Chapter 9: It's All Right Ma, I'm Only Bleeding
Alice is anything if not persistent. She has followed me down every block, even kindly picking up the heels that I left a few blocks back.
" Ana, will you please stop and talk to me," Her voice pleads from behind me. I stop, the cold air blowing against my skin. Chills run all over my body as I turn to look at her through tear blurred eyes. I stare at her for a moment and realize that even if things hadn't ended badly between her and Jasper, I would have never had a chance, her beauty is that staggering. She walks towards me, her eyes filled with undeniable concern.
" Do you know that he still loves you?" I ask, tears rolling slowly down my face. She looks at me as if I am speaking another language.
" I should have seen this coming," she says, and I look at her confused.
" What are you psychic? Can you see the future or something?" I ask, and a look crosses her face like I have been let in on some huge secret, but she composes herself quickly.
" No, its just I saw the way you looked at him the other night in the bar when we were all dancing. You may think he still loves me Ana, and maybe a small part of him does, but that's just because we were each others firsts on so many levels," she says, stepping closer. I sigh heavily as I drop to the curb. She sits next to me. Its quiet for awhile, both of us lost in our thoughts.
" It doesn't matter, because he isn't over you Alice, and until he is he will never be able to give himself to someone else," I finally say after a long silence.
" You don't know him Ana," she says, and I roll my eyes at that.
" Your right, and I don't think I want to know him. I should have never come here. I'm leaving, as soon as I can," I whisper, tears choking my voice.
" You cant do that," she says, her voice suddenly urgent.
" Why not? I don't belong here Alice, I don't belong in his life, nor am I wanted," I say, knuckling the tears from my face.
" You cant run away from your problems Ana, it only makes them worse," she says, almost in a commanding voice. Immediately my defenses raise.
" Who are you to tell me anything, you don't know me," I say, suddenly angry at her.
" Your right Ana, I don't, but I would like to get to know you, just like everyone else does. It isn't just by chance that we all came together Ana, things happen for a reason," she says, her voice filled with emotion. I close my eyes, knowing that what she says is true. " Look, I cant give you all of the answers, and I cant promise you that what you feel for Jasper will turn into anything, but what I can promise you is that the friendships you can make with Rose, Em, Edward, Jasper, and Me, are one's that will never end."
" Someone should have told me growing up would suck so much," I say, laughing slightly.
" Yeah, what happened to the good old days right? When Barbie dolls were our main concern," she asks, and I laugh a little more at that.
" Yes those were easier days, when the men in our life were small, plastic, and quiet," I say, feeling somewhat uplifted. The roar of an engine catches my attention and the bright lights of a truck washes over us.
" That would be Mike, and his Titan-Of-Death," she says, standing up, offering her hand to me yet again. This is the second time in two nights that she has offered her hand to me after a humiliating experience. I take it and realize that I feel a kinship to her, though she is the one person inadvertently standing between me and Jasper. Mike rolls down the window to his truck and with the fakest and thickest southern accent I have ever heard in my life asks, "Can I offer you little ladies a lift?" Alice giggle's foolishly at this as she opens the door and elegantly hops up into the truck. I lift the bottom of my dress and climb in behind her. It's a quick and quiet drive back home, and a drive I wish would last forever. I dread walking back into that house, facing everyone. Facing him. I shut my mind at that thought. We pull into the driveway and I can see no one waiting outside for our arrival. I hop out and walk slowly to the front door, leaving Alice and Mike to talk in the car. I open the door after a few deep breathes and realize that the party is still going in full swing in the back room. I slip quietly up the stairs and walk down the hall, the light shining under Jasper's door catching my eye. I stop suddenly debating on whether or not to slip back downstairs and hiding out in Edwards room until its over. I dismiss that immediately thinking that there is a good chance that Jade and Edward would be using his room for far more entertaining reasons than what I would be using it for. I walk closer down the hall, when I can hear voices in the room. I cant help but stop to listen.
