Author's Note: Hello again everyone :D Like always I dont own Twilight or the characters....Ana and Jade are all mine though!!!! I want to say a HUGE thank you to AstridxLinnankivi for being so awesome and leaving me such awesome reviews! You Seriously made my day you have no idea :D I hope that this story doesnt disappoint. And just to clrify everything for everyone this is a story in which the Vamps are n fact ALL HUMAN! I just wanted to make that clear and I didnt do that because I dont like them as Vamps, I LOVE them as Vamps, just wanted to write and see what would happen if they were to be human :D Anyways, Read, Review :D I will LOVE you forever and a day I promise hehe buckle up kiddos and get ready for CHapter 14 :)
Chapter 14: So Close Yet So Far Away
It has been two weeks since the last time I spoke, and fought, with Jasper. Everyday for the past two weeks I have come into my office to find a bouquet of pink water lilies sitting on my desk. And everyday I take the flowers and put them in random places around the office. In the microwave in the break room, woman's bathroom cabinet, men's room urinal. Yes you heard right. I put one of the pretty vases full of beautiful flowers in a urinal, and I proceeded o take a picture and send it to Jade. Who in turn sent a voice message of her laughing hysterically and subsequently being shushed by the librarian. I walk into my office caught slightly off guard by the lack of pretty flowers on my desk. Finally he gave up. The bastard. I try not to feel to upset about this, but I had grown rather accustomed to my little game of hide the flowers. I sit down heavily in my chair and look at the empty spot on my desk, when the ringing of my phone makes me jump. I answer it quickly and it is the front desk.
" Ana, you have a delivery here," the secretary says, and she sounds somewhat, jealous perhaps.
" Oh erm, okay I will be right there," I say, hanging up the phone. A delivery, I wasn't expecting anything. The c.d. that Veronica wanted me to listen to came yesterday afternoon, so what in the world could it be now. I walk through the hall my heels clicking against the floor as I go. I turn the corner and stop, my breathe catching in my throat as I see what is waiting for me. The biggest, goofiest teddy bear I have ever seen stares at me with shining eyes. And balloons of all shapes and sizes with the same sentiment on them. I'm Sorry. I laugh nervously as a small crowd has formed to stare in disbelief, Brody being among them. Brody. We have talked a few times since the night that I stayed at his apartment. We had to. I had to know if him and I did the deed while we were in our own drunken little world. He re-assured me we didn't, and that he would never take advantage of a girl in that state. It wasn't that I didn't believe him, but confirmation from the doctor at the clinic definitely helped set my mind at ease.
" Ana Benson?" the delivery guy asks in a bored voice. I nod my head at him and he thrusts a clip board in my hands asking for my signature. I sign off and he walks away and I turn back to look at what is before me. 'How in the hell am I going to get these back to my office?' I think to myself. As if he could see what I was thinking, Brody bounds forward offering to help.
" Thanks," I say lamely, as I pick up the balloons. He doesn't say anything until we reach my office.
" Looks like someone is trying really hard to get back into your good graces," he says, sliding the giant teddy bear into the corner. I roll my eyes at him as I pick up the note to see what Jasper has to say this time. 'I heard through the grapevine that the flowers I was sending were finding their way into interesting spots in the office. So I decided that maybe I can send you this teddy bear seeing as how he wont possibly fit into a urinal. Just remember I wont stop until you talk to me,-Jasper.'
" It looks that way," I say, sliding the note into my top desk drawer. We sit in awkward silence for a few moments.
" How many balloons you think you have there?" he asks suddenly, and I turn to look at him. I study the balloons for a second.
" I don't know, want to count them?" I ask, as I smile slowly. We start counting and after twenty minutes we have come to the total. One hundred and fifty balloons. Pink, blue, red, black, white, green, orange. Hearts, starts, circles. This boy just doesn't give up. His persistence much to my horror makes my heart sigh. I clamp down on that thought, and start thinking of a way to get rid of the balloons.
" Hey Brody, you busy after work?" I ask, smiling sweetly at him. He shakes his head.
" Okay cool meet me in the copy room after work, I have come up with an idea," I say, and he walks away chuckling to himself.
" What kind of idea?" he asks as he walks backwards towards the recording studio.
" A balloon party kind of idea," I call to him, closing the door laughing as I start scheming.
