Things changed a little after their feeding sex. Tamsin became Bo's regular, in a way. Bo would text her when she was injured. They would have sex. Tamsin would leave before dawn.
The sex became less awkward and more passionate as time went by. Sometimes they failed to stop even after Bo had completely healed. Sometime her injuries were not that so fatal in the first place.
But they never talked about it.
As close as they were in bed physically, they never speak to each other in public.
Tamsin still saw Bo in the Dal's, almost everyday.
Sometimes she sat at the bar having drinks while chatting with the owner. Sometimes she flirted casually with other guests. Sometimes she sat beside a table with her human pet for rounds of tequila shots.
She looked like she was not in the train wreck mode anymore. She never got so drunk that someone had to drag her out any more. She never tried to charm anyone's pants off in the bar any more.
Sometimes she even joined them for a pool game. She laughed out loud, drank beer and slap Dyson's butt.
Tamsin could still see the pain and loneliness in her eyes, buried deeply inside.
That look hurt her.
When they walked pass by each other, they tried to smile but often ended up with their heads turned away from each other to avoid eye contact.
They never talked in bed either, not when they were totally conscious. It was just hot, steamy, sweaty sex, with screaming, biting, sucking and pinching. Neither of them worried about hurting the other one, or themselves. Tamsin would always find some bite marks or scratch marks on her shoulder, neck or back. She sometimes also felt swollen tissue under and inside her, caused by too much friction during the sex.
She knew that Bo had those too, but a succubus could heal.
Every time, Bo fed off her with absolutely no self control. Sometimes even as a valkyrie she would black out from the feeding. It was pure ecstasy but just too much for her to handle. She could tell how Bo suppressed herself over her human partner. She knew that if Bo didn't control herself on the human, she would have killed her long time ago.
It was not the only thing that she could offer to Bo, that Lauren can't. But it was the only thing that Bo needed from her.
Thought about this every time, the painful pleasure consumed her. It was like when she told Lauren she kissed Bo and Bo didn't even feed off her. She felt a pathetic yet relaxed joy inside her, as if she had something that Lauren didn't.
Now Tamsin had watched Bo long enough, she had finally realized the anger inside her was love, jealousy and pain.
She wanted something from Bo. In fact, she wanted everything from Bo. But she had none. She just had to force herself to hate her. Hate was much easier to deal with than love. And anger helped her to push Bo far away from her, so she would not drown in her unintentional gentleness, like the kisses she laid on her shoulder after sex.
Kenzi confronted her eventually, when she had her busted multiple times.
" Don't you hurt her. I know I'm no fae, but I can still kick your ass." She said.
Tamsin was drinking in Dal when the human came to her and said that to her. She downed a shot of vodka and smiled bitterly at the human.
" Relax." She said, " It's just sex. I am like her dinner."
The human opened her mouth and nodded. Then it was dead silence between them.
You can only hurt someone who loves you. Like the absence of Lauren had hurt Bo. Like Bo had hurt Dyson by choosing Lauren. Like Bo had hurt Lauren by feeding on Dyson.
You just can't hurt someone who hate you, or doesn't give a damn about you.
Sometimes she wondered if Bo gave a damn about her.
Maybe she did, maybe she didn't.
Bo was an excellent lover in bed. Sex with her was always amazing. She would kiss the bite marks on her shoulder after sex, as if she was apologizing. And that was always the sweetest yet most painful moment. Tamsin had to force herself not to dwell into those soft kisses.
But anywhere away from bed, they were not very far from total strangers. They resented each other like enemies. Tamsin knew that if a rock fell on her head, Bo probably would push her away if she was beside her. But that was just because she was Bo. She always offered a helping hand. And she always tried to take care of everyone around her. Tamsin knew if she asked her for something, as much as Bo hated her, she probably would help her anyway, if she could.
That was exactly why she fell for her. Her warmth, her kindness, her gentle soul.
But she never wanted any help, or any favor from her. She just wanted her.
One thing and the only, she couldn't have.