" I warned you Jasper, that if you were to hurt her again I would break your face," Jade's voice rings through clearly.
" Jade calm down," Edward says, easily.
" I will not calm down, he knew what he was doing from the first moment that he set his eyes on her and decided to use her in this stupid game he is playing and it isn't fair, and you guys may not give a damn about her, but she is all I have and I wont stand by and let him hurt her over and over again," her voice is angry. Oh boy she is pissed.
" Who says we don't care about her? Do you realize that in a weeks time both you and her have become not only friends, but family to us?" Edwards equally annoyed voice rings through.
" Maybe you do, and Rose, and Em, but him, he doesn't care about anyone but himself, and everyone knows it even if they wont admit it," she says, and I cringe. I wait breathless to see if Jasper will say anything. My heart beats sluggishly and heavily in my chest.
One.
Two.
Three.
Four.
Nothing. He doesn't speak a word, not in his own defense, not to deny Jade's accusations. The door opens quickly, bathing me in light. Jade and Edward stare at me, standing with my shoes clutched to my heart. Jasper standing behind them, a blank look on his face. I can feel the tears, and I curse the fact that I am easily one of the most emotional people on this earth. Jade walks to me wrapping an arm around me protectively, moving me down the hall towards our room.
" Ana," Jasper says, and I look over my shoulder to look at him, tears clouding my vision as I shake my head and close the bedroom door behind me.
I sit on the window seat staring out at the endless night. Jade hasn't said two words to me since we shut ourselves away in the room. I changed quietly leaving my dress pooled on the floor, I all but tore the pins out of my hair letting it fall where it may. I pull my knees to my chest, resting my head on my knees inhaling the scent from the sweatshirt I am wearing. My mother's sweater, that I snaked from her closet before leaving. It smells like her, like home. It comforts me, slightly.
" You want to talk about it?" Jade asks, easing herself in to sit across from me. I don't answer her right away, sure that whatever I might I say, will come out sounding ridiculous.
" You remember in Cinderella, that moment where she is dancing with Prince Charming, and even though they are surrounded by hundreds of people, it seems as if they are the only two people in the world? That's what it was like. That's how I felt when I was dancing with him, Jade. Like even though we were surrounded by so many people, him and I were the only two people in the world," I say, my voice shaking slightly. " It was like something passed between us. A connection, it was almost electric. I know he felt it to. There was a moment where he had his eyes closed, and they slid open as if he was waking from a peaceful dream, and he looked at me. Something in his eyes said he felt it too, and our lips were a breathe away from each others, and then he just pulled away. Dropped me like a hot potato," say, and Jade lets out an unexpected laugh. I glare at her, not understanding what she can possibly find so funny.
" I'm sorry, its just, you understand that you just referred to yourself as a potato," she says, breaking off smothering her laughter. I chuckle lightly.
" At least I referred to myself as a HOT potato," I say, laughing, suddenly hysterical. The laughter dies quickly.
" So then what happened?" she asks, tucking her dark hair behind her ear.
" Alice. He looked over my shoulder and saw Alice, and then proceeded to thank me for the dances as if the moment I know that we both felt wasn't real," I say, a single tear falling down my face.
" Douche," she says simply making me smile through the pain.
" I think, uhm, I think maybe once I have some money saved up from this new job I got that I am going to find a place of my own," I say nervously, knowing that Jade is going to blow her top.
" What the hell are you talking about? First of all you aren't going to let Jasper run you out of here, you are better than that. Second of all, if you move I move too," she says, getting to her feet to pace madly around the room.
" I can't expect you to move when there is something going on between you and Edward. I cant stay here Jade, I went off the deep end the minute Jasper walked into the room, and it would be nothing but torture if I were to stay here, living here, knowing that he is right across the hall," I say, looking at her.
" There is nothing going on between me and Edward," she says, a slight blush creeping across her face.