One hundred and fifty color copies later Brody and I are headed to one of the heaviest populated areas of the campus. As we walk swiftly carrying the balloons in hand I smile evilly as I send a mass text to everyone in my phone, including Jasper. -Come see the show. Sure you will be entertained.- I step up onto one of the benches and start talking at the top of my lungs.
" Hey everyone. So uhm, I'm Ana. And I am having this problem with someone who is sending me gifts trying to apologize for something wrong they did. These balloons being the newest addition. SO I am going to hand out these fliers and if you are holding one you get a balloon, and at exactly four-forty we are going to release every single one of them, as our own personal way of saying we are letting go of the people who have hurt us. Enjoy," I say, and much to my surprise there are a ton of people coming up to get a flier. The flier that reads, -For every person who has put you down, called you names, played with your heart, screwed your emotions. For the person that has broken your heart or never took notice. Let it go, let it all go, and if it isn't as easy as letting go of a balloon at least have fun pretending that it is their head floating away into the atmosphere and possibly getting caught on an electrical wire and popping.- in ten minutes flat the fliers are handed out and I see Jade, Edward, Emmett, and Rose all pushing through the crowd to where I was standing.
" Ana, what are you doing?" Jade asks, staring up at me in wonder. I smile smugly.
" I am having a balloon party," I say, smiling widely.
" Where in the world did you get all of these balloons. Please tell me you didn't spend your money on these balloons," she says, looking at me like I have gone crazy. I shake my head.
" Nope, I didn't spend my money on anything, he did," I say, pointing to where Jasper is standing watching in wonder. I watch the look on his face transform, from curiosity, to understanding, to annoyance and finally anger. His face is red with it. Serves him right. Thinking pathetic, but beautiful flowers, and giant teddy bears and balloons could possibly make up for the hell he has put me through in such a short amount of time. Jade laughs darkly to herself and tries to cover it but doesn't succeed. Emmett is laughing but he laughs at everything. Rosalie and Edward are they only two who don't seem to entertained by the whole thing. Oh well, their loss, if they cant laugh at something so silly it isn't my problem. I call out for everyone to release their balloons and with cheers and yells filling the air of the courtyard, one hundred and forty nine balloons float away. One balloon waits in my car. One single solitary balloon, that I guess in some way I am holding onto like my last hope. People file out quickly off to their Friday night plans when Brody reaches up grabbing me by the waist helping me down. I brace my hands on his shoulders and let him help me down. He smiles down at me, and leans in for a kiss. Out of the corner of my eye I can see Jasper watching, and a part of me screams to kiss Brody. To make Jasper feel just a small amount of what I felt. I cant. I just cant. I turn my head so that his lips brush my cheek and he looks at me questioningly. I just smile and hug him, thanking him for his help with the impromptu balloon party.
" Hey so are you guys coming tonight? The party at my place?" he asks, and I look around the group.
" I am always up for a party," Emmett says, clapping his hand on Brody's back.
" Okay ten my place. Ana can lead the way," he says waving good bye to everyone.
" You know Ana, you have come up with some crazy ideas, but this one was great. Very entertaining," Jade says, smiling brightly.
" A tad childish don't you think," Rosalie says, looking kind of upset by my actions.
" About as childish as name calling," I say, breezing past her.
Brody's party has been going for an hour, and already I regret coming. My head pounds along with the music in the room and of course Rosalie was sure to invite Jasper along for the ride. Stupid Jasper. With his gorgeous smile, beautiful eyes, hair that I itch to touch. "Stop it Ana, what they hell are you doing? He made it perfectly clear that you and him are never going to happen," I yell at myself internally. I turn around quickly hoping to make my way through the drunken crowd to get a drink. Something besides the stupid glass of ice water that I have been sipping on for the last hour. As I turn I bump solidly into Mike. Great, so Alice is here too. Just what I need.
" Hey Ana, how you doin,'" he asks, his voice slurring thickly.
" Hi Mike, I'm fine how are you?" I ask, trying to walk past him.
" I am just a little bit drunk, want some of my Doctor Juice?" he asks, extending a bottle towards me.
" No thanks Mike," I say pushing the bottle towards him again. He shoves it at me again.
" Come on Ana, loosen up have some," he says, his inebriated state causing him to misjudge how far he was pushing the bottle and he smacks me right in the eye with it. I yell out in pain.
