it.
" Emmett, you look, you look like a bug. A really big, strange bug," I say, having totally forgotten about Jade busy at work patching up my head.
" I am Emmelina, the transvestite fairy, I have come to help heal your head," he says in the highest squeakiest voice I have ever heard, "And don't I just look fabulous?" Jade chuckles lightly at that and looks at me.
" Well I'm done, the cut wasn't too bad, a few butterfly stitches and you are good to go. You might have a slight concussion but I'm sure you will be okay," she says, closing up the first aide kit. "Now tell us, what the hell were thinking walking home late at night in a strange town, by yourself?" I look around, as the uplifted mood turns somber again. Jasper's hands still holding my hair. I move my head slightly and he immediately drops his hands.
" Look, I'm tired, cold, and wet, and if you really want to know what I was doing walking home alone, ask Jasper," I say, getting up and leaving the room. I start walking up the stairs when I hear Jade's voice ring out. " What did she mean by ask you?" I smile to myself at the accusatory ring in her voice.
I close myself in the bathroom, turning on the shower to full blast. The hot water steaming up the bathroom quickly. I look in the mirror, my hair soaking wet, eyes big and a paler than its normal shade of green. My skin pale. The bruise and newly bandaged cut run along the right side of my head. I press my fingers to it lightly and wince. I peel off the remainder of Jasper's tattered shirt and drop it to the floor. I step in to the shower snapping the curtain short letting the hot water stream over my body. I slide my back against the wall laying my head against my knees and surprisingly no tears come. I just start shaking. Thanking what ever holy entity there is for letting it not be so much worse than it is. A soft knock on the door has my head snapping up.
" Who is it?" I ask wearily.
" Jade," she says, and I hear the door sliding open and shut again. I peak my head around the shower curtain and see her standing holding some clothes in her hands. " I just thought you could use some dry clothes."
" Thanks," I say, closing the curtain again. I feel so bad, so selfish. I knew that whenever something bad happened to Jade how it affected me, and I knew it was the same for her. I turn the water off and grab the towel hanging over on the wall. I wrap it around myself and open the shower curtain and look at her.
" I'm sorry," I say, my voice finally growing shaky.
" Listen missy, I promised your mom I would keep an eye out for you, so please if you feel like doing something insanely stupid, just don't, or at least don't do it alone," she says, smiling a forgiving smile.
" Okay, I solemnly swear that I will not do anything insanely stupid without you," I say, raising my right hand.
" Ha ha, you smart ass," she says, and with that she leaves the room and leaves me alone with my thoughts.
I open the bathroom door and look around. No one is in sight and I cant hear anyone's voice, so I walk down the stairs carrying my soaked clothes to the laundry room. I turn the first corner and run right into Jasper.
" Oh sorry, erm, so it looks like I owe you a shirt," I say, shifting from foot to foot.
" Don't worry about it, it wasn't your fault," he says, looking at me a quick flash of anger flashing through his eyes.
" Well, then I am just going to take these to the laundry room," I say, moving to go around him.
" Ana, we have to talk about this," he says, causing me to stop in my tracks. I just nod in agreement and walk into the laundry room.
I never saw the inside of Jasper's room until this moment. His walls were painted a dark blue, with posters from some of his favorite bands on the walls. His bed was huge taking up a good part of the space, and it was insanely clean for a guys bedroom. I sit on the floor under his window, with Jasper sitting across from me. I watch him, as he attempts time and time again to say something. He opens his mouth and then shuts it. Shakes his head and does it all over again. I cant help but laugh. He looks at me questioningly.
" What?" he asks, trying to figure out what I am laughing about.
" Sorry, its just the way you keep opening and closing your mouth, it kind of makes you look like a fish," I say, laughing hysterically. Much to my amusement he lets a small laugh escape his lips.
" I am just trying to figure out what to say," he says, running a hand nervously through his hair. I have seen him be many things, in this first week of living here, but never nervous. " I should have never put you in this position. I should have never used you that way. It's just that this thing, between Alice and me is complicated. It's not even that I am in love with her anymore. I mean I will always love her, she was my first love, it was more of a spite thing. It shattered me when she told me she wasn't ready, but I was willing to wait for her," he says, taking a deep breathe almost as if to steady himself. " I was willing to wait for her Ana, and she jumps right into a relationship with the next guy who comes along." it grows quiet again because I wasn't sure what to say to him, almost afraid that if spoke up he would stop spilling his feelings to me.
" Ana, I am very sorry. I think about what could have happened to you, and I hate myself for putting you in that position," he says, looking at me, something glowing in his eyes. I shake my head at him.
" Jasper, what happened was my fault. I was stupid and childish. And yes, what you did was wrong, putting me in the middle of you and Alice, but I should have never attempted to walk all the way home in the middle of the night, by myself," I say, slightly rubbing at the pain in at my temple. " Besides I should have known that you could never," I trail of not finishing the sentence. I can feel the blush creeping up my neck towards my face.
" You should have known what?" he pushes me for the answer. I shake my head sadly, and get to my feet.
" Never mind, don't worry about it. Well good night Jasper," I say, walking to his bedroom door. I didn't even here him get up until I felt him catch my wrist in his fingers.
" Ana, please, tell me," he says, looking at me sincere hope in his eyes. I take a deep breathe and decide to say it.
" I should have known that you could never feel for me what I feel for you," I say, searching his eyes for a reaction. He doesn't say anything, not a single world for the longest ten seconds of my life.
" Ana, I," he says, and I shake my head. And step out of his bedroom.
" It's okay Jasper, I understand, its no big deal. Just a crush," I say, turning from him and walking into my room, leaving him to stare after me for the second time in one night.
I shut the door to my room quietly hoping that Jade is still awake.
" What was that all about?" her voice rings through the room quietly.
" Oh you know, same old same old. He says he isn't still in love with Alice, that he just kissed me out of spite. Oh and I confessed to him that I like him, and he didn't say anything," I say, falling back onto her bed to lay next to her.
" Hold on back up, when did he kiss you?" she asks, pulling herself up to sit next to me. I close my eyes.
" He didn't tell you downstairs?" I ask, dreading her reaction to all of this.
" No mostly him and Edward stared at each other a lot before Edward stormed from the room saying something along the lines of 'Nice going dumb ass'," she says, pulling her pillow into her lap.
" Oh well, long story short. He kissed me," I say, looking at her. Her facial expressions went through so many changes in such a small amount of time. First shock, then a smirk, and lastly confusion.
" And this is a bad thing why? You have been completely gaga over this guy since the moment you saw him," she says, her voice filled with genuine confusion.
" It was great, the kiss. Until the kiss ended and he asked me if Alice was watching," I say, the feeling of humiliation washing over me.
" WHAT?" she yells, and I clamp my hand over her mouth.
" Will you shut up," I say, releasing my hand only after she nods her head in agreement.
" That ass hole," she says, a look of anger contorting her beautiful face.
" My sentiments exactly," I say, falling onto my back staring up at her ceiling. Its quiet for awhile in the room.
" So what are you going to do? I mean its obvious you have feelings for him," she says, stretching out so that her legs were across my lap.
" Avoid him like you avoid grocery stores," I say easily. A calm quiet descends on us.
" I have to know something. How good was the kiss?" Jade asks, smiling innocently.
" Oh my God, so good," I say, laughing easily.
" Yeah but how good? Like on the scale of James to cute college boy you kissed last summer," she says, making me laugh hysterically.
" Oh, a million times better than college boy from last summer," I say, blushing at the memory of just how good the kiss was.
" Some girls have all the luck, damn" she says, laughing as she pushes me off the bed.