" Don't lie to me Jade," I say, turning so that my legs dangle over the edge of the seat. " I know what I saw." She stops pacing and stares at me, a guilty smile crossing her face before she comes over and sits next to me. We sit in silence for a minute, the only sound to be heard is the ticking of the clock.
" What is, or isn't happening between me and Edward isn't important Ana. You cant move out. You're my best friend. The cheese to my macaroni, peanut butter to my jelly, do I need to go on?" she asks, her voice growing increasingly panicked.
" Jade its okay slow down. I wont move out okay," I say, putting an arm around her shoulder. It takes a lot to get Jade worked up, and I hate seeing her upset. " So details my friend, what exactly is going on with you and Edward," I ask, changing the subject hoping to lighten the mood.
" Well, I might as well tell you," she says, and I laugh wildly knowing that this is going to be good.
JADE'S POV
Two hours earlier.
I let Edward lead me through the front door, and smile at the cool night air. I shiver slightly, taking a deep breath of the fresh air. Edward takes notice of my light shivering and he turns to look at me.
" I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking. I forget that you are from California and not used to this cold weather," he says, slipping his jacket off smoothly.
" Its okay, I don't need your jacket, don't want you to get cold too," I say, backing away slightly as he moves towards me to wrap me in his jacket. 'Please, oh, please ignore what I just said and let me wear your Jacket,' I think to myself. He smiles lightly as he proceeds to warp his jacket around my shoulders. I slip my arms into the sleeves and revel at the warmth.
" It suits you, and not only that but my mother would have my head if I didn't do the courteous thing and offer you my jacket in this weather," he says, taking my hand in his once again walking around the first corner, into the shadows.
" Oh well we wouldn't want that," I say, leaning against his car as he leans against the garage door. Its quiet for a moment.
" I have to tell you something Jade. The other night I watched you when you took care of Ana, and you captivated me," he says, taking a step towards me. I can feel the blush creeping up my neck as he stops right in front of me.
" How so?" I ask, trembling slightly at having him looking at me like he can see into my soul.
" The passion you have for fixing people is incredible. At first I thought that it was just because she is your best friend, but it was so much more than that, I can see you now. In a white lab coat, which by the way would look, incredibly sexy on you," he says, brushing a piece of my dark hair behind my ear. " And I can see you making a real difference, fixing people, saving their lives." I lose my train of thought, as I get lost in his eyes. Those big, gorgeous eyes.
" Tha-thank you," I stutter out lamely. He smirks slightly leaning in so that his lips are right by my ear.
" Do I make you nervous Jade?" he asks in a hushed voice. I shudder lightly.
" Yes," I answer back, and he presses his cheek to mine, sliding back so that his lips meet mine. My body explodes, from inside out. A shockwave races through my body, leaving every nerve ending in my body singed. He cups his hand behind my neck pulling me deeper into his kiss and I react involuntarily, my hand snaking up to feel his muscular shoulders before they dive into his hair. I wont lie and say that I have never kissed like this before, with such ferocity and pure animalistic need, but never before has a kiss so thoroughly intoxicated me. A small gasp makes me fall back into reality. I pull myself from Edward's kiss, his hands still tight on my waist. I turn my head to see Ana standing, staring at us. Tears shine in her green eyes. The pain she is feeling is all but palpable to me. I step towards her, concerned by what I am seeing. My best friend. My best friend broken.
" Ana, what is it?" I ask, stepping towards her, wishing that I could just hug her and take away all of this pain that she is feeling. I stop slightly shocked by her stepping away from my outstretched hand.
" I made a huge mistake Jade, I should have never come here," she says, tears falling down her face as she turns and runs down the drive way her teal dress billowing behind her. I stand in stunned silence for a second thinking of how she looks like a fairy tale princess running to her love. I turn my head and see Alice, her face contorted with concern. I start walking down the drive way when Alice reaches me and grabs my arm. I steady myself carefully so that I don't do anything I might regret. Like punching her in her perfect pixie face.