" Oh no, Ana, I'm sorry," he repeats over and over again through laughter. Alice breezes over quickly and starts scolding Mike like a child. She turns to me and grimaces when she looks at my eye. Oh great, that's never a good sign.
" Come on," she says, dragging me through the mass of people and into the bathroom. I hop up onto the counter as she runs a wash cloth under cold water.
" Its funny we always run into each other at a party and when something bad has happened," I say, pressing the cloth to my eye, glad that the coolness helps ease the throbbing.
" Yeah funny. So tell me something," she says, and immediately I know this isn't going to be a friendly talk. " Just how long are you going to be giving Jasper the cold shoulder?" I stare at her through my one good eye. I shrug my shoulders at her.
" I don't know Alice. What good would it do honestly? In the end I will still be the one left feeling empty," I say, turning to look at just how bad my eye is. Its not too bad. A little puffy. It will be bruised in the morning though, I think to myself.
" Well how do you know unless you try," she pushes the issue making me want to snap.
" Alice, I appreciate your thoughts, but this is something I will have to do on my own time," I say, and she looks at me seriously.
" You don't have much time left," she says, and I look at her curiously.
" What do you mean that I don't have much time left?" I ask, panic suddenly spreading through my body.
" You didn't hear this from me, but Jasper has been talking about moving," she says, and just like that everything changes. These past two weeks I have wasted time holding onto anger. I throw down the wash cloth.
" I have to go find him, where is he Alice," I ask and a small smile spreads over her face.
" On the balcony," she says, and I rush out of the bathroom. Pushing through the crowd. Someone catches me around the waist. I turn and see Brody smiling drunkenly at me.
" What's the rush sugar, where are you goin?" he asks, his breathe blows over me. The smell of cigarettes and alcohol assaults my senses. I struggle against his hold.
" I have to go find Jasper," I say, yelling over the music. His hold tightens on me.
" Aww, no you don't. You need to stay and dance with me, and maybe later we can pick up where we left off a few weeks ago," he says, pressing a sloppy kiss to my neck. I crane my head away from him struggling against him.
" Let me go Brody, please," I say, looking around in panic to see if anyone I know is around. He grinds his body against mine. I catch a glimpse of Emmett, Rose, Edward, and Jade dancing close by.
" Jade," I yell over the music, but my voice gets lost in the noise of the room. " Jade." I yell a little bit louder. Still she doesn't hear me. Suddenly the grip that was so tight on my body loosens and I look over to see Jasper and Brody standing toe to toe.
" I do believe she asked you to let her go," Jasper says, his voice sounding beyond angry. He sounds dangerous.
" I don't think its any of your damn business," Brody shoots back shoving Jasper back a full step. Then all hell breaks loose. Fists start flying and I people are pushing and pulling me trying to get a closer look. Emmett easily grabs Brody around the neck pulling him away from Jasper. Edward grabs Jasper dragging him out of the front door. Emmett drops Brody to the floor and starts leading me out of the door.
" Ana, when you want a real man you know where to find me," Brody calls and I shoot a nervous glance over my shoulder.
The car ride home was long and awkward, no one spoke. I drove steadily through the dark and wait patiently while everyone gets out of the car. I look over my shoulder to the balloon that flouts in my back seat. I grab the balloon with a sigh and walk into the house. Everyone is standing in the kitchen, Rosalie busy getting ice for Jasper and his eye. Looks like he is going to have an even bigger shiner in the morning than I am, I think to myself. I walk upstairs avoiding the conflict. I go into my room and grab a piece of paper and scribble across it in a hurry. -Jasper, we need to talk. Meet me in my room at midnight -Ana. I take the note across the hall. I open the door to his room and set the note on his dresser. I turn around in time to see Jade walking into our room. I follow her, and close the door behind me.
" So how pissed is everyone at me?" I ask and she spins around eyes bright with humor.
" No one is mad at you, hell Jasper has been itching for a reason to pound Brody's face in since the day you called and left that message. The only one slightly upset is Rosalie, and that's a given," she says, changing her clothes quickly.
" Oh well that's good. Did you know that Jasper has been talking about leaving?" I ask, sitting on my bed, pulling my favorite blanket into my lap. I wait in silence, playing with the frayed ends to keep my fingers busy.
" Who told you?" she asks, pulling her brush through her dark hair.
