Hey guys! Thanks so much for the reviews! FanFicGirl10 and Emberka-2012 you guys both asked if he hated her because of something in the past or because she's Shane's sister. I'm writing it as if he just kind of snapped at the sight of Caitlyns insanity coupled with a physical reminder of Shane. He kind of attacked Glenn in the show after Lori died when he was in a rage, so I thought it wasn't too much of a stretch. He doesn't actually hate her though, which you should start to see in the next few chapters. Hope you like it!

Also, just a warning for the feint of heart, this chapter is the beginning of the smut and adult themes (abuse/violence) that earned the story and M rating, so consider yourselves warned!

Chapter 13

-Lexi-

Lexi remained sitting in the grass staring into space long after they brought Rick inside. A kind looking girl named Beth came for Caitlyn a few minutes later, assuring Lexi that she'd be alright before leading her to her father who planned on examining her swollen belly to see how she was progressing.

Lexi knew that she should go win her, but Caitlyn was fairly lucid at the time and the thought of facing Rick again was too much for Lexi to bare.

Rick had laid a hand on her. He would have done more if Daryl hadn't caught him. After realizing Caitlyn was pregnant he just flew at her, arms outstretched as if he'd ring her neck if he got the opportunity. Rick? She just couldn't understand.

Lexi had been roughed up by a man only one other time in her life. After the incident at the Grimes' house, Lexi successfully put distance between herself and the Grimes family. With Caitlyn off at school and Lori kept busy by Carl it wasn't difficult to find excuses not to frequent the house.

She decided pointedly that she needed to get over Rick, and needed to start giving boys her own age the time of day. The teenage population of King County was more than happy to oblige her, and by the middle of Junior year she'd been on a string of dates.

Eventually she caught the attention of Jonah Stokes, the senior football star, who had made the town immensely proud by getting drafted to play at Clemson. Some of the diehard Bulldogs fans were even thinking of switching allegiances, and in some of the shops on main street you could still see the orange and purple paw prints they'd hung in support.

So when he asked her to winter formal she'd accepted without question, as in awe of him as everyone else. They had a good time, and he was incredibly charming, but when he brought her back his empty house rather than her own she had hesitated.

"Come on Lexi, I just want you to come in and have a few drinks. We just got the hot tub installed out back and everything."

So she'd followed him in against her better judgement, and after a few drinks they climbed into his hot tub together grinning drunkenly at their daring as the sat there in their underwear, steam pouring off their skin in the chilly night air. Less than an hour later he was carrying her back through the sliding glass door into the house, making out as they went, and laying her down on the soft living room carpet.

She was drunk; drunk from the whiskey, drunk from the heat of the jacuzzi, and drunk on his kisses and touch. She'd never had a boy touch her like that before, gently playing with her nipples through her soaking wet bra rather than simply grabbing hold of her boobs and squeezing. She'd wanted more of that, but didn't realize how far it had gone until he was on top of her, pushing his hard dick inside her as he muffled her cry of pain with his kiss.

When she got home the next day, hungover and disheveled, Shane was already there. The sight of her sent him into a worse rage than he'd already been in, infuriated beyond belief by the visible hickeys starting to show through on her neck. He'd smacked her across the face when she refused to tell him what happened. Then he'd grabbed her painfully by the jaw forcing her to face him as he questioned her again, slapping her across the cheek every time she declined to answer.

Rick had showed up then, hauling Shane off of her and shoving him forcefully into the other room. They'd had it out in there but eventually Shane stormed off, slamming the front door behind him and tearing out of the driveway in a rage.

Rick came back into the foyer where she was standing with an understanding look in his eyes.

"You ok Lex?" he said, pulling her into a hug. The embrace was enough to crack what little control she had left. She stood there crying into Rick's chest telling him everything as he gently stroked her hair and rocked her back and forth like a child.

"I didn't mean for it to go this far... I didn't mean for it to happen... I'm so so sorry." she sobbed at last, finishing her story.

He pulled her out of the embrace slightly, taking her by the shoulders and turning her so he could look her in the eye.

"Lexi, you have nothing to apologize for. I'm just glad your ok. Never be afraid to come to us ok? No matter what, we still love you. No matter what, I'll still love you."

His words echoed in her memory as she sat.

'Rick what have I done?' she thought miserably.

As the sun began Carl came out and sat down beside her leaning against her in silent support. The gesture brought tears to Lexi's eyes once again.

Her and Carl had been close when he was little, but last summer after Rick had been shot he had been shy around her at first when she came to stay with them. She'd just finished her first year of law school at Emory, and had already accepted an internship in DC when Rick was shot. Caitlyn had been about to quit her job at Emory hospital to help Lori out but Lexi had volunteered instead, knowing that without a steady job Caitlyn's PA school debt would threaten to overwhelm her financially.

Lori spent most of the summer in the hospital by Rick's bedside leaving Carl alone with Lexi for hours each day and the two soon grew extremely close. Lexi had marveled and worried at his strength, noticing how in many ways he cared for Lori rather than vice versa. It broke her heart all the more when he finally did breakdown and cry as she was leaving to return to Atlanta at the end of the summer. It had been the last time she saw any of them, Rick, Lori, Carl, and Shane before the outbreak hit in late September.

Shane. She wondered what had become of her brother with a heavy heart. Their relationship had been the strongest it had been since their mother's passing that summer. Lexi had known that he wanted to make peace, wanted to start building a relationship with the adult she had become, but a part of her had refused to let it happen.

The thought brought tears to her eyes again as she realized with certainty for the first time that now she would never get the chance. Although no one had told her, she knew he must have passed, he would never have left Carl, Rick and Lori.

"You can come in, Lex, if you wanna," Carl whispered finally.

"No thanks bud. I think I'm going to set up out here for the night. I'm still not ready to face your dad again quite yet," she said standing up and wiping the dirt off her pants absentmindedly.

"He's been... Different. Ever since mom..."

Lexi squeezed her eyes shut at the confirmation. She had told herself all day that Lori was inside with Rick, sharing his fury and disappointment in her for what had happened to Caitlyn, but a part of her had known that her friend couldn't be here. Lori would never have held this against her- hell, she still couldn't understand why Rick did.

She enveloped Carl in a hug, holding him tightly as if her embrace could somehow transfer all the affection she felt for the young boy into his heart.

He hugged her back, then broke the hug saying, "we've secured this whole yard but I'm still uncomfortable with you sleeping in the open just in case. We station someone at watch every night in that tower. You should stay there until you're ready to come inside. Carol will bring dinner out to you there in an hour."

Lexi smiled down at him, marveling at how much he sounded like his father. Leadership had always come easily to Rick. Thinking about him again sent a jolt of pain through Lexi's chest. Even after hours of thinking about it, she still couldn't make sense of his anger and coldness towards her.

Smiling sadly, she ruffled Carl's hair affectionately before sending him on his way. Then she grabbed her stuff out of the car behind her and headed for the watch tower.