" Jade, please let me," she says, rushing past me, leaving me to stand and debate whether I should follow behind them. Edwards arm wraps around my waist as if trying to hold me in this spot.
" What do you think that was about?" he asks, and only one thing comes to mind.
" Jasper," I snap out, shaking his arm off of me as I push past him and towards the front door. I open the door and look around to see that Rosalie and Emmett have managed to get the party back in swing, I start to slam the door but Edward's hand catches it easily. I walk as calmly as I can through the party, walking through the kitchen to the back room where I see Emmett and Rosalie standing talking to the D.J. I walk past the people waiting for the music to start, fixing a small polite smile on my face.
" Where is he?" I ask Emmett when I am standing close enough for him to hear me whispering.
"Oh hey Jade," he says, obviously dodging the question. I look at him firmly.
" Where is he Emmett?" I ask again, a little more commanding this time. His smile falters slightly.
" He is in Edward's room, where our parents are talking to him," Rosalie says, moving to stand next to Emmett. She doesn't look angry, just protective. I cant blame her. I am protective of Ana, and besides it wasn't her choice to have an ass for a brother.
" Then I will just wait for him," I say, walking away avoiding the imminent fight that would happen between her and me, if I were to stay there. I walk back into the now empty kitchen pacing madly back and forth, stopping every once in a while to steady myself on the counter.
" Relax," Edwards voice says soothingly from the door way. I glare at him.
" Oh I will relax when I am done breaking that pretty face of Jasper's," I say, balling my hands into fists until my knuckles turn white. He chuckles lightly.
" Well here's your chance he says," and as if on cue Jasper walks into the kitchen his tie loosened around his neck, his slicked back hair messed from running his fingers through it. He lifts his eyes and stares at me.
" You, me, your room. NOW," I say, and he simply nods his head as he walks towards the stairs. I follow him angrily up the stairs unaware that Edward is following us. He walks into his room and I follow him, Edward quietly closing the door behind us. Jasper sits warily on the edge of his bed. I take a deep breathe trying to let the voice of reason to guide me. Screw the voice of reason.
" What the hell did you do to her?" I ask, trying hard to fight the urge to smack him. He doesn't say anything. The silence sets in. Its maddening. I cant take it anymore.
" I warned you Jasper, that if you were to hurt her again, that I would break your face," I say, venom drips through every word. If words and looks could kill, Jasper would be as dead as the hot pants trend. He just looks up at me, his eyes hollow, as if he cant see.
" Calm down Jade," Edward says softly from behind me, placing a hand on my arm softly. I shake his hand off turning to look at him.
" I will not calm down. He knew what he was doing from the first moment that he set his eyes on her and decided to use her in this stupid game he is playing and it isn't fair, and you guys may not give a damn about her, but she is all I have and I wont stand by and let him hurt her over and over again," I say, anger not being the only thing I am feeling. I feel her pain. I replay it over and over again in my head, the look on her face. The total and utter defeat that rolled off of her. I could collapse from the pain I know that she is feeling. Edwards annoyed voice pulls me from my thoughts.
" Who says we don't care about her? Do you realize that in a weeks time both you and her have become not only friends, but family to us?" he asks, his voice cuts through me like razor blades.
" Maybe you do, and Rose, and Em, but him, he doesn't care about anyone but himself, and everyone knows it even if they wont say it," I say, anger bubbling out and over. I stand there in the silence, waiting and watching. He never once defends himself. Never makes a statement he just stairs over my shoulder, his eyes empty as if they were dead. I give up on getting an explanation from him, and pull open the bedroom door, to find Ana standing in the hallway. Her shoes clutched to her chest, her eyes big and shining from the tears threatening to spill over. She looks so lost, like a child in search for her parents. I step towards her wrapping my arm around her shoulder leading her to our room.
" Ana," Jasper's voice rings through the silence. Her body stiffens as she turns to look at him and shakes her head letting me lead her into our room, our own little sanctuary.