" The question should be, why you didn't tell me," I say, glaring at her from where I sat. She sighs heavily throwing her brush back onto her bed.
" Listen Ana, I would have told you. It's just, Jasper begged me not to," she says, and I stare at her in disbelief.
" Wait a minute, you have been making sure every second of everyday that me and Jasper wouldn't be in the same room as each other for more than two seconds, and you are telling me that you have had heart to hearts with him," I accuse, totally broad sided by the idea.
" Look don't hate me, okay? Its just that after that night everyone was so mad and no one would talk to him, not even Rose. I felt bad, especially since I threatened him with bodily harm," she says, an honest to goodness guilty look on her face. She looks just like the kid who got caught with her hand in the cookie jar. My heart sighs at this. She always has had a soft spot for people who were outcastes. I roll my eyes at her.
" okay fine, whatever. Listen, I want to talk to him. I need you to be out of the room tonight," I say, and she looks at me warily.
" Aww come one Ana, where am I supposed to go?" she whines stomping her feet as she goes.
" I don't know Timbuktu for all I care. I'm sure Edward wouldn't mind you crashing in his room tonight," I suggest and she smiles over her shoulder.
" Oh, your good. Okay well, I guess I will see you in the morning. Ana," she says, stopping and turning to look at me from the door way. " Be careful, not only with your own heart, but with his. He isn't as strong as he looks." with that she walks out of the room, leaving my head reeling with what she just said.
I sat on my window seat watching the rain fall steadily out side of my window, when a small tapping on my door gets my attention.
" Come in," I call out softly, turning my head to look out of the window again. I hear my door click shut and the shuffle of someone's feet over the carpet. Jasper sits across from me and I look at him. His left eye is puffed up and his lip slightly swollen as well. Dried blood forming on the cut.
" Looks like he got you good," I say, my fingers itching to reach out and touch him. Instead I play with the small silver ring I wear constantly on my pinky.
" It was worth it," he says easily. I watch as he leans his head back against the wall.
" So, I hear through the grapevine that you are talking about leaving," I say, running my hands through my hair. His eyes change from calm to stormy in that one sentence.
" Yes," he says, and I pull in a shaky breath trying to swallow the tears that thicken my throat.
" Why?" I choke out as calmly as I can, but in my head it's a mad scramble. My heart screams out to his, begging and pleading in silence. I watch as he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.
" It would be for the best for everyone involved," he says, and I feel my choke hold on control slipping through my fingers.
" Better for who?" I ask, my heart pounding erratically. His eyes open slowly as he leans towards me.
" Better for you," he says, running a pale finger down my face.
" You cant be serious," I say, pulling my face away from his hand. His eyes widen at my tone.
" What? You haven't talked to me in what almost three weeks, and every attempt to open the door and get you to talk to me, you turned down. What am I supposed to do, stay here knowing that you are right across the hall, so close that I can almost taste you, and pretend that it doesn't hurt me?" he asks, getting to his feet to pace furiously around my room.
" You expect me to live here knowing that you aren't across from the hall. That you aren't just a few steps away. I'm sorry Jasper, I am. I'm sorry that I held on to the anger for so long and I am sorry that I was being stupid and childish I should have just come and talked to you," he cuts me off in the middle of my tirade by crashing his lips down on mine. He wraps his hands roughly in my hair, pulling me closer to him. This kiss isn't like the kisses before. This one is fierce and angry. It softens slowly until he loosens his grip on me. He pulls away, my heart galloping fiercely.
" I'm sorry," he says, taking a step away from me.
" I'm not. Jasper, please, just don't leave," I say, tears falling down my face.
" Ana, this, what may or may not be between us, it cant happen," he says, his eyes dead and dull as if all of his emotions have floated away.
" Can we at least be friends?" I ask, stretching my hand out towards him. He takes it carefully and instead of shaking it he presses a light kiss to it.
" Friends," he says, before he turns and walks out of my room, shutting the door behind him. I stare after the closed door for a long time. My arms wrapped tightly around me as the tears fall. I look up at the pink heart balloon floating happily across my ceiling. I grab the string and walk over to my window sliding it open forcing the balloon out side. I hold onto it for a few minutes, not ready to let it go. I loosen the hold on the string and let it float through my fingers. I stick my head out of the window, watching the balloon take its flight, and along with it what little hope that I had for me and Jasper.